//------------------------------// // Episode 17: Stampede's Rage! Fighting Over A Torn Coat!?! // Story: Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 3: Tyrants, Terrorists, and Tiaras, Oh My! // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Kropsling66's Comment As Stampede charges at you, you jump in the air and land on his back. "Hay! Get off me!" Stampede shouts as he tries to kick you off. You have one hoof hanging on his jacket with the other hoof in the air. "Yeahaaw!!!" you shout. You hang on for some time until you decide it's time to tip this bull. With enough force from the Power Glove, "Would you kindly fall down?!" Stampede losses his footing and lands on the ground and, in a quick reaction, you grab some rope from the safe house debris and tie his hoofs up. You then step back to see your work. All four of his hoofs are tied up. "Oh Come On!" shouts Stampede in embarrassment while the other bulls chuckle. "Now that is how you take down a bull," you say as you hear Selena's voice ask, Wow Bugze when and where did you learn to do that? You chuckle nervously as you think, I have no clue, it just felt really natural to me. Like it's something I've always known how to do. Must be my earth pony blood or something like that. Anyway, now that the hotshot is taken care of, lets take care of the rest of them. Your eyes glow orange slightly at that last statement as you turn towards the bulls and you... Kersey's Comment Point the Power Glove at them as you shout, "Would you kindly BURN!" Flames spray out of the glove and begin to ignite one of the bulls that tried to sneak up on you while you were dealing with Blondie. The Bull's eyes widen in pain as he begins run around in pain while shouting, "OH BUCK I'M ON BUCKING FIRE! I'M BURNING, I'M BURNING! WHY DO I SMELL SO TASTY NOW!?" Some of the bulls break up from the group to help put the flaming bull out, but you can't help but get a sweat drop as you think, This seems...oddly familiar. Reminisce about the past later! Focus on the fight! You nod your head at this as you prepare to charge at the remaining bulls, when you are stopped when Nightshade suddenly pops out of The Inventory. You can only stare at her in shock as she starts to sniff the air before saying, "Daddy, why do I smell something really tasty?" Your eyes widen when she says this before you say, "Nightshade! What did I tell you about getting out of The Invento-" You sentence is cut off however as a bull... The Pony Spartan's Comment Tackles you right into a big rock. He hits you hard enough to cause cracks to form where you hit. As you slide off the rock you groan in pain while Nightshade, who flew out of The Inventory and landed safely on the ground rushes over to you and asks you in a worried tone, "Daddy! Are you okay?" "Ya honey I'm fine-" You get cut off yet again when Nightshade gasps and runs off. "Nightshade, wait-" One again you get cut off as another bull lets out a war cry and charges you. You have an annoyed expression and you hold out your power glove. "Would you kindly STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" The glove shoots out ice that freezes the bull's mouth shut. He stops and tries to take the ice off his mouth, but without luck, so he rushes over to the one on fire and sticks his face near his flaming coat. "Now where did Nightshade go-" You say as you look around the surrounding area. Don't just talk. GO FIND HER! You take Selena's advice as you dodge another rampaging bull. MEANWHILE, WHERE NIGHTSHADE RAN OFF TO "Woah! What is this?" She picks up a gun that's about the same size as her. "A bit... heavy," She says as she strains, "but it can manage." She inspects the weapon. "Wow you are badass...What should I call you?" As Nightshade expects her new toy, she doesn't notice you run up to her as you say (slightly out of breath from fighting a bunch of bulls while looking for her), "There you are!" Nightshade looks up to see you with a worried face. "Didn't I say not to get out of the inventory?" "No, you said I couldn't fight. Which I'm not," she points out matter of factly. "Okay, Ms. Smartypants, get back into the invent- WHAT IN THE HIVE IS THAT?" So now you're cutting yourself off? "Oh, this?" She shows the gun. "I found it lying here. Kind of odd that it's in the middle of the nowhere." You look at the gun in awe as you think, T-That's the... Dark Cannon in Super Smash Colts. How is that even possible?! It's from a video game for Luna's sake! Are you seriously going to let our DAUGHTER hold such a powerful weapon? "Huh? Oh yeah! Sweetie, you shouldn't be playing with gu-" "Behind you!" Nightshade slams her new weapon down and aims at