//------------------------------//
// Chapter 21 
// Story: Brony in Equestria: The Tacoing 
// by Omega Dracomancer 
//------------------------------//

I woke up and Applejack was still holding on to me. I slowly moved my way out of her arms. I looked around the room, nobody else was awake yet. I thought about what I should do, then I realized that my parents haven't seen me in about a week. "This is going to be so predictable. I call, I try to tell them, they worry too much, I say that I'm not a crazed gunman and that I'm an assassin. Oh wait, I'm not sniper. Time to find a phone."

I looked around the room and found myself a cord phone. I picked it up, dialed my dad, then waited for him to pick up. Nobody answered, it went straight to the answering machine.

"Hey dad, how ya been? Phil here, and if you don't believe me, tacos. You can stop worrying about me, I'm safe. I know that you were worried, and I'm sorry that I didn't call sooner. Worrying is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere. Right now I'm in Rome, Italy, and I'm not going to tell you how. I'm traveling with my friends to get back home, changing locations often and rapidly. See you in a week or three." I put the phone down and shrugged.

"Dagnabbit, Ah always wake up early, but that was when Ah had work to do. Now that there's no work, it's just annoying. Oh, mah head." I heard Applejack say, sitting up.

I walked over to her and said, "So, how far do you remember?"

"Now that you mention it, Ah do have some gaps. Ah remember drinking some beer."

"How much?"

"Ah don't know. A lot, I know that. They had a really good appley kind. Anyways, after that, Ah fell out of my chair, then we left and Ah fell asleep on your back. Then Ah woke up again when I heard a thumping noise, then couldn't fall back asleep."

I lifted my hair and showed her the lump on my head. "This right here is what that thumping noise was. I was hit upside the head with a bat."

She looked at it, speechless. Then she said, "Are you ok?"

"Peachy as Pinkie!" I said happily.

"What about Rainbow Dash? Is she safe?"

"See for yourself." I said, moving to show her.

She gave Rainbow a look, then smiled. "She's fine. That's good." I got her some water and she happily drank it. "How did you know Ah wanted some water?"

"Magic. Anyways, we got a good half-second before someone else wakes up again."

"Why do ya'll say half-second?"

"No reason important. Just wanna make sure that I'm right. For all I know, we got an hour or two."

I turned some matter I found into some apples and tossed her one. "Eat up. Or not, who cares."

"Are you sure this is safe to eat?"

"No, lemme try mine first." I said, biting down on the apple. "Yeah, that's some good apple right there."

We ate the apples, then got bored. "So, what do you wanna do today?" asked Applejack.

"Whatever my friends want to do, and if there's nothing to do, we resume traveling. I have one small problem though, and it's a big one."

"What is it?"

"I'll tell everyone when they all wake up, no use in telling it twice."

"Alright then."

I got up and opened the window, then hopped outside. I walked around for a few minutes, then climbed up a building.

MANY FREE RUNNING FILLED MINUTES LATER

I got back to the room, and everyone was awake. "How you doin'?" I asked.

"My head hurts." said Rainbow.

"That's what happens when you drink. Alright, anybody have any plans?"

"Actually, I have a question." said Luna.

"Ok, shoot."

"Why were you sleeping with Applejack last night?"

"He did what?" asked Applejack angrily.

"She didn't let go of my neck when I brought her here." I said. Then I thought about it, and started laughing. "Man, she was just like you were, Luna."

"She was drunk?"

"Yeah. I warned ya that you wouldn't think straight, but you didn't listen." I said to Applejack.

"Shut up." she said.

"Y'no, beer makes you act on feelings that you don't act on sober." I said, laughing.

"Ah said shut up!" she yelled, punching my forehead.

I was thrown back a few feet and laid on the ground, holding my head. "God damn it! That fuckin' hurt. Ah... Damn it!"

Everyone looked at Applejack and she looked down. "But Ah didn't even hit you that hard."

"I know, but guess what? You hit me right where it hurts. Right where I was hit yesterday. Ah, that hurts like hell! Eh, don't worry about it."

I kept rubbing my head and I got up. "At least I showed that son of a bitch that I'm not to be messed with. I kicked his knee so hard it broke. He's not gonna forget me anytime soon." I said with an evil smile.

I smiled normally and said, "Got a bit off topic there. So, what do you eight wanna do?"

"Ah wanted to hear what the problem was."

