On a perfect night in the summer of 2040, Alma dreamed of escaping death. Fleeing from disease, having her brain chopped out and scanned, and becoming a digital mind. She woke up, slowly remembering that she'd done exactly that just months ago.
She lay in her hotel bed as a humanoid squirrel, clutching a warm, fluffy blanket that happened to be her tail. A contented chitter escaped her. She sat up, giggling at the noise. "Best way to wake up." When she'd entered the virtual world of Talespace, she'd been allowed to become anything she wanted. It was time to try something different, though.
Beside, her hotel room was getting tiresome. Other than the view of the thousand-story Ivory Tower from the balcony, it was just a generic room holding her little collection of adventuring gear and teaching paperwork. This world's smell/taste system had finally gotten fixed, but there was still only so much she could take of Hotel Computronium's buffet. The place was limbo, not heaven.
Alma taught part-time in Free Texas using robotics, but she had a long weekend ahead without having to cross between plain-old Earth and her new home. She thought about all the places she could go and all the friends who might pull her into commitments she wasn't ready to make.
Alma crawled out of bed and stretched, ears to tail, glad for being alive to have such problems. Alma had taken to writing notes to Ludo, Talespace's ruling AI, on the desk's notepad. Today she wrote: "Thank you."
One shower later, Alma had decided to go exploring and steer clear of any existential angst for once. She geared up and walked out to the cavern world of Ivory Tower. It was time to be a pony.
She had only seen a few of the worlds of Talespace, each one with its own physics. Today she traveled through the vast cave of the Ivory Tower, and headed for a gate to the Hooflands. The entryway had its own curving entry-cave along the main cavern's border, similar to the little brothel empire Alma had once dared to visit. This area let the usual dark blueish stone fade into vibrant grass and flowers. Alma squinted. There was a different graphics filter here that made everything look slightly cartoonish. A giant horseshoe marked the edge of a shimmering world portal. Next to it stood a wooden sign:
"To Hooflands (West)." A map showed that another portal was on the opposite side of Ivory Tower. "A magical land of equines, cervids and other creatures living in friendship and harmony. If you enter, you'll become a small, quadruped cartoon horse! (Free transformation on entry/exit.) Follow the starting quest to change from your initial form into a majestic deer, a winged pegasus or one of several other species."
The sign added: "Roleplay rules in effect. The locals will be happy to teach you the land's history. Please don't discuss Earthside matters outside of designated OOC taverns. Mean behavior is punishable by a traditional PVP beatdown."
Alma laughed. For a world based on an early 21st-century cartoon, it had a formal attitude. Worth having a look, though. Who knew? She might want to get a house there. She carefully stepped through the warm, rippling portal.
#
She landed on all fours with a click of hooves on stone. Alma grinned and looked herself over. Grey cartoon horse with an unusually bushy tail. The angle of her vision seemed wider than usual. She tried walking around and stumbled repeatedly in the entry chamber before reaching the door that towered over her. She giggled, trotting in place and saying, "I'm a pony!" Unfortunately her clothes and equipment hadn't come with her, so she was nude. She blushed. Considering the family-friendly theme of this place she doubted anything would show.
A checkpoint labeled "Crystal of Salvation" hovered in one corner. She pinged it with one hoof to set her respawn point in case anything here killed her.
Alma craned her neck way over to one side and spotted a table holding a golden key to the obvious keyhole on the door. Picking it up with her forehooves was possible, what with her front legs' flexibility and the way her hooves stuck to things as though covered with tape. Walking on her hindlegs was a disaster, though. She tripped immediately and dropped the key. She spent a minute testing how ordinary walking had become so hard in this body, and four-hooved movement much easier.
She had to grab the key in her mouth to get it to the door. "Germs don't exist here," she mumbled to herself as she slid the key into place. At last the door opened, spilling light across the entryway. She stepped outside and forgot to keep walking.
