//------------------------------// // Part 12 // Story: Wrong Hospital Niko Bellic // by Sorren //------------------------------// Wrong Hospital Niko Bellic By: Sorren Part Twelve Niko opened his eyes to find his head resting on the dashboard. Glass littered the floorboard and seat; some of the square shards rested in his lap as well. Groaning, Niko lifted his head to look around. Trees filled the area and bright sunlight filtered between the green fronds from above, casting a light down upon him. Birds chirped all around him. A squirrel skittered up a tree somewhere off to the right. He noticed the hummer parked up an oak tree. Niko cocked his head, examining the smashed hood and shattered windows. “Shit,” he swore silently. Roman was not going to have nice words spoken to him. Niko applied little effort into trying to sit up, which proved slightly difficult due to the vehicle’s front being much higher than the rear. He spared his right hand to reach for the lever for the automatic seat recliner. He hit it and the seat began to rise with a low hum. “Heh,” he chuckled. “Automatic fat person seat still works.” There was a clunk from the mechanism and back of the seat gave way, plunging Niko into the back seat. He regained himself and sat up. “Never mind.” Niko raised his hands and pressed them to his temples. “Are all the ponies in the car alright?” “I think so,” he heard Rainbow mutter. “I really don’t like riding in these things though,” she added. “Do they always crash like this?” Niko allowed himself a light chuckle. “In Liberty City, yes.” The Rainbow mare balanced her way across the back seat to Niko and poised herself on his lap. The pegasus sported a new cut on her forehead. “Is pink pony and stupid cousin okay?” Roman groaned from the driver’s seat. “Yes cousin, I am fine… although Pinkie is drooling on my lap.” Roman squirmed in his seat. “Hey, wake up,” he ordered Pinkie. “We are done driving up tree, you can wake up now.” Pinkie lifted her head slowly and looked around. “Did we win?” she asked. A small white filly that Niko had not yet seen popped her head up from the floorboard. “What were we trying to win again?” Niko brandished a curious finger at the filly. “Who is little pony?” Brucie, who had been stirring, cocked his head to follow Niko’s finger. “Oh, that’s Sweetie Belle,” he answered simply. The filly scrunched her face at him. “How do you know my name?” Brucie cleared his throat loudly. “I heard it from the…” He coughed once, bringing his hand up to his mouth. “…from the pink one.” “Don’t mind Brucie,” Applejack muttered. “He’s all weird like that… say, anypony see my hat?” She pushed herself to her hooves and hopped down on the floorboard near Brucie’s feet. She emerged a moment later sporting her hat. "Found it," she declared happily. Niko moved over on the seat and braced his shoulder against the door. The hinges groaned as be pressed his weight against it. After a moment, it budged. Taken by surprise, he spilt out onto the ground, Rainbow with him. The others exited shortly after, minus the falling. Niko picked himself up and dusted his pants. Rainbow lay on her back, wings unfolded and staring up at the sky. Niko reached down and picked the mare up, placing her on her hooves. “You okay?” he asked, steadying the mare as she swayed. Rainbow raised a hoof to rub her head. “Yeah, kinda.’ All this stuff’s just starting to get to me a little. Everything looks way too… dimensional.” Niko reached down and messed up her mane. “Now you know how I felt in pony world.” Rainbow shot him a glare and shook her head. Somehow, this returned her mane to its original look. Taking on a new initiative, Niko turned to Roman, putting on an antagonizing expression. “Roman,” he said lowly—dangerously. “Do you want to tell me why you stole my car, let pink pony drive it... then drive it up a tree?” Roman laughed nervously, holding out his hands in a form of subsidence. “Well, it is long story cousin. You see, pink pony appeared in the penthouse. Then Mallorie came and pink pony ran away and then I had to take car and find pink pony, but when I find her, she is surrounded by drug zombies and I hit them with the car and they broke the windshield wipers. Then I ran over a hooker and things just sort of went downhill.” He paused for a moment, before stooping down and scooping up the indignant white filly. “Then we found Sweetie Belle.” “Would you put me down?” she protested. Roman hurriedly placed her on the ground next to Pinkie Pie. “So now we are stuck in the park with three ponies and a broken car.” Niko dropped his face into his palm. “Car is little more than broken cousin.” He lifted his head, looking around. “We need to find way to get ponies to a safe place.” Roman spun in a circle, looking around. “I see nothing cousin.” “Can’t I just fly out of sight?” Rainbow asked. Niko shook his head. “No. There are helicopters and high buildings, and all the clouds have acid