the rushing bull behind you. The gun hums for a few seconds then shoots out a beam of light that hits the rampaging bull head on, sending him flying into the safe house rumble, effectively knocking him out. The other Bulls all pause as King Longhorn holds up his arms to stop them. You can only stare at this in awe before you gain a confused look as you think, Wait? Shouldn't that shoot out a black arrow to cut through anyling? Perhaps the creator of the replica made it so that it wouldn't be a one shot kill weapon. And shouldn't you be more concerned over how A REPLICA FROM A FICTIONAL WORLD ACTUALLY WORKS!?!? You gain a sweatdrop as you think, Right, that too. You shake your head before you stutter out to Nightshade, "Uh... On second thought... Maybe you should keep it to protect your-" "Hontōni ka!? Arigatō, papa (Really!? Thanks, Daddy!)!" Nightshade then puts the Dark Cannon in her Inventory and hops into yours. "Why do I keep getting cut o-" "That was MY Dark Cannon!" Stampede yells cutting you off. Your eye twitches as you yell in annoyance, "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" With that mighty wail you turn towards Stampede...and see him completely shatter the rope tying him with nothing but brute strength. Your eyes widen in shock as you think, That's impossible! I tied him up using the Double Constrictor Knot method! It should have been impossible for him to untie it, much less shatter the rope into pieces! Even my Grandbuggy couldn't get out of it without help, and he had a pocket knife, flame thrower, and butter... don't ask! I wasn't planning too, but perhaps you tied it wrong, or this bull is stronger than the average bovine? You gulp slightly at this as well as the burning hate from the bull's eyes as you think, Really hoping it's the former and not the latter. Cause this guy looks like he wants, and can, rip me to pieces. I don't know if I can actually beat him! "Stand back boys, Stampede's back in the fight. Let him take care of this gas mask wearing freak!" shouts King Longhorn. With that thought in mind you begin to lose hope of beating this almighty bull, but just as he takes up a fighting stance and you begin to beg for mercy, you notice... *with the new coat you are wearing making you look even more badass... it fills you with DETERMINATION! A broken piece of glass nearby. Now it's not the glass itself that interests you, it's what's reflecting off that glass that does. For you see, you see...yourself. And if you must say, you look like one total, awesome, badflank. With your new coat finishing your red ensemble you look like a true menace. A red snarling ghoul whose vengeance should be feared. Seeing this new coat you are wearing makes you look even more badflank, it fills you with something. It fills you with... DETERMINATION!!! With this newfound feeling coursing through your veins, you stare down the bull and... you both got in to your fighting pose ready to fight each other. READY...FIGHT! Selena said what you think your the only one that plays games. Well I did think- before you can finished Stampede left hoofed you in the face. You get into a fighting pose, and stare him right in the eye, your breathing coming out as a growl through your mask. The both of you continue to stare each other down as Selena says, READY...FIGHT! You lose your determined look as a blank face replaces it. After a few moments of awkward silence you hear Selena say, What? You think your the only one that reference games?" Well I did think- before you can finish that thought Stampede left hoofed you in the face. "I'll knock out all the teeth from that mask you dirty coat and gun thief!" he shouts. The punch sends you back a few feet. You grunt in frustration as you wipe off some blood from your cheek before saying, Muranuse's Comment "Would you Kindly Get Dunked!" you yell as you send out an ice blast at the bull who flips over it and rushes at you. "You're gonna have a bad time!" he yells as he takes another swing at you, to which you block. "How tall are you? 6 ft tall? I didn't know they stacked crap that high!" you yell as you knee him in the gut. He retaliates by tackling you to the ground. "I'll kill you, I'll kill you to death!" he whines as he raises his hoof for a face strike, to which you dodge. "Oh really? Well I'm not gonna kill ya, I'm just gonna hurt ya real bad," you say creepily as you place your glove on his chest. "Would you kindly Ride the Lightning?!" The electrical blast sends him flying backwards, and slightly smoking. He gets back up and looks confused. "What? You're NOT going to kill me?" "Of course not, I don't do that anymore. After all this world is made of