//------------------------------// // ...A bit of tension... // Story: I don't belong here // by Clawder //------------------------------// Tension between friends is normal. Sometimes because you just don’t feel like talking to them, or because of an awkward situation ensues. There’s also the kind of tension that shows up when you and one of your friends are yelling at each other or fighting because of a romantic interest. Then, there’s the unique type of tension of being face to face with one of your closest friends and not being able to say a single word because you just might screw up things more than you already did. This was one of those situations. And it hadn’t really been Twilight’s fault. It had been Rarity’s detail-detecting skills that had given away the little secret. Although it shouldn’t be a big deal, both ponies stood still in their places. Twilight sat in her chair fidgeting nervously and Rarity lay on the couch massaging her temples with her hooves; trying to find a plausible excuse as to why and mainly how this… Thing… Became a thing. Regardless of how she looked at it, it felt wrong. And how could it not? If Spike was Twilight’s assistant, even the most minimal cuddle could be taken the wrong way. A subordinate hardly ever started a relationship with a boss since most ponies would think it was a conditioned relationship or because the subordinate could easily get promoted. Though Spike’s and Twilight’s relation wasn’t like that. They were more like a family; which didn’t help a bit, of course. They lived together! And alone! Rarity could bet nopony ever bothered to supervise them. And again, why would a pony supervise them in the first place? They were a pony and a dragon (which lately had stopped being an impediment, apparently). If Rarity had known they had been a couple, she would have at least stated her opinion on the matter. “Ehm… Rarity?” She didn’t even turned her head to look. “Can we-” “Shush,” Rarity cut her off with a distant tone “Just tell me one thing: How long were you two dating without us knowing?” “We weren’t dating! You’re overreacting.” “You weren’t dating?! So it was abuse of authority!” Twilight facehoofed “No, Rarity, it wasn’t.” “Well, you better explain this at once,” Rarity crossed her fetlocks and raised her chin. “I don’t have to explain myself! If anything, you should pretend you didn’t found out at all.” “How can you say that? Would you ignore somepony who is, or was doing in this case, something considered taboo? ” “I would, but I hardly see how this is the case.” Rarity rolled her eyes “Oh, please, will you ignore the obvious now? You two live together!” “Rarity, again, we were never in a relationship such as that.” “Then what was it about? I hope you have a very detailed and logical explanation.” Twilight groaned in annoyance “You know what? I’m a Princess, so I reserve the right to speak.” Rarity gasped “I never thought you would dare use that card, Twilight!” “Well, you’re not giving me much of a choice!” she replied. Rarity wanted to keep pressing for an answer, but it was clear that Twilight had the winning argument. Why did she want so desperately to find out about the story behind that kiss, though? It wasn’t envy; that much she was sure of. Was it because she considered it wrong? Most probably. After all, Spike was allowed to live with Twilight precisely because she was supposed to be responsible and conscious enough to take care of him without any incidents or situations that could be misunderstood such as this one. Then again, this Princess didn’t earn her title by cheating her way to the top; Twilight must have had a reason or perfectly valid excuse for this. Rarity was making connection after connection to see if she could find out anything else. Another clue or hint! But there was only one way to find out. Just then, she realized her stubborn behavior was only keeping the truth, and her friend, away. The unicorn sighted in defeat and a little shame “Sorry, Twilight.” At this, the other mare raised an eyebrow, remaining silent. “I was never in a position to demand anything from you,” she sat upright, a humble look in her eyes “I have to admit I'm very curious. As a friend, would you mind telling me how it happened?” Twilight smiled “How can I say no to a friend?” Rarity returned the gesture. Twilight re positioned herself to be more comfortable in her seat “I wouldn't say it was one of the best moments we've shared, but it was special in it's own, unique way.” Rarity leaned forward; as to hear the tale better. “It was some years ago. While you were on Canterlot to check on your boutique there. Spike didn't tell me everything that happened... Just enough to figure out the rest.