Fight Club

by xTSGx

Midnight vs. Government

“Everything's going to be fine,” Midnight raced around a corner so fast, the wagon tilted onto two wheels, causing the small pile of tomato seedlings and lockbox full of bits that were in it to tumble from one side to the other. She jerked to the right and forced it to settle back down as she galloped toward her small cottage.
 
“You were going to leave Hollow Shades anyway,” she slowed to a crawl behind a cart carrying boxes of fresh baked bread. She hopped from hoof to hoof anxiously before peering in the direction of the military base. Why was the cart moving so slow? Didn't the driver know what was going on? She leaned over to check if there were any oncoming vehicles before she yanked her wagon and quickly overtook the cart.
 
“This just gives you the incentive you needed to finally make the move and leave,” she missed her turn and had to slam on the brakes. The wagon painfully bashed into her flank as she skidded to a stop and slowly—agonizingly—backed up and raced down the quiet street her cottage was on.
 
“You'll have no debt, no fighting league, and no hundred thousand bit bounty to worry about,” she winced as she ran up to her fence gate at full speed. It was unlocked, wasn't it? The gate flew open and she barreled past it and slowed to a halt in front of her garden and the hole where Mr. Tree had once sat.
 
She unbuckled the harness that was strapped around her withers and was about to run inside when she paused and looked over to the garden. She bit her lip. This wasn't the time. She had far, far more important things to do. More important things than letting her plants know what was going on? She rushed over, “I'm really sorry, guys, but I'm in a big rush right now. It's really bad, though. You probably won't be seeing me for a while. I-I just hope you can make due while I'm gone and will always remember me, like I'll remember you.”
 
She usually reserved the big farewell speech for October when the cold fall air set in and spelled doom for the annuals, but this would likely be the last she'd see of them. Might as well use it now—or at least an abridged, footnotes version. The Night Guard would be breaking down her door any minute now, after all.
 
“Goodbye,” she turned around and ran inside. She glanced back one last time before shutting the door. The tomato, pepper, and watermelon plants stayed perfectly still and made no obvious movements to indicate their profound sadness at the lose of their caretaker and mentor. They were always so stoic and would never let their emotions show, but deep down, she knew they were just as torn up about it as she was.
 
She looked over the dozens of potted plants that filled the interior of her cottage. First thing's first. If she was leaving, she'd need to find a way to water them all. All these poor plants relied on her to give them life. She suppressed a shudder at the thought of them slowly shriveling up and dying in the hot, dry cottage as their final thoughts were of the evil bat pony who had abandoned them.
 
She walked into the small living room opposite to her kitchen and opened up a cardboard box that lay next to her wooden rocking chair. Good thing she had bought all those glass watering bulbs. What would she have done if she hadn't? She hoisted the box onto her back, using her wings to hold it in place, and ran into the kitchen.
 

 
“Almost... there!” she turned the faucet off and stared at the blue glass orb. The water had just reached the little “Full” line. She smiled. It was a pain at first, but after a few dozen of them, she'd mastered the art of filling small bulbs full of water. If she didn't already have a gardening cutie mark, she'd probably have gotten one in irrigation.
 
She walked into the bathroom and stuffed the bulb into the small desert landscape that sat in the window. She glanced in worry at the miniature cacti and ocotillo. They probably didn't need that much water and it might not even be that healthy for them. But she didn't have much of a choice. It was either that or they die. And she wasn't about to become the only gardener on the planet to kill a cactus from not watering it enough.
 
Just as she left the backroom, a knock at the door froze her in place. Oh no. No, no, no. She'd been so busy getting her plants ready, she hadn't even prepared. She had no bits ready. No socks. No train ticket. She remained firmly stuck in place as the door knocked again, harder this time. She could leap out a window and make a break for it. Those fights against Spitfire and Rainbow Dash had surely given her wings some added strength to evade the Night Guard.
 
She jumped from her spot and ran toward her bedroom. Just jimmy the window open and—
 
“Miss Dream? Are you home?” She stopped. What? She turned around and looked at her front door. Of all the ponies that could possibly be on the other side, Bill was not one of them.
 
She walked over to the door and opened it. It was only as she was turning the knob that the thought of the Night Guard using him as bait to get her out in on the open flashed into her head, “Bill, what are you doing here?” Please don't be a battalion of bat ponies standing behind him.
 
The brown pegasus that stood on her porch stared at her, a large wooden mallet rested precariously on his back, “Ah, Miss Dream. I take it you're aware of Her Majesty's recent speech?”
 
“Uh, yes.” Why did he have a mallet?
 
“Good. Unfortunately, as a result, we are going to have to place you on furlough while the Benefactors appeal her decision to the Royal Court of Appeals for the Distinct of Canterlot. The fighting league will be temporarily suspending operations while the appellate process occurs,” he shook his head, “It's a shame things had to end this way.”
 
She nodded, “So... no more fights?” she continued to eye the mallet. Given how most of those fights had ended, she was wary of any heavy object, or flattening device.
 
Bill sighed, “Even if they win the appeal, unlikely, with the current political climate. The UFL will most likely fold. I sincerely hope you got the most out of it while you could.” he smiled sadly, “I guess we'll never see about that championship, will we?”
 
As if she had been looking forward to fighting the best pony in Equestria. Even if it would have made her rich, “Yeah, a real shame. All good things have to end, eventually,” Midnight looked nervously at the large mallet slung over his shoulder. There was no logical reason he'd be carrying a mallet with him,” Uh, Bill. What's with the mallet? You nailing something down?”
 
“Funny you should mention that. It actually brings me to the other reason I'm here,” In one quick motion, he heaved the heavy object over his head and swung it full force at the mare. Her eyes widened and muscles tightened as she jumped out of the way—just in time to avoid a manhole cover-shaped fate. The mallet hit the floor with a resounding thud. The stallion sighed and shook his head, “It's a lot of money, Miss Dream. And since I'm furloughed just as you are, I need every bit I can get.”
 
Midnight stared at the mallet in shock, “You were going to flatten me?!” She then looked at him in anger, “You were going to turn me in?!” She wasn't sure which one upset her more.
 
Bill hoisted the mallet above him again. He rolled his eyes, “Please. Don't tell me if the roles were reversed and I had the hundred thousand bit bounty you wouldn't be trying to lure me into a wringer—tartarus, you'd probably put yourself in one if you knew they'd pay you the bounty.”
 
Midnight crinkled her nose at the accuracy of his statement, “At least I'd be more creative than using a mallet.” She mumbled out.
 
“Well I'm sorry for using such a primitive capture method but time is of the essence and a bulky mallet is all I could find. Not only will the bounty hunters be here soon, but you're little bottling battle has managed to embarrass quite a few in the military. I'm really surprised the Night Guard hasn't busted down your door—especially considering how close we are to their headquarters.” He smiled, “After Echo, Speck, and Night Watch, maybe they're a little skittish after seeing what you did to their soldiers.”
 
Midnight stepped around her foyer cautiously as he walked in. After Spitfire and Rainbow Dash, there was no way in tartarus she was going to be defeated by her lazy manager with a cheap hardware store mallet. She could even still see the price sticker on it, “Are you really going to do this, Bill? I've defeated the Captain of the Wonderbolts and an Element of Harmony.”
 
He looked at the mallet before twirling it with a hoof, “And I've seen all of your fights and was the one who prepared those little debriefings on you for your opponents,” he pointed it at her, “You're incredibly defensive, have a tendency to flee at the slightest provocation, and will usually find some contrived and highly convenient way to win at the last possible second—usually by exploiting the environment around you. I may not be as fit or athletic as you, but I certainly know all your moves.”
 
She wasn't that predictable was she? Wait, was he really pointing his only weapon at her? While holding it with a single hoof? She flexed her wings briefly before she flapped them hard and shot forward at the stallion. His eyes widened, “What?!” she grabbed onto the mallet and abruptly jerked it out of his hoof.
 
She hovered in front of him and smirked as she grabbed the mallet with her forelegs and thrust it over her head, “You were saying something about knowing my moves?”
 
