//------------------------------// // Aftermath // Story: Brony in Equestria: The Tacoing // by Omega Dracomancer //------------------------------// "Alright, first things first. Time to head to Fluttershy's house. Gotta get me some personal property." I said, "Now, where the hell it is from here? Better ask somepony." I walked to the first pony I saw. When I started to talk to her, she ran off. "Are these ponies scared of me? Maybe, time to try again." Then I walked to another pony, and the same thing happened. "Ok, time to blindly walk around until I see a pony I know, or Fluttershy's house." So I made off for some random direction. "Look, it's him." "Why is he here?" "What's he going to do to us?" "Did I unconsciously terrorize the town while I was supposed to be in the hospital? Nah, even sleeping I probably don't hurt anypony. Man this sucks. Why are these ponies scared of me. The hell happened while I was sleeping?" Then I saw my favorite pony that tries to act like a human, and the only pony that I know of that acts like a human, going into a shop. "Lyra!" I called after her. She turned around and called back, "Human!" I reached her and said, "Oh yeah, I never told you my name. I'm Phil. Anyways, what's going on here? Why am I getting so many mean looks?" "They're scared of you, Phil." "Yes, I saw that. What I want to know is why they are." "That I don't know for sure, my guess would be that the rumors of you beating a dragon got way too out of hand." "What's that supposed to mean?" "This morning I heard somepony say, 'The human that killed the dragon is getting out of the hospital today, I hope he doesn't go for us next.' I thought that the dragon didn't die." "The dragon's dead? Fluttershy told me that he was just knocked out. I don't want to kill anything, even if it is evil. Damn it. Well, they are rumors, maybe it was just knocked out. Ok, enough about that, where is Fluttershy's cottage from here?" She told me where it was. "Thanks, see ya later Lyra." I started to walk away, and Lyra resumed her shopping. Then I heard, "Get out of here! We saw you talking with that monster, plotting with it. Stay away from my shop!" I turned around and saw Lyra get shoved out of the doorway. I walked over to her and asked if she was ok. She nodded and said, "Looks like I won't be doing any shopping today." "No, you will be shopping if you want. You'll see." I assured her. Then I walked to the door of the shop that she tried to go into and knocked on it. "Go away monster! You're not welcome here." said the owner. "Hey, let her in, she's done nothing wrong. I don't need to come in, but she needs to get some shopping done." I said calmly. "I don't trust you. Get away from my shop!" he repeated. "Alright, fine. If you don't let her into your shop, I swear that I will hunt you down and rip your head from your neck!" I yelled. "Alright man, just be cool! I'll let her shop, just don't hurt me." he pleaded, opening the door. I turned to Lyra and said, "If anybody else gives you trouble for what they blame me for, come talk to me. I'll get it sorted out, I just hope that they will respond better then him." I pointed at the shop owner, who was cowering in a corner, "I don't want to have to threaten anypony else. See ya!" Then I walked to where she said Fluttershy's cottage was. I kept walking for about 10 minutes and started to lose interest. "I gotta get there soon or I'll forget what I was doing. Hope I didn't make a wrong turn. Curse you bad memory. Oh there it is." I said, seeing the cottage. I went up to the door and knocked a few times. I didn't get any answer, so I called, "Fluttershy, are you home?" Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. "Is that a chicken? No wait, it's Scootaloo! Same thing. The two are interchangeable. What's she doing here?" I heard her say, "This is going to be the best night ever!" I walked over and saw the other two of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I said, "Hey you three, 'nother sleepover at Fluttershy's cottage?" They saw me, screamed, and ran off into the woods. "Wait up, don't go into the Everfree forest! Remember what happened last time you did that?" I yelled after them. They hid behind some trees and I walked in after them. "Come on, I won't hurt ya." I said. Then I walked straight into a correctly made pitfall trap. "Sonova... I just got out of the hospital." "We got him girls!" said Sweetie Bell. "Cutie Mark Crusaders monster hunters!" said Apple Bloom. "We caught the monster!" said Scootaloo. "How come every time you go into these woods, you try to catch a monster?" I asked. "How did you know that?" asked Scootaloo. "I'm magic!" I said. I wanted to have some fun with them, so I added, "Did you dig this hole, Scootaloo?" "Yeah, it was hard work." she replied. "Huh, I didn't know that chickens could dig." Then I laughed. Applebloom and Sweetie Bell burst out in laughter and Scootaloo said, "I'm gonna get you for this!" "But I must admit, this is a good hole. It's wide enough for me to do this!" I said as I ran towards a wall. I placed my foot on the wall, and kicked myself up. I grabbed onto a root that was at the top, and pulled myself up. "That was more fun than I thought it would be." I said, "Alright girls, it's time to get out of the forest, remember the last time? Cockatrice and all, and the chicken." I looked at Scootaloo when I said the last part, and the other two started laughing again. "Shut up." she said. "I need to go see Fluttershy, would you care to accompany me?" I asked, already walking away. "Wait up!" We walked to Fluttershy's cottage, and she was looking for them. She was comically looking under a small rock, and then I d'awwed. "What was that, Phil?" asked Apple Bloom. "That was so cute." I said. "Huh?" "Never mind." "Alright then." "Fluttershy!" I yelled. Then she fell over like a goat. "Is she gonna be ok?" asked Sweetie Bell. "Give her a minute, she'll be just fine." I said, sitting down. After a minute, she got up and ran over to us. "Where were you three? You nearly gave me a heart attack." she said to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "They're safe now, that's all that matters, right?" I said. "Phil! When did you get here?" "Awhile back, I saw these three go into the forest, so I followed them, and fell into a pitfall trap they dug earlier." "They did what?" she asked. "Dug a pitfall