//------------------------------// // Journey to Equestria // Story: Brony in Equestria: The Tacoing // by Omega Dracomancer //------------------------------// I lived an average life, went to school, came home, and played on the internet. That was about it. Then everything changed for the better. While I was walking home from school one day, listening to music, I saw something odd. I walked closer and it was something that I would've never expected to be there. It was Derpy Hooves. "Derpy?" I said, taking my earbuds out of my ears. She looked at me, then flew away. "Hey! Wait up!" I ran after her. She seemed to be leading me somewhere. She flew over a fence, down a hill, and through a hole in an abandoned building. I hesitated for a minute, then followed her through the hole. She was flying around in the rafters, looking for something. I climbed up after her, and she found a window as soon as I got to the rafters. "What's going on, Derpy?" I asked. She flew out of the window, and without thinking, I jumped out after her. "Bad idea!" I yelled as I fell to the ground. I woke up in the middle of the night. I was in a clearing in a forest. "Where am I? There wasn't a forest where I was. What was Derpy doing, and why did I see her?" I said confused. "What the hell man, why am I here?" "What was that?" asked a familiar voice. "Twilight? Wait a minute, uh.. Hide time." I said, running behind a tree. "What the blueberry fuck is going on here?" "Is someone there?" asked Twilight. I gave up and tried to get out of there, running away from Twilight. I didn't want to freak her out, it was the middle of the night and I was still a human. Maybe tomorrow. I ran towards what I assumed was Applejack's farm. I made it there and thought about my next action. Then my stomach growled. "Looks like I'm eating apples tonight." Then I chuckled. I went to the apple trees and picked some apples, then went back to the Everfree Forest. I ate them then fell asleep up against a tree. "Where did you come from?" asked a filly, waking me up. "What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, this wasn't a dream. "Where did you come from?" repeated the filly. "Applebloom?" I asked. "How do you know my name?" she asked. "I know your sister Applejack." I lied. "I uh… gotta go." "Aren't ya gonna stay for brunch?" she asked, looking so goddamn cute. "No, I can't." I said, moving into the Everfree. "Who are you talking to, Applebloom?" asked Applejack, as I ran back into the forest. "He said that he was your friend Applejack!" said Applebloom. "Where did he go?" asked Applejack. I wasn't anywhere in sight by the time Applejack got to Applebloom. I ran further into the woods and thought about what to do. "I could go talk to Twilight, she might know what to do." So I made my way to Twilights house. "I have no idea where I'm going." I said, then I moved to the edge of the forest. As it turns out, I did have an idea about where I was going, because I saw Twilights house right in front of me. "Yayuh! Got to Twilight's!" I said to myself. I looked in a window and saw that Twilight was inside. I knocked on the front door and she said, "Come in!" I slipped inside and went to talk to Twilight. "Twilight? I need to talk to you!" I said. "Who is that?" she asked. Then she saw me, "What are you?" "Er… I'm a human." I said, "And my name is Phil." "How did you know my name?" she asked. "I can't tell you." "Why not?" "You'd prolly freak out." "And what would you say if I don't believe you?" "I don't know, would you like to know?" "Yes I would." I thought for a moment, then said, "Bring your friends here, then I'll tell you all. I was brought here for a reason, and if I'm going to stay, then I want to know your friends. Who knows, maybe we'll have an adventure!" Her ears perked up at the word adventure. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Go talk to Spike and tell him that I said you could stay here for a minute." she said, walking out of the library. I walked around a bit and found Spike eating some food. "Hi Spike!" I said cheerfully. "AHH! Don't do that! You nearly gave me a heart attack." he said with a surprised look on his face. "Heart attacks won't be good for Twilight's number one assistant." I joked. "Well of course that would be bad…" he said turning to face me, "AAHH! A MONSTER!" "Spike, stop worrying! Twilight said that I could stay here for a bit while she goes to get her friends. I need to tell them something, and you might as well join to, don't want to retell a story." I said, trying to calm him down, "Damn reposts." I said under my breath. "What was that last part?" he asked. "Nothing important." "Alright then, that it?" "Yeah, I guess so. See ya in about 20 minutes, Spike." I said, walking into the library. I tried to pick out an interesting book, but I couldn't understand any, so I put them back. "Must be written in Equestrian." I said to myself. I got bored after about 2 minutes, so I took out my iPod and started to listen to music. "Alright, let's see what shuffle has for me today. HA! How tacorific. Ponies and Renard, my two favorite things. Today's gonna be lucky." I said as the first song was Rainbow Dash Likes Girls. I decided to set it on loop, and quickly fell asleep. "Phil? Wake up, Phil." said a voice that I could barely hear. "Hold on a minute, I know what'll wake him!" said a louder voice. "Rainbow Dash?" I said so quietly that not even Fluttershy could hear. I heard Rainbow come back with something splashing around. "Dash wait!" "Not