Bill looked at Midnight and the mallet now in her hooves in fear, “Now, Miss Dream, I'm sure we can negotiate an amicable solu—wait!” Before he could continue Midnight abruptly swung the mallet down at him. As the stallion wasn't nearly as agile as the bat pony was, he couldn't dodge out of the way and the mallet slammed down, squashing him flat against the cottage's wood floor.
 
She picked the heavy wooden object up and a brown disk popped off of its surface and rattled to the floor. It figured the one time she was able to end a fight quickly was the one time she wasn't getting paid to do it. She leaned the mallet against the back of her worn out, stained couch and looked down at the flattened stallion.
 
He was flattened out in much the same Sky Fighter had been, with his eyes tightly shut and teeth gritted. While his cream colored tail was poking out of his disked body, his wings had been compacted down inside and weren't exposed like they had been with Sky. Midnight grabbed him off the floor and twirled him around like an oversized coin, “I gotta say, Bill. This definitely was the easiest fight yet. I'm so glad you saved it for last.”
 
“You—ergh—won't escape, Miss Dream. Half the Night Guard's looking for you by now. You should just turn yourself in and save all of us the trouble. Who knows? Maybe they will pay you your own bounty.”
 
Midnight snorted at the disked stallion, “I'm sure they will.” She walked over to her kitchen window and opened it, “It was fun while it lasted, Bill, but I think it's time I get a new manager. See ya.” In one quick motion, she threw the flattened out stallion out her window like a frisbee and watched as he wobbled off into the air.
 
She closed the window. Good riddance. He had always been a pain to deal with. Her slightly improved mood was spoiled when she saw the wooden mallet laying against the plaid couch. Even Bill had turned against her. Who else would be coming after her? It seemed she wasn't the only pony in the world who had a hankering for bits.
 
But not just bits. A hundred thousand bits. She sat down at her kitchen table. Was it just her, or was the room spinning a little? She hadn't really thought about just how much money a hundred thousand bits was. She looked down at her lean, muscular body. A gray body that was now worth six figures. No wonder everypony was suddenly after her. She'd be too if she knew a pony in Hollow Shades worth that. That was enough bits to fill a whole burlap sack full.
 
With her plants taken care of, she had to get out of here. She stood up and raced into her bedroom. Hollow Shades never really was right for her. A new life. New friends. New not-worth-a-hundred-thousand-bits body. Maybe she could dye her mane a light blue or something? Purple was so last season. Nature mane colors were unfashionable these days.
 
She opened her dresser and started fishing through it. She grabbed a pair of wool socks and looked up at the potted ficus that sat on her dresser, “What do you think? How many pairs of socks am I really gonna need in Griffia?” One of the ficus' leaves, rustled by the movement of the panicked bat pony, broke off and gently twisted down to the soil below.
 
“That's right. Griffia-Minoutary is kind of mountainous, isn't it?” She grabbed several hooffulls of socks and tossed them behind her onto her bed, “I'm gonna need my boots, too,” she opened her bedroom closet and dug around in the pile of cardboard shipping boxes and old gardening magazines until she hit the layer of shoeboxes, yanked one out, and opened it. She frowned, “No, that's the sandals,” she dropped back into the pile and grabbed another, “No, running shoes.”
 
“There we are.” Third try was the charm. She placed the boots onto her bed next to the pile of socks. Now to go fetch the dufflebag so she could actually pack. She leapt out of her room and ran into her cramped living room. Tucked between the couch and the single end table she had was her trusty duffel bag that had served her well during all the fights.
 
She yanked it out from its resting place and walked toward the bedroom when she happened to look at the mallet that still rested against the couch. Midnight bit her lip as she thought back to what Bill had said about the bounty. A hundred thousand bits was a lot of money. If the Office of the Vanguard had lax rules about paying it, well, she'd be able to fully pay off her cottage, have one less bill to worry about, and still have tens of thousands of bits left over with that kind of cash. Equestria did reward good ponies, and what could be as good as turning oneself in to face justice?
 
Of course, there was always the punishment to consider. But that wouldn't be so bad, would it? Some probation. Maybe a little community service. She suddenly gasped in delight. Maybe even gardening community service. Equestria's justice system was all about redemption and love and all that mushy stuff. Canterlot's dungeons barely got any use these days. At worst, she'd be locked away in a damp dungeon for a few years.
 
But a hundred thousand bits was still a hundred thousand bits. She was only making twenty thousand a year as a gardener. The fighting league had helped, but with Princess Twilight blowing a gasket, the days of the Benefactors helping her out seemed to be at an end. She could be locked away for five years before those hundred thousand bits would no longer be worth it.
 
Being trapped in a dungeon for years. With the moss covered stone walls as her only plant companion. That didn't sound pleasant at all. She shook her head dismissively. That was a worst case scenario anyway. It wouldn't happen, and even if it did—a hundred thousand bits is still a hundred thousand bits.
 
Now convinced, Midnight dropped the duffel bag onto one of her kitchen chairs and fumbled in one of her kitchen cabinets for the phonebook. Once she found it, she quickly flipped through the government section looking for the number of the Office of the Vanguard. There was no point in just turning herself in if she didn't get the bits, after all. She needed confirmation.
 
Number now in hoof, Midnight would face her greatest challenge yet—dialing her rotary phone. She had always been baffled as to why somepony would design an object that required hooves to operate, but also used tiny holes. It was the same thing with teacups. The hours of teeth grinding and frustration had probably given rise to hundreds of anti-unicorn groups over the years. And she couldn't really blame them. Stupid unicorns and their small hole manipulating telekineses.
 
Thankfully, somepony had also invented the pencil, which was a tiny hole's natural predator. After a few stalled attempts, she was able to dial the number. As the phone was ringing the other end a rustling noise from outside her kitchen window drew her attention, “What was that?” After glancing outside, she returned her attention to the phone. Must be a raccoon.
 
“Office of the Vanguard. How may I help you?” the female voice rang out from the other end of the phone.
 
“Uh, yes, I'm calling to inquire about the bounties you're offering.” Midnight fiddled with the phone's curly cord.
 
“Yes, yes. Her Majesty's speech has really stirred up a lot of interest. We've been swamped by inquiries today.” Great, just what she needed. Dozens of bounty hunters lining up to cash in, “I take it you're also calling about the Midnight Dream bounty?”
 
“Yes.” she nearly smacked herself. How was she supposed to ask about turning herself in without raising suspicion now? “I-I mean, in a way. I was—uh—wondering what exactly the Vanguard's rules are on paying bounties. Like, hypothetically, if somepony with a bounty were to turn themselves in, would you still pay out the bounty to them?”
 
The mare on the other end stayed silent for a moment, “Ah, hypothetically. Well, normally, no, the Office of the Vanguard only pays out to the ponies that do the capturing, but if this hypothetical mare were to have greatly upset the diarchy by disabling a pony very close to it, we might be willing to make an exception. Why do you ask?”
 
Midnight could swear she heard the smile in the tone of that question, “I, uh, I was just curious. Y-You know, one of those questions that just won't leave and—and the princess's speech just happened to bring it to the forefront of my mind again. That's all.”
 
“I see. Well, we're always happy to answer questions, and just remember: all bounties are paid in cash. So you can quickly and easy pay any debts you may have.” Midnight winced. Never ask a “hypothetical” question, you might as well scream “This isn't actually hypothetical!”
 
“Thanks for answering my question.”
 
“You're welcome.”
 
Midnight hung the phone up and sat down at her kitchen table. If they actually paid her a hundred thousand bits, she'd be set. All her current money troubles would be over. Of course, there was the little issue of the justice system, but she'd cross that bridge when she came to it. First, she had a trip to Canterlot to prepare for. She smiled as she grabbed her dufflebag. If she was turning herself in, she wouldn't be needing it or her socks. There was no need for desperate packing. Maybe, just maybe, things were looking up.
 
A knock at the front door broke her good mood. Why'd she have to think positively? It would only end badly. She walked to the front door as all those news articles and talking heads discussing her karma rang through her head. She opened the heavy oak door, “Hello?”
 
