The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody)

by TundraStanza


Lighting Round: Going Out on a High Note

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Triple Lightning Round!

Here, all the fights are settled without waiting for analysis.

Six fighters!

All action!

No research!

Lightning Round!

Start the clock and... go!

(Pony Singers vs. Sirens)

---Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and Countess Coloratura---

Vs.

---Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk---

We are here live at the concert stage arena. Shaded-out stand-ins for people are interspersed with a few pixel persons. Instead of a traditional duel to the death, these divas will try to win the most of the crowd over to their side. First, the orange leaders take their respective spots on opposite stages. The siren floats in the air, while the pony stands firmly on the floor with her guitar strapped around her.

Enter the heat of battle!

Rock on!

Adagio starts with her typical opening line. As she does so, her pendant shines brightly.

~Ah, ah, ah... ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah... ah, ah~

Sunset looks unconvinced. She strums a few basic chords while she waits for an opening. Adagio continues singing.

~Why pretend we're all the same
When some of us shine brighter?~

Some green vapors of distrusting fans flow up into the pendant. According to the charts, about thirty percent of the crowd is leaning toward Adagio's current performance. The rest are undecided.

~You're a star and you should know it.
Yeah, you rise above the rest.
It doesn't matter who you hurt.
All that matters is you're the best.~

As the siren sings her bridging "Ah"s, the pony suddenly levitates the mic on her side and switches up the key and tempo on her guitar strings. It's time for an interruption.

~Everyone here knows who I am
They've all given me a fair chance (Oh whoa oh)
But I can't help feeling that something's missing
It's a lack of magic at a glance~

The combination of notes and words seems to be swaying the folks near the pony's stage. The percentage of crowd favor rises to thirty-three percent for her. This is matched by the screaming and waving of hands.

~I know there's more that's out there
And I haven't quite found it yet
I know there's more that's out there
It's closer than I think, I'll bet~

A times three multiplier gets applied to this performer's scoring. The cheers are loving her. Adagio growls and shoves her backup to center stage. Aria grunts in confusion, but apparently Sonata has already taken up percussion duties for this part of the concert battle. Despite her gruffy attitude, Aria Blaze sings at a much higher pitch than her leader.

~Oh whoa oh, oh whoa oh
You didn't know that you fell
Oh whoa oh, oh whoa oh...~

The crowd closer to her stage suddenly spikes up to forty-five percent. Some mesmerized eyes and bodies send more negative energy toward her. While the bass drum kicks in the background, Sunset quickly finds the notes out of her hooves.

~She should get checked for pink eye
(Yeah, that's disgusting)
Hand contortion is her new vice
(Her hand is twisting)
Acting like they're singing our song
(Cue cello jamming)
But they're getting all the words wrong
(Oh, oh, oh)~

As the drums get a bit more prominent, the pony finds herself dragged to the side by a light blue aura. Apparently, the next in line just can't wait for her turn. Starlight directs a few whistlers to shrill loudly as she matches the beat to her pace.

~Life is a joy in our town
Few would not agree
There's no one here who would frown
It's a taste of harmony...~

The shadowy figures groan and raise their palms to their faces. The pixel people look at Starlight and make thumbs-down motions with what must be their hands. A few of them actually put up their hands with extra-pixelated circles right on top of their hands. The sound effects resemble elongated "Boo"s. As if to reflect their attitude, the percentage drops down to a red one percent.

Sonata suddenly leaps out from the back and slaps Aria to the left. It seems none of the contestants are willing to practice patience tonight. Her beat sounds extremely fast compared to the one she was providing earlier.

~And it's all like a roller coaster
Life's so fast; it's already over
Take a number; here we go
Ohhhhh
Welcome to the show!
(Oh whoa)
Welcome to the show!~

Sparks fly out of the sirens' stage. The crowd goes crazy with approving cheers. The favor gauge hits ninety-seven percent. The unprecedented chaos being emitted just from Sonata singing seems to vibrate into a sonic screech. Starlight goes flying into the back wall from the force alone.

The Countess looks at her fallen ally. She then looks at the leader on her side. Coloratura gives a curt nod, grabs her outfit, and pulls off the extravagant purple jacket and hair extensions all in one sweeping motion. What's left is a fine young pony in a plain, black dress. She trots over to the piano and plays a gentle, yet earnest melody.

The crowd's booing and cheering all goes quiet. The percentages for either side's favor shows nothing but question marks (???). After playing the intro and one run of the chorus, the notes in Rara's cutie mark glow brightly. It's enough to blind the sirens and make them all roar in pain.

~That I am just a pony
I make mistakes from time to time
And now I know the real me
And put my heart out on the line
And let the magic in my heart stay true
(Oh whoa whoa whoa)
And let the magic in my heart stay true
(Oh whoa whoa whoa)
Just like the magic inside of you
Just like the magic inside of you~

This last push seems to be enough to convince the entire crowd to look at Rara. Their cheers and waving hands are quite expressive. Additionally, the favor percentage rises to a whopping one hundred percent. Adagio slams her own stage and rips it all down in fury.

Rara-rockin'!

The winner of this Lightning Round is... Team Shimmer!

Upon their victory pedestal, Rara takes a bow to the audience. Starlight is on her back with stars racing around her head. Sunset is waving a towel over the fallen one's head to try and revive her.

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