Coming down the ramp, Tarnished Teapot was blinded by the furious illumination of flashbulbs. He almost stumbled and fell, he would have, but Pinkie Pie had caught him, moving with the sort of speed that only Pinkie Pie had. Flickering ghosts remained in his vision and he heard shouting, both his name and Maud’s name.
Tarnish felt himself being dragged down the ramp and there were bodies all around him. He couldn’t tell who was who in the chaos, but he could hear the voice of his mother, Cloudy Pie, Igneous, Marble, and Limestone. His vision started to come back, but all he could see was more strobing, flashing lights all around him as his hooves crunched on the gravel below.
“If you don’t give us some space I’m gonna have Limestone and Marble buck you to Princess Luna’s moon!” Igneous bellowed to the crowd.
As loud as Igneous was, Tarnish could barely hear him speaking. He felt a hard shove moving him forwards. Earth ponies were strong sorts, capable, and when excited, they didn’t always know their own strength. Tarnish had learned that from being with Maud and experiencing her in her various states of calmness, excitement, and arousal.
His vision began clearing and Tarnish saw a building not too far away, a building that they were heading in the direction of. He wondered what was about to happen next and how they would continue their journey home. Out of everything going through Tarnish’s mind at the moment, he wondered how they would get out of Fillydelphia.
As soon as his mother’s lips brushed up against his cheek, Tarnished Teapot felt himself blushing. He was calming down a bit, surprised at just how frazzled his nerves were after everything that had happened. Almost losing Maud had left him a little shaken up. He wanted to be away from the city, away from other ponies, he wanted to be somewhere that had an abundance of peace and quiet.
Tarnished Teapot wanted to be on the road.
Not on a train, or on an airship, he wanted to be walking, clearing his head, he wanted to be out some place where the only sounds were the sounds of nature, his own hoofsteps, and maybe the sounds of Maud’s voice. Or maybe just Maud’s heavy breathing.
The group were sitting in a small security office in the airport terminal while the airport decided what to do about the mob of reporters that had shown up. The room was small, windowless, not very well ventilated, and the walls were covered up in old, yellowed, faded wanted posters. Had Tarnished Teapot been more observant of his surroundings, he would have seen pictures of Flim and Flam Apple.
“We’ve become celebrities. Mom, Dad, somehow, I have messed up my life. I’m sorry.” Maud’s flat monotone somehow seemed appropriate for the small, unremarkable security office.
Hearing Maud’s words, Pinkie Pie began giggling, her eyes bright and merry. “Maud, you’ve always had the best sense of humour. You always know just what to say.” Pinkie, grinning from ear to ear, leaned over on Maud and nudged Maud in the ribs. “What are you gonna do next for a headliner?”
“I don’t think the airport is going to help us… I mean, once we’re away from the airport, we’re just going to be mobbed again. I don’t want to be mobbed.” Marble, who was a bit shy, looked around the room, a worried expression on her face. “I don’t like this at all.”
“If we’re going to take a train as planned, we’re going to have to cross the city to get to the train station. Fillydelphia is a big city. Then we have the problem of those ponies with cameras getting on the train with us.” Limestone, who looked concerned, glanced at her twin.
“I hate to say it, but I think we’re going to have to escape the city on hoof somehow. We might have to walk to Foalsom Springs and maybe catch a train from there, if we can do so without being noticed,” Cloudy said to everypony around her.
“What if we get seen?” Marble asked in a worried, apprehensive whisper. “What if they come to our home?”
Scowling, Igneous gritted his teeth but said nothing. Beside him, Cloudy, frowning, glanced at her husband as she heard his his teeth grinding together, and she too, remained silent. Pinny Lane was looking at Tarnish, a mother’s worry showing upon her face, Pinkie Pie was still giggling about what Maud had said, Maud was looking at Pinkie with a raised eyebrow, and every time their eyes met Pinkie let out a fresh snort of laughter.
A knock on the door made everypony pause and turn their head. Nopony said anything, but stared, each ear was perked forwards, waiting, wondering, worrying, and it was Pinny Lane that broke the silence.
“Yes?”
The door opened and a bespectacled pegasus entered the room. He was wearing a quilted patchwork vest and a patchwork flat cap that sat upon his head at a rakish tilt. His mane, which spilled out from beneath his hat, was strange, ropey, and bobbed with his every movement.
“My name is Walrus,” the strange, bespectacled and dreadlocked pegasus said, introducing himself. “Sorry I’m late. I was sent here to help you.”
“Who sent you?” Pinny asked as she stepped closer, her horn glowing.
“Whoa, like, you’re all paranoid… that’s cool and all, but I’m not here to hurt you. Tree Hugger spoke with the princess—”
“Twilight Sparkle?” Pinny took another step forwards.
Walrus looked confused for a moment, his lips pressing together, his somewhat bloodshot eyes blinking. “Is there, like, some other princess that I don’t know about? I’m lost.”
“Nevermind,” Pinny said, shaking her head.
“So, like, anyways, Tree Hugger, Flax Seed, Wheat Grass, and me, we were like talking about how we should get more involved and we were like really, really impressed with that interview about you in the paper. We’re the Eco Warriors… well, we’re thinking about changing the name… Wheat Grass, she like, well, she gets like really uptight about anything that implies violence…” Walrus trailed off and stood there, staring. “Was I saying something?”