Love and Peace!!!" you snarl. "Hey! Thats my line!" protests Stampede as he stands back up. "False! I said it in a different intonation and context. Your argument is invalid!" You point back. "Can we please stop playing Pinkie, and- oh, I dunno... DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE 5000 POUNDS OF BEEF COMING TOWARDS US?!?! You nod your head as you dodge Stampedes charge and prepare to send a bit of lighting his way. MEANWHILE, IN PONYVILLE In the kitchens of the Sugarcube Corner, a certain pink mare sneezed, jumped up into the air, spun around, vibrated like a jackhammer, before falling over like a fainting goat. "Huh... This is new!" BACK WITH YOU Solarkness's Comment Halfway, through the fight, Stampede starts mimicking your attacks, and shouting their names too just for the effect. "PSYCHO CRUSHER!", you both shout out as you collide in, as the other bulls later describe it, 'a meatfull of supernova with bones flying out'. While that was their description, the meat and bones were from a chicken Stampede took out right before the collision, seeing how that usually causes their foes (mostly ponies) to gag, and sometimes even surrender. Needless to say you have a stronger rage than that. Stampede gets thrown into a wall, while you are halted in your movement. While Stampede did quickly read and copy your attacks (almost as fast as you learn them... scary), he just doesn't have the Evil-Tyrant-And-Moon-Goddess-Powered (Shortform is: ETAMGP, a mouthful too) muscles to keep up with you. Stampede himself realizes it too, after he clashed with you on all your attacks but Falcon Punch (After all, he does know he cannot punch that fast), so he quickly went back to his own style, which composed of a mixture of a dozen styles. You think you even saw a few moves from The Maretrix. Finally running out of patience you give a battle cry and charge at Stampede with your hoof raised for a Falcon Punch, only for Stampede to... BrownDog's Comment Grab your hoof and get you into some kind of hold as he says, "Now what to do with you, jacket ruiner? Oh I know!" With that he gets a sadistic grin as he pulls back his free hoof before punching you right in the kidney while shouting, "KIDNEY PUNCH!" You yell out in pain as he continues, "KIDNEY PUNCH!" "KIDNEY PUNCH!" "KIDNEY PUNCH!" "KIDNEY PUNCH!" He then stops for a second as he says, "And pause..." You gasp for air as you think he's finally done, but you're wrong as he jabs his hoof into your kidney with a final cry of, "KIDNEY PUNCH!" Finally having enough of this pain you knee him in the gut. He yells in pain and his grip loosens, giving you enough time to slip out and back away. However you don't have long to rest as Stampede yells in rage before charging at you. Thinking quickly you... Pentakill Apocalypse's Comment Proceed to dodge the bull in what you think is pure badassery, but is actually you screaming like a filly and running around and somehow not getting hit. You accidentally run into a debris covered chest, which then flips over and opens to reveal another odd looking gun. You pick it up to see that it has a note attached to it and a teddy bear. It reads Are you over encumbered? is your inventory chalk full of junk that you don't use? Try the Junk Jet! with this weapon you can shoot all the junk that's in your inventory at the enemy! You haven't lived until you knock an enemy out with a teddy bear! You are about to squeal in delight from receiving one of the coolest guns from the RPG game FallColt 4, but you are kinda cut off when you narrowly dodge a pair of horns to the face Stampede looks at what you're holding and gets even angrier as he shouts in rage, "NOW YOU TOOK MAMA'S JUNK GUN!? WHAT MORE CAN YOU TAKE AWAY FROM ME?! I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR INSIDES, OUTSIDES! RAAAAAAAAAAAGH" You look on in horror as Stampede, well, stampedes towards you, suddenly you think of something. You close your eyes and try to gather up your rage "I feel the hurt! Time for a rampage" as you try to turn into a psycho badass mutant, but you then realize that you aren't a psycho...maybe a bit insane, but not a psycho. "Oh, buck me" you mutter before you pull the trigger on the junk jet, which then fires the very same teddy bear that was attached to the gun. It flies straight into stampedes face and..... surprisingly enough, knocks him out. His last words that he mutters are, "Why Mr. Tibbers? Why?" before collapsing mid run and knocks over a bunch of other bulls in the process. The bulls all looked shocked that you took down Stampede with a Teddy Bear. You just stare at Stampede for a moment then at the gun, as you breathe