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The sun was hidden behind the clouds on a soon-to-be rainy day. Although it would take time until it actually rained, at this rate it would feel like no time had passed at all. Spike sat lonely on a wooden bench, his ears folding downwards as a sign of his depression. He had been waiting for an hour already, but that was not the problem; thing is, he arrived to the meeting place two hours earlier, simply because he didn't have anything else to do. If he had known the weather ponies had rain scheduled for today, he would've made his appointment a few days after. But why was he depressed? In the worst of cases, he would invite her to a restaurant indoors or postpone the date for another day. No, it wasn't because of the date itself: It was because he knew nothing good could come out of it. Spike remembered Twilight's advice of trying to socialize with another mare. He remembered the question asked out of pressure instead of will. And he remembered the forced smile of the mare, as well as the equally forced 'Yes'. The whole date was a mistake, and he was too ashamed to admit it. Hopefully she would. After some time, the pony known as Shoeshine appeared in the distance. Spike could see her by glancing sideways, and it was all he really did; To prolong the encounter as much as he could. “Hello.” Spike jumped in fake surprise and finally looked at her, still sitting “Oh! you're here!” Fortunately for him, he didn't have to fake happiness, as it was actually pleasant to talk with Shoeshine. “Well, yes. I wasn't going to leave you here waiting,” she chuckled. Spike smiled. Shoeshine turned her head from side to side “So... Did you have something planned? I... Ehm... Hope it wasn't a picnic or anything because it looks like it's-” “-about to rain,” he finished her sentence. She nodded “Also it is getting kind of late.” Really? Spike didn't know much about dating, but he did know that a date could perfectly take place in late hours of the afternoon or at night. “Right...” Shoeshine allowed herself to sit beside Spike. “Should we just, call it off?” She grimaced “Is that a question or a suggestion?” Spike rubbed his right eye. There were no tears in it, but he could feel them coming “I'm sorry I dragged you here.” Shoeshine bit her lip, unsure of what to do. She scooted closer to the dragon and hugged him “Don't say that. I know you probably think this was a mistake but it's the only way there is to find your special somepony: Trial and error. I learned my fair share of love that way.” “But you're a pony! Whatever difficulties you faced before are a thousand times easier for you to handle!” he pushed her away gently “I'm staring to think I'm not supposed to be attracted to anypony because nopony is nor ever was attracted to me.” “Don't say that, Spike. Maybe you have it a thousand times as difficult, but it's still not impossible!” “Gee, thank you.” “I mean it, though! I'm very sorry you haven't been able to connect with a significant other but you mustn't give up.” “Yeah well, whatever. I'm pretty sure I'm not going anywhere, so I guess the only thing I can do is keep trying or accept my fate.” “There's no such thing as 'accepting your fate', that's giving up!” “It's still the only two options I have,” Spike got up and started walking down the road to Ponyville “Let's just go back and pretend this didn't happen, alright?” “Hey, we could still go to some place and get something to eat. What do you say?” She said as she got up and trotted beside Spike. “Sound good to me,” he agreed “It will also give me an excuse to not explain myself to Twilight.” “You don't have to lie about this...” “Maybe, but I'm not in the mood. Besides, you don't know how motherly she gets when I'm depressed.” “Then let's cheer you up! I know a place where they sell the very best hay cookies in Equestria!” They were about to arrive to said place when it started raining. Since there were no cookies to be bought, they decided to enjoy the moment by splashing nearby puddles of water and simply facing the sky to feel the falling drops. It felt nice to play like that once in a while. But in the end, it was just goofing around. And far from a date. Spike arrived to the castle late at night, unaware of the time. He was wondering if Twilight was already asleep or if she would be waiting for him to get back. Either way, sooner or later he would tell her what happened. Be it the moment he entered the castle or the next morning. Sure enough, when he opened the gates, he heard the sound of hooves galloping through the halls coming his way. Spike closed the entrance behind him and shook a little. “There you are!” Twilight called “You took longer than I expected but it's fine! I wasn't worried anyways, why would I be? You're a completely independent and capable young dragon with a perfectly independent and capable mind!” she was closing the distance between them with each word. Not with