On her porch stood two Night Guardponies, both decked out in armor, “Hello, ma'am. We're here to serve an arrest warrant for one Midnight Dream. She's wanted for felony battery, false imprisonment, and illegal use of a Class Red restricted enchantment.”
 
At least Princess Twilight hadn't tacked treason on the list. Midnight smiled apologetically, “She's in the other room. I'll go get her.”
 
The two guards glanced at each other, “That won't be necessary. We'll get her.”
 
“Oh, no. I insist,” Midnight slammed the door shut as fast as she could before locking and then dead bolting it. It wouldn't buy her a lot of time, but maybe she could still grab a scarf and—a strange low buzz caused her to turn around from the door. Four armored bat ponies, including the two that had just knocked, phased into the room from the shadows around her living room and kitchen.
 
“Oh... that's right. I forgot about that umbric teleportation thing,” The door knocked again. Resigned to her fate, Midnight unlocked and opened it. An armored gray mare with some fancy rank insignia attached to it now stood where the two stallions had previously. Judging from the snug fit of her light purple armor, the mare had a very similar athletic build to Midnight's own.
 
“Good afternoon, Miss Dream. I'm Major Shadow with the Night Guard. By order of Her Majesty, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you're under arrest. Now, we can do this the easy way and wrap all this up in time for dinner, or you can make things difficult. The choice is yours.”
 
Midnight glanced back into her cottage at the four bat ponies as a desperate plan formed. Despite the reputation the Night Guard had—that they were Equestria's special forces, that they assassinated the enemies of the princesses, that they served as Princess Luna's fanatical praetorian guard—the two mares and two stallions didn't seem to have heard about that reputation.
 
Only two of them were actually looking at her. Both seemed to just be idly looking at her, as if it was just another boring mission in the dull quest for a paycheck. The other two were too busy admiring all the wonderful plants strewn about the kitchen and living room to pay any attention to the wanted fugitive they had been dispatched to capture.
 
Could she really do it? Could she fight a whole detachment of Night Guard? She lived next to them. Worked with them. Occasionally played wallyball with them at the rec center. They were just normal ponies, not some secret elite taskforce. Echo, Speck, and Gloom Wing had all proven that. Sure she'd defeated them, but five-on-one? She wouldn't bet on those odds even if she were guaranteed to get her money back.
 
But it was either try and take them on or she surrender, get locked away in a dank dungeon for a couple years, and miss out on a hundred thousand bit bounty. She looked at Major Shadow, “I guess I choose 'difficult,' then,” she slammed the door on the shocked bat pony and turned around.
 
The four guards in her house looked up in sudden shock. This was just supposed to be a simple arrest and recovery. They weren't even really supposed to be here and were only brought it to ensure the Night Guard wouldn't be embarrassed that Equestria's most wanted mare was able to escape from right next to their headquarters.
 
As Shadow was reopening the door, Midnight grabbed the mallet that was still propped up against the couch and charged at the hapless stallion who was sitting across the room. The stallion's eyes widened and his leathery wings flared out in panic as he saw the crazy gardener running at him, “Wait, what are you doi—aeruk!”
 
Midnight slammed the mallet down on top of him, flattening him against her wooden floor. His armor made a metallic crunching noise as he was flattened down. His leathery wings were sprawled out on either side of the mallet and twitched in pain. Midnight lifted the mallet from off the floor and turned to the other shocked bat ponies. She heard the flattened stallion clatter to the floor from off the mallet and roll around like a coin behind her.
 
Shadow glared at the other three guards from the doorway, “Don't just stand there. Seize her!”
 
The three glanced at each other. That was easy for her to say. Had Shadow seen what that mare had just done to Evening Tide? She wasn't the one that had to risk getting turned into a manhole cover. Somewhat reluctantly, the two mares and stallion cautiously walked towards the mallet-wielding fugitive.
 
Midnight backpedaled and bumped against the console table that lined the back wall of her living room as the three started to form a semicircle around her. She briefly looked to her left at her kitchen. If she could get in there, she could make her way into her bedroom and out a window. She unfurled her wings and jumped into the air and over the bat ponies.
 
She winced as she heard the mallet shatter the lantern that hung above. She could worry about buying new light fixtures after she had ensured she wouldn't be locked away in a dungeon—or at least, had ensured she wouldn't be locked away without getting those hundred thousand bits.
 
She was just able to slip between the countertop and the ceiling cabinets and crash onto her kitchen table. The mallet was knocked from her forehooves and bounced against the oven. She looked up and saw the four bat ponies scrambling to follow her. She jumped from the table and toward her bedroom.
 
One of the mares pounced on her as she jumped and the two crashed into the wall next her oven, cracking and denting the plaster. Midnight gave a quick huff as she looked up at the wall. Yet another expensive repair she'd have to make. The mare had moved over Midnight to pin her to the floor while the stallion fumbled for a pair of shackles that were strapped to his side.
 
Midnight punched the mare in her soft underbelly, “Yeow!” And was reminded why ponies in the Night Guard wore chest plates. She flinched her now sore hoof just as the mare pinned her to her kitchen floor. She could teach a whole class at the rec center about pinning with how much it had been done to her.
 
“We've got her, ma'am.” the mare shot an annoyed glare at the stallion, who was now trying to unlock the fetters so he could secure them to Midnight's hooves. The other mare sat idly on one of Midnight's kitchen chairs as she watched the stallion struggle with the skinny metal key, “Any day, now, Sergeant.”
 
Midnight continued to struggle, but it was no use. That purple armor made it nearly impossible for her to fight back in any meaningful way. Any punches or kicks were just met with the stiff resistance one would expect from armor. She looked over at her old oven and smirked as she flexed her wings. It seemed the Night Guard was just as full of amateurs as the Royal Guard was.
 
She hit her wing against the oven. The door creaked open and cracked the mare right on her back. Dazed, she broke the pin and stumbled off Midnight. Midnight jumped from the floor and ran into her bedroom. The mare growled as she glared at the other two Night Guard, “I really appreciate the help, guys. For a second there, I thought somepony might lend a hoof.”
 
The stallion finally unlocked the shackles and meekly held them up, “Hey, don't chew me out. I was trying to get the restraints ready.”
 
Shadow cleared her throat, “I hate to interrupt your quaint conversation over coffee and a scone, but Midnight Dream's getting away!” The three guards nodded and chased after Midnight into her bedroom.
 
Midnight slammed her bedroom door shut and leaned against it, panting. They were going to be there any second and she needed to buy some time. That cheap, flimsy door wouldn't hold an insect, let alone the Night Guard. She needed to barricade it somehow. She looked to her bed and the pile of socks and pair of sandals that was on it from her earlier packing. That wouldn't work.
 
She looked over to her dresser, which still had its sock drawer open and smiled. But that certainly would. She walked behind it and started to push it toward her door. She grunted as her hooves lost traction and slide. It weighed a ton. She had blocked the horrible memory of lugging it inside from the garage sale she bought it from.
 
It wasn't going to be sliding anywhere, but maybe she could tip it over. It was far enough away from the door where it wouldn't hit it, but still close enough that it would probably block it from opening. She grabbed the top of the dresser and started heaving against it, trying to tip it from off it's base. She heard the door burst off it's hinges just as the heavy dresser started to sway over.
 
Gravity finally overcame the dresser and it fell over just as the stallion raced in. He skid to a stop and raised his forelegs in panic, “No, stoaawwwkkk!” the stained oak piece of furniture slammed down on top of him, flattening him out. The two mare guards ran in behind him only to see a pair of flattened hooves and a gray tail poking out from underneath the dresser gently curl and roll up.
 
They then looked up just in time to see Midnight's light purple tail slip out the open window. Major Shadow walked in and ground her teeth in irritation as the mares chased after Midnight through the window, “I can't let her slip away. I'll never hear the end of it if I do,” she jumped out the window to join them in the pursuit, leaving the flattened stallion to whimper softly from underneath the dresser.
 

 
The rusty shed door flew open and buckled into a heap from the force applied to it. Midnight rolled her eyes. She'd be lucky if she didn't spend a hundred thousand bits trying to escape her would be captors. She looked from the destroyed sheet metal door over to the piles of gardening equipment she had. There had to be something in here she could.
 