out. "Best. Gun. Ever. Now if only I had the big colt as well..." You also can't help but wonder why there are so many replicas from games that actually work, but you decide to deal with that later. Putting the Junk Jett into The Inventory for now, you turn to face the other bulls, as you point to them and say. "Alright...who's next?" King Longhorn snorts in anger and rushes at you. "That was one of my best enforcers you Bucking Cultist!" "I told you already, I'm not a-Whoa!" Brown Dog's Comment King Longhorn takes advantage of your distraction and wraps his hooves over your shoulders and headbutts you hard. You shake off the initial pain and surprise, narrow your glowing orange eyes and headbutt him back. He immediately headbutts you again, and you return in kind as you both enter into a Headbutt match. The other bulls watch the spectacle their mouths agape.. *Whack Whack Whack* you both keep colliding and you realize that your vision is spinning. “Amateur, I can do this all day *Whack*" Longhorn declares not even looking fazed. “Oooooohhhh…coat…” you woozily say. Bugze, your vision is fading! You can't win this way! Stop ramming your head into his! Before he headbutts you again, you take the opportunity to kick him in the nads. “EEEEEEE!!!” he shrieks while the other bulls hold themselves and shout “Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh…” “That’s…cheating…” Longhorn stammers in a higher pitched voice. “I’m…peanut…muchacho…” you say as your head still spins. The others then rush forth as King Longhorn still cradles his jewels. The first one to reach you is Brick, the other Bull from the cabin, but before he can strike your dizzy form, Nightshade sticks her head out of the Inventory. "So Daddy, is this other new gun mine also or-EEEEKK!" she shrieks as Kichi's Comment Brick lifts her out of the Inventory and holds her. "Don't move or the filly will pay!" he snarls. "Nightshade!" you and Selena shout as your vision clears and anger course through you... when suddenly Nightshade back kicks the bull between the legs. "Falcon Kick" shouts Nightshade as she hit the bull even harder than how you hit Longhorn, and he falls to his knees crying. But Nightshade doesn't stop, she hits the bull again "Shoryuken!" she shouts doing an uppercut to his chin, throwing the bull with enough force that he crashes into another bull, sending both of them into some nearby rocks. You and the other bulls stare at this with your mouths open in shock as you turn to your daughter and ask "Nightshade...what was that?" "Self Defense, totally not Fighting Daddy, Ms. Rarity said so!" "Rarity?" "Yeah, she showed me and the other crusaders that move. She said it was good for a mare or filly to do that to a Stallion who tries to grab you from behind against your will. Hit 'em where it hurts," she says with a smile. Everyone stays silent at this declaration for a moment, before Brick groans out loud. "Gaaahhh... Help me, up guys..." The bulls look at each other and nod at each other...and to your confusion the bulls begin to kick Brick while he's down. "Gah, uhg, why?" he asks in pain. "Because you deserve it! We are criminals yeah, but not even we would think to target a young filly like that... We have a little of honor and targeting fillies is a no, no," chides King Longhorn. "Uhhhh... we're still fighting remember?" you ask. "Uh? Oh? Ah, yes, one second while we finish with this trash" comments one of the bulls as they all finish kicking Brick into unconsciousness. You and Nightshade just shrug at eachother as she hops right back into your inventory. After they are all done kicking, you all look back to you. "Alright, now that that's done, GET'EM BOYS!!!" Longhorn shouts as they all rush at you en mass. You narrow your eyes, as your hoof begins to emit a smokey haze. "Alright, let's see how you like this..." BrownDog's Comment You send out your Shadow Whip, and wrap one bull in it. He stops and looks confused at this before you shout. "GET OVER HERE!" before pulling back towards you. Using this momentum, you begin spinning him, still attached to the whip, around you in a circle, striking all the other bulls with his body. After a few rotations, you let him go, sending him flying back into the crowd. You then use your whip to keep slapping the bulls across the face, making them keep their distance. "That's right Back! Back you filthy savages! Would you kindly freeze!" Your freeze shot freeze a few of their nose rings, causing them to howl in pain. You take this opportunity to trip them up with the shadow whip, and when they all hit the ground, you hit your Boomstick into the dirt. The shockwave causes the frozen metal to break up