“Can you help us or not?” Pinny demanded.
“Oh, yeah, right,” nodding his head, Walrus grinned at the group, “we need to get you out of here. We want to help you. Tree Hugger and Twilight Sparkle have been talking and like, establishing trust and stuff… the princess, she’s like, really cool. She’s like, all purple and nice and she um, well, she um, she blazed up with Tree Hugger to show that she’s cool with us and that she cares about the environment and stuff.”
The sound of Igneous’ teeth grinding together filled the room.
“I have a delivery wagon. Flax Seed, he’s here in Fillydelphia with me doing some deliveries. He and Wheat Grass own Flax and Wheat's New Age All-Natural Wellness Center and they like sell like a lot of soaps and all natural foods and like, all natural recycled clothing and stuff to different clients here in Fillydelphia. Ponies who want to make a difference.” Walrus was oblivious to the fact that Igneous was glaring at him and focused instead on Limestone, whom he smiled at.
“We would be happy to come with you if you can get us out of here unnoticed,” Cloudy said to Walrus, giving the pegasus a gentle, courteous smile as she poked her husband in the ribs with her elbow.
“Well, like, the delivery wagon, it is like, a big panel wagon, the city, the ponies here are crazy and they steal stuff, so the wagon is secure and you can’t see inside of it. When Flax is done making deliveries, we can load all of you up inside of the wagon and then get you out of the city. We can get you to Foalsom Springs and from there, you should be able to get home. I feel really good about doing this, this is like going to totally refresh my karma.”
“I dunno about this… being smuggled out of the city,” Pinny said, giving voice to her concerns.
“Oh, it’s like totally cool… we smuggle stuff all the time… uh, well, uh, that’s like incriminating… uh, like, it’s like totally wrong to make natural stuff illegal. You can’t make nature illegal, that’s like really immoral and wrong and stuff. Like Tarnished Teapot over there… he’s like totally natural… he’s an organic pony and he’s totally cool… and some real buzzkills want to make him illegal and that’s like morally bankrupt and wrong.”
Limestone raised her right hoof in the air and shouted, “Fight the power!”
Igneous, scowling, turned his head and glared at his daughter. “Limestone, shut up.”
“Sorry, Daddy.” Limestone lowered her hoof to the floor, her ears drooped, and her tail tucked between her legs.
“We’ll go with you,” Maud said, her emotionless monotone cutting through the tension like a knife. “If you can get us to Foalsom Springs, we can get home on our own from there, just so long as we don’t get noticed. We’ll be glad to accept your help.” Maud turned and looked at her father. “Isn’t that right, Daddy?”
Scowling, Igneous closed his eyes, squeezing them shut, and said nothing in reply.
The inside of the wagon smelled like soap and something else. Tarnish couldn’t quite put his hoof on what it was, but it tickled his nose and made him feel like sneezing. It was crowded in the back of the panel wagon, but they all somehow fit inside.
The ride was a bit bumpy, Tarnish could feel the cobblestones beneath the wagon wheels and the suspension wasn’t very good. There were no windows, no means to see out, and the only light was coming from both Tarnish and Pinny’s horns.
Tilting her head back, Maud took another drink from the bottle she had been given. Flax Seed, the pony now pulling the wagon, had given both Tarnish and Maud something called kombucha brew. Some kind of fermented beverage. Flax insisted that the brew would help them feel better after their run in with the volcano. Tarnish had tried some, it was a bit sour and he found it unpleasant, but Maud seemed to be enjoying hers a great deal. Tarnish kept sipping his, there was something about it, this weird feeling that it had something that his body craved even though it tasted like, well, Tarnish lacked the vocabulary to describe it in any sort of meaningful way.
“Like it or not, ponies are going to have to start paying attention to the environmental consequences of what they do,” Cloudy said to her husband.
“I know that, but these flakes take away credibility with all of their new age nonsense,” Igneous grumbled in reply. The old grumpy stallion huffed and puffed a few times, frustrated, not at all happy about his current situation.
“They mean well.” Cloudy leaned over against her husband and rested her head against his neck. “A bit too much of a focus on organic though. I’m running into that with the food goods I sell.”
“I just inhaled a whole bunch of all natural organic toxins and volcanic ash. It came from the earth. It almost killed me. Sulfuric acid and pyroclastic clouds are one hundred percent all natural and organic. Poison joke is all natural and organic too, but I don’t see ponies lining up to go have a roll in it.” Maud, having spoken her piece, smacked her lips together and then took a sip from the bottle of kombucha and lavender brew. She turned and looked at Tarnish, blinked once, and lowered her bottle, holding it in her fetlock. “I could go for a roll in some poison joke.”
“Maudlin Persephone Pie, you are going to give your father a conniption fit.” Cloudy raised her eyebrow at her daughter as her husband sat there sputtering and spitting.
“I’m bored,” Pinkie Pie announced, much to everypony else’s horror. “Bored bored bored. So bored. So bored it hurts.” As she spoke, one of her curls sagged, spilling down over her face in a long, limp strand. A second later, another long curly lock went limp, falling down and landing on Pinkie’s nose. “So bored. Gonna die.”