in them.” Rainbow, who had unfurled her wings restlessly, quickly folded them and looked up at the sky skeptically. “Acid clouds…” Applejack muttered. “Something about that just ain’t right.” Niko cast another look around, this time spotting a brown shape amongst the trees. “I will be right back,” he told them, before dashing off into the trees. It was exactly what he had thought it to be, a cardboard box propped up against a tree, accompanied by a hobo. Niko walked up quietly and grasped the box. The hobo, who had been sleeping, sat up hurriedly. He rubbed his eyes and wiped a few leaves from his thick brown beard. “Hey,” he murmured, still woozy from sleep. “That’s my box.” “I need it,” Niko said, turning away. “I said that’s my box!” the hobo called. Niko spun on him. “Well now it is my box!” he bellowed back. “Go find a new one!” The scruffy man blinked. “Okay man... keep the damned thing.” Niko pulled out his wallet and tossed a twenty on the ground. “Thank you. Now go buy yourself a hotdog or something.” Turing, he ran back to the others, who had been watching his interactions with shocked expressions. “Niko,” Roman said slowly. “You just stole a box from a hobo.” “That’s harsh,” Rainbow added. Niko ignored them. Instead, he threw the box down on the ground. “I have idea,” he stated. He bent over and picked up Rainbow, who tensed for a moment and sighing apathetically. He lowered her down and set her in the box. “See look. Pony in a box—no one will ever know.” Roman peered into the box to look at cyan mare in its depths. “It could work.” Rainbow glared up at them. “So you’re putting me… in a box.” Brucie looked down at Rainbow and rubbed his eyes. Looking back at the mare again, his jaw lowered. “Dude,” he whispered. “This is reminding me of something.” Niko rolled his eyes. “Brucie, honestly? What could a little rainbow pony in a cardboard box possibly remind you of?” He shook his head. “I’m not sure, but it’s making me really sad.” Niko spared another glance at the pony in the box, wondering why a rainbow mare looking up at you from the depths of a cardboard box would seem strange. He shook his head, clearing the thoughts. Nothing made sense with ponies. Bending down, he scooped up Pinkie Pie and Sweetie belle as well, dumping them into the box with Rainbow. Applejack, not wanting to be handled, jumped in on her own accord. He clapped his hands. “Okay, we have four ponies in a box. Let’s go try and figure out what to do next.” * * * Twilight ran through the streets of Ponyville, rallying startled townsponies and doing her best to prevent havoc. She had no idea where the humans and her three friends had gone, but things had gotten bad here really fast. If Discord wasn’t still a statue in the Canterlot gardens, she would have guessed this to be his doing. Celestia was still nowhere in sight, apparently, still on ‘vacation.’ She passed Lyra and Bon-Bon, who were both standing in the street, transfixed with a vertical piece of colored metal spraying water into the air. A group of terrified fillies ran from a burly bearded man wearing tattered clothes and pushing a shopping cart. Twilight’s attention was drawn by a loud shriek. She turned to spot Rarity, who was gaping at the bearded man, her whole body trembled and one hoof was brought up in a show or repulse. She wobbled once and flopped over, unconscious. “Everypony calm down!” Twilight yelled, trying to gain some control on the situation. There was a bright flash of light and a large yellow vehicle, similar in size to Brucie’s, appeared in the center of the street. “This not Chinatown!” an angry figure with a scrunched face yelled from the back seat. The one in the front turned back angrily. “Chinatown, Japantown, crazy colorful horse town! What’s the difference!?” “I think you took wrong turn,” a woman in the back next to the man said worriedly. The man in the front seat looked around, lowering his head over the wheel while his jaw slowly began to lower. “You been smoking LSD in here or something?” “You idiot!” the other scolded. “You no smoke LSD!” The driver pounded his hands on the wheel. “Well you been jabbing needles in my neck or something!? Cause I’m seeing some crazy shit right now!” The man in the back rolled down his window and watched in awe as a pony ran by. “It is colorful horse,” he muttered. “Screw this!” the driver yelled. The yellow vehicle blared forward and knocked over the vertical piece of metal that had had Lyra and Bon-Bon transfixed. The machine blared away and slid around a corner, taking out a vegetable cart on the way. Lyra and Bon-Bon continued to stand next to the toppled piece of metal, staring blankly at one another. Twilight gave her head a shake and ran over to them. “Girls!” she yelled. “Get out of the street!” Who knows what else could appear!?” She led the two ponies out of the middle of the street. “I have to do something,” she gasped as a hooded white human sprinted by. “Help!” he screamed, throwing rapid glances at the large black man behind him, who was surprisingly keeping up, despite his mass. “This fat bastard’s trying to eat me!” Lyra tracked the man as he ran, eyes wide as orbs. “I ain’t gonna’ eat you!” the other yelled back in a much deeper voice. “I’mma just kick yo’ ass!” “Hands,” Lyra whispered quietly. Bon-Bon turned to her friend. “Lyra, please don’t—not now.” Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the teal unicorn bolted, galloping after the two humans. “Lyra wait!” Bon-Bon called, taking chase. Twilight suppressed a scream of frustration. She had to find a way to stop this before things got any worse. “That’s it!” she jeered, a thought striking her. The Canterlot archives! There had to be something there, in the restricted section; that’s where Celestia kept all the really important books and documents, although she never allowed any ponies there. A wide grin crept across Twilight’s face. Right now, Celestia wasn’t here. “Oh, I don’t think she’d mind,” she said reassuringly to herself. “It’s only the entire fate of Equestria. That’s a good reason to go digging in the princess’s most private archives.” But how could she get to Canterlot in time? The city was miles away. The distant chime of a train whistle met her ears. With a sudden realization, Twilight set off at a gallop for the train station. The Canterlot express would be passing through on its way to Fillydelphia. It wouldn’t be stopping at the Ponyville station though; it was an express—no passengers. It ran through here once every week; it was right on schedule! She had to beat it there. A wagon overtook her, pulled by two frightened shop owners fleeing the shopping-cart-human. Twilight teleported herself onto the back deck, allowing herself a moment to breathe and effectively hitching a ride. “Wait!” the human with the shopping cart yelled. “Let me have some of those apples!” The front wheel of his cart hit a pothole and stuck fast. The man was sent careening over the front of his cart to land in a pile of spilt tin cans. Lucky enough for Twilight, the wagon carried her all the way to the train station. She hopped from the deck and made for the platform, just in time too. As she was emerging onto the platform, the freight train rounded a corner at full steam, whistle howling and steam pouring from the stack like water from a hose. Twilight jumped down onto the tracks, motioning frantically with her hooves for the locomotive to stop. A pony wearing a striped hat hung his head out the window. His eyes widened as he spotted the unicorn in the tracks and he turned to yell something back into the cab. Next came the audible screech of the brakes locking up and the banging of the cars striking one another with the sudden deceleration. When the train had nearly slowed, Twilight teleported herself to the cab, taking the firestallion and conductor by surprise. “Are you crazy girl!” a gruff looking stallion yelled. “Ya’ll can’t just go stoppin’ a train like that!” “We have an emergency here!” she shot back, looking frantically around the cab. “I need to get to Canterlot, now.” “Sorry,” the other of the two stallions laughed. “We can’t help you there.” “Look,” Twilight declared, flustered and angry. “There are some really bad things going on right now! We are on the precipice of disaster and it is imperative that I get to Canterlot right away!” “Sure thing,” the gruff stallion scoffed, wiping some soot from his brow. “What could possibly be so important?” There was a flash light from the platform and a pale man in a pink button up shirt appeared next to the train. He looked around for a minute, as if stunned. After a short moment, he turned and fixed his sickly gaze on the three ponies in the train. “Oh hi!” he said cheerfully with a giant smile. “My name’s Eddie Low, have you seen my friend Niko anywhere!?” “Put the train in reverse,” Twilight said quietly, shooting an urgent look to the two trainponies. The man took a step forward and held out his hand. “I’ve never seen a pony before!” he exclaimed excitedly. “Think we could have some private time together!?” his head jerked rapidly to one side and his right eye twitched dangerously. “Now!” she commanded, stepping away from the terrifying figure. Humans were strange, but something about this one chilled her bones. The conductor threw the locomotive into reverse and the blastpipe roared. Eddie walked alongside the train, smiling all the while. “But I want to talk with you!” he cried, making a lunge for the cab. Twilight enveloped him in her magic and threw the sickly human back onto the platform. “We can’t take this locomotive up the Canterlot track in reverse, not with this many cars,” the gruff stallion told her, working his way past the jitters cause by Eddie. “We’ll spill em’ over the edge.” Twilight turned to him, determination seeping from her like water through a ruptured dam. “Well then we spill