I was stunned, staring at the statues of the Hall, as the weight of my consciousness suddenly crashed in on me. Like waking up for the first time in years, I suddenly felt very small, very lost, and very alone.
Where has all of the time gone? How many years have gone by, while I've been distracted? What about my dreams, the things I wanted to do?
My breath hitched as I suddenly put my life into context. My dreams of peaceful coexistence, and the despicable invasion I had led; my rebellious stance towards the Queen, and how I had come to succeed her; the honest friendships of my youth, and the deceitful manipulations of my adulthood.
Iqqel! She grew up while I was too distracted being a Queen to notice…
I tried to shake these thoughts from my mind, but they only grew in intensity. Somehow, the immediate situation seemed so distant, so unimportant; the need to no longer be distracted by one crisis after another overwhelmed me, for a time. Snapping back to reality, I shook myself free of my reverie and straightened myself, looking across the animated statues – all of the former Queens of the Hive Chrysalis – and tried to focus.
I've made a lot of mistakes. I'm not what I thought I would be… but I have to keep looking forward. I have to take care of this, now – I can focus on the rest afterward.
“… One of you has been tampering with my mind, trying to influence my reign as Queen.”
A series of murmurs went up from the statues, who looked at each other in alarm.
“You've been able to control me so far – but no more. I'm going to find out which of you is responsible, and I'll-”
“Wait.”
I jerked in surprise. It was my immediate predecessor – my 'mother' – who had spoken. She looked at me in alarm, continuing.
“Are you absolutely certain about that?”
“Yes. It's only my projection of all of you into the Hall that has freed me – so I cannot leave until I figure out which of you it is.”
“If you're certain that one of us has been doing that… then you have to destroy the statues. All of them.”
I reeled at that suggestion. The other Queens reacted with a series of cries of alarm.
Destroy them all?! The collected memories of the Queens?! But that would mean losing the most important part of our history – the original sources themselves! Why would she…?
I could only look at her in confusion and shock.
“Why?”
“We're only imprints. We shouldn't even be close to capable of controlling an active Queen… and if we are, how many of us must have been manipulated in the past, to keep the rest of us unaware that this was possible?”
I boggled at the implications of her statement. She was right; if someone held that power, they could easily have manipulated things to hide it… and worse yet, there wouldn't be any way to tell which imprint was responsible.
“Even if I could figure out which of you was the culprit… every Queen holds an imprint of the past Queen, and so on until the first Queen of the hive. I had thought that I could try to separate the one responsible...”
She shook her head sadly, as the other statues mirrored my horror in realization.
“Because they felt like a distinct personality in your mind… but it's just not that simple. If anything threatens your sovereignty as Queen, you must eliminate it.”
The statues murmured their agreement. I looked around the hall to see a series of grim, determined expressions, and my horror grew. I had expected resistance and resentment – not quiet acquiescence.
“But… if I were to do that, I'd be alone. The hive would have lost the collective memory of its past leaders – its true guide. Why would you-”
“There's no time for that. You can't maintain the projection forever. Just… before you do it, I wanted to ask you something.”
She met my eyes with sadness. Things had suddenly become far too real for me.
“What – what is it?”
“You never did have any respect for authority or reverence for tradition...”
I shook my head in confusion.
She's bringing this up now?!
“So why did you seek my approval? Why did you always seem to care what I thought?”
“… Because… because you were my family. You were the closest I had, anyway, aside from my close friends – and that's different. I chose my friends, but you… you were always there. I think, maybe because I didn't care about your position or authority… I saw you more as a mother and less as a Queen.”
She smiled softly.
“I tried to act as a mother to all, but I still felt like a ruler to most of my subjects. I think the real reason I may have made you my successor was that… you felt more like a daughter to me.”
She gently reached out and touched a hoof to mine; I had walked closer to her statue without realizing it.
“Thank you, Cecily. I love you.”
I could only stare in silence. I finally settled on nodding to her, and she smiled again.
“Now do it. Take back control of yourself and your hive, and lead our people the way they deserve.”
I weakly nodded. After a few seconds' hesitation, and feeling the weight of the projection spell on my mind, I finally cast the spell – a simple disenchantment, more symbolic than powerful, but the Hall interpreted and augmented the command. I watched as the statues all fell apart, including hers, her smile still visible until the final moments.
