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// Capter 1 Heartache 
// Story: Friends and Family 
// by Zephyr Spark 
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	The purple alicorn trotted with her number one assistant to Sugar Cube Corner. In some ways, they were an odd sight. An alicorn living in the middle of Ponyville with a purple baby dragon seemed out of place considering the small number of alicorns and the obvious danger dragons typically posed, but any who knew the two, Twilight Sparkle and Spike, also knew how much they belonged together as friends, confidants, and family. Of course, the family part was not literal mother and son or brother and sister, though their relationship could certainly delve into both. The most crucial part of it all: Twilight loved Spike and Spike loved her. 
Today, they had plans to visit the Two Sister’s Ancient Castle. Twilight wanted to examine the vast catalogue of books within and Spike readily agreed to help her, bringing along a bag stuffed with quills, ink, and parchment to create detailed accounts of the various works. Twilight loved her detailed accounts. Their friends had agreed to meet up with them at Sugar Cube Corner and head there together as a group.
They reached the door and were met with a familiar smiling pony.
“Hiya, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie grinned with a strange list in her hoof as she saw them coming, “Dashie and the others aren’t here yet.”
Twilight and Spike glanced at the list and Pinkie quickly explained, “I’ve been researching more of my family history. Turns out there are Pies almost everywhere in Equestria!”
Twilight shuddered a bit at the though of more than one Pinkie Pie … again. She showed them the list and continued, “There’s a Berry Pie in Manehatten, an Apple Pie in Canterlot, and –“
“Who’s ‘Minty’?” Spike asked eying a smudged out name on the list.
Pinkie stopped smiling for a minute and her mane drooped a bit. She quickly retracted the list and spoke, “Nobody! Err I mean no pony! She’s just a… um… she sort of ran away a while ago. We don’t like to talk about her.” 
Spike decided not to press the issue although the name sounded familiar. “That’s quite a family.” He said trying to smile. He felt a bit uncomfortable thinking about Pinkie Pie having a relative she didn’t want to speak about, and a bit more uncomfortable talking about family.
“I know,” Pinkie said as she reflated, “Some day, I hope I can meet them all.”
“Howdy!” Applejack’s voice interrupted them as their friend trotted up to greet them. “Sorry, I’m late. Applebloom needed a little encouraging getting out of bed. Plus, Granny Smith and Big Mac wanted help collecting a few apples for brunch.”
“That’s fine,” Twilight smiled, “We’re just waiting for –“
Suddenly, a familiar blue pegasus descended from the clouds to a perfect landing a few feet away. Twilight rolled her eyes at Rainbow Dash’s excessive showmanship. Another similar looking blue pegasus joined her and after a bit of panting gave a beaming smile.
“Oh, my little girl, you’ve gotten so fast, I can barely keep up.”
“Sorry, pops,” Rainbow grinned and turned to gesture at her friends. “Hey, these are my friends. This is Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Spike.”
The other blue stallion walked up to them and politely bowed his head, “Rainbow has told me and her mother so much about you all. How you saved Equestria time and time again. I can’t thank you enough.”
“It was nothing really,” Twilight said quickly, feeling abashed by such praise.
“Well, you’ll have to pardon me.” He smiled wrapping an affectionate hoof around Rainbow Dash, “I just came by to visit my little Dashie.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened at the nickname and she became flustered. Twilight raised an amused eyebrow while Pinkie Pie and Applejack snickered a bit.
“Dad!” Rainbow groaned, “Not in front of my friends.”
Her father just smiled and playfully ruffled her mane, “I’m sorry, kiddo. I guess it just fills me with pride to see how far my little girl has come. You’re not the little filly I used to chase around the house. You’re a real hero.”
Rainbow looked at her father with an uncharacteristic look of embarrassment, and then let out a brilliant grin. Spike watched this exchange with a wistful smile. For some reason, this was all becoming too much for him.
“Hey, Twilight?” Spike tugged at his friend’s hoof.
Twilight looked over to Spike with a familiar smile, “What is it, Spike?”
Spike opened his mouth to speak but found his throat a bit sore. “I think I’m going to go ahead to the library to get a head start.”
Twilight noticed Spike’s falter and tilted her head with a curious face.
“I’m fine, really,” Spike tried to reassure her. 
Twilight was not convinced, especially considering Spike seemed so quick to say he felt fine, but decided she could always talk to Spike later and nodded, “I think it’s a great idea. We’ll meet up with you once we’re altogether
Spike waved goodbye and headed off to the castle. When he was out of eyesight, he began to ponder his feelings. Why had he felt so uncomfortable around his friends today? They were just talking about their families. They all had families; distant relatives, sisters, brothers, grandmothers, fathers, mothers. This was nothing new.
Spike turned to wave a greeting to a certain cross-eyed gray pegasus, who after returning his hello turned to a small unicorn filly. They touched noses with gentle smiles. Spike found himself smiling at the sight. He turned back to the road after adjusting his bag. 
