ONE MONTH LATER
Vinyl stared over the bridge, watching the rushing water far down below. It had become her favorite place to be- besides her house. She loved the sound of the water flowing. It had a purpose, it had a destination. Vinyl had never followed the river to see where it went. Why would she? That would ruin the mystery, in her opinion. When she was a little foal and she passed the bridge, she’d imagine the river would flow to another country. Far, far away from the foal and small little town she lived in. Recently, Vinyl had begun to love the bridge for another reason. It was a constant reminder that whenever things got too rough, she could always opt out.
In a sick way, she loved having that safety net. It was almost… eerily comforting to her. Lately, she had been thinking about that reminder more and more. And it wasn’t like anypony would miss her. She scoffed at that thought, putting her front hoof on the railing of the bridge. Who would miss her? She had no friends, she shut out her family years ago, and last she heard… Roseluck ran off to some other small town to set up some flower shop. Vinyl gave a sigh.
Maybe… it was her time? She glanced up. There were no stars out tonight. The only thing lighting her was a single streetlight that rested on the bridge. It was almost like a spotlight.
Nopony would care. The same small voice that had taunted her most of her life spoke up. And really, do you blame them? Look at you. Your special talent is magic, but you’re too cowardly to even try to follow your shitty dream of being a DJ. You’re a cashier. And it sucks. Work sucks. You know what else sucks? Your body. It’s always been wrong, wrong, wrong. Maybe it’s time for you to jump!! After all, how are things ever going to be better?
Vinyl felt pathetic, agreeing with the thoughts. She had given up fighting them ages ago. You’re right. She thought back. As usual. I wouldn’t be a burden anymore. I wouldn’t be a failure. I wouldn’t be missed… I should die right now. Vinyl stared into the pitch black water, and it strangely beckoned her. She wondered how long it would take to drown. The water was going too fast for her to have second thoughts and try to swim away. Once she was in, that was it for her. Vinyl’s heart had begun to pound, and she was sickeningly excited about it.
She was feeling.
And it was a feeling more than that constant, irritating sadness.
Vinyl began to lift herself up over the railing. This was it. She took a deep breath, ready to plunge—
“Excuse me!”
Vinyl quickly shuffled away from the railing awkwardly as heard the voice. She felt herself burn from embarrassment. Who the hell had the nerve to be here at this hour?! She looked towards the direction of the voice, and from the darkness appeared a yellow pegasus. She had a soft pink mane, done in a very messy and loose bun. She seemed nervous as she stepped closer to Vinyl.
“Um…. Yes?” Vinyl called to the other mare, her heart still pounded with the adrenaline. Go away so I can jump. She inwardly begged the mare.
“I’m sort of lost.” The mare came closer to Vinyl. “Do you know how to get to the…uh… grocery store?”
The grocery store? At this hour? Vinyl blinked. “It’s just two streets away from here.” Vinyl hurriedly explained, wanting the mare to hurry up and leave. “On Hoofington and Horsechester.” She pointed north. The mare didn’t move. She didn’t want to jump with the mare here…That was just… no. That’d be traumatizing, or something. Vinyl didn’t want to leave yet another terrible lasting impact on somepony else.
“I… umm…” The mare shuffled her hooves. “It’s sort of dark. I was wondering if you could take me there?” The mare paused. “I’m not a big fan… of the dark.” Vinyl wondered how the mare had made it this far to the bridge.
She also wanted to yell at this mare: Go find your own way! Why the hell should she consider helping this stupid horse who had stopped her…
…Well… The voice in her mind was remaining silent. With Vinyl back on the reins… she wasn’t as sure she was quite ready to… die. To jump. The adrenaline she felt was now replaced with fear.
Vinyl’s ears tilted back. “Uh.” I’ll just help her out with this, and then when I come back I won’t be as freaked out. Vinyl reasoned with herself. “Sure.” The mare perked up and walked towards the unicorn’s side.
“I’m Fluttershy, by the way!” The name sounded familiar, but Vinyl couldn’t place it. “Who are you?”
Nobody.
“I’m Vinyl Scratch.” The unicorn gave a quick, polite smile. Fluttershy smiled back, wide. As soon as Fluttershy turned her head, Vinyl’s smile faded.
The two began their trip to the grocery store, which Vinyl was definitely sure was not open at this hour. The silence was a bit awkward, since the thought of Vinyl’s delayed death continued to loom over her head. Fluttershy wasn’t exactly making an attempt to start a conversation either. She seemed concerned about something and was also lost in thought.