What have I done?!
I found myself backing up rapidly, wracked with anguish. I knew that they were only imprints, but they were still a massive an important part of the hive, and my only connection to my forebears – and to my mother.
I can't believe that just happened… what will I do?! What will I tell everyone?!
Chrysalis turned to leave, wracked with guilt at what she'd done.
Wait. I'm… I'm not Chrysalis. I'm Cecily.
I backed away from the door, now feeling like a panicked animal.
Why… why am I not better?! Why do I still have this strange voice in my head?! Am I insane? Did I simply lose my mind? Keep it together, Cecily! You're better than this! Focus! You know this is a foreign influence – now extract it!
I focused, pulling my will and my mind together, and weaving the complex spell together. I formed a projection of the influence, and expelled it, giving it a physical form. I stared in revulsion as the form of a creature like a changeling, or a pony, took shape; broad wings, bones held together by a thin, transparent membrane, with patches of feathers hanging off of them irregularly; a horn, but gnarled, with a broken tip; a thin, dark-blue fur coat, missing entirely in patches, accented by a tattered green-blue mane; and on its flanks, crescent-shaped patches of missing fur, revealing the white skin underneath.
But most disturbing were the two sickly, green flames where its eyes should have been.
What is this twisted creature?!
It looked around, blinking a few times in confusion before focusing on me, spreading its face into a horrible grin of yellowed, broken teeth, with two distinctive changeling fangs gleaming at me.
“Well, now. You've summoned My presence to the Hall, now. Aren't you the determined one? Of course, you should know that you've been very foolish; I would have let you live out your petty existence, despite all of the trouble you've caused, if you hadn't gone so far.”
“So it was you. Who are you?”
Chrysalis recoiled as the specter simply laughed at her. She was wracked with guilt at the realization that she had eliminated the imprints of the former Queens for no reason; she knew she should stop herself before she caused any further damage. She began to charge a spell to eliminate herself, to bring an end to this madness.
I'm NOT Chrysalis! This won't work on me any more!
I dispersed the spell in my horn and leveled an acrid glare at the specter, which simply laughed again, before composing itself and staring back at with me with that sickening grin again, speaking in its deep, melodic voice.
“You're so much more persistent than the others. The last time this happened, it was so easy to deal with.”
I found my mind racing over the history of the hive.
“The third Queen. She wasn't killed in a scouting accident, you killed her!”
The specter smirked at me.
“Well, naturally. She was insubordinate, and an insubordinate servant is worse than useless.”
“I am no one's servant! I am the Queen of this hive, and unless I miss my guess, that makes you one of my subjects!”
The specter rolled its eyes – a much more disturbing gesture than it would have been for a normal creature – and clicked its tongue at me in condescending disapproval.
“If you are the Queen of the changelings, then I am their Goddess.”
I found myself rapidly piecing together what this creature's existence meant for the history of the hive.
“You've been manipulating us since the beginning. Why?! For what purpose have you tried to… to enslave us?!”
“Oh, you're less quick on the uptake than I'd hoped. I didn't enslave the changelings, I created them.”
“Oh, I figured that, but it's irrelevant; you brought an intelligent race into being only to use them as tools?!”
“Intelligent? Changelings weren't intelligent when I created them – they were bugs, worker-drones. It was troublesome when they started thinking for themselves – though their love for each other made an excellent source of power.”
I started, staring in horror.
This monstrosity has been feeding on the hive?!
“Then… the castes. They're just attempts to… to customize nymphs for particular tasks.”
“The Soldiers were first. I think I made a mistake in delegating Feeding, though – that seems to be where this aggravating sense of self-awareness started.”
“So you fed on the love of ponies – despite being a pony yourself. You really were the original changeling… and by that mark on your flank, I can guess which pony you tried to take the place of.”
The specter chuckled at that, its grin turning sardonic.
“Celestia would have done anything to have her sister back. I was just giving her what she wanted.”
I felt my lips and snout curl into a disgusted snarl.
She's insane. I need to find a way to get this monster out of my mind!
“You resented them for casting you out after that? That's why you hate ponies?!”
The specter drew up to its full height, spreading its wings to their full expanse. It snarled in hatred, though it looked grotesquely smile-like on its ghastly face.