She grabbed her hedge shears and snipped them together several times before tossing them back into the trash can she stored them in. She wanted to escape the Night Guard, not lop off somepony's limbs. She next grabbed the handle of a metal rake. That would hurt, but likely wouldn't severely injure one of the guards. She tugged it a few times, but it had become entangled with some hoses or chicken wire or something and wasn't going anywhere.
 
“I think she went into the shed, ma'am.”
 
Midnight glanced outside in panic, before yanking on the rake some more. Screw it, she didn't have time to clean out her shed just to get a rake. She needed something and she needed something quick. In her haste to find a rubber mallet or bat, she stubbed a hoof on the heavy garden roller that leaned up against a stack of tomato cages.
 
“Ouch!” she shook the hoof while glaring at the roller. The number of times she stubbed a hoof against that stupid thing. It was hardly worth the pristine, professional cut lawns it helped create. It was also not tangled up with anything. The glare disappeared as she grabbed its wooden handle. It wasn't a mallet, but it would do.
 
She awkwardly tugged the roller out from next to the tomato cages and pulled it toward the shed's opening. She grunted as she yanked it around so she could get behind it and push, She looked down at the metal roller and panted. This thing wasn't really meant to be pushed. It was supposed to be pulled from behind, but she didn't have the time to get the harness and straps that were needed.
 
“Freeze!” one of the armored mares jumped into the shed's entrance and assumed an aggressive stance, ready to tackle the fugitive and secure her for transport. Her eyes widened in fear as she stared down the heavy roller that sat in front of her. She'd seen what had happened to her male colleagues.
 
Midnight smiled, “You first,” she pushed the roller forward. With this mare out of the way, she'd only have to take out Major Shadow and the other mare. Defeating the Night Guard's crack arrest squad would be easy. That is, if the damn roller would actually move fast enough. She struggled to push the heavy object. It very slowly rolled forward toward the lean guard.
 
The mare, still wide-eyed, was able to stumble out of the shed and swiped her orange tail out of the way just in time to avoid it getting pinched underneath the heavy drum. She gasped in relief at her narrow escape and looked over at Shadow, “M-Major, we've got a problem.”
 
Shadow rubbed her temple with a hoof. Today just hadn't been going her way. First, she was called in and missed the Garbonza, then Colonel Hawkeye and his long range observation dirigible was delayed getting back to base due to weather, now she had this purple maned pain in the neck to deal with.
 
“This is so unbelievably stupid,” Shadow looked over at Midnight as the mare muttered to herself trying to get the heavy roller over the metal lip of the shed. She really had to agree with Midnight on that one.
 
She looked over at her two incompetent subordinates, “This is a problem? She's trying to flatten you into a Night Guard rug with a big, heavy roller. You, a pony who is trained in aerial combat and doesn't need to be anywhere near the ground. Which is where said roller is permanently located. Are you seeing the connection?” Shadow sometimes wondered whether it was in the Night Guard's interests to only hire bat ponies. Not every bat pony was fit for the Night Guard, and there were times—like now—that she questioned Captain Borealis' training policies.
 
Both mares nodded and took to the air. Shadow followed them just as Midnight successfully overcame the lip of the shed and maneuvered the roller into her backyard. Best to follow her own advice and not risk getting squashed flat.
 
Midnight looked into the air and at the three bat ponies. Ponies now far out of range of her roller. She bit her lip. The two mares shot toward her in a strafe. Maybe she should have taken the time to untangle that rake. She ducked down behind the roller to protect herself from the mares' attack. Her eyes suddenly shot open in alarm.
 
Wait, she was ducking behind a heavy, highly movable roller. If the mares hit the roller, it would roll back on top of her and she'd be flattened out into a gray and purple sheet. She jumped out from behind the roller. It was better to take her chances with the strafing than risk a self-created flat fate. She didn't want to end up another piece of empirical evidence for karmatic field theory.
 
One of the mares hit the roller just as she jumped and she was painfully jerked back in midair as her tail was flattened out underneath it. She looked back and sighed in relief. Good thing she had jumped perpendicular to the roller or her tail would have trapped her just as it nearly did that guard. She peeled its flattened purple form off the grass and shook it several times to pop it back into shape.
 
She brushed it a few times to make sure all the hairs lined up neatly, “Good as ne—ah!” one of the mares slammed into her and she somersaulted several times before skidding into her garden. She sat up and cringed at the distinctive sound of a tomato plant snapping in half, “Oh no,” she looked down to see her butt firmly planted on the twisted remains of one of her plants.
 
The poor thing had never expected the pony who had protected and nurtured it to be so cruel as to slowly crush it to death. She hastily stood up and examined its remains. In a final act of bravery, the plant had used its leaves and stem to shield several of its precious tomatoes from the bat pony's large behind. She sniffed. Even in death, her tomato plants were trying to care for their young.
 
The two mares hovered several feet away. One looked over in bewilderment at the other, “Is she okay?”
 
The other shrugged, “Must be all that runoff from the base.”
 
Midnight turned to the two, her amber eyes alight in anger, “And what do you two have to say for yourselves, hmm?” she started walking toward the duo, who nervously looked at the miffed bat pony, “You just waltz into somepony's house, uproot her life,” she pointed at her garden and the small ditch she had dug through it when she crashed, “And destroy her innocent plants. What did they ever do to you?”
 
She pulled one of the mares down to the ground by her orange tail, “They didn't attack Rainbow Dash. They didn't get a bounty.”
 
The mare gulped, “Hey, now. Easy there.” This pony really was crazy, wasn't she? Why wasn't Starlight or Shadow doing anything?
 
“They didn't do anything. They were just sitting there, happy and carefree. Enjoying the sun and growing their sweet fruits.”
 
The mare raised a hoof, “But... tomatoes are a vegetable.”
 
Midnight punched her in her unarmored chin, causing the mare to crumple dizzily to the grass, “They're a fruit,” Shadow slammed a hoof against her face at the terrible one-liner. She really should intervene, but it was like watching a train crash. You could only stare on in slack jawed amazement and wonder how much worse it could get.
 
The other mare finally had enough of the insane bat pony and her lack of knowledge of the High Court's ruling in Nyx v Hayden. She tackled Midnight before the pony could attack the downed guard any further. The two rolled over each other several times, exchanging blows each time they were on top of the other.
 
As they wrestled and fought, the other guard picked herself up from the ground and shook her head a few times. That briefing really was true: Midnight Dream was a capable fighter. She looked over at the two mares' attempts to pin each other and leapt up, “Hang on, Starlight. I'm coming!”
 
Midnight had just pinned Starlight to the ground when she heard the other guard and turned her head. Her eyes widened as the guard jumped into the air to knock her off Starlight. Midnight flapped her wings and shot into the air. The guard winced as she slammed into her formerly pinned comrade instead of Midnight. The two guards were knocked silly by the fumbled assault.
 
An idea sprang into Midnight's head as she looked down at the two mares. She needed to hurry. She probably wouldn't get another chance. She quickly flew down and grabbed hold of the roller. Using her momentum, she was able to get it moving much faster than she had previously and set her sights on the the guards that were currently laying on top of each other.
 
Starlight looked up at the pony that was splayed out on top of her, “Get off, Nightshade. We gotta get up and take this crazy gardener out before she—oh no!”
 
Midnight quickly pushed the roller over the two mares' tails, flattening them them out. As she pushed the roller forward, the sound of armor crunching down reverberated from underneath her hooves. She carefully moved forward over the now flattened purple and silver armored ponies. Nightshade's leathery wings were sprawled paper thin against her equally flat back. Finally, with one last push, the orange mane and the back of Nightshade's head slide out from underneath her. She pushed the roller over a little ways more and looked back at her handiwork.
 
Starlight and Nightshade had been squashed flat, face-down against each other. Their nearly identical armor made it a little difficult to distinguish the paper thin lines that made up their trained, athletic bodies, but Midnight could see Nightshade's lighter coat and orange mane in contrast to Starlight's more standard bat pony gray coat and dark purple mane.
 
