We arrived at Sugarcube corner and went inside. Pinkie went into the kitchen and told me to make sure nopony steals anything while she's gone. "Ha! Crime in Equestria? That's a good one." I laughed.
When she came back from the kitchen, she had a plate full of cupcakes. My mouth started to water and Pinkie said, "Dig in!"
After about 20 minutes, I had eaten 7 cupcakes, and Pinkie many more. "Damn good cupcakes!" I said.
"I know! I made them." she laughed.
"So Pinkie, what do you wanna do now?" I asked bored.
"Let's go back to Twilight."
"Might as well!" I replied.
When we got outside, I saw something odd. It was a pony wheeling around a backpack with wheels. "Wait a minute, that's my backpack!" I said to myself.
"What was that?" asked Pinkie.
"Gonna have to take a rain check on Twilight's place right now. That pony has my backpack. Ima get it back!" I said, walking towards her.
"Don't hurt anypony Phil." she said.
"Don't worry Pinkie." I had almost lost sight of the pony with my backpack and had to speed up. When I was close enough, I yelled, "Hey you, with the bag! Wait up!"
She ignored me and sped up to try to lose me. She looked like she was trying to get home, so I followed her.
"I know you heard me!" I yelled. Then she took a turn towards a house and went inside. I looked at the house, and saw Bon-bon outside watering the flowers next to the house. I went up to her and asked her, "Is Lyra home?"
"Well she just got here, who are you?" she asked.
"Tell you later, I think that Lyra has my backpack."
"What's a backpack?"
"It's a bag that I use, mine is black and has wheels, and is uncommon. I saw her walk here with it, or a similar one. I could be wrong though, but I need to make sure." I answered.
"Well, that's quite alright, I'll go get her for you."
Just then we heard a scream. "OW! That stings!" we heard.
"Lyra!" we both yelled, running inside.
"What was that thing?" she asked, dazed.
"You probably found my Nokia Knuckles. Did you happen to tap yourself with anything in my bag?" I asked.
"Well yes, there was this weird thing in the bag, I picked it up and tapped my hoof with it. It stung like a bee sting!" she said.
"Yup, that's the Nokia Knuckles for you. But enough about that, why did you ignore me when I called to you?" I asked.
"I wanted to know more about humans. I knew it was yours and I knew you were a human, so…" she started.
"Eh, whatever, doesn't matter." I said cheerfully, "If you wanted to know more about humans, you should've just asked. So the next time you have a question, ask me. Starting tomorrow, busy today."
"Busy with what?" she asked.
"Nothing." Then I laughed. "Alright, see ya later Lyra, Bon-bon. Then I waved goodbye and walked out.
I walked to Twilight's house and saw Pinkie and Twilight there. "What's up?" I said.
"Nothing important." said Pinkie.
"She's right, nothing at all." said Twilight.
"You're a terrible liar Twilight, but then again, so am I." I said, seeing through her lie.
"Well, we were…" she started.
"Wait! If you want to keep it secret, I don't want to hear it." I said.
Pinkie smiled and said, "You're alright man."
Then we all heard a roar. A very loud roar. "Whoa! That could've even woke Rainbow Dash from sleeping." I said, covering my ears. "What the hell is going on? Is it a manticore?"
"No, manticore can't roar that loud, this was a dragon!" said Twilight, worried.
"We got a problem on our hands!" said Pinkie, "I'm going to get our friends!"
"No time, Pinkie! Just get Rainbow, I got an idea." I shouted.
"I'll be back before you can blink!" she said, hopping out of the doorway, and within a few seconds, she came back with Dash, who was confused as to what had just transpired.
"What's going on here?" she asked.
"Big angry dragon!" I said, reaching into my backpack. "I need you to take me up there." I said, pointing out the window at the dragon's head. "Can you do it?"
"Can I do it? Of course! Who do you think you're dealing with here?" she said. "Hop on my back, and I'll take you up."
"Awesome." I said, climbing onto her back. Within seconds we were off of the ground and flying towards the dragon.
"What are you going to do Phil?" she asked.
"I'm going to punch that dragon in the face." I said, putting on my Nokia Knuckles.
"Are you crazy?" she screamed just as we flew right over the dragon's head.
"Absolutely!" I shouted back, jumping off. I dived for the dragon's forehead and pulled my fist back.
"PHIL!" she yelled, diving after me.