"Fair enough. We gotta get across maybe 3000 miles worth of water, and I've been thinking about how we're gonna get there. We could either use an airplane or a boat, and all I know is that the plane's gonna get us there faster."

"I like faster." said Dash.

"What's an airplane?" asked Twilight.

I pulled a model passenger jet out of the floor and showed it to them. "Like this, but a few hundred feet long. Goes like 500mph. Be in America in about 6 hours if we leave from the coast."

"But if the airplane can do that, why mention a boat?" asked Celestia.

"Because, I could get us on a huge cruise ship with fun stuff."

"Fun stuff?" asked Luna.

"And quite a lot of it. But it takes longer. Not incredibly significantly, but longer."

"I think we all wanna go by sea." said Rainbow.

"That's that, then." I returned the model and stood back up. "This is gonna involve a lot of criminal activity."

"What?"

"Why would that be?"

"Lotta legal stuff involved with leavin' a country. Passports, drivers license, certification, and then the tickets, which won't be that much of a problem. Oh well, pay off the right people, and you'll be safe. And by pay off, I mean hypnotize, with magic."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out." said Twilight.

"Maybe, but there's still something bugging me."

"Yeah, me too." said Pinkie.

"Aw damn it, I know why I'm bugged." I said unhappily.

"And why would that be?" asked Rarity.

"Rarity! Just the person to help me with this problem." I said.

"Me? Why me?"

I tossed her my bag of money and said, "I'm gonna need you to help everyone buy clothes."

"Clothes again?" asked Luna unhappily. "Well, you can never have too many socks."

"You already have clothes. I'm talking about everyone else. Then again you like socks, so go ahead."

"Yay socks!"

"Ugh, I hate socks. Once Princess Luna started the sock craze, I was making socks non-stop for days at a time." said Rarity.

"I remember that, like when Fluttershy was going to ask you to make some socks, but ended up leaving with a hat."

Fluttershy laughed nervously.

"Speaking of which, how have you been, Fluttershy?" I asked.

"I've been... good."

"That's great." I said, smiling. "So anyways everybody, to the store. After breakfast of course."

"Didn't you already eat?"

"If eating food counts as eating, than yes. Guess I won't eat then."

We all left for some food. I was still getting some odd looks from some citizens, but none of them were violent. We got some breakfast, then headed to the store. 'I really hope Rarity won't need my help here. I don't need another embarrassing time like with Luna. Then again, if I ignore the embarrassing part, my wings'd shoot out like a rocket, then it'll be weird, really, really weird. Lucky so far, but...'

On the way there, I got insanely bored, and flew around next to them, gaining even more awestruck looks from others. Some pulled out their phones and recorded me. Dash jumped after me, and she chased me through the air. She caught up with me faster than I thought she would. I put on more speed, then turned around.

Dash flew right past me a split-second later. "You really got some speed there." I said.

"I've been practicing."

"It shows." I said.

I pulled in my wings and dived down towards the ground, Rainbow waiting in the air for a moment. I picked up a lot of speed and landed on the ground, creating a small crater. I heard a scream and put my arms in front of me.

Rainbow landed right in my arms and said, "Sorry about that, again."

"You really gotta work on staying in the air. That was pathetically short."

"But it's hard to do that in this new body!"

I put my hand on her head and said, "Now it's not." I transferred what she needed to know to her, and she flew back into the air.

"Kick-ass Rainbow!" I shouted up to her.

She flew around for a few seconds, and landed next to us. I smiled at her and she said, "Thanks man."

"Not a problem."

We got to the store and Rarity took control of the whole operation. Being the clothes genius that she is, it went by fairly quickly. I told her to help them get swimming stuff, because one way or another, I planned on taking them swimming.

I got two more bags for the things, and I paid for our merchandise. I got some jealous looks from some guys around me, and I just kept smiling.

"Phil, why are they looking at us like that?"

"They're jealous of me."

"Why?"

"That I cannot say, let's leave it at that."

I threw everything in the bags and Rarity told me to be careful. We left and returned to the room for a minute, taking care of anything that we may have had to take care of, and started to head east.

We were barely out of town and it had taken us a longer than expected to do so. "Well, this isn't gonna work." I said.

"Why not?"

"We're going way too slow."

"I know, it's irritating." said Dash.