Because of the pressure of the roller and the speed that Midnight had moved it, the duo slowly peeled off the ground, firmly pressed together, and gently rocked back and forth. From the brief glimpses Midnight got of the pony on the bottom, she could see that Starlight was flattened in much the same position as Nightshade had been, face-down against Nightshade with her wings painfully sprawled out. The two mares had been squashed in virtually the same position, with their legs, bodies, and tails almost perfectly flattened against each other.
 
Midnight smiled at her efforts. She had to stop herself from walking over and rolling the duo up like a rug. There'd be no bits for winning this fight. Old habits die hard. She looked up into the sky. Where was that major at? She just had one more Night Guard to take care of and then she cou—
 
Shadow thrust a forehoof into Midnight's cheek as hard as she could, using her inertia from flying down to add some extra punch to her punch. Midnight was knocked off her hooves by the impact and flew into the air before hitting the side of her metal shed, denting it. She slowly slide out of the large dent and slumped to the ground, unconscious.
 
Shadow rubbed her sore hoof before looking over at the two flattened together mares who continued to slowly rock back and forth on the ground, “Solar Eclipse was right. If you want it done right, do it yourself.”

A low rumble filtered through the fog. Midnight groggily opened her eyes. What happened? She tried to raise a hoof to her head to gently rub it, but found they were tightly bound with rope. Last thing she remembered was defeated the Night Guard and—oh. She must not had defeated them all. She sucked in some air between her teeth and winced—both in pain from her sore cheek and from apprehension.
 
How badly had she been flattened out? No doubt the Night Guard had done something to her while she was unconscious—especially after what she did to those mares. She didn't feel any different—sore jaw aside—but she had no idea what it felt like to be flat. She looked down at her body, expecting to see it's new, even sleeker, cardboard thin form.
 
She let out a grateful sigh. Her bellybutton was as three dimensional as ever. Evidently, they were waiting for the justice system to render its punishment before dishing out some of their own. The rumble grew even louder. Just what was that? She looked up and saw she was sitting against a large metal hanger door.
 
No, no. That doesn't do it justice. It was enormous. Easily several times the size of her cottage. There was only one kind of object that would ever need a hanger that big. She looked up from the door and into the sky. Several hundred yards above, an equally large dirigible drifted around in a circle, the two large propellers mounted on its metal hull rumbled ever louder as it slowly made its descent toward the ground.
 
“Oh no,” she whispered. There was only one place she could be that had dirigibles. She looked around in a sudden panic. Several hangers lined the concrete taxiway she was on. In front of her were several landing pads and metal framework mooring masts. Off in the distance, she could see the distinctive barb wire topped-chain link fence that marked the inner boundary of the Crescent Moon Military Base, the Night Guard's headquarters.
 
“Ah, you're awake.”
 
“What?” Midnight looked over to see Major Shadow emerge from an opening in the hangar door.
 
The mare had a very smug smile on her face as she looked down at her restrained prisoner,“You certainly gave us quite a fight, Midnight. Thanks to you, my squad will be out of commission for weeks—say nothing of all the paperwork.”
 
This wasn't good. Not at all. Midnight writhed, trying to loosen the rope that had tightly bound her legs and wings. If the Night Guard imprisoned her, not only would she not get that hundred thousand bits, but she'd have to face the music—a damp, mossy imprisoned genre of music, “Wait, wait, wait. J-Just listen. You know I have a hundred thousand bit bounty, right?”
 
Shadow raised an eyebrow, “Uh-huh.”
 
She continued to struggle in vain. Those damn ropes were just too tight, “Well, we could split it fifty-fifty. You turn me in to the Vanguard and we both get a nice sack of bits. What do you say?” It was a little desperate—okay, a lot desperate, but it was all she had. Plan B was trying to get out of knots that would make a Foal Scout proud.
 
Shadow laughed, “I'll give you this, Midnight. You certainly play the role of criminal much better than that of gardener. Trying to bribe me. That's the first time that's happened,” she walked in front of Midnight, “Fifty or even a hundred thousand bits might be a lot to somepony as desperate as you, but it's nothing to me.”
 
“You know how much my pension'll be worth by the time I retire? I take your little bribe and that all goes down the toilet. This is the Night Guard, hon. Somepony's probably listening in on this conversation as we speak. The fighting league wasn't the only one with scrying spells. I'll be sure to talk to Princess Twilight about adding 'attempted bribery' onto the list of charges.”
 
Midnight slumped down. It was worth a try. She'd probably have taken the deal if the roles were reversed. Wait, princess? She looked up, “What about Princess Twilight?”
 
“What do you mean 'What about Princess Twilight?' Why do you think you're at the Crescent Moon Aerodrome and not a dungeon right now?” she pointed up at the dirigible, which was now several hundred feet lower than it had been previously, “Once Colonel Hawkeye lands and refuels, the Dreamscape will be taking us to Ponyville so the Princess can render her punishment.”
 
Midnight's eyes widened in terror. The Princess was going to be handling the trial and punishment personally. She figured she'd get convicted—there was video, well 'magical crystal recording' doesn't roll of the tongue as nicely, proof of her 'crimes'—but one of Equestria immortal alicorns dealing out the punishment? The very alicorn that cast the enchantment that got her into this mess in the first place?
 
Her writhing turned into thrashing as she continued to try and force her way out of the ropes. Shadow looked on in bemusement, “I don't blame ya. Rumor has it Princess Twilight's pissed about what you've done,” she walked a few feet away and leaned up against the metal door, “I'd be trying to escape too if I knew what was coming.”
 
She looked back at Midnight, “But you can try all you want. You're not escaping.”
 
Midnight continued to fight against the ropes. She had to escape. She wasn't about to give Princess Twilight the satisfaction of squashing her into a bat pony throw rug. The ropes still weren't loosening. She looked up when she noticed the rumble slow to a stop. The Dreamscape had shut off its engines as it made its final approach. Several ropes were lowered from the dirigible to ponies who were around the landing pad to help secure it.
 
She needed to get out of this fast. She hopped back and winced as the back of her head banged against the metal door with a loud echo. After making sure Shadow wasn't looking, she started to shake and flex. It was one of those old cliches she'd read about—the hero's tied up and so must cut herself free using some sharpened object. It was a big metal door. There had to be some sharp edges somewhere she could use.
 
Alas, the door was as smooth and even as a watermelon's rind. The ropes weren't about to get caught on anything. She needed to think of some other escape method before that airship landed and she was hauled away to a flat fate. Maybe if she tried to use the concrete as an abrasive to slowly break the rope and—
 
Shadow's face brightened as she stared at the dirigible and the ground crew who were working to secure it, “Excellent,” she turned to Midnight, “Why don't we make our way over? I want to make sure you're locked in the brig as soon as possible. Don't want you slipping your way out of those ropes, now do we?”
 
Midnight's eyes widened, “Wait, what?” Before she could inquire further, Shadow hoisted her up onto her back and walked toward the landing pad. Midnight continued to squirm. No, this couldn't happen. She needed to break free of the ropes first, then pretend to still be tied up so she could surprise Shadow and escape.
 
“Quite fighting it, Midnight. You're heavy enough as it is. I don't need you squirming around on top of it.” Shadow slapped Midnight with her wings several times to get her to stop wiggling around. Midnight's antics only grew more panicked and desperate as the two passed through the shadow of the dirigible and stopped on the concrete landing pad.
 
“Major Shadow.”
 
Shadow unceremoniously leaned over and Midnight toppled to the ground before saluting, “Colonel Defense, sir. Are you here to see off the prisoner?”
 
Midnight shook her head and glared at Shadow for a moment. Concrete was very soft, thank you. She looked over and her jaw dropped. Standing in front of Shadow with a stern look on his face, was Tower Defense. Dressed up in his fancy silver and purple armor. Her face brightened. Was he here to help her? He had to be.
 
“That I am, major. Prisoner transfers are the most likely time they try to escape. Considering how valuable this pony is—not to mention how dangerous she is—Captain Borealis wants to ensure this goes without a hitch.”
 