them. There’s something I’ve got to do.” * * * “Niko,” Roman whispered, casting a nervous look around. “Don’t you think three men walking next to a cardboard box sliding down the sidewalk might draw some attention?” Niko frowned, looking down at the box. The edges skimmed the ground so as whatever was inside could not be seen. The box slid along the sidewalk beside them as the three men made for Brucie’s place. “No. I do not think so.” “Yeah Niko…” Brucie added. “It looks pretty conspicuous man." Niko spread his arms. “Why? Other video game character hide under box all the time. Do you see him getting caught? I do not think so. As Brucie would put it, ‘chill bro’s’.” “Never do that again Niko,” Brucie commanded, his voice layered flat. “What’re things looking like out there?” Rainbow asked, poking her muzzle out through one of the hand-holds on the box. Niko continued to look on ahead. “Not much. We are almost to Brucie’s place.” “You know, Niko, I have been thinking,” Roman butt in. “What are we going to do about the big portal thingy and all the ponies appearing in Liberty City?” Niko shook his head slowly. “I do not know… What do you think Brucie?” Brucie held up his hand. “One second, I need to make a call.” He dug in his pants pocket, but emerged with nothing. He tried his back and coat pockets next. “I can’t appear…” he fretted, digging through his front pockets again. “…to find my phone.” He turned to Niko. “Did you take my phone bro?” “Sure,” he scoffed. “Like I would want to take Brucie’s phone, and maybe pick up some of his imaginary hot women.” Brucie was about to respond, but was cut off by the single wail of a siren. The three men jumped at the sound. Behind them was one of Liberty City’s Finest. A rather husky uniformed officer with a pudgy face crammed the cruiser into park and stepped out of the vehicle to stalked over to them. “Okay, what’s in the box?” he demanded in an incredibly authoritative voice for his appearance. Three of them smiled rather unconvincingly. “Cat with rabies?” Roman suggested. Niko drove a hard elbow into his side. The officer hooked his fingers in his belt and stepped forward. “Okay, you three look funny. I’m checking the box.” “No, wait!” Niko stepped forward hurriedly. “My cousin, Roman, has a niece nobody knows about.” He motioned towards the box. “She does not like to be seen in public because her face is all messed up.” He allowed himself a nervous chuckle. “Her face looks like Barbie doll that got hair stuck in paper shredder.” “Screw you Niko Bellic!” Roman yelled, stomping his foot. “If I had a niece she would be pretty!" The officer nodded slowly, his face thoughtful. “I see what’s going on here.” He leveled his gaze with the three men, shooting them all a condescending glare. “You guys are just trying to sneak a girl back to your place, hoping his guy doesn’t see.” He spat at the ground. “You three make me sick.” “Stop it!” snapped Rainbow’s voice in a loud whisper from inside the box. “What was that?” the officer said damagingly. Niko, Brucie, and Roman all exchanged short glances, shrugging their shoulders and moving their arms in motions suggesting they weren’t aware of anything. “Stop what?” Pinkie replied, voice muffled. “I’m not doing anything.” “You’re stepping on my tail!” “Am not!” “Are too.” “Girls,” Applejack whispered. “Now’s not the best time.” “Well then tell Pinkie to stop stepping on my tail.” “Yeah right!” Pinkie scoffed. “What the hay is going on down there?” Sweetie Belle asked skeptically. The officer’s jaw began to drop. “How many girls do you have in there?” “My niece has multi-personality disorder,” Roman said quickly, tugging at his collar. Judging by the look given by the officer, he was not convinced. “That’s it!” he declared, stepping forward. “I’m checking the box!” “No wait!” Niko added urgently. He groaned and stomped over to Niko. “What do you want!?” Niko sent his reply with a heavy swing to the nose that sent the officer keeling over backwards. He landed in the street with a thud and his hat rolled from atop his head. He tried to sit up but his eyes rolled to the top of his head and he fell back to the asphalt. “Niko!” Roman exclaimed. “You just punched a cop!” “Yes cousin, I did!” Walking over to the box, he picked it up and turned it over, upsetting the ponies inside. It would be faster for him to carry them anyways. “Not let’s get to Brucie’s before he wakes up and we have to actually show him your niece to get him to go away!” <= Sorry for wait. I have started too many stories and been dealing with that useless thing called family. (friends are better) <= About that Undead Equestria link I threw at you last time. I just looked back at the first chapter and, as it was almost the first thing I had ever written, naturally, it was written like poo. I fixed all of that now. If you want to try and brave it now that it is better, be my guest. <= Thanks you for sticking with me this far. ~Sorren