“You have it backwards; I already hated them. I did it to spite her, one who thought she was above me, who would live forever and watch me fall to old age – no one is above me!”
With its wings spread out like that, I got a good look at the specter, which resembled nothing so much as a sick parody of an alicorn; the crude wings were attached at different angles to its torso, and I realized they were slightly different sizes.
She wanted Celestia's power – to be an alicorn. She hates Celestia for how it turned out; that's why Celestia always brought out the worst impulses in me.
“So… all of it. The castes, the hive, the Ceremony of Names, it's all just control mechanisms so you could keep enslaving us, so you could spite-”
“I've bantered with you enough. You're more interesting than the others, but no less foolish for confronting me. As the Queen of the hive, your job is to enact My will, destroy Mine enemies – and you've failed.”
I immediately felt a horrendous pressure build up behind my eyes, like my head was going to explode. I felt the projection spell weakening, and a strange sensation – like falling asleep, but more subconscious – taking hold. I struggled to keep my tearing eyes open despite the pain, my legs wobbling as I tried to glare at her, my mind racing.
She's trying to put me under a more permanent control – I have to stop her, but how?!
“Trying to… control me with brute force? Nothing speaks of a failure to manipulate… quite like that.”
I found myself panting and short of breath, even from that small exertion. The specter snorted, its horn glowing a sickly green.
“I've no need for tact where you're concerned. You're an insect – no, even less, a shell – for My will.”
She wouldn't have bothered to manipulate Queens for so long if that were the case. WHY did she do it? How do I get rid of her?! I got rid of all of the imprints of the former Queens, my mind should be clear! She can't exist in every changeling, it could only be the Queens, but I've eliminated everything that was imparted to me at my Ceremony!
The realization hit me, and an acrid taste filled my mouth as I realized what I had to do. I began to charge a spell in my horn.
“You must have encountered others who were willing to die to stop you. At least the third Queen. That's really how she died, isn't it?”
Now I understand. It all makes sense; that's why changelings feed on others, why their love for each other isn't enough.
The specter stared at me, the tug-of-war between our horns continuing for a few more seconds before it released its hold on me, a smirk forming.
“She felt My control taking hold, and she panicked. Insubordinate to the end, and her death cost Me decades of planning. You're very clever to realize it, but it doesn't matter – even if you destroy yourself, the treaty you've made with the ponies means that next time, I will be in the perfect place to strike. Oh, the hive will need some house-cleaning – starting with that ugly half-breed 'sister' of yours – but you've done quite well for me in the long run.”
This must be why changelings leave imprints, why the ritual of Last Rites exists. It's all to ensure that her control can be passed down at the Ceremony, even if the previous Queen dies. She just swaps out with another nymph, taking away their chance at a name for themselves… and she marks them.
“There won't be a next time for you.”
That mark must be the key.
The specter looked at me quizzically, amused.
“Oh? How do you figure that?”
I'll put an end to it here.
“Because I'm willing to give up anything for my subjects. My life, certainly – but also, more specifically...”
Her reaction will confirm my theory...
The specter looked confused for a second, before horrified realization dawned on it as I concluded my statement.
“… my eyes.”
The specter barely had time to release a shriek and light up its horn again before I released my spell; a targeted love-dispersal spell, made to keep Chiri from accidentally intoxicating my subjects, unlike any magic the hive had ever had need of before, targeted at my own eyes. I had just enough time to consider the irony of it all – a society of deceivers, deceived, manipulators manipulated, parasites fed upon – before my vision faded, all of the light in the world seeming to fall away to a pinpoint and wink out.
With that one spell, I had eliminated the only other thing imparted to me at my Ceremony of Names; the distinctive, pony-like eyes of the Queen. The mechanism, I had realized, by which the Queens had been controlled, and the focal point for all of the love of the hive.
My cheek feels cold. I think… I must be lying down. I'm so tired…
I lay there for some time, my mind wandering, unable to control my thoughts, as though on the edge of sleep. I knew that if I let myself rest, I wouldn't get back up – but it was impossible to focus for more than a second on anything. My thoughts wandered to Chiri, Twilight and Celestia; I wondered if they could take care of the hive without me. In the back of my mind, I fretted about the damage I had done; my subjects would no longer be able to access the memories of the hive's past, and without me, no new nymphs would be born. I felt terrible about it, but I felt I could trust the others to take care of the hive without me; the changelings living now would be happy, even if there wouldn't be future generations. I thought of the nymphs in Whitefall, and decided that had to be enough.