good!" I said to myself. When the splashing stopped, for a split-second, my reflexes took over, and I jumped up, grabbed the bucket of water from her hooves and yelled, "Not in the library!" This caused her and everypony else to jump backwards, and also caused my earbuds to come out of my ears. Dash was breathing heavily and Fluttershy fainted. It was so cute, I had to physically resist the urge to D'AWWWWWW! I looked in the bucket and saw not only water, but also Gummy the alligator. I rolled up my hoodie sleeve, and reached in the bucket to get him. "What are you doing in here, Gummy?" "Gummy!" said Pinkie Pie hopping over to me. When she got to me, Gummy jumped out of my hands and clamped down on my neck. "This is the most ticklish thing that has ever happened to me." I laughed, trying to get Gummy off. "Gummy! Let go of him." said Pinkie. The alligator jumped off of my neck and clamped itself on Pinkie's tail. "That was fun, this world is fun." I said with a laugh. "Enough horseplay." said Applejack. "Ha, horseplay." "Yeah, why are we here?" asked Rarity. Then she looked at my clothes. She started to say something, but I put my hand up. "Let me guess what you were going to say, 'Those clothes are atrocious! Where did you find those rags?' Is that about right?" I asked. "Yes, how… how did you know that I was going to say that?" "All in good time, Rarity." I said. "What is this music? It sounds like Twilight's singing it." asked Rainbow from behind me. She had been behind me listening to the song the whole time. "Er… I uh… don't want to tell you the name, you personally may find it offensive, Dash." "Why would that be? It sounds awesome!" she said with a smile. "Don't say I didn't warn you, but the song is called," then I paused for a moment, "Rainbow Dash Likes Girls." "WHAT?" she screamed angrily, jerking her head up and the earbuds out of her ears. "Who the hell would name their song that?" Then she looked away trying to hide her blushing. I collected the earbuds and put them in my pocket. "Don't ask me why that name was used. No idea. I think that it's a funny name, but I don't agree with it." I said, trying to cheer her up without lying. "It was a ok song." she said with a chuckle. "Opinions, opinions. Alright, now back to the matter at hand, you want to know where I came from. Where's Spike, he should write this down and send it to Princess Celestia." "How did you know about the Princess?" asked Twilight. "Touch of magic." I Said. Spike came into the room a moment later with some paper and writing device. First I told them how I got here, by following Derpy out of a window, which was a stupid idea. Rainbow laughed after I said that. "There is another part, much more important. This is the hard part, and I was trying to avoid it for as long as I could, but now I can't anymore. Hold up a minute." I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and searched for the my little pony wiki. "This entire world was something that many people could watch whenever they wanted. A TV show. We could view some days, as far back as when you defeated Nightmare Moon and turned her into Princess Luna." I pulled up a page that had that episode summary. "Hey Twilight, can you enlarge this?" I asked pointing at my iPod. "I'll try." she said. Her horn started to glow, and so did my iPod. After a minute, it grew to twice the size of an ipad. "Whoa, this made it at least 20% cooler." I said looking it over for signs of damage. Dash's ears perked up after hearing me say that and was about to say something, but I held up my hand and said, "All in due time Dash." "Why did you have me do that?" asked Twilight. "Look, your adventures fixing the Nightmare Moon are all on here." I said, pointing to it. "Er… can you read this?" "Yes we can." said Twilight. "That sucks. We both speak the same language, and you can read English, but I can't read Equestrian. Oh well." "You're right." said Twilight, eyes enlarging, "The entire adventure with Nightmare Moon. It's all here!" "Yup. What else do you want to know?" I asked, getting bored. "Are there any more things like this on this… um…" asked Twilight. "Ipod." I finished for her. "And yes, absolutely. Here I'll show you." I said. I touched the search bar, and typed in mlp fim ep 1. The show came up and I played the episode. They watched it and I looked around, books everywhere. 'Odd for a library. Usually books are everywhere in a library. Oh wait...' I looked at Pinkie, who was probably as bored as I was. Upon sitting down, I fell asleep again. I was awaken with a knock to the head. I opened my eyes and said, "Who want to know?" "Know what?" "Precisely my pony friend." I said. "So, the big question here is, why am I here? Any leads?" "I don't think so." said Twilight. "No magic anomalies? Surges?" "Nothing that I know of." "Maybe the Princesses could help. Or not. If not, then not. But maybe, so possibly. Always a possibility." "I guess..." "Any chance that I could speak with them? Preferably Princess Luna." "Why Princess Luna?" "Between you and me, Princess Celestia scares me." "She scares us all." said Pinkie. "Quite a possibility." "Hey, you wanna get some cupcakes?" asked Pinkie. "With 143% certainty!" I said happily. "Alright, follow me!" she said, bouncing out of the library. "Well, I hope to see you all again." I said, collecting my now small iPod and exiting via open window. "Twi, why in tarnation didn't he use the door?" asked Applejack. "I have no idea." "Yo Pinkie, wait up!" I said, running after her.