I started thinking and said, "Maybe there's an Italy-America ship. Hold on for a minute, wait right here. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I put the bags on the ground and zoomed off at high speeds. I for something that could help me, like a travel agency. I found one with my magic and headed inside. I had to wait in line, but got bored and magically made everyone leave for their own little reasons. I moved to talk with the person at the counter, and was almost instantly stopped because I was too young or something, whatever, didn't matter.

I magiced my way through the conversation and managed to get us a cruise that was leaving today for a "discounted" price. I grabbed the tickets and flew back to my friends.

"What took ya?" asked Dash when I got back.

"Had to use a lot of spells in there. Was still boring. Anyways, we gotta get going. Hey, Twilight?"

"Yeah?"

"C'mere."

She walked over to me and I told her to teleport us to where we needed to be. "Think you can get us all there?" I asked.

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem." she said. "Alright everyone, hold hands."

I nodded and we all grabbed each other's hands, making a small circle. I grabbed the bags and Twilight teleported us to the docking area, scaring everybody close to us.

I ran to the nearby sea and tossed my lunch. I was surrounded by people willing to help me, but I ignored them all. After I was finished, I wiped my mouth and tossed the magic made napkin away. I shook my head and my friends ran over to me, asking if I was alright.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry. Guess I don't handle well to teleportation. Damn it! Now I'm gonna be hungry in a few minutes." I said. Then I started laughing. "The first thing I think of after tossing my lunch is that I'm gonna be hungry again."

Pinkie giggled a little and said, "That wouldn't be my first thought, I know that."

"Let's go." I said.

I walked to the man who seemed to be an official for the ship and he attempted to turn us away, but I magiced again, making him allow us on without question. Nobody paid any attention to us and we boarded. I followed the correct procedure, with magic of course, and we went to our given rooms.

"This place looks fun already!" said Pinkie.

"Yeah, I've never been on a ship before, but I've heard that they're great. Also that tacos."

"Speaking of which, what's a taco?" asked Twilight.

"Er... Food."

"Is it good?"

"Um... No, it's disgusting." I lied.

"Well why do you say it all the time?"

"Because tacos."

"What do they..."

"Alright, that makes sense, it was actually a rather good explanation. Well made." said Pinkie, smiling.

"Y'see, Pinkie got it."

She looked at us with a face of utter confusion, then gave up. I laughed and walked into the room. I dumped my stuff in a corner and took out my swimming stuff. I went into the bathroom, changed, and walked right back out.

"What's with the sudden change of clothes?" asked Rarity.

"There's a pool on top, and I'm gonna go swimming. Also I'm gonna swim in the ocean, jump right off the ship, maybe. Anyway, who's coming?" I asked.

Just about everyone said that the would, everyone except Fluttershy. I looked at her and said, "You really should go, Fluttershy."

"Um... I don't know. What if something happens?"

"That's what I'm here for." I said happily. "Nothing's gonna happen to you. I'll make sure of it. Just have a good time."

She smiled and said, "I guess I will go then."

"That's the spirit." I said. "If you girls wanna swim, you gotta get your swimming... stuff on. Stuff for lack of a better word. They're not exactly clothes, and gear implies something like goggles."

"Why do we need them on?"

"Well for one, you don't want to get your clothes wet. Another, you're not allowed to swim without clothes."

"Why not."

"Just no, don't even try it. I mean that. No. You can put them on under your everyday clothes, or not, your call. Wait a minute, half of us got wings. That's gonna be a sight to see."

"Why's that?"

"Humans do not have wings, nobody does. Eh, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Anyways, back to before. Wanna swim, change."

Luna started to take off her shirt, then I ran outside the room and close the door. "." I said to myself.

"What was that all about?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, he's embarrassed." said Pinkie.

"Shut up, Pinkie!" I said through the door. She laughed loudly, then fell on the floor, and laughed harder.

Eventually, they walked out of the room. Twilight and Celestia were clothed. Rainbow and Applejack didn't have their shirt and Rarity and Fluttershy were lacking their pants. Pinkie and Luna were just wearing their swimsuits.

"That's the word I was looking for!" I said suddenly. "Swim suit. That was it."

I went in the room and grabbed my bag o' money, then stuck it in my pocket. Pinkie laughed a little. "Well, let's go." I said.

We got to the pool area, eventually, and Pinkie disappeared, but I expected that. We all agreed to meet up again later, then split off. Fluttershy remained near me, and I said, "C'mon, let's go have some fun, what do ya say?" She smiled, and we walked over to the pool. "Would you care for a swim, m'lady?" I asked, bowing like a servant.