I was going too fast and she couldn't catch me. I flipped until my head was up, and pulled my fist further back. As soon as I got to the dragon, I punched it with all of my might, and hitting dead center on my target. The dragon's scales cracked, broke, and shattered when I hit it, and it's head was thrown towards the ground. It hit the ground, and I landed on top of it, slightly cushioning my fall, but not enough.
"Are you ok Phil?" I heard Twilight say.
"You don't look so good." said Pinkie.
"Don't worry about it you two." I said weakly, giving a thumbs up. Then I felt something on my head, and reached up to examine it. My hand was covered in blood. "Maybe I'm not ok." Then I laughed, and everything went black.
I woke up on a hospital bed. I sat up, and realized that it was a bad idea, because my stomach and head started to hurt. "Damn it, looks like I'm bedridden. Oh well." I said nonchalantly. I had just fought a dragon after all.
"Oh, you're up!" said the nurse.
"Yup, I'm up Nurse Redheart." I said, putting my left arm behind my head. My right arm was broken because I punched the dragon. "What happened to me?"
"After you punched the dragon, your arm broke, and the object that was on your hand broke 3 fingers, and when you landed, you broke a leg, severely bruised your stomach, suffered a major concussion, and broke seven ribs." she said.
"Well shit, looks like ima stay here for a while." I said, getting comfy.
"You've already been here a while, 4 days as a matter of fact." she said.
My jaw dropped in amazement, "Whoa, 4 days? That's cool. What happened around town while I was out?" I asked.
"Nothing major, they moved the dragon out of Ponyville, fixed the damages to buildings, and some ponies even came to visit you." she said.
"Twilight and the gang?" I asked.
"Them and many more. About half of the town came to visit you."
"That was quite unexpected. Of course I did save the town from a dragon with one punch while sustaining major injuries." I said happily.
"Yes you did, and you're lucky to be alive."
"I know. Lucky me." I said, falling back asleep.
When I woke up the next time, I was still in the hospital bed, and was still bored as hell. I couldn't move very much, or I would hurt myself, so I just sat up and looked around. It felt better because my wounds had healed a bit, but not very much. I saw that Nurse Redheart was right, ponies had come to visit me, because there were lots of presents on the floor. Then there was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" I said. The door opened and Pinkie Pie burst through the doorway. "Hey Pinkie! How's it going?"
"Better than you are" she said.
"Got that right!"
"So, how long you in for?"
"About a month. Then I can probably leave this boring place." I said.
"Well, sucks for you!" she said.
"Alright Pinkie, spill it, whatcha here for?" I asked.
"We just thought that we should check up on you."
"We?"
"Yup!" said Twilight, walking in. The other four of the Mane 6 followed suit and came in after her.
"Hey! How you all been?" I asked.
"We've been fine, how 'bout you?" asked Dash.
"I'm good, seems like I'll be in here for about a month. This is gonna be one long ass month. But of course, when you fight a dragon, you would probably be in here longer. I got lucky. Lucky, lucky me." I said with a smile.
"That was pretty stupid what you did." said Rainbow, "Jumping from my back and trying to punch a dragon. That is probably the stupidest thing that I've ever heard of."
"But if you look at it from my point of view, you wouldn't be so down about it. I got a ride from one of my favorite ponies and punched a dragon so hard that it shattered his scales and knocked him out in one hit. It was the best goddamn day of my life!" I said.
"That was one heck of a punch. I just can't see how you broke that dragon's scales. Dragon scales are almost invincible!" said Applejack.
"I used my Nokia Knuckles. The Nokia is a device that you use to talk to somebody over large distances, and this particular model is completely indestructible. It is a weapon that I can attach to my fist to increase the power of my punch. I had it specially made for that. In my world, I could've used it to knock someone's lights out, and call a doctor for them with the same thing." I explained, "Speaking of which, where is it?"
"I have it." said Fluttershy.
"Really? Where did you find it? I lost it after I punched the dragon."
"It was lodged in the dragon's scales. I pulled it out after I made sure that he wasn't dead."
"Sweet, my fist was found and the dragon's not dead. That's awesome." I said. "What was the dragon doing in Ponyville anyway?"
"He was hungry, he was looking for meat." said Fluttershy.
"And the only meat around these parts is pony meat. That might be problematic in the future, I just don't know when. Probably a long ways away."
Then we exchanged meaningless information, and the ponies left. Before I knew it, the month was up, and I was able to leave the hospital and go back to my life as a brony in Equestria.