Ritz makes sure to draw the groups attention away from the other passengers. Don't want to risk anyone getting hurt. Maybe for good measure lead on a chase to a area on the ship where's it's easier to fight and less chance of bystanders getting hurt.
BrownDog77 comment
As you peer out at the dining room from the hallway entrance, you feel a hoof on your shoulder causing you to whirl around with intent to Chain Punch only to see it's a nervous looking stewardess.
"Are you nuts!" you admonish with a whisper, "You should know better than to sneak up on somelin-er-pony in a situation like this!"
“Sir, please don’t do anything drastic," she whispers worriedly, "There are families in there.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve done this before…” you say mysteriously.
YEARS AGO
It was the craziest situation you were ever in. You were aboard the Emperor of Neighpon’s airship on a mission to steal trade secrets when disaster struck. Stalliongradian terrorists had boarded the ship, and took everyone hostage with their trained venomous snakes. To make matters worse, the food on board had been bad, and 95 percent of the passengers were down with food sickness. Luckily though, you were able to team up with the Emperor, a mare who claimed her daughter disappeared, but who others thought was just crazy, and another mare who had been held hostage by a psychopath until the terrorists boarded. Together, you all stopped the villains and saved the day…
BACK TO NOW
"...We're home in time for tacos." you finish whispering only for the stewardess to just look at you funny.
“What?” you ask.
“That was the plots to Sky Force One, Snakes on a Blimp, Airship!, Flight Plan, Red Eye, and a bit of The Broomdock Saints 2, all rolled into one…” she says.
“No it’s… huh… you’re right, it is,” you say as you really think about it, “Usually I’m better at separating reality and fiction- Gah!” you shake your head at this. “Relax, I'm a professional.” you tell her as you sneak back out and are about to use Inspire Hate on the large Earth Pony to make him attack the other two when you realize,
Wait, too many civilians, gotta lure them away, but how...
Getting an idea, you retreat back into the hallway and tell the stewardess,
"Okay, I got a plan, but I need you to go get me, uh... some dry chewed-up gum, a full barf bag, and a trolley full of sodas." you say, a plan forming in your head, "Got it?"
The stewardess looks at yo strangely before nodding and heading off. When you were sure you were a safe distance you went to your cabin, opened your door, and called,
"Dad-blast. Back in my day we had a whole bottle of soda pop instead of half a gorram can!"
"You hear that." you hear one of the voices pipe up.
"Looks like we missed one." another voice chimes.
"Sounds like an cranky old kook." a third says.
"I'll go get him."
You smirk at this only for the second voice to counter,
"Wait, what if it's a trap? This old kook could be an old veteran waiting to clobber us with an encyclopedia as soon as we come in one at a time!"
"We better go in all at once just to be safe."
"Yeah so when we come back and even suspect any of you cherished guests of ours of moving even a little strange, you're gonna get an arrow. Not a warning, not a question. An arrow."
Great, these morons have a brain between them. you mentally mutter.
As the skyjacker trio enter the hallway, you quickly duck back into your cabin and shut the door.
"Alright buddy, come out and nopony gets hurt!"
In response, you call from your hiding place...
Kichi comment
"Okay, Okay, I'll pay just... Who's the leader again? I mean, if I have to pay to somepony, I'm pretty sure max profits should go to the leader."
"Well, of course I'm the leader!" the unicorn says.
"You? The leader? I thought we agreed we'd be a equal team as a protest against classicism." the pegasus counters as the other pony begin to smirk.
"We'll I was the one who thought up of this so I'm the boss now."
"By that logic, the lunk over here should be leader since he spoke first even though he can't even count to three." the pegasus counters getting a snicker out of the unicorn.
"Hey! That not true! And don't laugh at me!" the Earth Pony protests.
"If somepony must be the leader it must be me cause I'm the most intelligent of our alliance." the unicorn gloats.
"You?! I was the one who knew how to make these weapons out of ordinary items we could buy at skyport shops and sneak past security! If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be in charge of these sheep!" Say the pegasus as he brandishing his impromptu flails for emphasis.
"Come on, Everyone know that unicorns are the most intelligent of the three races" Says the unicorn with an arrogant smile.
"I'm not stupid, see... One... Two... Five... W..." The earth pony begin to count with his hooves as the other two began to argue, but you quickly take this opportunity to point your hoof at the Earth Pony and concentrate...
"I'm the leader!" the unicorn proclaims.
"No me!" the pegasus protests getting in the unicorn's face.
"Me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"SHUT UP!!!" the Earth Pony bellows with glowing red eyes as he swings the impromptu spiked club into the pegasus who ducks as the club knocks the unicorn against the wall. With your Inspire Hate technique having done its job of triggering a three-way free-for-all in the cabin halls, you quickly make your exit...
