Applejack walked back towards a hill that overlooked Sweet Apple Acres where she left Martin to keep an eye out for anything while she was out getting the rest of the food into the town hall. Honestly, she wasn’t sure why she chose him for the task, she just figured she’d give the stallion something to do since he offered.
“Well howdy there Martin, I’m back,” she said, walking up to the light green stallion.
“Hey Applejack, everything go well?” he greeted her.
“Darn tootin, not a pastry outta place, anythin happen here?” She already knew nothing happened. She trusted her family and even if something did happen, he was supposed to fetch her.
“Nope, everything went dandy. Funny thing, though,” uh oh, she didn’t like the sound of that.
“Funny ‘ha ha’, or funny ‘Ah should start gettin upset’?” she leveled a stare at him.
“Don’t worry, it’s funny ‘ha ha’. I had some trouble figuring out all your family names. So I decided select a few and put them in charge of different fields. Those few got special nicknames that are easy for me to remember,” huh well that’s interesting.
AJ: “Really now? And what might those be, if I may ask?” she had to hear this.
M: “Well we got Who on the first field, What’s on the second, I don’t know’s on third-“ what?
AJ: “That’s what ah want to know.”
M: “I said Who’s on first, what’s on second, I don’t know’s on third-“
AJ: “Woah there, ah thought you said you gave them nicknames so you’ll remember.”
M: “I did.”
AJ: “And you still plum forgot?”
M: “I didn’t forget.”
AJ: “Then who’s the feller on the first field?”
M: “Yes.”
AJ: “Ah mean the feller’s name.”
M: “Who.”
AJ: “The pony on the first field.”
M: “Who.”
AJ: “The one in charge of the first field.”
M: “Who.”
AJ: “The pony that’s-“
M: “Who is on the first field.”
AJ: “That’s what ah’m asking YOU who’s on the first field.”
M: “That’s the pony’s nickname.”
AJ: “That’s who’s nickname?”
M: “Yes.”
AJ: “Well go ahead and tell me.”
M: “That’s it.”
AJ: “That’s who?”
M: “Yes.”
Applejack stared at him for a few seconds trying to see if he’s messing with her.
AJ: “Look, IS there a pony in charge of the first field?”
M: “Certainly.”
AJ: “Who’s managing it?”
M: “That’s right,” ok, this was going nowhere, maybe if she rephrased the question.
AJ: “If ah were to call out there, who answers back?”
M: “He certainly would,” it didn’t help.
AJ: “All ah’m trying to find out is the fellers name managing the first field.”
M: “Who,” here we go again.
AJ: “The pony ah’m calling out to”
M: “That’s it.”
AJ: “Who answers my call?”
M: “He does, and he’ll do it lickty split, and if he can’t he’ll ask one of his workers”
AJ: “Who’s worker?”
M: “Yes.”
Her patience was wearing down by his answers.
He noticed her look, “What’s wrong with that?”
AJ: “Look, all ah wanna know is, if ah ask the feller his nickname, how will he say it?”
M: “Who.”
AJ: “The pony in charge of the first field.”
M: “Who.”
AJ: “How will he say his name?”
M: “That’s how he’ll say it.”
AJ: “Who?”
M: “Yes,” good gravy this was going no where.
AJ: “All ah’m trying to find out is what’s the pony’s name in charge of the first field.”
M: “No, What is on the second field.”
AJ: “Ah’m not asking you who’s on the second field.”
M: “Who’s on the first field.”
AJ: “One field at a time, thank you.”
M: “Well don’t change the managers around then,” she was not!
AJ: “Ah’m not changing nopony!”
M: “Easy Applejack, there’s no need to shout.”
AJ: “Ah’m only asking you, who’s the pony on the first field?”
M: “That’s right,” maybe he’ll finally answer
AJ: “Ok”
M: “Alright.”
But when he didn’t immediately answer she insisted, “What’s the pony’s name on the first field?”
M: “No, What is on the second field.”
AJ: “Ah’m not asking you who’s on the second field.”
M: “Who’s on the first one.”
AJ: “Ah don’t know.”
M: “Oh he’s on the third field, we’re not talking about him, now let’s get back to-”
Aj:“Now how the hay did ah get on the third field?”
M: “Why, you mentioned his name.”
AJ: “If ah mentioned the third field manager’s name, who did I say is managing it?”
M: “No, Who’s managing the first field.”
AJ: “What’s on the first field?”
M: “What’s on the second field.”
AJ: “Ah don’t know.”
M: “He’s on the third field.”
AJ: “There we go again, back on the third field,” she felt like they were going in circles.
Aj: “Can we just talk about the third field and not go off it?”
M: “Alright what do you want to know?”
AJ: “Who’s managing the third field?”
M: “Why do you insist on putting who in the third field?”
AJ: “What am ah putting in the third field?”
M: “No, What is on the second field.”
AJ: “You don’t want who on the second field?”
M: “Who’s on the first one.”
AJ: “Ah don’t know.”
“Third field” they said together.
Martin blinked at Applejack’s rising anger before she took a breath.