It was a bit into the walk when Fluttershy finally spoke up. “Why were you at the bridge so late at night?” Her voice was polite and soothing, almost as if she was talking to a frightened deer. Part of Vinyl craved the kindness she heard in the voice, and the other part of Vinyl wanted to punch her for making Vinyl feel like a frightened deer. Vinyl noticed that Fluttershy’s pace matched that of Vinyl’s. Vinyl was sure, however, that her own pace was much slower than normal.
“I like being out there.” Vinyl chose her words carefully, as she tried to think of proper excuse besides I wanted to die. “I like seeing how the stars reflect on the water.”
Fluttershy lifted her head up to the sky, a small frown graced her lips. “But… there are no stars out tonight.” Vinyl wanted to slap herself. What a stupid fucking lie.
“I know.” Vinyl feigned disappointment. “But… I was really hoping they’d come out later.” Fluttershy glanced at her, but didn’t call Vinyl out on what the unicorn felt was a very obvious lie.
“That’s a shame,” Fluttershy sighed. “I would have really liked to see that. “ She smiled again. “You know what I really love though?”
Vinyl felt it was rude to leave her hanging, even though she sort of didn’t want to answer. “What?”
“I love going there during the day. I love watching how the water sparkles in the sunlight.” Vinyl nodded, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember how it looked like during the day. “That’s almost like seeing stars, right?”
“Uh… I guess so.” Vinyl complied, not sure what else to say. I’m so great at conversation! She thought sarcastically. She pushed the thought out of her mind.
“Maybe… tomorrow… We could go look at it!” Fluttershy said cheerily. Maybe if Vinyl was healthier, she would have noticed how forceful it sounded. But to Vinyl, it seemed just as happy as any other happy tone. “You’d love it, I’m sure. And there’s a lot of cute animals who live near the bridge and—”
“Tomorrow?” Vinyl cut her off, surprised. I’m not going to be alive tomorrow. She reminded herself. Parts of her hoped, though, if she accepted this invitation… Then she could die and Fluttershy would wait for her and then maybe even find her body. Then that’d way… She’d be missed. She’d matter…. Shut up, shut up. She angrily broke that train of thought.
That’s right. You don’t matter at all. What’s the point of trying to gain a friendship right now, when you’re gonna die? Her mind’s voice casually said, breaking its silence.
“Oh sorry,” Fluttershy seemed embarrassed after the silence that followed while Vinyl’s mental war raged on. “I should have asked.” She looked at Vinyl. “You don’t have anything going on tomorrow, do you?”
Vinyl wanted to reply: No, because I’ll be dead. But instead what just came out was a blunt: “No.”
“Then it’s a date!” Fluttershy stated, as if it was just a matter-of-fact. The pegasus stopped walking.
A date?! Vinyl wanted to protest, pausing in her own movements. What? I don’t want a date. I don’t even know you. You’re pretty but… I don’t like you like that! I just met you. How could I… And also, what if I’m dead? She’ll be waiting for me and I’ll never show up. My body would be far away, wherever the river leads me. I can’t go out on a date!
Way to disappoint yet another pony. Her thoughts quietly spoke up. The only pony who remotely shows interest in you and you’re gonna go and abandon her. How pathetic. Vinyl wanted to die right there and then.
Fluttershy noticed Vinyl’s mixed expression and laughed. “I meant like… a friend date.”
Oh.
Vinyl gave a small laugh of relief, which she quickly cut off. Gross. My laugh is just as shitty as I remembered. “I knew that,” Vinyl lied, using a relaxed tone. She once again pushed away any negative thought that tried to enter.
Fluttershy gave a sigh and gestured in front of them. “The grocery store is closed.” She didn’t sound remotely confused, disappointed, or surprised. Vinyl looked at small little shop, with a large CLOSED sign on it. When had they even made it here? “Oh well,” Fluttershy always gave a small shrug. “There’s always tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Vinyl nodded. “You’re right.”
Fluttershy looked at her new friend. Was there pride in those teal eyes, or was it Vinyl’s weird imagination? The pegasus sheepishly asked, “So… would you walk me home? It’s still too dark out. If you don’t mind.”
Vinyl glanced back towards the direction of the bridge. If she left right now… she’d still have time to… But she didn’t feel like she wanted to anymore. At least, not tonight. There was always tomorrow, right? “Sure. Why not?” She agreed, and began to walk Fluttershy home.
As they walked, the bridge was beginning to get further and further away.
But Vinyl wasn’t thinking about that. She was too fixated on the conversation she and Fluttershy were having as they planned their little friend date. There were no awkward silences in between them this time.