MidnightFMare
In the hallway, you spot an "Air-Mall" magazine and start looking through the items, a "shirt launcher" catching your attention.
"Okay, now I just need-"
You feel somepony tap on your shoulder and turn to see...
"Derpy?"
"Sign here please." she says holding a package and a clipboard.
You look at the wall-eyed pegasus in confusion and ask,
"...Where did you come from? And how did you get past the thugs?"
"I'm a Mailmare, it's part of our training. Sign please." she says as she shoves the clipboard into your face and you quickly scribble "Rarity" on it with the boutique's address for the bill, take the package, and tear it open.
-Shirt Cannon
-Bag of Packing Peanuts
-5 feet of Bubble Wrap
acquired
"Thanks Der-" you start before you realize the mailmare is no longer there.
"Where did sh-"
"Mr."
Your confusion is interrupted when you hear the stewardess approaching you with the trolley.
"You have what I asked for?"
She opens the trolley revealing the items you asked for.
"Horrorshow."
-Bag Of Barf
-Dried used gum
acquired
As soon as you finish putting everything in the trolley you hear,
"Wait, wait, WAIT! We shouldn't be fighting each other-"
"No duh sherclop!"
"I mean we should be angry at that pony that lured us out here."
"Go to the dining room with the others." you command the stewardess to which she complies as you quickly run to the opposite end of the hall with the trolley, grab a straw from the trolley, climb onto the ceiling, and crouch low to remain hidden. As the battered trio walk past and move through the entrance to the dining room you quickly drop down behind the trolley, jam a piece of dried gum into the straw, and say,
"Hello there."
The trio all turn around in the entranceway with the large earth pony in front, the pegasus behind him, and the unicorn with the crossbow in the back. As they do this, you quickly launch a single pea-sized piece of hardened gum at the big guy's nose, lodging it into his nostril.
"What the- what's" he snorts and inspects what came out of his nose, "SWEET CELESTIA!!" he yells in a panic "HE BLASTED MY BRAIN OUT OF MY NOSE!"
"Outta my way you big idiot!" the pegasus says trying to get past his panicking companion in the doorway as you quickly stuff the Bag of Barf into the Shirt Cannon. The pegasus manages to get past the earth pony and is about to charge at you when you blast him with the bag of barf which splatters him in the face, covering him in vomit.
"AAAAUUGHHH!!! I HAD MY MOUTH OPEN!!! WHO THE BUCK THROWS VOMIT?!!" he screams spitting and trying to wipe the vomit off him in a panic.
"Give me a clear shot you morons!" the unicorn says as you quickly use Force Pull to turn the Earth Pony's ski mask to the left to block off his face and thus keep him disoriented. You quickly duck your head down so your Bowler Hat deflects the impromptu crossbow bolt as you stuff the Bag of Packing Peanuts into the Shirt Cannon, rising just as the unicorn loads another bolt into his impromptu crossbow, but you fire first and hit him in the face with the bag of packing peanuts, scattering them everywhere and obscuring their view.
"Aquila Talon!" you declare as you throw the empty Shirt Cannon at the flailing peanuts-and-vomit covered pegasus, causing him to stumble back towards the blinded earth pony which in turn knocks him into the dazed unicorn. You then throw your hoof to the side to deploy the hookblade and then shoot it forward to launch it past the three skyjackers and onto a window rail on the far wall. You hug your end of the trolley and proclaim,
"And for my next trick, Would you all kindly..."
You pull your wrist back causing the hookblade chain to retract as you hold on to the trolley,
With the momentum of the retracting hookblade pulling you, you ram the trolley right into the three skyjackers and smush them into the wall. While all three are dazed, you quickly run over and wrap them in the bubble wrap before tying up that bubble wrap with a layer of duct tape subduing the would-be skyjackers, eliciting a cheer from the other passengers.
When all three crooks are subdued and struggling in their bonds, you take out a Sweet Chariot sugercube and pop it into your mouth as you ask...
Anyway, end the fight with them all being in a lifeboat (on an airship) with you threatening to cut it loose without the parachute or engine it normally uses to get to the ground safely.
BrownDog77
“So... *ronch ronch* what exactly was your brilliant scheme here? To steal a vehicle that even a Wonderbolt dropout can catch up to in her sleep? Where exactly did you think you were going to take this thing?”
“Uh…”
“Did you guys even have a plan, I mean, those 'weapons' of yours are just cobbled together garbage.”
“We… stand for stuff.” the leader pouts, "Yeah, this act is a protestation of the undiluted squandering of the boogy-geez-"
“Now you're just stringing random words together.” you say as you take out a cigarette and light it up.
“NOOOO!!! The Helium! You’ll kill us all!” the unicorn shouts as he knocks the cigarette out of your mouth.