and fall out of their noses, causing the Bulls to black out from pain. After many strikes, and knocking quite a few of them out, you begin to chain freeze as many as you can, but one bull is able to blindside you and the remainder of them dogpile you. "Oh Luna...not again..." You try to move, and can't as the crushing weight bears down on you. “Selena…we got enough juice?” you strain out, as you can think of no other options. For a few minutes…do it! You smile as your eyes glow orange. You flare out the power of your cloak, and the bulls go flying in several directions. The vast majority of them either hit face first into rocks, bushes or the ground and are knocked out. Those who weren’t knocked out, including King Longhorn look at your dark form in fear. You look up with your orange eyes and say in your now doubly intimidating voice. “DADDY’S HOME…” The power...you haven't felt it in so long. The Right way anyway. It's no longer out of control, it's manageable. Two of your tails are out, and you use them to grab two bulls and pull them towards you for a double Shoryuken. "Ahahahaha," you chuckle darkly. "My tails needed a stretch!" you say as you pick up another bull and stretch his limbs painfully, before slamming him into the ground. "G-G-Get Him!" roars out Longhorn, but the 10 or so remaining bulls instead try to flee into the night...but you don't let them escape. "Don't Go! The fun's just beginning!" you shout. Their screams of pain and fear fill the air as King Longhorn stares at you in shock. And for the next couple of minutes, you completely wreck the remaining bulls. You then feel your cloak start to dissipate. "What, that's it?" you ask. Any longer would be a strain. Besides, they are beaten, Selena tells you. "Good point," you say as you look over all the knocked out bulls. "Guess it's time to bag and tag'em," you say as you bring out your Duct Tape, but a whimper causes you to pause. "Wh-wh-what you?" You turn around and see a battered and bruised King Longhorn looking at you in fear. "Me? Well besides the bounty hunter that just kicked your butt...I'm the one who is going to destroy the Crimson Knights!" you declare. "For all the hurt they've caused me, they will pay! All evil doers will feel my wrath...my Vengeance!" you then wrap your arms around his shoulders and bring him to your face, your eyes glowing fiercely into his. "I...AM THE CRIMSON VENGEANCE!" you snarl as his eyes fill with tears. "And you...are my meal ticket." You then bring your head back and slam it hard into his face, knocking him out. You then rub your forehead before wrapping him up in tape. B-Bugze...that was...exhilirating just now, Selena says in awe. "Thanks, I try to please," you joke. And that name...it suits you. How ever did you come about it? "I don't know. Kind of just sounded right with that whole Batmane speech I was giving to Long Johns here," you explain as you shrug your shoulders. "But yeah, now ole CV is coming for the wicked," you declare. Aaaaaannnnndddd, you just ruined it, Selena sighs. “Quiet you!" you say in indignation before you start taping up all 30 bulls. After you are done, you look at your handy work. "Alright, now to get you all to the sheriff. Who is in Dodge City. About 5 hours from here. And I have no wagon…” you say as you realize something obvious. You didn't bring anything to haul all these guys in. “Oh Gorramit! Ugh, what am I supposed to do? It’s not like I have an infinite storage spa…” The Next Day You walk into town, with your daughter on your back as you walk right up to the sheriff. “Oh, you’re still alive huh? Nice coat. Who’s the kid?” “She’s my…business associate. But anyway, I’m here for my payment.” “Ha ha! Payment? For what? Surviving?” he chuckles. “No, this!” you say smugly as you turn your Inventory upside down and start shaking. Much to the confusion of the sheriff, and several nearby civilians, Bull after bull comes tumbling out of the seemingly small saddle bags. All of them are still dazed and tied up, but you keep dumping them in a pile. When the last one has fallen out, you place your bags back on your back and look back to the sheriff. Try to collect the bounty on the bulls “So, do I get that in straight up bits, or do I get a check or…” The Sheriff is so shocked, he just stares at the pile of unconscious bulls and doesn’t hear you. "Hello? Equis to Sheriff, come in!" you say as you wave your hoof in front of his face, snapping him out of it. "Boy...you did it. You actually Goram Did it..." he says as he looks at you in awe. "Well Duh, I told you I would," you say as you cross your arms. "So I fulfilled my side of the bargain, now where's my money?" "Uh, right, let