He remembered how Rainbow Dash and her father shared a similar moment and found himself wondering. If her father had been his, would he have praised Spike for agreeing to help his friend Twilight today? Would he have tenderly reflected on their time together from when he was growing up? Then again, Spike supposed he was still technically a baby, so he would still be in the whole ‘growing up’ thing. Still, it would be nice for his father to come visit him just to say hello.
Spike almost tripped at the thought, his father. Then he found himself daydreaming. Wouldn’t his father be a big, mean dragon? Well, maybe not. After all, if he was related to Spike, who was for the most part a good dragon – alright, who tried to be a good dragon, he couldn’t be all bad. Maybe, he would take Spike out every now and then and show him how to breathe intense flames, find the tastiest gems, or even how to fly. At the end of the day, he would look at Spike with a grin and be proud to see what a fine young dragon his son was becoming. Wouldn’t that be something?
And who would marry such a kind-hearted dragon? Spike thought about it and decided he would be married to a similarly kind dragon. She would be beautiful and kind, tenderly nursing him and singing him to sleep every night. She would dote upon him even when it embarrassed him, but in the end, he really wouldn’t mind because she was his mother. 
But what if she wasn’t just his mother? Perhaps there would be other dragon siblings for Spike to play with. After further reflection, he decided he would have an older sister. She would be goofy and often pull pranks on Spike, but whenever he needed a friend, she would always be there for him. And if anything tried to hurt him, she would defend him fiercely. She would tickle him, make him laugh, and whisper words of comfort whenever he was scared.
Why stop there, he thought? Maybe there would be a brother, one younger than him. They would play-fight as dear siblings and share adventures together. Spike would teach him right from wrong and he would admire Spike because he was his brother.
He thought of endless relatives, uncles, aunts, cousins, all just as wonderful as his own family. His thoughts were interrupted as he bumped into a door. He looked up and realized he was at the castle. His imagined family was just that: imagined. Spike felt so empty and sad at the loss of the mere thought of his family. He shook his head and decided throwing himself into his task would help him forget his worries.
He entered the castle and made his way to the library. Placing his bag on the floor, he drew out a pen and paper and prepared to record the closest aisle of books. He soon found, however, his heart wasn’t in it. He sighed, grabbing another piece of parchment, and sat down on the floor, finding himself unable to focus on his task.
In a flash of inspiration, he grabbed a bottle of ink and a quill and drew the family he had fantasized over before they could vanish from his thoughts like a dream. They weren’t exactly perfect, but that was due to Spike’s impatience to preserve them if only in memory. Feeling a renewed interest, he took another piece of parchment and took the time to draw them in more detail, giving them all names and different faces. They looked wonderful, but Spike could do better. He took out several more pieces of parchment and continued refining and expanding his ideal family. 
After half an hour, Spike remembered why he came here and quickly scolded himself. He should be working, not wasting parchment and ink. What would Twilight even say if she saw that he wasn’t making the head start he promised? He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her. He was here to help Twilight not fantasize about a family that he made up. 
A family that doesn’t exist Spike corrected himself. I mean if they did exist, they wouldn’t have left me alone as an egg. Would they? Spike blinked as he paused to consider the thought. Dragons were never exactly known for being kind. For all I know, they abandoned me. Maybe they never wanted me.
Spike tried to stop himself from contemplating such notions. No, I don’t know that. All I know is that I was found and given to Twilight after she hatched me. No pony knows anything about where I came from or who I am. No pony knows. No pony.
He frowned and felt an uncomfortable, constricting tension in his throat and burning water in his eyes. Before he allowed his pain to take over, he threw himself back into his task anxious to forget his desperation for answers, for family.

***

Well, it certainly took time, but Rarity and Fluttershy finally showed up. Rarity explained that Sweetie Belle had a bit of a fever and could not attend school today, so she had to notify her teacher, tuck her in bed, call a doctor, and ask a friend to watch her. All while finishing a last minute order from one of her clients. Simply a disastrous morning! When asked what kept her, Fluttershy mumbled something about Angel Bunny and her friends decided not to pursue the matter. 
They walked to the castle and shared some discussions but Twilight found herself too concerned about Spike to join in any conversation. He had seemed rather distant this morning and she suspected there was something bothering him. Was it something she said? Something she did? She recalled confiscating one of his comic books last night but only when he refused to stop reading and go to sleep. Even then, she returned the book the very next morning. She didn’t recall saying anything that could have logically hurt his feelings that morning, but then again maybe it was something she didn't say–.
“Hey Twilight! Why are you being such a frowny-mc-sad-face?” Pinkie asked interrupting Twilight’s brooding and making her jump in surprise.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Pinkie,” she said regaining her composure, “I was just thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Pinkie said keeping a straight face as the other ponies grinned and chuckled. Twilight had once considered Pinkie to be a bit scatter-brained and, well, not always the brightest pony, but she had to admit Pinkie could be an incredibly clever and witty trickster. She was just grateful Pinkie was simply an earth pony, if given magical powers or flight; well, Twilight nearly stumbled at the thought.
“I was just thinking about Spike,” Twilight continued reflecting on his attitude, “He seemed a little off today.”