“Ow! Helium isn’t flammable you idiot!” you exclaim as you punch his horn causing him to cry out in dizzied pain.
“Liar- OH BUCK!” the Pegasus shouts as you look over and see a tablecloth has caught fire.
“WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” the earth pony shouts as he attempts to jump out the window only to forget he's tied to two other ponies and they all trip and slam headfirst into the wall, knocking themselves out.
You just blink dumbfounded before you just shake your head and go over and put out the small fire...
Down with Chrysalis comment
The rest of your flight was uneventful outside of you absorbing and consuming hero-worship love from the passengers (1) and reading the newspaper and "The Dao of the River" book. You were even able to learn one cool and devastating (but rare and difficult) technique; The Critical Chi Strike
Learned "Critical Chi Strike" (Channels your chi into your hoof to deliver a devastating blow that directly disrupts the target's chi at point of impact leading to a backlash effect that severely damages the target even if they were wearing armor. ONLY works on enemies the size of an adult Minotaur or smaller that have been sufficiently weakened normally and requires INTENSE absolute focus to pull off correctly)
Any back to the newspaper, some notable articles;
Rough Diamond Caught, Substantial Damage to Museum
"Huh, they didn't even mention my name." you comment in annoyance.
Countess Coloratura Hires More Backup Dancers
"Nice to see my impromptu dance number got those homeless dancers off the street."
The Great and Powerful Trixie's Rise to Fame
You feel happy for Trixie, but suddenly you start to feel homesick away from her and are even about to tear up until the next article sends you into a howling frenzy of laughter,
Donald Trumpkin Falls Hard in Polls After Being Revealed to be a Blindingly Baldy-Bald Chromdome.
Mayor Lenny Expects Reelection
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BREATHE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SOMELING PUNCH ME-*pow* Thanks."
When you do get to Las Pegasus...
BrownDog77 comment
Down with Chrysalis comment
“Sir, although we appreciate what you did, you did have several weapons on your person.” the Homeland Security Administration (HSA) guard says at the airport with a Las Pegasus officer next to him taking your statement.
“Well yeah, I don’t trust luggage, but they ultimately helped in the long run,” you complain.
“Sir, we don’t know how you got these through security at Manehattan (somepony’s definitely getting fired over there), but we can’t let you fly our airlines anymore.”
“Oh come on!”
“Be thankful that’s all it is. We’re allowing you to go, with your weapons, because of our heroism. Now please don’t make a scene sir and leave.”
"Fine, just give me the stupid bounty on the brain trust over there." you snark pointing to the three skyjackers being taken away by the LPPD.
"Okay, may we see your Bounty Hunting credentials?" the Las Pegasus officer speaks up.
"What?"
"Well we can't just give official fugitive bounties to just any untrained random pony otherwise we'd have a state of anarchy as ponies go around arresting each other in hopes of some quick Bits. As a bounty hunter, surely you knew that."
"D'oh!" you exclaim in annoyance, “You're lucky I don't have time for this horesapples! In the future I’ll be taking your competitor Southwest Skylines!” you shout, to which the TSA guard just starts snickering as you storm off in a huff.
“Grr, stupid airlines. I stop some terrorists, and I’m the one who gets punished. Horrorshow, REAL horrorsho-”
"Happy Hearth's Warm-"
"Not in the mood!" you snap at the passing pony as you leave LPAX.
You're about to scope out the area Assassin's Vow-style... only to abandon that idea when you see that like Manehattan, Las Pegasus has too many tall buildings to make that a feasible option. Looking at the local clock, you see that you still have plenty of time before the Trackatomi Plaza Hearth's Warming Eve party so you think,
Might as well go get my Bounty Hunter's license. you think to yourself, With my luck, I'll probably be running into more thugs so might as well be able to profit off it, but where would-
You immediately spot a building far across the street with a sign reading, Bounty Hunter Training Seminar
Well that's convenient. you think as you make your way across the busy streets around busy holiday shoppers and enter the building. You approach a dyed-blonde-maned mare with a military vest and a Domino for a Cutie Mark smoking a cigarette at a desk and ask,
"Is this the Bounty Hunter Training Seminar?"
The mare looks up from her paperwork and sizes up your outfit.
"It is, but you're looking pretty fancy for a Bounty Hunter."
"Suit equal professional which equals I-know-what-I'm-bucking-doing." you counter, "Anyway, how long until I get my bounty hunting license?"
"Scuse me?" she says raising an eyebrow, "This is a bounty hunter refresher course." she says gesturing to a room full of various tough-looking ponies (2), "To get a license you need to go to the Commissioner of Public Safety, present proof of identity (which includes a high school diploma or equivalent,) complete a 6-month training course, register with the Fugitive Recovery Agents Union Diversified- " (3)
"D'oh! Is there a faster way?" you ask.