AJ: “Look, you gotta have somepony pulling filled baskets out of the fields right?”
M: “Sure.”
AJ: “The puller’s name?”
M: “Why.”
AJ: “Ah just thought Ah’d ask ya.”
M: “Well, I just thought I’d tell ya.”
AJ: “Then tell me who’s pulling baskets?”
M: “Who is managing the first field.”
AJ: “Ah’m not-WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FIELDS RIGHT NOW!”
M: “Applejack, deep breaths.”
AJ: “Ah wanna know, what’s the pony’s name pulling baskets?!”
M: “What’s managing the second field.”
AJ: “Ah’m not asking you who’s managing the second field.”
M: “Who’s managing the first field.”
AJ: “Ah don’t know.”
“Third field!” they said together again.
She was getting tired of this.
AJ: “The pullers name?”
M: “Why”
Aj: “Because!”
M: “Oh, he’s in charge of the plows,” oh for crying out loud, she landed somewhere else entirely now.
AJ: “Look, look, look, let’s ignore that for now. You got somepony getting fresh water to all of them?”
M: “Of course.”
AJ: “The water pony’s name?”
M: “Tomorrow.”
AJ: “You don’t wanna tell me today?”
M: “I’m telling you now”
AJ: “Then go ahead.”
M: “Tomorrow.”
AJ: “What time?”
M: “What time what?”
AJ: “What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who’s the water pony?”
M: “Now listen, Who is not the water pony-”
AJ: “Ah’m gonna buck you if you say ‘Who’s on the first field’!”
M: “Applejack just calm down.”
AJ: “Ah wanna know what’s the water pony’s name.”
M: “What’s in charge of the second field.”
AJ: “Ah don’t know.”
“Third Field” once again they say together. Time for something else.
AJ: “You got somepony in charge of supplies right?”
M: “Certainly.”
AJ: “The supplier’s name?”
M: “Today.”
AJ: “Today? And tomorrow’s the water pony?”
M: “Now you’ve got it!”
“All we’ve got is a couple of days running around,” she thinks she’s figured out this bit at least somewhat, “Ah’m pretty good at getting things moving around here.”
M: “So your family has told me.”
AJ: “So hypothetically, ah help Tomorrow move some water around.”
M: “Ya?” ok, now to figure out the rest of it.
AJ: “Ah go all the way out to the first field and give the water to WHO?”
M: “Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right” oh consarn it.
Aj: “Ah don’t even know what ah’m talking about!”
M: “That’s all you have to do”
AJ: “Is to give the water to the first field manager?”
M: “Yes.”
AJ: “Now who’s got it?”
M: “Naturally.”
Did she finally get an answer?
AJ: “Look, ah get the water to the first field manager, somepony’s gotta get it. Now who has it?”
M: “Naturally.”
AJ: “Who?”
M: “Naturally.”
AJ: “Naturally?” Was that it then?
M: “Naturally.”
AJ: “So ah give the water to Naturally?”
M: “No you don’t, you give the water to Who.”
AJ: “Naturally.”
M: “That’s different.”
AJ: “That’s what ah said.”
M: “You didn’t say that.”
AJ: “Ah give the water to Naturally.”
M: “You give the water to Who.”
AJ: “Naturally.”
M: “That’s it.”
AJ: “That’s what ah said!”
M: “Listen, you ask me.” Alright she’ll play this game of his
AJ: “Ah give the water to who?”
M: “Naturally.”
Aj: “Now you ask me.”
M: “You give the water to Who.”
Aj: “Naturally.”
M: “That’s it.” Ah ha! Caught him in his act.
AJ: “SAME AS YOU!”
M: “Don’t change them arou-“
AJ: “SAME AS YOU!” Alright she’s had enough of this, “Ah give the water to who? Whoever it is has the water and ah go over to second field.”
M: “Yes.”
AJ: “Who’s got his water, and ah’m in second field giving it to What and then I go to third field and give water to I don’t know. Then ah group up with Tomorrow and get a refill.”
M: “Ya.”
AJ: “I take the new water to Because out with the plows. Why?! I don’t know! He’s managing the third field and I don’t give a hoot!”
M: “What?”
AJ: “Ah said, ah don’t give a hoot!”
“Oh! That’s our entertainment,” Martin pointing out towards cousin Fiddlesticks, who was playing her fiddle. That’s it!
Applejack threw her hat to the ground “CONSARN IT! Martin, you get out of here right now!”
“Huh?” he looked at her in surprise.
“Get out of here right now before ah do something we’ll both regret!” she yelled into his face.
“Alright, alright. I’ll leave then,” he picked up her hat and placed it on her head, “I’m sorry you got mad… for whatever reason.” He walked away without an arguement.
Applejack took a few deep breaths, “Dagnabbit, now I feel parched.” She walked over to the first field, “Hey, ah don’t care who can get at the water, but I’d like some.”
A pony with a name tag that said Who walked over to her with a ladle of water, “Here ya go, Applejack,” which only seemed to cause her eye to twitch.