*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
What’s going on?
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Where am I?
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
WHAT’S THAT FUCKING NOISE?!?!
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Ugh, my head hurts, my heart is thumping like a drum and I haven’t got the faintest clue where I am. Just great.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
For all I know I might be in a secret cellar of some messed up paedophile.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Or a torture chamber of some sicko trying to annoy me to death with that fucking beeping!
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Wait! My head hurts. MY HEAD HURTS! Why does it hurt? It can’t hurt! I don’t feel pain! I don’t have a head! Except the one that’s buried underground, or my animatronic head… That’s not the point!
*BeepBeepBeep*
And how can my heart pump like a drum, if I haven’t got one!?! Both physically, and mentally. I’m heartless!
*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP*
And is that my heartbeat?!? I can’t have heartbeat. That suggests…
That means…
I’m…
Am I alive?
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
No. I can’t be alive. I died decades ago. There’s no way that can be my heartbeat.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Yeah. That’s not my heartbeat. It’s someone else’s.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
It’s just a coincidence that it started to beat faster when I panicked. Because I’m not alive. Yeah.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
And I didn’t really feel pain. No, that’s just me imagining it. My brain thinks I should feel pain, so it inserts it on its own.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
I mean, it’s not the first time my brain tricked me. I never really felt the pain of my death during all those lonely nights. I never really re-watched myself do that. I never really saw the night guards as him.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
They were just hallucinations. Yeah. This is just a prank Goldie and Bon-Bon are playing on me. They’ll come out soon and we’ll all laugh together.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Any second now…
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
"Patient 13’s heartbeat just spiked. She should be just waking up”
"Will she be okay?”
“I think so. She didn’t seem to have any physical injuries.”
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Or they might just continue it. That works too.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
"Physical injuries? Do you mean…”
“I’m worried her psyche might be damaged. Her body seemed to struggle with basic functions like breathing. Because of the lack of any noticeable injuries on her body that can be the cause of this reaction, which means that this might be because of something that happened to her mind.”
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
"Oh. And I’m guessing that the lack of any health records isn’t helping.”
“No health records, no birth certificates, nothing. We even sent out some letters to neighbouring towns to find something. It’s like she just suddenly appeared out of nowhere.”
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Ha ha ha. So funny guys. Come on. Cut the prank already. This is getting old.
Oh, a door opening. Let me guess. You guys are gonna make me open my eyes, and something will jump out at me, screeching. You guys know this doesn’t work on me. We do the scaring. I’m not scared.
You know what; I’m not gonna open my eyes.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
“Hello?”
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
Nope. I’m not going to fall for this.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
“Are you awake?”
Still not falling for this. I can just lay here all day with my eyes closed.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
“I know you’re awake”
… I’m bored. Let’s get this over and done with.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*
“Please-
Argh! Why is the light so fricking bright! God fricking dammit!
“Are you okay?”
Maybe not so fast. Slowly does it… Oh, so the walls are white too. No wonder it’s so bright.
“Miss?”
What?
Just, what?
Why.
Is there.
A fucking pony!
NEXT TO ME?!?!
“Are you alright?”
No, No, NO!
This isn’t right! Ponies don’t exist. CARTOON ponies don’t exist!
“Is something wrong?”
How can they know I watched that show?! I never told them! How can they know I like this show?!
“I think she might have just gone into shock?”
How did they find out?! More exactly, how did they find out this EXACT character exists?!
“From what?”
Nurse Redheart isn’t a main character! She’s not even a very popular background pony! She’s in hardly any episodes. How. Can. They. Know?
“Many ponies are afraid of hospitals, especially foals. Maybe she’s just afraid. Or she didn’t expect to be here.”
This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.
“That’s not actually too unreasonable.”
No. The fire… No. I didn’t. Reality doesn’t work that way.
Huh. Ha. Ha Ha. Ha ha ha! An undead ghost saying that reality doesn’t work that way. Who says how reality works? No- one really knows what happens after death. Going to a different dimension isn’t any more unreasonable than going to heaven. It’s actually scientifically more reasonable. But what does scientific probability really mean? I mean, according to science there’s no ghosts. Who knows, maybe reality is nothing more than an illusion, the universe only a hologram. Maybe buying gold can save your life. Ha ha. Who knows?
“Still, let’s hope she doesn’t really fall into shock. She might be our only source of information for a while. Plus, we don’t know how her parents would react.”
Oh god. There are people in the room with me. Ponies. Whatever.
“If we can even find her parents, that is.”
How long have they been here? What have they been talking about? Did they talk to me? God dammit! They probably think I’m retarded. How long did I just stare off into space? Why do I always do that?
“Umm” Oh god, is that my voice? I haven’t talked in a long time. Well, not really if you count me using my voice box. Or talking as a ghost… Focus!
“Oh, you’re alright! Thank Celestia, I was starting to wonder if I missed something during my examination.”
Missed something? Are you implying I have brain damage? I do not have brain damage! I’d be very surprised if I had brain damage, considering I didn’t have a body until… When did I appear here?
“Uhh” Goddammit. Talking with a living body is a lot harder than I remembered.
“Don’t worry if you find it hard to talk properly; we didn’t know if you were in pain, so we administered some painkillers. It should become easier to speak soon.”
Painkillers? Yeah, I doubt that’s the only reason. Still, at least it will help me blend in.
“H-How long have I-I been o-out?”
For fuck’s sake, why am I stuttering like I’m terrified. I’m not scared. I’ve died. This is a fricking piece of cake. I’m literally talking to ponies from a kids cartoon.
“You came in yesterday morning.”
There’s someone else here.
…
No duh, Nurse Redheart wouldn’t be talking to herself. She’s sane. Just because I talk to myself doesn’t mean everyone does. Everypony. Whatever.
“You were found on the outskirts of Ponyville. Ponies went out to do their daily morning business, and they found you passed out on the road. You were carried to my castle until Nurse Redheart and the other doctors came to transport you to the hospital.”
Castle. Ponyville. Of course. It’s not just any pony, it’s a fricking OP princess of friendship. It’s everyone’s favourite bookhorse, Twilight Sparkle. And of course she waited outside to find out if I’m okay. I’m actually surprised the other Mane 6 aren’t here.
“The others were worried about you too, but they had to leave. I’ll go tell them. They should come here soon.”
See? They’re coming to visit a random filly in hospital that they found out in the street.
“Ahem, yes Miss Twilight. But can the visits wait for a bit? I would like to perform some basic health check-ups.”
Wow. She’s got nerve. She just told a fricking demigod that. That just there was basically a polite way of saying ‘Get the fuck out’. Geez.
“Oh! Erm, yes, sorry. I’ll leave now.”
But let’s remember that we’re talking about Twilight.
“Thank you. Now, would you mind doing a few things for me?”
What do you want Twilight to do now? Wait, that was for me. Concentrate!
“Yes, I mean no, I mean…” Why can I never concentrate?
“Don’t worry, I understand.”
Thank God you do, because I honestly don’t.
“Now, could you just lift your right hoof? Don’t worry if it’s a bit difficult, you might still be under the painkiller.”
Hoof? Oh, of course, I’m a pony. Why would I not be a pony? It would actually be weirder if I wasn’t a pony. In fact I shouldn’t be surprised. I should have realised this earlier. Instead of panicking like a little kid I should have checked myself. Now, I’m going to be checked by a doctor that is contemplating if I have brain damage if my body works fine. I don’t even know if I’m an earth pony, a unicorn or a pegasus.
This is gonna be a long day.