me see your license so that I can run this through the system," he says as he holds his hoof out. "My...license?" you ask. "Yeah, you know, your Bounty Hunting License that lets you claim the reward and do this job legally?" Only to be unable to collect due to not having the proper Bounty Hunting credentials. "You don't have one do you?" he says as he puts his hoof down. "I... uh... no..." you say defeated. "Well I'm sorry son, but without a license, I can't legally give you the reward, otherwise that'd be advocating Vigilantism." "Oh Gorramnit! Noling told me anything about no stinking license!" you shout. "Well they're not too hard to get, you just gotta go to a licensing house." "Well where's the nearest one?" you ask. "Well from here? I'd say Baltimare." "What?!" you shout. "Are you kidding me?" "Sorry son, Licensing houses are found in the big fancy cities and all..." he apologizes. "So for all the hard work and fighting I put in, I'm not even getting paid?!" you shout as your eyes begin to glow. The sheriff just sighs before he looks around shiftily. He reaches into his vest and pulls out a bag of bits. "Here, this is 200 bits. I know it's nowhere near the reward you were hoping for, but that's out of my pocket Mr. I do appreciate what you done, but until you get that license...there's nothing I can do." You sigh and take the bits. 200 Bits Added to Inventory "Thanks Sheriff...guess I'm off to Baltimare," you sigh while Nightshade shouts, "Woohoo, new city!" "What the?" Stampede says having just regained consciousness, "Let me outta here this minute! I'll make you pay for turning Mr. Tibbers against m-" Unfortunately for him, you're in a bad mood and he just volunteered to be your stress relief, "Oh would you kindly just BUZZ OFF!" you say pointing the Power Glove at Stampede causing a small hive of bees to come out and swarm the downed bull. "OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!" the bull screams and struggles against the duct tape restraints as the bees angrily and repeatedly sting his face, your bad mood seeping into them. "Hey daddy, he sounds like Scary-Face Cage!" Nightshade giggles, "Say 'My hair is a bird, your argument is invalid'!" That's my girl... you think, your mood a little better after that. You turn around and begin to walk away when the sheriff calls out, "Say wait Mr., I never did catch your name." You look back to him and say. "They call me The Crimson Vengeance...remember that name sheriff," you say before you start heading East towards Baltimare, grumbling the whole way. A Few Days Later After following a path through some semi safe woods towards the river that leads to Baltimare, you decide to make camp for the night. "Stupid Bulls, Stupid Bounty Hunting Laws. I'll show them, I'll show them all," you grumble as you have for the last few days. After laying your head down in your tent, you try to drift off to sleep...but you are stopped when you hear chanting. You stick your head out of the tent and look around the woods. Not to far from your camp, you see orange flames and red smoke. You sneakily make your way towards the fire, and hiding in the darkness you see...a strange looking Zebra stallion. He is the same shade of grey as Zecora, but his mane and stripes are all orange and red...and his eyes are not kind. He stands over a cauldron chanting some harsh language, and sending out from his hooves some sort of fire magic. "The treasures of this wood will be mine, but for now, I must dine..." he mumbles. Taking in this Zebra, something sparks in your mind and you open up your Bingo book, and there he is. Braze: Dark Shaman Zebra. Wanted for Theft, Kidnapping, and Arson. Your eyes light up. Baltimare is only another day's walk, if you capture this guy, you can bring him in AND get your license. "OK, I just gotta wait till this guy goes to sleep, and then I'll make you my first official bounty...relatively speaking..." So you sit and silently watch him from the darkness for about an hour, but as you do your eye catches movement in the darkness. "What is that?" you wonder aloud. As the shape moves closer to the Zebra's camp, you can faintly make out shades of blue. Eventually, the blue shape you can make out as a Unicorn mare. "Who the hay are you missy?" you wonder as you still don't move. You see the mare sneak closer and closer towards the Zebra, looking like a cat ready to pounce. She then does something that causes your breath to catch in your chest. She manifests a whip...made out of water. In that moment, two things run through your mind "No way...the water bender from Fillydelphia?" And "That Strumpet is trying to take my bounty!!!" What Do You Do?