Alma stood on a hillside overlooking a town at the mouth of a shining river. A castle of obsidian and blue marble watched over a land of sunshine, half-timber houses, and a bustling coast. The sky was filled with pegasi, griffins, airships, hot-air balloons, and buildings with clouds for foundations or even made of clouds. Where Ivory Tower had been a surreal but practical land for work and play, the Hooflands were a fantasy that had sprung to life.
Words brushed themselves directly onto her vision, and a fanfare played from nowhere. You have discovered Noctis: Queendom of the Night.
Not Canterlot or the like? Talespace went by the post-revolt idea of copyright, so it was odd that the old cartoons' setting hadn't been lifted wholesale.
She trotted down the hill road, leaving behind a stone fort that looked designed to keep visitors in, not out. Its outer gate stood wide today. The path took her toward the main town, past cheery thatch-roofed houses. The Mango Inn ambushed her around a bend, hidden by the first buildings. A cheery fruit-themed sign welcomed her to a two-story place with a downstairs tavern and hotel rooms up on a balcony.
A bat-like pegasus with leathery wings and slitted golden eyes trotted downstairs with a broom in her muzzle. "Hi!" she mumbled, and spat it out. "Let me guess. Recent uploader?"
Alma nodded. "Are brooms necessary in the Hooflands?"
"You mean is there dirt? Dust, more like. You have to put effort into maintaining things or they get unpleasant, then broken." She grinned, exposing cute little fangs, and tapped her head with one hand. "The name's Double Mango. Uploader. Before I give you the spiel, you want I should skip the roleplaying stuff and just tell you what to do?"
"No, let's hear the storyline."
"Sure. Ahem! Welcome, traveler! This is the land of Noctis, in the western Hooflands. If you feel destiny's call in this magical land, you should visit our queen. All hail Nightmare Moon! She will grant part of her magic to ponies who prove that they've started making friends."
Alma grinned. "Back up. Your queen is Nightmare Moon?"
"Only the most glorious of equine rulers!"
"And she wants people --"
"Ponies."
"To make friends," Alma finished.
Mango nodded enthusiastically. "Can't have a powerful and fearsome society if her subjects can't get along, right? It's part of her sinister plans."
It made a certain amount of sense. Nightmare Moon had barely been seen on the show, but the episode depicting her as a ruler made it clear that far worse alternate worlds were possible. "Befriending ponies sounds more fun than a quest to 'kill five slimes'. How do I prove I've made friends?"
"You must learn the names and some information about at least three ponies of different races."
"That's more like 'acquaintances' than 'friends'."
Mango shrugged her wings. "It's a start."
"Are you busy, then? I actually am curious about what running an inn here is like. A friend of mine's a cook at a place called Thousand Ales."
"You mean Kai Appian? The man behind the Great Taste DLC?"
Alma giggled. "Is that what we're calling it?" Kai, one of Talespace's first "native" AIs, had just perfected a rewrite of the smell/taste system to fix one of the obvious bugs of being a digital mind: bland scents and food. Alma breathed in deeply and smelled sawdust and hay. "He had me and some friends try the upgrade, but he wasn't the only one working on it. He's just glad it's complete."
"Wait, you mean it's out now? I've been waiting for years to have a really good meal. Do you mind if I run off and get it?"
"Sure, but you'll probably have to do a dungeon crawl or something to get it."
Mango's ears drooped. "Oh. Might take a while then, and you need your quest info, so I'll wait. It should be enough for you to know I'm a former actress who came here in '38, and I bought up this lot so I could meet lots of new ponies."
Alma said, "Do you do much cooking?"
"Nah, I buy from the chefs downhill. Not much point, so far."
Alma knew. Even the mints that constantly appeared on her hotel pillow had improved since the upgrade. "I'll let you get going." Alma started to turn away, bumping her tail into the door.
"Thanks. Stop by later and I'll cook something! Oh, and try Onyx's bakery to meet a unicorn, and the Zen Farm if you want to befriend a strange earthbound pony."