“Couldn't agree more, sir.”
 
“Oh?” Tower raised an eyebrow and gestured at Midnight, “Is that why the prisoner is bound with ropes and not actual shackles?” Midnight shot a glare at him. That wasn't helping at all. In fact, that was the exact opposite of helping.
 
Shadow let out a sheepish squeak, “Well, uh, Night Fire had the restraints and he was kind of flattened underneath a dresser at the time, so I had to improvise before the prisoner woke up, sir.”
 
“I see,” he motioned at one of the ground crew who had just finished tying one of the ropes to a metal loop in the ground. The bat pony threw some shackles to him, “Why don't we make sure she can't escape, hmm?”
 
“R-Right. Yes, sir,” The two walked up to Midnight.
 
This was when he was going to knock out Shadow and she could escape, right? He unlocked the iron fetters and placed the key in a pocket on his armor. She writhed some more, “Wait, Tower, it's me! You know, Midnight? Failing gardener? Crippling debt? All that? Y-You can't do this.”
 
“Major, please remove the ropes around the prisoner's forehooves.” Midnight breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she just had to plead a little. She'd have to remember to punch him when this was all over for nearly giving her a heart attack.
 
Shadow looked up in shock, “What?!”
 
Tower snorted in irritation, “I can't very well put restraints on the prisoner if there's rope currently where the restraints go, can I?”
 
“O-Oh yeah. That makes sense,” Shadow walked behind Midnight and started loosening the tight knots.
 
Midnight gasped, “What?!” she tried to kick. Why not? Everything else hadn't worked. She looked up at Tower in fear, “I-If this is about the whole 'join the Night Guard' thing, then I'll give it a try. Honest. Let me go and we can go right to the recruiting office.” Better to be a Night Guard grunt than a bat pony blanket.
 
As Shadow undid the knots, Midnight realized that it was just one long strand of rope that was bound around her. As the knots came undone, the rope loosened. It wasn't just her forehooves that were being freed. She stopped struggling. If the rope fully came undone, Shadow would probably tackle her, and given Tower was being no help whatsoever, the jig would really be up.
 
Shadow unwrapped Midnight's forehooves that had been bound behind her back and held them tightly. Tower really slowly walked up, shackles in hoof. It was now or never. Midnight quickly jerked hard to her left, causing the loose rope to fall to the ground and flipping the shocked Shadow right into Tower. The two guards fell to the ground while Midnight undid the last of the rope.
 
Shadow quickly shot upright with a growl, “Damn it,” she looked down at the dark gray stallion still sprawled out on the ground, “Colonel, we need to—colonel?” Tower continued to lay limply. Somehow he had been knocked unconscious. She snorted. Of course he had. She had barely even hit him. She looked back just in time to see Midnight fly into the air, “Oh, no you don't!” she leapt into the air in pursuit.
 

 
The wind whistled in Midnight's tufted ears. She'd done it. She'd actually escaped. Now all she had to do was fly out of one of Equestria's most secure military installations. One that was equipped with the latest anti-aircraft cannons, and had autogyros ready at a moment's notice to intercept any intruding—or escaping—ponies. She gulped. Getting out of her bonds would be the easy part.
 
“I told you you're not escaping,” she looked behind her to see Shadow closing fast, an annoyed snarl plastered across her face. She groaned. Not another chase. Even with the fighting league disbanded and indicted, she still couldn't escape them. She did a quick one eighty and zipped past Shadow before she could react and toward the Dreamscape, which was now floating in place several hundred feet above the landing pad and mooring mast.
 
She really hoped the Dreamscape was one of the high altitude observation dirigibles the Night Guard used to spy on foreign nations and not a battle one equipped with cannons, runetic shields, and ballistae the Night Guard used to intimidate dragons whenever they came a little too close to a major city for comfort.
 
The ground crew was unprepared for an escaped fugitive. A few of them sprang into the air for a moment as if to aid in the chase before they settled back to the ground and occupied themselves with the ropes and mooring mast. They were there to make sure the Dreamscape landed safely. Not to capture rouge ponies. Plus, that was Midnight Dream. They all saw the crystal recordings of her fights. The last thing any of them wanted was to wind up like Rainbow Dash.
 
Shadow growled at their cowardliness. Fine by her. If they didn't want to capture a dangerous pony, get personally thanked by one of the princesses, and likely get a big fat promotion, than that was their prerogative. She lunged forward and grabbed onto Midnight's flank, “Gotcha!”
 
“Nwagh!” Midnight spiraled out of control. She tightly shut her eyes as she saw the metal hull of the Dreamscape fill her vision. She slammed into it sprawled out, leaving a bat pony shaped dent. She shook her head. That was really strange. She expected the airship to have a much thicker, harder hull than that. Maybe even one that would have flattened he—Shadow made sure to hit the bat pony right in her stomach as she impacted. The impact caused both ponies to break through the thin hull.
 
Midnight gasped for air as she desperately floundered and paddled in the huge tank of water She burst to the surface, hacking, “W-what?” Why was there water on an airship? Was it some kind of weapon? She looked around in the pitch blackness in confusion before something grabbed onto her leg and sucked her back down into the depths.
 
Shadow pulled Midnight out of the bat pony hole and flung her through the air. Midnight shook her wet mane of some of the water and looked back. A waterfall was now flowing out the side of the Dreamscape from the Midnight-shaped hole in its side. The ponies on the ground scrambled around in panic. Why were they so panicked? A shiver ran up Midnight's spine. Maybe the water was really some kind of bio weapon or neurotoxin. And she had been swimming in it!
 
She rubbed her eyes as she looked at the airship, clearing some of the damp mane away from them. Was it just her, or was the Dreamscape starting to tilt to its right? Shadow crashed into her again, making sure to land several punches before the two toppled toward the ground. Midnight returned the favor with a few punches to the mare's unarmored face and legs, before she kicked Shadow in her chestplate and broke free of the mare.
 
Midnight jerked her head to her left at the sound of of the taut ropes that had been anchoring the Dreamscape snapping. She looked at the ship as it continued to lean to its right. The water had now started to slow from the hole. Midnight's ears twitched and she suddenly shot straight up and glanced down to see Shadow shoot by underneath.
 
Shadow quickly adjusted her course and flew up toward her. Midnight was about to rapidly decent and avoid another ramming attempt when the guard slowed to a stop and hovered a few yards away, panting, “What are you trying to do, Midnight? You can't seriously think you can escape,” she thrust her forelegs into the air, “Look around you. You're in the most secretive military base in Equestria. The Zebra, the griffons, Tartarus, even the Royal Guard can't get in here. What makes you think you can get out?”
 
“I've gotten out of worse situations before,” That was a blatant lie, but she was getting really tired of these grandiose speeches. First Speck, then Night Terror. Did her opponents memorize the things just waiting for the day they could give one?
 
Shadow snorted, “Sure you have,” she rushed at Midnight and once again grabbed her, causing the two to wrestle in midair, trying not only to punch and rib their opponent, but also maintain air control and stay in flight. Behind them, the Dreamscape opened its starboard ballast tank in a desperate attempt to stabilize itself and water rushed out in three waterfalls toward the ground crew who now tried to untie the remaining ropes that still held the airship in place.
 
The two ponies fought and tussled their way underneath the Dreamscape, moving in and out of the streams of ballast water as they punched and kicked each other. Both ponies paused for a moment to stare in shock at the airship as it quickly lifting higher into the air. Its massive form was now totally slumped over on its side, with the passenger compartment and engines feebly hanging on. Midnight was no dirigible expert, but that seemed about as good as a regular naval ship being on its side.
 
“Oaf!” Shadow slammed into her yet again and then pushed her up toward the damaged airship. Midnight tried to knee the armored mare to no avail before she reached over Shadow's back, trying to get at the pony's leathery wings. Before she was able to, they crashed into the metal skin of the Dreamscape's envelope, tearing a hole in it just as they had with the ballast tank.
 
