//------------------------------//
// Extra: Not What You Expected 
// Story: Improbable Truth 
// by Charon the Chronicler 
//------------------------------//


Warning: Absolutely disgusting




"Hey Windell, I know you say you're male, but I've noticed something..."

"Oh yes, I think I know what you're talking about. Normally, in most other creatures, the male's more, ah, sensitive bits is hidden away in what we call a sheath--"

"Oh, okay then I guess that's--"

"BUT I've discovered this wasn't the case."

"So wait, where is your...?"

"See that's the thing that befuddled me for a while until I discovered something very important: There is only one hole."

"Wat."

"Yes, Val, I know it's hard to digest, no pun intended, but you need to accept that we live on a completely different universe, with a different evolutionary path. You need to accept that organisms here have a non-linear digestive tract. Think of us as adorable, highly evolved jellyfish, without the dreadful sting of cnidocytes."

"So do you guys not, erm, you know?"

"Unfortunately, we are still inefficient organisms. We still have outhouses."

"So it just...comes back out. Oh God. I think I'm going to puke."

"There's a reason I have so much oral hygiene products in the outhouse." 

"Please...shut up...I'm concentrating on not dying."

"Fair enough. I hope I've satisfied your curiosity."

"Wait. How do ponies...reproduce without the...equipment?"

"If I had to guess...kissing. Funny isn't it?"

"No, it isn't. So wait, does that mean the couple I spotted from the forest were actually..."

"In the throes of passionate lovemaking? I guess so."

"Jesus Christ."

"I think that would make you a voyeur."

"Gee, thanks."

"On a second thought, maybe not. I saw a couple kissing after a wedding ceremony at city hall."

"Oh thank God, so kissing isn't pony sex?"

"Hmm? No, it definitely is. One hole, remember? I think that reproduction is seen as a natural thing here, so voyeurism isn't a thing."

"Jeeesuuuus. So what, are babies super tiny? Or do you spit out eggs?"

"Nah, babies are about the size of my head. And ponies do give live birth. I saw Mrs. Cake do it at the hospital. Her jaw unhinged like a snake. There was a lot of blood and crying. Isn't the miracle of life beautiful?...Where are you going?"

"To find some bleach. I'll decide whether to drink it or drench my eyes in it on the way there."