“What do you mean?” Rarity asked with piqued interest and the concern of any good friend, “is he unwell like Sweetie Belle?”
Twilight considered the thought but quickly dismissed it, “No, he didn’t seem sick or even unwell. He just seemed, I don’t know,” she searched for the proper word.
“Uncomfortable,” Applejack chimed in, “like something was bothering him.”
Twilight glanced at the orange earth pony and nodded. That was exactly what she was thinking. Rainbow Dash, flying overhead, let out an exasperated sigh, “I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing. He was probably just weirded out seeing my dad being all cuddly, or something. I’m sure the little guy’s fine.”
Twilight was not convinced in the slightest, nor did she appreciate Rainbow trying to dismiss the whole issue. “I’m going to talk to him. Just to make sure.”
They arrived at the castle and crossed through the large doors. Rainbow Dash and Applejack both recalled when they dared each other to stay in the castle and reflected how the castle was slightly less scary at day. Carefully avoiding any traps they remembered from their first visit, the group ascended several flights of stairs to reach the library. 
They stopped short when they heard heavy panting and the sound of paper crunching and crinkling. Twilight motioned for the group to stop and peered through the door. She saw parchment thrown about the floor and Spike hard at work, a little too hard at work. His actions looked pained and even strained. She was instantly worried and opened the door to trod over to her friend.
“Spike?” She gently spoke to avoid alarming him.
Spike stopped for a moment. He just stopped doing anything and stood still like a motionless statue. Eventually, he lifted a free hand in a manner of greeting without turning back to look at her and continued about his work. Twilight glanced back at her friends peering through the doorway and gave them a confused look. Rarity entered next carefully stepping around the discarded papers covering the floor.
She walked next to Twilight and spoke, “Spike, dear, are you alright?”
Giving a half-hearted nod, Spike didn’t even break. The rest of the group entered the room and looked at Spike with concern but unsure what to say or do. Pinkie broke from group to pick up a crumpled piece of paper on the floor when she noticed a certain illustration on it. Studying it more carefully, she recognized five dragons. They were largely stick figures but Pinkie could see the wings and tails. She wanted to blurt out her discovery but then she saw names written under the dragon figures, mom, dad, sister, brother, me, and looked again at Spike with sad realization dawning on her. She picked up another paper and saw a more detailed picture of these figures with the same labels, and another with two cousins, and another with two uncles, and another with two aunts, and at least five more family members.
Pinkie Pie took the pictures and nudged Twilight, who turned around irritated that Pinkie would bother her in the middle of – then she saw the pictures in Pinkie’s hooves. Her eyes widened with understanding as the others crowded around the pictures. All that talk about family must have made him wonder about his family and then he must have gotten sad just thinking about it.
Twilight wrapped her hooves around Spike in a hug, causing him to tense up in surprise and finally stop his task. “Spike, if something’s wrong you can tell me.”
Spike lowered his head and closed his eyes, trying to keep his cool before his friends. He had dropped the pen and parchment and couldn’t even pretend to keep working.
“Spike,” Twilight continued in a soothing voice Spike had known since birth, “it’s alright. I’m here. Whatever is wrong we can work through it together. Trust me.”
Finally, Spike spoke carefully repressing his feelings, “I’m sorry. I got distracted with doodles and didn’t get much work done. Please don’t be angry.”
Twilight broke away from the hug and turned Spike around placing her hooves on his shoulders. His head was still down and his eyes closed. She put a hoof under his chin and lifted his face.
“Spike, I’m not angry with you. I just want to help you," she smiled encouragingly even though Spike's eyes were closed, "Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Finally, Spike opened his eyes. Twilight’s heart lurched when she saw her friend’s eyes red from crying. She wasn’t the only one. Instantly, all of their friends became instantly more concerned than before. Yet, they knew better than to intrude. 
“I just,” Spike’s voice cracked as he met Twilight’s eyes. “I was wondering if my family, I mean, my parents ever loved me.”
Twilight mouth opened in shock as Spike spoke, “I mean if they loved me, why did they leave me?”
Spike finally broke down and embraced Twilight in a wet, teary hug. She instantly moved to comfort him, and hugged him in return. It just burned her up inside to see him so distraught. She remembered hatching Spike all those years ago. He was so tiny, so precious. She assumed responsibility for raising him, even though he often took time from her studies. Twilight refused to let anything separate them. When he grew older, he assisted her in so many ways, organizing her books, calming her down when she felt stressed, and just being there for her. She never had any true friends before him. He really taught her what friendship meant; putting others before herself. He did that for her and their friends everyday. More than that, he taught her how to love. 
With all of this in mind, Twilight whispered into his ear with more conviction than any alicorn had ever used, “Well, I love you. And I promise you, I will never leave you.”
Rarity laid a comforting hoof on Spike’s shoulder and spoke with rivaling conviction, “We will never leave you, Spike.”
Soon, all of their friends placed their hooves on Spike’s shoulder or back, and even on his little head, and joined the embrace, whispering similar words of comfort. Soon there were no words or tears, just silence. The hole in Spike’s heart may have been healed, but he knew the pain would still be there until he found some answers.