"Well you could just buy a 'Limited Surety Agent' license at City Hall, but that's only temporary an-"
"Perfect. Thanks." you say turning around and walking out the door before quickly popping your head back in and saying,
"Um... which way is city hall?"
"Just keep walkin left. If you reach the Las Pegasus Strip then you've gone too far."
"Thanks! Happy Hearth's Warming!"
"Yeah, whatever." she responds before continuing with her smoking as you leave.
SOME TIME AND 100 BITS LATER
BrownDog77 comment
"Limited Surety Agent" license (allows you to collect bounties for one year)
acquired
2 Bits remaining
After getting your de facto bounty hunting license from city hall, you had a brief lunch (a Can of Cream of Potato Soup, 3 Granola Bars, a Bar of Chocolate, and a Can of Pitt Cola) and took in the sights of the city as you searched for the Trackatomi Plaza building. You saw the Applewood sign, the Walk of Fame, Warner Sisters Studio, etc. You wanted to go to Whinny Land… but you didn’t think you could do it justice by only being in there for a few hours. Plus the tickets were like 100 bits (which you already spend on the license).
-3 Cans of Cream of Potato Soup
-5 Bars of Chocolate
-9 Granola Bars
-3 Cans of Pitt Cola
remaining
“I’ll go see Walter Wombat later, right now, I gotta get to that party.”
At 7:30, you arrive at the building… and it’s pretty tall. You see red and green lights at the Penthouse on top and realize this is where you are meant to go. Realizing you don't have a invitation and thus would be unlikely to be invited to a fancy party even with your suit, you managed to sneak in via the underground garage door and use your changeling stealth skills to sneak and ceiling-crawl to the elevator where you swap out your Bowler Hat for your Porkpie Hat (instructions did say to wear a brown hat).
As you enter the party, you see all kinds of celebrities and rich folks of all kinds of races besides ponies mingling about. You peer through the crowd as you stand by the punch bowl, for any sign, scent, or sound of a changeling. A ridiculous looking stallion in blue clothes starts walking towards you and stops in front of you, and you get ready… but then he opens his mouth.
“Oh my gosh, can you please move out of the way? Rude…” he says in an effeminate voice.
You just raise your eyebrow and step to the side.
“Oh wow, took you long enough,” he says. Already you can tell this guy’s an flankhole.
“You could’ve said please,” you snark.
“Oh wow and it talks. I don’t know about you Mr. McShabby hat, but when you’re the agent of the biggest pop star in Equestria, you don’t have to say please to anyone,” he says before taking a sip and immediately spitting it up at you.
“Oh Gosh, this is terrible, just terrible. Cranberry Punch is not as good as Cherry!” he complains and walks off.
"Happy Hearthswarming to you too." you snark as you think,
Note to Self: Hurt that fool later.
After awhile of sitting by the punch and drinking it to keep up appearances, you realize you really have to go to the bathroom. You hold on for as long as you can so as not to miss the fence… but.
“Gorramit.” you groan as you rush to the restroom. After you finish your business and start to leave the bathroom you grumble,
"Chrysalis this party is boring. When are they gonna kick things up-"
"Everypony move!"
Your grumbling is interrupted when you hear a commotion outside. You cautiously peek out the door and see at least a dozen creatures of various species (earth pony, unicorn, diamond dog, minotaur, etc.) knocking over tables and threatening the guests with spears, swords, glowing horns, and crossbows. Your training kicking in, you carefully observe the party-crashers and deduce that their leader must be the griffin in a nice suit. As a large minotaur drags a couple out of the room closest to you, you quickly realize they'll be searching the restroom next so you quickly rush out the door to the emergency exit and start running down the stairs mentally cursing,
Curse you Ergot Murphy and your law!
You stop running when you hear more voices coming upstairs so you quickly duck into an uncompleted room with workers tools and building material loosely scattered. After you hear the voices pass by the room and continue upstairs to the penthouse, you walk over to the window with intent to wall-walk (changeling adhesive hooves, remember?) down the building and leave when you feel a moral tugging at your mind,
"Wait, I can't just leave these ponies her- Gah! Shut up conscience! I need to get the hay out of here!"
You're about to bang your head against a nearby table in an attempt to silence your conscience when you realize,
"Wait, that buggy fence could still be up there! If I don't meet with him then I'll never be able to find the Hive. Plus..."
You open your Saddlebags to show the only 2 bits left and the "Limited Surety Agent" license,
"I am low on funds and at least a few of these guys might have a bounty on them..."
Taking all this into account you take off your Porkpie Hat and put your Bowler Hat back on and think,
So, what's my next move gonna be...
WHAT DO YOU DO?