Alma thanked Mango and trotted out, then glanced back. Mango whooshed through the air just over Alma's ears and soared toward the world portal, in search of the taste upgrade. Alma smiled and shut the door behind her. It'd only been around a subjective month for Alma and she'd already gotten tired of the food, so someone who'd lived in Talespace for years must be eager for the improvement.
She kept going downhill toward the town and closer to the castle, looking for other ponies. The colorful population was mostly concentrated below. When a strong-looking stallion went by hauling a wagon full of logs, Alma turned and followed his slow pace uphill. "Excuse me? You're one of the 'earthbound' ones, right?" No wings, horns or other fancy parts.
"Yup," drawled the stallion, and kept walking.
Alma had heard that voice long ago; it came from the cartoons that inspired this world. "I'm looking to meet other ponies. Got a minute?"
"Nope."
Alma left him alone and kept going. A trio of brightly-colored unicorns trotted by, chattering, and ignored Alma. A pegasus soared overhead, seeming not to hear her either.
"NPCs," she said aloud. "This world's full of fake background characters." The Hooflands were a dollhouse where only a few real people played. Why else had Mango named specific ponies to befriend?
Alma shook her head and felt her mane tickle her neck. No angst this weekend. She kept walking.
"Are you all right, ma'am?" said a voice from above. The pegasus hovering there with slow wingbeats had sky-blue eyes and a similar mane and tail on a grey coat.
"Are you real?" Alma waved one hoof around at the seemingly bustling town. "There're all these..."
"Backgrounders," he said, with a note of disdain. "The population is a mix. Some ponies here are a Cluster Intelligence or CI, with one real mind controlling multiple bodies. So, ma'am, don't presume everypony is fake."
"Reminds me of 'P-zombies'. Creatures with outward signs of being human, but nothing inside." An old philosophy argument some people still used against brain uploading. Sure, Alma could jump up and down insisting that she had real feelings and thoughts, but the skeptics insisted that it meant nothing.
"You know the term?" The pegasus looked impressed. He landed and held out his right forehoof. "I'm Sterling, a native."
She wasn't sure how to shake hooves, so she gently bumped his with hers. "Alma. Recent uploader. I've got nothing against AIs with a brain, so no offense. If anything, it's nice to know that this world doesn't revolve around me."
"Good! Looking for friends and your destiny, right? You can list me. I'm what passes for a banker."
Alma tilted her head. "You do currency exchange with Earth?"
"Sometimes. Also loans and trades between Talespace currencies. We have a bank or stagecoach robbery every month or so too; that's fun."
She grinned. Being shot by bandits just meant he'd have a quest to recover the loot. "There must be complicated tax rules for handling Earthside players' money. I used to buy a few things in Talespace with real money, but never really thought about the implications of it being more than an online game." She was more troubled by the thought that since she was officially dead, "her" Earth money was really held by Ludo.
Sterling sheepishly scratched one ear with a wing. "I leave the details to others. I'm a generalist. Also, I'm technically three years old."
Alma felt a bit weirded out. "I guess you're mature. We're just not used to the idea of minds springing forth fully-formed, outside of myths."
"Myths?"
"Yes, like Athena or Aphrodite or the Titans."
"I should look into those. I'm afraid I'm still quite ignorant of Earth even after meeting so many ponies. I don't get out much, as you can imagine."
"It's all right. We're all learning."
Sterling nodded. "Just so. If you'd like to visit sometime and speak more about the old world..." He chuckled. "I'm around."
"Thanks." Alma took her leave and wandered the streets, heading in the castle's general direction. This district seemed friendlier, or just more populated with real minds. She got smiles and waves from strangers. The castle's dark walls stood out in the distance, near a waterfall.
A heavenly scent of chocolate-chip cookies distracted her from trying to chat up anyone else. She trotted into a large cottage with a chef hat for a roof. Inside, a black unicorn behind the counter was using his glowing horn to levitate trays out of the oven. "Just in time!" he said.