trap. No biggy." I said. "Alright, if you're ok with it." "Totally fine. Anyways, Do you still have my Nokia Knuckles?" I asked her. "No, I gave it to Twilight so she could study it. I hope that it was ok." she responded. "Alright, thanks! Looks like I'm off to Twilight's house now. See ya." I said, walking away. "Alright, now where is Twilight's tree? Looks like it's time to walk blindly again!" I said, walking blindly. "Where you headed, Phil?" asked a familiar voice. "Applejack! I'm going to Twilight's house, can you tell me where it is?" She told me, "Alright, cool. See ya later!" Then I walked away, and my stomach started rumbling. "Twilight can wait, first stop is Sugarcube Corner. Wait, I don't have any bits. Guess I gotta start a tab. Oh well, I'm good with paying things off." "Don't worry, Phil! Cupcakes are on me today!" I heard a pony say. "I can always count on you, can't I Pinkie?" I said. "You got that right!" "Can you take me there? I can't remember where it is." "Okie dokie lokie!" she said, bouncing away. I ran to keep up with her, but she didn't slow down, so I had to keep running. "Slow down a notch Pinkie!" I said. "Doesn't matter, we're here!" she said with a smile. "That was easier than expected." I said walking inside. "Wait here a minute!" said Pinkie. I leaned up against a wall and put my hands in my pocket. I felt something in there that I hadn't noticed before. I pulled it out and saw my iPod, not even damaged. "A winrar is me!" I said. Then I put it back in my pocket, "Later." After a minute, Pinkie came out of the kitchen with 17 cupcakes on a plate. Needless to say, they were gone a half hour later. "Thanks for that, Pinkie. They are still the best damn cupcakes I've ever eaten." I said. "See ya around, Phil!" she said as I walked out. "Alright, onwards to Twilight's." I said, walking in what I thought was the right direction. I saw her house in about 5 minutes and said to myself, "My luck's about to run out, I've been too lucky in this world. Oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." Then I thought about it, "I know what's gonna go down, poison joke, oh well." I went up to the door and knocked on it. "Come in." said Twilight. I went in and the place was an absolute mess. "Did Spike figure out that the floor is the biggest shelf?" "Oh, hi Phil! And no, I did this." she said. "What've you been doing in here, reading books?" I asked with a laugh. "Yes… that's exactly what I was doing, how did you know?" "Lucky guess. Anyways, do you still have my Nokia Knuckles?" "Yes, it's right over here." she said, walking over to the basement. She opened the door and I followed her. She walked down the stairs and used her magic to levitate a box over to us. She opened it and inside was my indestructible device. "Aw yeah!" I said, "Hey, did you happen to find out what type of god-like material this was made out of, or is it just super-plastic?" "Well, it is made out of some material not found on this world." she replied. "You don't have plastic on this world?" She nodded. "That's probably a good thing, plastic causes too much pollution." "Then it must be a good thing that we don't have it, I guess." "Probably. So anyways, can I have it back?" "Sure, I can't figure it out anyways, just like the Pinkie sense." she said, handing it to me. She looked unhappy, so I said, "Don't worry about it, Twilight. The reason that you couldn't get it is because it wasn't made in Equestria, it was made on my planet, Earth. I know a lot about this, but I can never figure out what it is. Nothing is indestructible, it shouldn't be physically possible, like the Pinkie sense, but it is." "I get what your saying, thanks." she said, cheering up. "Onwards to upstairs!" I said, walking upstairs. When I got up there, I nearly tripped on a book. "Yo Twilight, need help cleaning this up?" I asked, immediately regretting it. "Yes please, I made quite a mess." she said. "Damn it," I said under my breath, "Speaking of messes, where's Spike?" "He's in Canterlot picking up some books that I don't have here." she said, starting to put books away. I picked up some books and put them on a shelf, trying to keep them in alphabetical order. After a while, we were done with the books and I asked, "Have you seen my backpack? I haven't seen it since before the dragon incident." "I think that Rarity has it." "Did she want to use it in fashion?" "Yeah, and I think that she said that she wants to make some changes to it." "Of course she does. When did she say this?" "Two weeks ago." "So, in which general direction should I head to so I can find her?" "Her shop is down the road." she said, pointing. "Alright, cool. See ya later." I said, walking out of the library. I arrived at the Carousel Boutique quickly and knocked on the door. "Come in!" I heard Rarity say. "Hey Rarity, it's Phil." I said, walking in. "Phil! You have got to see what I have done with your backpack. It looks absolutely marvelous!" she said with a large amount of excitement. "I really want to see what you've done with it." I said. She led me into the other room, and I saw my backpack on a stand. "Whoa, I didn't know that backpacks could be cool, but somehow, you've managed to fix up my backpack beyond awesomeness." I said, marveling in it's awe. "It took me quite some time, but I managed to make it look better." "Why did it take you so long? Was it so awesome that it was hard to improve?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "Well no, it was so hard because it looked so horrible that I didn't know how to fix it." "I knew that." I said, walking over to grab my backpack. "Beyond expectations, Rarity." "Oh yes, I know darling." she said proudly. I grabbed it and put it on. "It feels like nothing is even there! How is this even possible?" "Well first I..." she started. "Wait, this kind of knowledge wouldn't help me anyways. Besides, to me, it doesn't matter how it was done. Thank you Rarity, how can I ever repay you?" "You saved the town from a dragon single hoofdedly, I think that that's enough payment for me." "I wasn't by myself, Rainbow Dash took me into the air. But if you insist..." I said, taking the backpack. "Thanks Rarity." "It's the least that I could do darling." "See ya later Rarity!" I said, walking out the door. "Come back soon darling!" After I left the shop, I said, "What now? What the hell do I do now? Whatever..."