"Oh... I don't know."

"You're already here, and you already have your swim suit on, maybe. Unless you don't, then you wouldn't. If not, then don't. But you do, so you should."

"Wait, what?"

"That's the spirit!"

"Um..."

I laughed a little, put my stuff on a nearby table, then hopped into the pool. I waved Fluttershy in, and told her that she had to take off her shirt first.

She did so, and stepped into the pool. "There ya go, Fluttershy!" I said.

She smiled, and walked over to me. "Thanks Phil."

"Anything for Fluttershy."

"Anything for Fluttershy?"

"Yeah, feel free to keep that in mind. Anything for Fluttershy, anytime, anywhere."

"You got that right my fellow brony." said another person, patting me on my shoulder. "Anything for Fluttershy."

"Alright."

"Yo kid, what' goin' on?"

I opened my wings and hopped in the air, hovering just above the water. I leaned down and said, "Ponies."

He looked at me with wide eyes, then shook his head and said, "Cool."

I flipped around until I was behind Fluttershy, upside down, and said, "What we got righ' hrr is a Fluttershy. She's even got wings." I touched her wing and moved it so he could see it.

The guy looked at us both like he might be high, but doesn't even know it himself. "Well..."

"Phil! You started the party without me!" said Rainbow, who was next to me in the air.

"Did someone say party?" asked Pinkie, appearing right next to us.

"Well alright, see ya later." he said, walking away. Pinkie laughed at him.

"I may have." I said to Dash. "Go nuts, you're on vacation!"

I re-entered the water and stuck my head out. I used my wings to propel me through the water. "Hey Fluttershy, what do you wanna do?"

"Well... I don't know."

"Than it seems that we have reached an obstacle. Relax in the pool then." I said. "Or better yet, relax over there, in the hot tub. Bet Rarity's in there."

Pinkie looked at me like she was bored and I said, "Hey Pinkie, these are the kind of people that want to par-tay! I'll let you figure out the rest."

She immediately smiled and shot away. "Yo Dash, how 'bout a race?" I asked her.

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

I moved to the side of the boat, then jumped off, causing people to run to the side and try to help me. I soared into the air and Dash joined me. "First around the boat wins." I said.

"3... 2-1!" she shouted, dashing ahead. (ha, dash pun.)

I sped up next to her and we raced around the ship. We finished in a dead tie, not even Pinkie could call it. We were applauded by the others on board, most likely thinking it was planned.

I looked around and saw that my friends were having a blast. "Drop the Finn bomb!" I said. I stopped flying and dropped to the pool. When I was about an inch above the water near Fluttershy, I stopped myself and made a splash sound. I slid into the water and swam around for a while.

Eventually, I got bored and got out, a few seconds after Fluttershy. I headed over to the hot tub to relax, as I had mentioned earlier. I saw that Rarity was indeed relaxing in it. "I could either prank her, or do something nice for her." I said to myself, thinking of a way to do each.

I flipped a coin, and it told me to do something nice. I walked over to her, sat down and started rubbing her shoulders. She quickly looked back, surprised, then smiled. She settled back down and said, "I didn't know that you were a masseur."

"I'm not, I just know how." I said.

"That's a bit odd."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Isn't a bad talent to have if you wanna impress."

"But you already have a girlfriend, Luna." she said, moving away a little.

My wings started to move on their own, and I cursed them for the first time since I got them. At least no pony folk see me, I hope.

"Er.. That might've came out wrong. You know what I mean, right?"

She laughed and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

I heard some laughing from behind me, then I looked back and saw Dash. "Hey Rarity, look out..."

I dived at her and tackled her to the ground. I wrestled with her for a few seconds, then managed to cover her mouth. "Tell anybody, and I'll cut ya." I said.

She laughed, and Rarity turned to look at us. "What did I miss? Why are you on top of Rainbow Dash?"

I got off of Rainbow and she kept on laughing. "Alright, I won't say. You just gotta do something for me."

"Don't have me kill anyone, and I'll do it, probably."

"I want you to walk over to Fluttershy, and give her a big kiss."

"You're trying to piss me off, aren't you?" She started laughing again. "Well it's working!"

"Do it, or I'll tell Rarity." I looked back at Rarity, who was relaxing again. Then I thought of a way around this. "Yes or no?"

I had an evil smile when I found out what to do. I looked into her eyes, and she blushed. "Oh Rainbow Dash, are you sure you want me to kiss... Fluttershy?" I said.