Alma breathed deeply through big equine nostrils. "You must be excited about the taste upgrade."
The unicorn's ears drooped. He pointed to a sign on the wall:
"Onyx Bakery FAQ: Baker is probably not emigrating to Hooflands for decades if ever. Baker has a good career and does not need sympathy. Baker would much rather discuss Hooflands. Thanks!"
Alma said, "Sorry. Are you Onyx? Double Mango mentioned a baker."
"That's me."
"I haven't got money on me right now." Alma patted her bare flanks. "Do you charge?"
"Of course." Onyx's expression brightened and he floated a cookie over to her with a pale glow around it, matching his horn's. "This one's free."
Alma sat and took it carefully between her forehooves, sniffed, and devoured it. "You sure got the taste right. Thanks!"
"Newcomer, huh? You haven't got saddlebags yet, and you're still a generic character. Sorry if I make a bad first impression. I spend most of my time in Talespace hanging around with other players like me. I have a good regular crowd." He glanced toward a cluster of empty tables across the room. "At night."
Alma had noticed a few shared shops. "The city's mostly nocturnal, then?" She recalled how the old cartoons had a sun and moon theme, though usually not separated into nations.
"Yes, by the queen's decree." He sighed. "All hail Nightmare Moon."
"So is the other ruler... Celestia, wasn't she called?"
"Yes, yes. If you're doing the 'destiny' thing, you'll have to wait until nightfall to enter the castle. If you want a more conventional area, try the eastern Hooflands."
"Eh. I did most of my Earthside gaming in Talespace's Midgard district, so I've already done generic fantasy."
Onyx said, "I mean, show-canon. That area is run by the new Orthodoxy of Faust."
Alma decided she preferred not to stick to religious fundamentalist pony lore. "What is there to do around here until dark?"
Onyx said, "Best to head out of town and do some adventuring. Not while you're naked and unarmed and without a species, though."
Alma frowned. "I'm not an 'earthbound' pony?"
"You're nothing in particular yet."
Alma looked back at herself and saw no particular muscle definition, so Onyx's claim made sense. The ponies she'd met varied surprisingly in build and height, not just color. "In that case I should leave to fetch my money."
The baker said, "Fair enough. See you around."
Alma headed back toward the portal to Ivory Tower, but a burly green horse-guy galloped up after her, calling out, "Hold on, miss! Leaving so soon?"
She looked him over, skeptically. "I'm just going back for my stuff. I'm not sure how you carry things across."
"That's just it. Most things don't cross over unless they're in a world-appropriate container. So you need saddlebags, like these." He craned his neck around to reach for the leather bags slung across his back, and improbably pulled out an equal-sized set that he tossed toward her. "You can borrow these."
"You happened to have a spare set?" Alma said.
"I'm well-prepared!" said the stallion, beaming. "And if you'd like to borrow some money --"
"That's all right." Alma fumbled with the saddlebags and yelped as they flicked themselves over her back and fastened under her with a buckle. "What was that?"
"Oh, they do that automatically. Reach for the buckle to remove 'em."
Alma did, to prove she wasn't wearing cursed horse stuff. She slipped the saddlebags back on and wriggled to get them settled comfortably, though supporting weight "forward" on her back felt strange. "Thanks. Can I carry money from Ivory Tower in these?"
"Sure."
"And then I'll need to find the banker again, then an equipment shop." She only had the four-day weekend before her next class, and less subjective time than that, and there was planning to do. Wouldn't be enough time for a thorough immersion in Hoofland yet, so she'd just do the intro quest for now.
The stallion said, "He's easy to find. See you around, I guess?"
There was a blush on his muzzle. Why do I attract horse-people? thought Alma. "Yeah. I'll be back."
#
She landed on all fours in the Ivory Tower area, naked and squirrelly. Her clothes, backpack and hip pack had been neatly stacked in a corner, and the saddlebags were fastened ridiculously around her waist.