I felt at peace with that. I felt the stress and panic leaving me, replaced with a soothing coolness, smiling gently. Just as I started to drift off, my mind wandered to someone else.
What about Iqqel?
My eyes snapped open – a useless gesture, I thought, but I saw something; a faint blue glow in the distance. It was almost too faint to see, like a patch of shimmering fog in the darkness, but I felt compelled to go towards it. I feebly tried to move my legs, but all I got for my trouble were a few twitches. I had to scoff in embarrassment, unable to even walk a few feet. To my surprise, the glow brightened, until it was bright as a luminite lantern shining right at me, and formed glowing blue streamers in the air above me. I watched them for some time, entranced by the beauty of the spectacle, before I realized I was upright – moving, even. I couldn't feel my limbs, but I could faintly feel the air on my face as I moved.
I heard a low rumbling sound, as some kind of gate opened for me, and I felt myself move again. The blue glow intensified, glowing white at its center, and I drew closer to it, feeling a soothing wave of warmth run through me, growing stronger as I grew closer. For a second, I worried I might be burned if I got too close, but I must have accelerated because suddenly the light was upon me. Warmth and feeling began to return to me, and sound started to fade in – when had I lost that faculty? – as I blinked and looked around in a haze, lost in a field of blue.
“Cecily! Cecily, what happened?! I heard a scream, are you okay?!”
That's Iqqel. She seems worried… but she always worries a lot.
I chuckled weakly.
“It's fine, Iqqel. Just have… er, hrm?”
I lost my train of thought. That's embarassing – good thing it's just Iqqel. I can always slip up around her – she doesn't mind.
“What?! Just have what?! Speak to me!”
“Oh, uh… just have Celestia and Chiri take care of things. It should be fine. Don't worry.”
“What… what are you talking about?! Have them take care of what?! You want me to take you to them?”
“Huh? No, no, not me, the hive. Let them take care of it, things will be fine.”
Iqqel can be silly when she's worried.
“So… so you mean you're…?”
I felt something cold hit my cheek, which made me groan and paw at it. I wasn't very coordinated, and I found my own grogginess somewhat amusing. Something amusing occurred to me.
“Hey… Iqqel?”
“… Y-yes?”
“You called me Cecily.”
I snorted in amusement.
“Oh… I'm… sorry?”
I giggled at her.
“No, no, that's good. I finally had my Ceremony of Names, get it? Went into the Hall, came out Cecily. Took me long enough, right?"
Iqqel didn't say anything in response, so I decided to just go through with my silly idea.
“So it's finally time for this...”
“Time for what…?”
I reached out with my magic for my violins, and began playing simple, deep tune. I heard Iqqel gasp in response.
She's seen me do it so many times, you would think she'd be used to it.
I shrugged that off and cleared my throat, singing.
~
What now?
What now?
What should I do now?
It's a new day, and I'll find my destiny!
The name's Cecily, I'll lead the way!
I made my journey
Filled with uncertainty
Fear and hope inside me warred
But that's over now, there's no room for doubt anymore!
Peace and hope will be my creations
I'm finally so relieved
For with this final transformation
Those dreams can be achieved!
~
What will the others say? I do not know~
Perhaps that I should leave, that I don't belong
But this is my home~
And I still believe, I'll show them to get along!
~
I subconsciously cracked a smile as I let the music fade.
“You know how the rest goes. I finally remembered how the original was supposed to go.”
Iqqel was quiet, but I felt a pat on my head. I realized she must have been holding me, which seemed a little embarrassing, but I didn't mind. I stared up at the lights some more, as the streamers seemed to become more erratic, little streaks of red, white and purple mixed in with the blue light.
“Oh, Iqqel. Can you see that? It's so beautiful.”
I feebly waved my hoof at the lights, and heard a sniffle come from her.
“Huh? Iqqel, are you crying?”
“Cecily, are you… blind?”
I looked towards her voice, seeing a cascade of light. Peering into it, I realized that the light faintly took the form of her face – and I realized that she had been the source of the light all along.
“I think that… now, for the first time, I can see what really matters.”
~FIN