"Uh... What do you mean by that?" she asked nervously.

"I don't think that you want me to kiss her, I think that you want me to kiss... you."

"What are you talking about?"

I took a step closer to her, and lightly grabbed her hand. I leaned in closer to her, stroked her hair, and whispered in her ear, "Dashie..."

POMF

I started to laugh uncontrollably. "Fuck I'm smooth."

She looked confused, then angry. "That wasn't funny!" she yelled.

"Seems pretty funny to me."

"Shut up!"

"Oh lighten up, Dasher. It was just a prank."

She thought about it, then said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

She flew off and quickly disappeared from view. "That was too close for comfort. Maybe that wasn't the best of ideas, but it was ok."

I looked up and noticed that the sun was darting around the sky. "Did Luna get Celestia drunk?" I asked. "Every fuckin' day I gotta put up with this. Damn reposts are getting out of hand."

I flew into the air and headed to where Princess Celestia was. She was a bit drunk. An empty high-proof bottle with a hole in the bottom was next to her on a table. It seemed to have been melted. Everybody around her was looking at her like she was a monster.

I flew down and Luna ran over to me, smiling. "My sister can really hold, or at least that's what they said."

"Did she open that hole in that bottle over there?" I asked.

"Yeah, she did it while she was drinking it, then she chugged it all down."

"Well..."

I walked over to her and she looked at me. She laughed and kept moving her hand around, making the sun move as well. "Hey man, how've you been?"

"Ok, I guess. Listen, you gotta put the sun back."

"Why do I gotta do that?"

"Because if the sun is thrown off, you could kill all humans."

"Fine." she said, unhappily.

She returned it to the original position, then turned to me. "How much did you drink?" I asked.

She grabbed two bottles from the ground, also with holes in them, and put them on the table. "These three."

"You shotgunned 3 100-proof liters?"

"In three minutes!" she said, as if it were an accomplishment.

"And you're not dead yet. That's quite a feat."

"It's been a while since I last felt like this, but I'm hardly buzzed. Maybe I should have more."

I backed away slowly, and said to Luna, "Don't let her kill herself, or anybody else for that matter."

"Is this dangerous?"

"Not for her, she can handle too much alcohol for her own good. When she hits the limit, she's gonna act really weird. That's when you should stop her."

"I'll try."

"What d'ya mean, 'there's no more?'" shouted Princess Celestia.

I laughed, and said, "Never mind. There isn't enough beer in the world to get her drunk. Well, maybe The One Beer."

"What's that?"

"Once there was a man who's tolerance was so high, normal beer didn't affect him. He made The One Beer in hopes of getting drunk, but it was stolen by a hobo. If a normal human even takes a sip, they'll black out and wake up on a roof near the park four hours later. Through a long process that spanned about two weeks, the hobo was forced to drink it all and dispose of the can near a volcano. I think it was Mt. Can or something like that."

"That was an odd story."

"That's what happens when hobos have wars. Anyways, did you coax her into drinking?"

"No, she did that on her own."

Celestia walked over to us, grumbling about the lack of alcohol. "So Princess, what are you gonna do now?" I asked.

"Maybe I'll take another swim."

"Maybe. I'm out." I said. "I got things to do, at a place. Well, Four things. Well four things, and a lizard."

"A lizard?"

"Maybe, anyways, see ya later."

I headed over to where Fluttershy had been, and she was surrounded by a moderate sized group. I flew next to it and pushed my way through.

"Phil!" said Fluttershy.

"Hey, Fluttershy."

"Remember when you said anything for me?"

"What do ya need?"

"I want these people away from me, if you don't mind that is."

I moved right next to Fluttershy and faced the crowd. "Alright, nothing to see here, return to your everyday business." I said, attempting to shoo them away.

"We wanna see her wings!" somebody said.

"You wanna see wings? I'll show ya wings!"

I opened my wings and sent them all a few feet away with a gust of air. "Hey Fluttershy, let's go."

"Ok."

We started to walk away, then I saw Rarity walking around. I walked over to her, bowed, and said, "Bonjour, mademoiselle, would you care to join us?"

"Where are you going?"

"Just heading back. So how 'bout it?" I asked.

"Alright, I was getting a bit pruney anyways."

I got them some towels, then we walked back together. We got to where we were staying just as it was getting dark.

"Phil, what was Rainbow Dash laughing about?" asked Rarity.