Alma stood up, wobbled to figure out her balance again, then removed the bags and dressed. The portal stood ready to take her back, but she decided to wait until nightfall. The Hooflands' friendship theme struck her as desperate, meant to forge a community out of people who would rather have a crowd of NPCs around. Alma wasn't sure telekinetic unicorns and flying pegasi and whatnot could have the same bond as some of Talespace's other communities, especially since there seemed to be at least two opposing camps already arguing over cartoon canon.
Also, Hoofland was trying to bridge the gap between Earth and Talespace, by having Earthside players participate alongside uploaders and natives. The rest of Talespace had that same awkwardness, like people popping in and out of local reality, but they didn't try to maintain a strong roleplaying culture. Did the ponies have some social bond she hadn't seen yet?
Alma headed for the Thousand Ales pub to work on a lesson plan for Monday, and to tease Kai about having met a generous stallion.
#
As she guessed, the Hooflands worked on the same time rate as Ivory Tower, around three or four Earthside hours to one local. Alma waited until what should be evening (not that Ivory Tower's stone sky gave much indication) before heading back to four hooves. She'd timed it well: night fell just as she started down the hillside path. The sun had been low on the horizon, but now it sank suddenly and the moon sprang up in a burst of silver light. The suddenly dim sky shimmered with unfamiliar stars. A flat world, thought Alma, as she trotted into town. Won't be many astrophysicists trained here.
F
She reached the bakery again, trotted a little farther, and truly saw the castle for the first time. The walls of obsidian and blue marble shined with moonlight, and the waterfall she'd spotted was one of several that flowed out of the castle towers and streamed down into a moat of lotus-blooms and herons.
The words You have discovered Noctis Castle flowed into her vision, and an orchestral swell dueled with the murmur of the waterfalls. Alma smiled; the music was a subtle reference to Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, the standard spooky castle song.
Her hooves thunked on a wooden drawbridge. Guards with spiked horseshoes or unicorn-levitated spears watched her enter a courtyard of obsidian and moonstone. Alma, inspired, began composing a geology lecture weaving together volcanoes, caravans and gem-cutters. But would her slow-witted "Basic" students understand any of it? Would long-time Hooflanders get the appeal of crystal structures as macro-scale expressions of molecular bonds, a window into the hidden nano-scale world that had helped unveil DNA and nanotubes? They probably dug up huge gems already cut and polished, because that's how mining worked in fiction. Pearls before ponies.
Alma stopped walking and slapped her muzzle with one hoof. Ow. Quit being an elitist jerk. Making people see what you see is your job.
She trotted into a hall that ended in a vast silver door, and she banged into the last pony standing in line. Alma staggered back, making a face. "Sorry!"
The stocky yellow mare ahead turned, looking more curious than annoyed. "Careful. New to hooves?"
Alma nodded, feeling her head bob on her long neck. "There's a line to meet the queen?"
"There's only one of her. All hail Nightmare Moon!"
"All hail Nightmare Moon!" echoed down the line.
"So we're using all this technology --"
"Magic," the mare said.
"To simulate bureaucracy," Alma said.
"Oh, not at all! Our queen cares deeply for every one of her subjects. After she raised the moon each evening she makes time to listen to our problems." She beamed. "I'm Golden Scale, by the way."
"What kind of problems?"
The great door opened, the line lurched forward, and a unicorn trotted out with a huge smile. Mist obscured the room beyond.
Golden Scale said, "Legal disputes, weddings, dragon attacks, foals, and of course what you're here for. The Rite of Destiny! Are you nervous? Have you decided what to be?"
Alma was a little taken aback by the mare's beatific smile. "I was thinking pegasus. Will I be able to fly right away?"
"A little. All hail Nightmare Moon!" She joined in as some other conversation in line mentioned the queen. "You also have my tribe as an option, since we're friends."
"We are?"