The pressurized helium within immediately caused the two to rocket back out the hole as the loud hiss of the escaping helium became nearly deafening. They flew down toward the passenger compartment to escape the noise and potentially asphyxiating gas. Shadow overtook Midnight and once again rammed into her. Midnight grunted in annoyance. This was starting to become repetitive.
 
The two crashed into the rigid metal hull of the passenger compartment. Unlike the envelope or ballast tank, the riveted metal plates were thick and sturdy. Midnight gasped as the wind was knocked out of her by the impact with the hard surface. Shadow smirked. It had taken long enough to finally work. She went about landing punches onto Midnight's soft belly and chest.
 
After a few painful blows, Midnight countered with several punches at Shadow's face, which the mare blocked, “Nice try,” Midnight kicked her in the belly, knocking her away and into the air, before Midnight stood up and took a moment to catch her breath. Shadow again lunged at her, but a sudden jerk from the Dreamscape caused Midnight to stumble and fall onto the hull. Shadow flew by and was about to try again when she paused in midair.
 
The loud rumble of the Dreamscape's engines slowly wound up. Midnight looked to the rear of the compartment to see one of the large wooden propellers pointed straight down—well, relative to the passenger compartment. It appeared they were trying to use it to reorient the airship upright. Sure enough, the dirigible slowly began to tilt back up while also start to creep forward. No doubt due to the still straight-facing propeller on the other side.
 
Midnight leaped off the metal surface and back into the air. Maybe it was time to go on the offensive. She'd never get out of this base if she didn't. Shadow was caught off guard as Midnight grabbed her tail and swung her around several times, before throwing her at the Dreamscape. Shadow was unable to orient herself in time to stop from punching another hole in the dirigible's envelope, this time close to the rear of the ship.
 
The disoriented guard was helped out of the helium bladder by the rushing gas as it quickly escaped. Midnight cringed. She hadn't meant to aim Shadow at the airship's envelope. Any more holes like that and thing was likely to pop.
 
Shadow shook her head and clenched her teeth in frustration. How? How was it possible? Midnight was just a gardener! How could she be so good at combat? She glanced from one of the pony shaped holes to the other. Let alone just about singlehoofedly taking out a Nova-class dirigible. She needed to end this thing and end it fast.
 
She shot up from the airship and back toward Midnight. In response, Midnight hastily flew away. Being aggressive was fine and all, but you had to pick the right moments. She made a wide turn around the Dreamscape, which was now both twisting itself back upright and moving forward at a good speed. She couldn't help but notice both the pony-sized holes looked like they were getting bigger as more and more helium made its way out.
 
“Get back here!” Shadow grabbed a hold of Midnight's tail and smirked.
 
Midnight looked back, “Uh-oh,” Why did she get the feeling she was about to go on a little trip?
 
Sure enough, Shadow mirrored Midnight's earlier move and spun her around before throwing her in the direction of the airship. Midnight tried to flap her wings and stabilize herself, but just like before, the Dreamscape had another hole in its envelope, this time only a few dozen yards away from the first hole. Midnight popped out and looked over at the first hole. It was now about five times its original size and still sounded like a blustery day.
 
She flew back toward Shadow before hesitating. She needed to end this fight, and aerial combat was doing nothing except turn a dirigible into Swiss cheese. She needed a new tactic. Glancing around, she smiled. That could work. It would certainly be different. She rushed toward the ground.
 
Shadow glared at the retreating pony, “What's the matter, Midnight?” she flew after her, “Can't take the heat?” Neither pony saw the Dreamscape, now fully upright, start to falter in the air and sag toward the ground as the metal skin between two of the holes started to tear away.
 
Midnight hugged the concrete taxiway as she sped along just above it. One of the mooring masts loomed in front of her. It's metal skeleton would make Shadow's ramming attempts impossible and force the mare into some ground combat for once. She still needed to figure out a way around her armor, but let's take it one problem at a time.
 
Shadow made one last push to catch up to the cowardly mare, but Midnight slipped into safety between the iron framework of the tower. Shadow scowled as she flew around the tower several times like a hound dog that had trapped its prey up a tree. She stopped and landed, glaring at the pony between the iron bars. The glare broke as she let out a lengthy chuckle.
 
Midnight looked on in concern at the laughter. She hadn't broken the mare into some kind of psychosis, had she? The last thing she wanted was a literally insane pony trying to attack her, “A-Are you okay?”
 
Shadow wiped a tear from her eye, “Oh, I'm fine. I just find it ironic. You, a fugitive, trying to find safety behind metal bars. It's just one of those moments.”
 
Midnight looked around her makeshift metal cage, “Heh, heh, I guess it is a little funny.”
 
“And the best part is, I don't even have to do anything,” Shadow grinned victoriously, “You've caught yourself. I just have to make sure you stay in there until reinforcements arrive and we can properly detain you.”
 
“...Oh,” Midnight bit her lip. She hadn't really thought this one through. She was still in fighting league mode, okay? Her opponent was always supposed to try and attack her, not sit around and guard her. That's not how any of the fights had gone. She could still fix her screw up. She slowly backpedaled toward on of the openings in the metal framework.
 
Shadow leapt up and quickly flew around to the opening, “Now, Midnight. What did I tell you? You're not escaping. Just sit down and relax. You'll be shackled on on your way to Princess Twilight in no time.”
 
Alright, new plan. Midnight flapped her wings and took off. Maybe she could fly her way ou—ouch! She slammed her head against one of the iron cross beams and crumpled to the ground hissing. She furiously rubbed the top of her head and the lump that was no doubt already forming.
 
Shadow chuckled, “Tsk, tsk. You'll never escape like that,” she let out a relaxed sigh and rested her forehooves against the metal bars, “You know, I hope more fugitives act like you. It would make my job a Tartarus of a lot ea—what are you doing?”
 
Midnight had her rump firmly planted on the ground, her eyes wide and pupils narrowed to pinpricks in terror. Her wings twitched in anticipation of their imminent use. She stumbled backward before desperately climbing her way out of the mooring mast, “R-Run!” she squealed before tripping her way out of the tower and taking flight.
 
Shadow was too dumbstruck to stop Midnight. She looked like Nightmare Moon herself had just returned and severed Celestia's head right before her eyes. A loud roar caused her tufted ears to perk. She looked behind herself and her eyes quickly mirrored Midnight's.
 
The Dreamscape, now with a massive tear in its envelope where the holes had once been, was careening uncontrollably straight at her. Ponies bailed out of the passenger compartment while the propellers desperately whined in protest, trying futilely to spin in reverse and slow the airship's speed and rapid descent.
 
Shadow remained firmly in place, unable to move. It was like her hooves had been glued to the ground. She only looked on as the shadow of the dirigible loomed over her, followed quickly by its crumpling metal form as it impacted the ground and quickly slide toward her. She flinched and whimpered, “Oh horseapples.”
 

 
Midnight panted. Her heart felt like it might explode. She needed to move and she needed to move fast. This damned mooring tower was going to be her undoing. She pulled a hoof free and fumbled away from the metal deathtrap before she flexed her wings and leapt into the air. A noise resounded from behind her.
 
It was a terrifying noise. She didn't think she'd ever forget what it sounded like. The sound of metal groaning from the extreme forces it was going through before finally buckling. The pops of rivets bursting from their holes as they shot out like bullets. The whistle of helium as it tore free from the envelope that contained it. The sputtering of engines that had failed to slow the metal hulk.
 
Don't look back. Looking back was about the worst thing she could ever do. She just needed to fly. Focus on flying and ignore the dark silhouette of an airship that was creeping up and the bits of dust and metal shavings that were lightly buffeting her purple tail. Just fly and don't look back.
 
She tilted her head over her shoulders. The Dreamscape was right on her tail. She could only see the metal skin of its envelope as it barreled toward her. Its rounded metallic form was rapidly crumpling down as the interior support structure groaned and collapsed from the stress, but it was still coming right at her. When was it going to slow down?! It had to slow down eventually, didn't it?
 
She looked forward once more just in time to see the frame of another mooring mast zipping straight toward her, “Yah!” she veered to her right to avoid it and spiraled out of control, desperation trying to use her tail like a rudder to right herself. She corkscrewed toward the ground as she heard the airship's twisted form crash into and bulldoze over the mooring mast like it was made of tissues. Yup. Looking back had been a mistake.
 