"Nothing important."

"But when I looked back, you had tackled her to the ground."

"Nothing... significant?" I said.

"But..."

I held up my hand and said, "Nope."

She walked over to Fluttershy and whispered something to her. Fluttershy took a step and said, "Phil, why was Rainbow Dash laughing?"

All the smile that I had on my face disappeared. "Damn it, Rarity. Alright fine. Truth is..." I couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. "I got a wingboner when I was giving you a massage, and Dash saw me."

They both looked at me, shocked. "I can see why you were reluctant to tell me." said Rarity, looking away.

POMF

We both looked at Fluttershy, and Rarity giggled a little.

"Well Phil, if that was why Rainbow Dash was laughing, why did she yell at you?" asked Rarity.

I ran to the door, opened it, and ran away. No way am I answering that question.

I tripped over a string and fell face first into a cream pie. I got up and realized that I had started a prank war. I heard giggling, then Pinkie came out from nowhere, said, "Think fast!" Then she pelted me in the face with another pie.

"Forgot about her. Get back here you pink pony-human!" I said.

She ran off and I ran after her, unable to catch up no matter how close I got. It must've been her Pinkie sense. I made a pie out of pie, pie flavored, then teleported myself right in front of her.

She ran right into the pie, face first. I teleported away as fast as I could, then threw up overboard. "That was not a good idea. What was I thinking? I can't teleport!" I said.

She appeared right next to me and asked, "What flavor was that?"

"Pie flavor."

A guitar note was heard, and I looked for the source. With none to be had, I turned back, only to get pied again, this time by Rainbow Dash. She smashed the pie in my face and threw me overboard. I hovered in the air, wiped my face, then chucked a pie at each of them. I missed Rainbow, and Pinkie swallowed it whole.

This battle of pies went of for a very long time, and with pie being non-lethal, to most, and a never ending supply of them, the only thing that managed to stop our battle was tiredness. Eventually, after three hours of terrorizing the boat with pies, we had thrown our last pie.

"Truce?" I asked.

"Truce." they both said.

We were all covered from head to toe in pie. Pinkie stepped out of the pie on her and it kept it's shape, like a shell, then ate the pie-shell.

"Hey Pinkie, you still got some in your hair." I said.

"Looks like I'm bathing tonight." she said.

"Same here." I said.

"Yeah, me too."

"Ooo! maybe we can all bathe together!" said Pinkie happily.

POMF

"No, not happening." me and Dash said together.

Pinkie laughed and pointed at both of us. "You both got..."

We both pied her and both said, "We know what we have."

She just kept laughing. "Alright, Pinkie, let's head back." I said.

"Yeah, I haven't been this tired since I took care of the cake twins."

"Ha. I remember that. It was made even more funny due to the fact that you looked like Mr. Gumby. DOCTOR! MY BRAIN HURTS!"

"Brains can't feel pain. Silly." said Pinkie.

"True dat."

We headed back to the room. Our friends were there, and Rarity was washing herself. Looks like it's time to play the waiting game. I jumped into the ocean and got rid of what came off. I came back with four rolls of duct tape, acquired through magical means. I unrolled them, and made a square out of duct tape.

"Was there any ulterior motive for doing that?"

"None whatsoever." I said, making it disappear.

I made another roll appear, then set it down, because duct tape is always useful to have. "You, you're the ring leadah. Get in the fridge." I said to nobody in particular.

"I wanna get in the fridge too." said Pinkie.

"Are you two feeling alright?"

"Peachy as Pinkie."

"Peachy as Phil."

"That's paradoxical right there. It's like following someone who's following you." I said.

"Quite right."

"There can be only one explanation..."

"Fairy Godparents!" I shouted.

The water in the bathroom stopped running, and Rarity stepped out, clothed in pajamas.

"And on this day in history, the bathroom was made useful." I said.

"Oh c'mon, I wasn't in there for that long." said Rarity.

I tapped my wrist as if I had a watch and said, "Oh dear, look at the time."

"Rainbow Dash, what are you covered in?" asked Rarity, horrified.

"Pie, and lots of it."

"I hope it doesn't stain."

"Your turn, Rainbow." said Pinkie.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." she said. She headed in, took a quick shower, and came back out, wrapped in a towel.

Pinkie was next, than me.

We all started to fall asleep, and I thought about the day. I decided to sleep with one eye open. Since it wasn't possible, I was forced to sleep with the danger of pies.