Part 11
Discordverse
Outsmarted by a Foal. How embarrassing
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Once again as we come out of the portal, Twilight fires a beam of magic at Starlight. But, it misses, hitting Rainbow Dash as she’s talking to the colts, entrapping her in a block of crystal.
I grind my teeth as Starlight gives a mocking clap and smile.
I lunge forward to attack her and then free Rainbow so that maybe the Rainboom can still happen, but I hear and feel the Time Portal opening up behind us and get pulled back in.
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When we fall out of the portal this time, our landing is oddly soft... and squeaks?
We each push ourselves out of the pile of what I now see are... rubber chickens (?) and look around.
At once I can see Equestria looks horrible. It’s all crazy with nothing making sense. I can only remember one other time it was like this, my memories from when Mama and Auntie Tia’s battles against Discord over a thousand years ago.
Suddenly, something runs past us and I turn to see what it is... before I feel my blood boil.
It’s Mama and Auntie Tia and their manes and tails are poofed out like afros and they’re wearing red rubber clown noses. Chasing after them, riding a unicycle and wearing a crown and cape, holding a golden sceptre with his head on it is Discord.
Floating a little nearby is an upside down house that might be his (?), with a pink filly whose colours look very similar to Diamond Tiara is standing there, a simple happy smile on her face.
He dares... he dares to do something so humiliating to my family?!
Before Twilight can do anything I burst from the pile of rubber chickens and soaring at the mismatched creature.
Discord turns at the last second before my hoof, surrounded by my magical aura, collides with his face.
He goes flying off into the distance, making the shouting sound Goofy is known for in Disney cartoon, before a tiny lit sparkles like a star on the horizon.
Suddenly I find myself caught with a tail wrapped around me and Discord looking at me with curiosity. “Hmm? Well, this is unexpected. A time traveling pony? And where did you come from, little one?”
I’m not going to bother questioning how he figured out I traveled through time. I’ve other matters.
“Let the princesses go and stop all this Chaos, now, Discord!”
He looks blankly at me for a moment, before he bursts into laughter, rolling on the checked ground.
“Oh, you are hysterical!” he laughs, before calming down and giving me a sly smile. “Now, why would I do that?”
I glare at him. “Because, if you win a little game, I’ll be your faithful servant for all eternity.”
“No, little foal!” Celestia cries from where she and her sister have stopped running and are looking my way with concern.
“Do not throw your life away!” Mama cries, looking very scared. “He is too powerful!”
“Oh, quiet, you two,” Discord says, clicking his fingers, causing the two mares to now be balancing on a giant beach ball each and juggling vases with poison joke in them. “This deal is between myself and the filly here.”
“So, we got a deal then?” I ask, glaring at him. “If I win you stop all this craziness, put everything back the way it was before, exactly as it was and only use your magic to protect Equestria from threats to it, and never cause anything but small annoyances for any being ever again.”
He blinks. “You’re not just going to insist I stop altogether?”
“You really think you would?” I deadpan.
He shrugs. “Point taken. Now, since you challenged me, I believe I should get to chose the game. Doesn’t that seem fair?”
I nod. “On your word, Discord. Chaos Vow.”
His eyes widen. “How do you know about...? You know, what? Never mind. I can make you tell me when I win, not to mention learn just how you traveled through time. Oh, the Chaos I could create with a spell like that. Fine, by the laws of Chaos, I vow to uphold my side of the deal if I lose.” He smirks. “Though that is a big if.”
I just inwardly smirk. I know Discord pretty well thanks to all the time I’ve spent with him. Even if this is a different Discord, one who doesn’t know the importance of friendship, he’s still the same Discord.
And I’ve learned a few tricks about how to manipulate him, which has only been helped thanks to now being whole.
Even he can’t break a Chaos Vow. They’re tied into his very core. If he were to even try to break it, his magic would turn against him and never work for him when he wanted it to, stopping chaos and instead causing harmony.
All I have to do, is win.
“Ah-ha! A question!” he sneers. There’s a flash and I’m suddenly sitting behind a counter like in the game show Sale of the Century, whist Discord is sitting at a podium with flash cards in his hands. “Answer this simple, single question correctly, I you win the game.”
I nod, though I’m suddenly a little nervous, going over every memory I have, which now stretches far into the past. I sure hope whatever question he asks will have something to do with one of my long past memories.
He gives a fake-innocent smile. “On to the question then. How did I come to be me?” he then leans back in a hammock, grinning. “Only Sunpie and Moonpie know the answer to this question. Even if you had a century to think about it, you’d never guess—”
“Starswirl the Beared's incomplete Alicorn Spell.”
He freezes (literally) for a moment, before thawing out and staring at me blankly. “Wh... wha?”
“Originally you were a unicorn. However, after attempting to cast a spell Starswirl the Bearded created to make more Alicorns, you turned into the form you presently have and were shunned by society, though nopony ever learned you used Starswirl's spell nor know about it til this day aside from the princesses of the sun and moon, so Starswirl the Bearded is still revered by all, since none of them know he unintentionally created a being of pure Chaos,” I state, like reading of a flash card.
“I... but how did...? When could you have...?” he stutters, looking completely flabbergasted.
I smile innocently. “I win.”
At once there’s an explosion of white light. When it fades, everything looks normal again and we’re all standing in a field of flowers.
Discord’s lying slumped on the ground in front of me, looking annoyed and depressed. “How... how did you know? Nopony should know.”
I roll my eyes. “Discord, I’m a time traveler and you knew that right from the beginning. Didn’t you think once that I might have knowledge of stuff other ponies don’t? Besides,” I look to Mama and wink, “my Mama kinda shared it with me.”
“Huh?” the three of them say, looking confused.
“Well, that’s that,” I walk over to Twilight and Spike, both of whom have their mouths hanging open. “Twilight, let’s go back now.”
“Um... sure,” she says uncertainly, levitating the scroll out to cast the spell again (I give Discord a quick glare to remind him he’s no allowed to do anything to us either and he wilts under my gaze). “Um... what was the answer to his question? I didn’t quite hear it from over here.”
I shake my head. “Some things are better you not know Twilight. If you’re meant to know, you’ll learn so in the future.”
She frowns, pouting, before casting the spell.
“Don’t worry,” I call out to the other Alicorns as we’re pulled into the portal. “He literally can’t cause any big problems anymore. You’re welcome!”