If there was one bit of good news, it was that the concrete taxiway had given way to soft grass. Soft relative to concrete, that is. It sure doesn't feel soft hitting it at thirty miles an hour. Just before impact, she tightly wrapped her wings against her lean body. It was something she'd learned during flyer's ed. An open wing is a broken wing.
 
The grass was as soft as she had expected. She hit it shoulder-first, before ragdolling and skipping across it several times. She finally came to a rest several dozen yards from her first impact. She groaned in pain. Something was surely broken. She sat up. Everything seemed to hurt, but nothing quite had that agony of a broken bone. Huh. Maybe she really was still a little lucky.
 
The horrible death groan of the Dreamscape caused her to gulp. Nope. She wasn't lucky. She looked behind her to see still sliding toward her, albeit much slower than it had been going only moments earlier. The grass and dirt had caused it to dig in and gouge out a deep skid mark in the ground.
 
She hobbled away, trying to outrun it before she looked to her side and groaned, “Oh, Midnight. You're an idiot.” Why? Why didn't she do this before? She started to limp perpendicular to the path of the Dreamscape. It had been a rough day, okay? First the Garbonza, then Bill, then the Night Guard. You can't blame her for not doing the obvious thing. Especially when there was a hundred ton dirigible inches from squashing her flatter than a pancake.
 
Sure enough, after only a short trek, she was clear of the twisted hulk of an airship and collapsed to the ground with a sigh of relief as its buckled metal scraped its way past her. Her shoulder hurt. Her jaw still hurt from Shadow punching her. Her wings hurt from all the flying. She chuckled as she panted. But she wasn't flat, or trapped in a cage, or currently in the brig of an airship on her way to face Princess Twilight.
 
After a few moments of relief in the cool grass, she stood up and looked over the wreckage. The Dreamscape had totally disintegrated. Not surprising given how easily she had been thrown into it. Her jaw slipped open when she looked down the taxiway she had flown in panic from. A three hoofball field long path of debris stretched from its initial impact at the mooring mast to where the remnants had come to a rest.
 
Smoke started to billow out from the hulk of metal. She walked around it, glancing every few seconds from it to the line of debris. The passenger compartment and a large portion of the lower part of the envelope made up the wreckage. Mangled i-beams and trusses poked up from inside the envelope's broken shell. In the distance, she could hear the wail of sirens.
 
She picked up a chunk of the metal skin. It was mind numbing how destructive this all was. No wonder some pegasi refused to fly inside the things. Why risk it when you can just fly on your own? She had new found sympathy for earth ponies and unicorns—well, maybe not unicorns. They still had all those fancy cloud walking and butterfly wing spells they flaunted.
 
A chuck of the envelope collapsed into the wreckage, causing her to jump. She looked over. Thank Luna the crew had bailed out. Hypnotizing the Element of Loyalty into cramming herself tightly into a bottle was one thing, but she couldn't bear the thought of seriously injuring or even killing somepony.
 
She walked over a heavy bulkhead. A muffled groan from underneath made her freeze mid-step. B-But, they had all gotten out! She'd seen them jump from the airship. Panic soon flooded in as she jumped off the bulkhead and danced in place. What should she do? She didn't have medical training—that rec center class cost fifty bits. Should she help the trapped pony? Wait for the rescue team and get them to help? Would they arrest her immediately afterward for causing the crash?
 
She slipped her forehooves under one end of the bulkhead and grunted as she lifted it up. It was an airship. Weight had to be a design consideration. So why were the bulkheads so damn heavy? With some effort, she was able to lift a side of it several feet off the ground, “Hello? Is anypony there?” Quite concerning, there wasn't anything under the bulkhead but compacted down grass. So where did that groan come from?
 
Maybe it had come from the wreckage itself and echoed over? She let the reinforced metal edge slip from her forehooves and slam back down onto the ground with a heavy thud, being mindful of where her rear hooves were at. The last thing she wanted was to flop her way out of here with ribbon hooves.
 
A soft whimper immediately followed the bulkhead's impact. She looked around in confusion. The now ever present sirens grew louder. She could swear it was coming from underneath the bulkhead. It had to be. She reached down again and hoisted it back up. Her forelegs started to shake under the strain. She could keep this up. The bulkhead was dropped once more.
 
She needed to find something to prop up against it to keep it upright. That shouldn't be too hard. She was in the middle of a massive pile of wreckage, after all. Another moan only served to strengthen her surety. The moans had to be coming from underneath it somehow. A quick search revealed a slightly twisted piece of metal frame.
 
Once more, the bulkhead lifted off the ground. This time, it was shakily laid onto the frame. Midnight paused and fliched back when the frame shifted position and sank into the grass a little. She tapped the bulkhead a couple times to make sure it was steady before she poked her head underneath it. The grass had been firmly compacted down by the heavy metal wall. There wasn't a hole or depression or anything.
 
She furrowed a brow and glanced at the bottom of the bulkhead before stumbling away in shock. Plastered firmly to its surface, was the flattened form of a mare. Her crumpled purple armor and tufted ears confirmed she was a Night Guard. Midnight looked back to the flat mare and her eyes widened. It was Major Shadow. She recognized that gray fur and dark blue tail anywhere.
 
Getting run over by a hundred ton airship had really done a number on the mare. She was definitely thinner than even Spitfire had been. Her armor had been tightly crushed against her lean underbelly. Her legs had been sprawled out flat, while her tongue poked out from her flattened out muzzle. Her tail and some frazzled strands of her dark blue mane weren't spared either.
 
There wouldn't be any reward for turning her in, but Midnight still tried to peel Shadow's flattened out head off the bulkhead. She wasn't cruel. She wouldn't leave the mare trapped under a heavy metal sheet for Luna knows how long. That is, if she could actually peel her off it. Shadow remained stubbornly stuck to the bulkhead like a sticker. Midnight knew it was a hundred ton airship that had flattened her out, but come on.
 
Midnight stuck her tongue out in concentration as she worked on scraping at Shadow's muzzle. If she could... just get... a little edge... of Shadow's snout off then she could get the grip she needed to peel the rest of the paper thin mare free. There! Midnight grabbed hold and pulled. Despite the considerable force and effort she was using, Shadow only very slowly peeled free of the bulkhead. She'd been pressed very firmly against it.
 
The tip of Shadow's tail finally came free and Midnight was thrown onto her back, letting go of the squashed major. Shadow wobbled and flapped in the air, thin as a sheet of paper. A light breeze caused her to gently flutter several yards away before she hit a piece of the Dreamscape's hull and crumpled softly to the grass.
 
Midnight walked over and flapped her several times like a bed sheet to straighten her out, before letting her fall back to the grass. She placed the bottom of what appeared to be a heavy chair on top of Shadow's tail to prevent her from blowing away. Shadow's red eyes were open and glazed over. Her wings were flattened awkwardly against her armor, as though she hadn't quite been able to fold them up in time.
 
The sirens had reached their ear splitting peak, “Quick, over here! You guys put out the boiler fire. We'll check for survivors,” Midnight snapped her eyes from the flattened guard and looked over her shoulders. The rescue teams had arrived. Time for her to get out of here. In all the chaos and panic, she'd forgotten just how good of an opportunity the Dreamscape crashing had been. It made for the perfect getaway.
 
While everypony was busy with the crash, she could avoid all the autogyros and anti aircraft cannons and slip away free as a bird. Then, after a good night's sleep, she'd get to Canterlot and collect those hundred thousand bits with her name on it—quite literally as a matter of fact. She just needed to do that before something else went wrong.
 
She quietly slipped into the air. The sun was slowly creeping its way over the horizon and dusk was settling in. What a day it had been. She glanced back at the destroyed airship and the flattened Night Guard that still gently fluttered off the ground, only being kept in place by the weight on her tail. Midnight looked in the direction of her house. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it wasn't just the Wonderbolts or Royal Guard that were incompetent. Maybe the whole military was.