“Big Macintosh Apple! What has gotten into that thick head of yers? Ah had jus’ finished mah training with Rainbow (girl’s been skipping work so much Ah doubt she’ll be Weather Captain fer much longer) an’ was coming back t’the house to discuss what we’ll be plantin’ this year, and what do I find? The market cart gone and Granny sleepin’ on the porch. And ya know how cranky Granny gets when she's overslept! Yer on cleaning duty all month fer that mister.
“With mah plans fer the day gone, Ah kept busy doin’ just about anythin’ even remotely useful Ah could think ta do down t’farm and then t’second weird thing happened. Didya ever see Rarity with a care package for a sick pony? Might not be quite t’sight in this town, what with Pinkie livin’ here, but it's still somethin’. And even after seein’ her wranglin’ a Manticore and climbing up a mountain with barely any help Ah still can't believe she managed ta drag all that to the farm.
“Now where would Rarity get t’idea that Granny was sick? Ah doubt she misheard the name, girl as nosy as her has t’have a good ear. Maybe she heard a granny was sick and immediately thought of ours? She would’ve checked with me or Sweetie beforehoof; since the whole Gabby Gums fiasco she tends ya be responsible when reacting t’rumors, ‘specially health related ones. Surely she didn't get that fake information from a no-good lyin’ stallion tryin’ ta cover up the real reason he was there, did she?
“And what a coincidence that all of this would happen on t’one day of the week that Fluttershy goes to the spa. Got anythin’ to say about that? Just because Ah don’t like them fancy mathematics don't mean Ah can't put two and two t’gether. But what really makes me mad is that after all that ye got cold hooves!
“Now Ah know tryin’ ta ask somepony out may seem dauntin’, especially a pony as purdy as Shy; but she's nothing if not nice, and even if she says no, she’ll do her best to not hurt yer feelings. Heh, Ah’d bet it’s scarier for her having somepony ask her out! An’ Yer not a bad catch yerself. Minuette can tell ya how many clients Ah’ve sent her way fer making lewd comments about ya. Whaddya mean ya never saw mares goin’ crazy next t’ya? Ya know how many times Ah’ve heard from Mayor Mare that t’best way to do Winter Wrap-Up on time was to parade ya tail-up on Mane street? She’d always laugh an’ say that’d make all the town's mares give enough heat ta melt all th’ snow licketly split. And even worse, Granny would always be right behind me saying that's how it was done when granpappy was yer age. Ah still can't believe Ah didn’ grow up ta be as red as you.
“And before ya ask: yes, this kinda thing also happens during t’ family reunions. And no, ah won’t be disclosin’ any more details.
“But seriously, ya like Fluttershy? Ah have it on good authority she's also looking fer a coltfriend, and Ah believe both of ya make a good match. Jus’ say the word and Ah’ll setup th’ date.”
“...eeyup.”
“Ah’ll ask Fluttershy right away! Ya won’t regret this.—”
“Big bro? Ah couldn't help but overhear th’ talk you just had with Applejack. Ah know Ah'm not the best pony to say this, what with last Hearts and Hooves day an’ all, but Ah hope it goes well fer ya. Fluttershy is a really nice mare an’ Ah know she'll love ya ta bits. Mind if Ah ask a question tho?”
“Go right ahead ‘Bloom”
“What did Applejack mean when she said ya can get mares ta melt snow jus’ by walkin’ around town? Big bro? Yer bein’ way too quiet now, even fer you. Is everythin’ OK? Please answer me!”