Scale nodded. "Sure! It's easy to make friends here. A fact for when you're quizzed: I might not look it, but I'm the top-scoring spear carrier against dragons attacking Noctis. Not even he can say that!" She pointed at one of the door guards, who grunted.
"You're a battle sidekick?"
"I do a lot of things. But yes, I help more powerful heroes protect the town. It's fun! If you want to learn about flying combat, look up my brother Meteor."
They chatted for a few minutes about teaching and gems and dragons, until it was Scale's turn for an audience. She hesitated in the doorway. "Hmm... I think I'll skip this session after all. Good seeing you, miss! I'll be around." She cantered away, leaving the guards tapping their hooves impatiently and glaring at Alma. She hurried forward through the mist.
The room of Queen Nightmare Moon (all hail) swirled with the same fog. It pooled and splashed with Alma's hoofsteps on the blue carpet leading across the chamber and up a few stairs. Torches along the walls kept the mist at bay around the tall silver throne, where a round cushion held a black mare twice her size, with a shimmering mane like a window into the night sky. Slitted eyes like Double Mango's peered at her, and the queen had both wings and a horn.
"Well met," said the queen.
Alma stood on the royal carpet, dwarfed by the throne room and the virtual nation it represented. Though her knees twitched, she stayed upright. Texans... No, free people don't bow. She said, "Hello. My name is Alma."
Nightmare Moon tilted her head and smiled. "That's it? I don't mind, but I do usually hear more from new-foals. Even those unattuned to the ways of the Hooflands, who'd rather 'get on with it'."
Unattuned...? Oh. Non-roleplayers. "Are you Ludo?"
"Ha! I believe that puts me in the lead as to whether I or my 'dear sister' is asked that more. No, newcomer, I am but a Noble, a former human blessed with the magic of fate. What shall yours be? Tell me of the ponies you've met."
Alma spoke of Golden Scale, Onyx, Sterling, and Double Mango.
The queen said, "Earthbound, unicorn, pegasus, noctral. You have four choices of tribe, then."
Scale had made sure that Alma had "earthbound" as a racial option, but hadn't asked whether Alma knew any pegasi. Alma began to suspect why. She asked, "Have I been talking to one pony hive-mind this entire time?"
The queen hopped down from her throne and laughed. "Two of those you met are part of Noctis' town spirit." Her mane and tail streamed in a phantom wind.
"Golden Scale and Sterling. So they're that 'Collective Intelligence', a genius loci?"
"Indeed! Noctis has taken an interest in you. They do get the occasional crush."
Alma sputtered. "Your whole town is attracted to me?"
"Just a hundred or so assorted ponies."
"Oh dear."
"Ponies. For deer you'll need to travel to the Hart Forest to the north."
"That's. Uh." Alma shook her head. "Your majesty, could I be a pegasus? I'd love to try flying."
"Of course. Colors?"
Alma liked having a mane after having been in her squirrel-body with no human-style hair. "Blond mane and tail, blue... no, gold eyes, and stick with a greyish coat."
The queen said, "That combination might make you look rather... derpy."
Alma reeled, mentally. "You just referenced the old cartoons that --"
"The ancient tales that inspired the Hooflands' creation. Yes. I believe I qualify as a fan."
"But you look like a villain."
The queen raised one hoof and examined the elaborate gem-studded horseshoe on it. "Becoming this persona was a complex decision for me. I and my solar counterpart maintain an interesting balance for this world. Now, hold still."
A beam of darkness shot down onto Alma and transformed her. As the warm glow faded, she felt new muscles spreading along her back, and looked sidelong at her new wings. "Ah!" The feathers were grey with a hint of blue, stretching amazingly far to either side. She wasn't quite sure how to reel her wings back in, and only gradually figured out how to flex them.
The queen hovered now, enveloped in a silver aura of moonlight. Her wings shed fading feathers with each beat. She studied Alma for a while before speaking. "There are several possible paths ahead for you, Ratatosk. I wonder which one you'll take."