a fast pace, but with notorious hurry. “Uh.. Huh?” Spike shrugged. Twilight's horn lit and Spike was soon engulfed in her aura. He floated towards her and knowingly opened his arms with a grin and roll of eyes. Scales didn't hold even nearly as much water as fur did, so Twilight didn't flinch when they hugged. “So how was your date? You don't have to tell me everything, just what you feel like sharing! Unless you don't want to share anything in which case I'll have to ask for you to open up a little.” “Twilight.” “Yes!” she beamed. “You're kind of rambling right now.” She blushed slightly “Oh, haha, sorry,” she cleared her throat and put Spike down “How'd it go?” “We had fun... But it wasn't a date. I mean, it didn't feel like one.” Twilight inclined her head to the side “How so?” “We had a nice time... Just like when we hang out with the others. That pretty much describes it.” Twilight lifted Spike again and put him on her back “Give it time, Spike,” she turned around and walked back to the rooms “It is meant to start that way. Take things slow.” “We're not going out again. At least not in date fashion.” Twilight paused for a second before resuming her steps “Why not? Did something go wrong?” “Oh, something went wrong alright, just not in the 'date'. Thing is, Twilight, I didn't want to go out with Shoeshine in the first place.” “Really?” she asked with disappointment. “Yeah.” “Then, why did you ask her out in the first place?” Spike remained silent for a moment, resting is head on Twilight's mane “I guess it was just to please you.” Twilight lowered her head and ears at that. By then, they were already in Spike's room. They entered and Spike hopped from Twilight to his bed, while the princess lit a candle to dispel some of the darkness. “Thanks for the ride. I guess.” Twilight stayed beside him, hesitant to leave. She watched him accommodate the mattresses and fluff his pillow. He didn't seem to mind her presence or the fact that she was just standing there “Spike...” Spike coughed. Or at least, it seemed like a cough. The dragon was sobbing silently, unable to face his friend. “I don't like seeing you like t-this,” she tried to fight her own sadness. She could stand any friendship problem and the pressure of every task, but it broke her heart when she couldn't help Spike. “I'll deal with it.” “But I don't want to!” she said a little too loud, earning a jump from Spike “I didn't want you to obsess over Rarity like you did! That's why I wanted you to try a date with another pony, but what's it going to take?! If it's not about her, what can I do?!” “Nothing! It's not your fault!” he threw the pillow angrily “Neither is Rarity's or anypony else's,” he relaxed his shoulders and sighed “It's my fault for loving you all. It's my fault for preferring the company of ponies,” he looked into her eyes “I could never blame a pony for not liking me. Because that's what I chose the moment I decided to live among you.” Twilight cried right after his last word, collapsing and covering her eyes with her hooves. Yet Spike wasn't done. “I know I'll probably never find that kind of love, but the love I already have will keep me going,” he jumped out of the bed and caressed Twilight's mane “So what if I'm not attractive to ponies? I like how I look,” he poked Twilight with his elbow “And I'm pretty sure you don't think I'm ugly, do you?” The alicorn exhaled a small laugh “Of course not,” she sat upright and wiped her tears “I may not be a dragon myself, but I know you're attractive.” “Pfft, sure, how?” “Maybe because I've lived with you since I was a filly? You were able to tell Rarity was 'beautiful' because you've spent enough time around ponies.” “True, but you don't have other dragons to compare me with.” “Actually, I have a few...” “Oh, come on. They don't count.” Spike replied. “What I'm trying to get at, is that if you spend enough time with a pony you like, that pony will start liking you back.” Spike reclined to Twilight's side “I dunno, Twi. The one pony I've always liked doesn't seem to go by that rule.” “She is Rarity. You have to admit you picked a hard target.” “True that,” he raised his claw as if holding a glass of wine. They shared a laugh in the room, laying on the floor for a few minutes after their chat ended. Even though the problem was solved for that day, Twilight couldn't keep her smile for long; As she knew time would bring the sorrow back again and again. “Spike,” she whispered to check if he was still awake. “Hmm?” At the affirmative, she wrapped her hooves around him “You're very young. Don't let anything make you forget the fact that you have a lifetime ahead of you. And a pretty big lifetime at that.” “I don't know if I want a big lifetime. I'd rather have a short one around those I love... And around a special someone. Someone who loves me as much as I do all my friends,” he held Twilight's hooves with his claws “Someone who loves me as much as you do.” Twilight's heart skipped a beat, but not for the reasons she thought. “W-what do you mean?” Spike's eyes widened. He quickly let go of her “I-I didn't mean anything romantic by that, serious.” “I know, I know,” I think I know. She thought “We should probably get some sleep now.” Spike was blushing out of shame “Yeah, I'm a little exhausted. S-sorry I gave you a bad impression. Way to ruin the moment, uh?” Twilight watched him apologize, thinking she also should, for taking it that way. “I always manage to mess up when it comes to this. Stupid me.” “Don't call yourself that. Ever.” Her tone was difficult to read “O...k?” Spike seriously didn't know if she was upset again “Listen, I'm not going to bother anymore, so I guess it's good n-” He felt a hoof on his cheek, moving him to gaze directly into Twilight's eyes “I may not know a thing about how an attractive dragon should look like,” she lowered her hoof “You're the only dragon I know completely. And I don't need to get to meet others to know you're the most kind, intelligent and loyal of them all.” Spike's eyes gleamed after the compliment “Twilight...” “Whenever you feel alone or unwanted. Keep in mind there's always going to be one pony who'll always love you,” she touched his nose with her own, gently nuzzling. Spike took a step forward, raising his claws as he always did to hug her. Only this time, he aimed for her head. Twilight realized this, and for some reason, she didn't mind. She also moved forward, closing her eyes. And then, their lips met in a quick kiss that lasted half a second. “That... That was-” “It's also mine, no playing the victim here,” she predicted his next line. Spike turned away, connecting his forefingers. Twilight could only lose herself in thought “I,” she blew out the candle with her magic “We should rest now,” she lifted Spike to his bed without waiting for his response. She then got out of the room and rushed to her own. Was that a mistake? Would that only make things worse? Did she really like Spike? That night, she had a lot to ponder. And didn't even try to sleep. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The morning after that, we came to the conclusion it had only been the factors of that night put together, and that we shouldn't date or look for something else, for the sake of our relationship.” Rarity took the seventh handkerchief soaked with her tears and tossed it in a small pile where the others were. She then compressed them in a small ball and threw them on a trashcan that Twilight could swear wasn't there a few seconds ago. Her magic free form the papers, she grasped the tea table with it and got up from the couch where she was. “Rarity?” Said unicorn started walking out of the place, taking the table with her. “Rarity, where are you going with that?” “I'm going to pay miss Shoeshine a visit.” “Whoa! Hold on! She didn't do anything wrong!” “Oh, she totally did! She rejected Spike without even giving him a chance!” “But-” “Got you covered, darling. I'm also going to punch myself later.” Twilight teleported the table back to its original spot “You're not hitting anypony with anything, Rarity! The best you could do is to start anew with Spike. Showing him you are a friend who now understands how he feels.” Rarity's head hung low. She patted the floor to distract herself. “Punishing yourself or other ponies won't make you feel better,” then she swallowed “Besides, if you were thinking about hitting Shoeshine with a table I can't imagine what you were planning to do to me.” “Why, Twilight, right now I could take a golden mallet and swing it at any mare in the world except you.” “Huh?” Rarity raised her head and took calm steps towards Twilight “You weren't able to help Spike the way you wanted and you did made a mistake by setting dates for him. But you were the beacon of light that's guided him all this years. Whenever a mare... Or I rejected him, you were the only pony there. You can't imagine how grateful I am for that.” “Aww, thank you, Rarity. It means a lot to me.” “Although you did certainly messed up by kissing him. That must've been very confusing for him.” Twilight rolled her eyes “Yeah, noted.” Rarity then grinned wildly and wrapped a hoof around Twilight “Now let's go! We have to get the others and prepare a great 'welcome back' party for our friend!” she galloped out practically dragging Twilight along. The princess couldn't do much about it other than follow her pace as best as she could and complaining every now and then. When Rarity let her go, Twilight had to massage her neck for a minute. Nevertheless she smiled, knowing the toughest part of this episode in her life, was already over. When Spike got back, it would only be laughter again...