Wily's Wittle Wub

by Tatsurou


VSW-004: Vinyl's Moving Castle

Dr. Light sat back in his chair as he went over the information regarding the new Robot Masters running amok. Each had their own dangers and terrors, but some were greater threats than others. When Mega Man contacted him, Dr. Light wanted to be sure he could direct him to negate the greatest threats possible in order.

As he thought that, the teleporter beeped to indicate an incoming signal, and Mega Man appeared. "Hey, Dad..." he began nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"Remembered you could teleport?" Tom joked.

"Oh, I knew I could teleport," Mega Man countered. "The situation just seemed to call for dramatically racing out to face the first Robot Master."

Tom couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I admit it was very dramatic...but why are you back, then?"

Mega Man flushed in embarrassment. "I was halfway to Moscow before I realized I didn't know where any of the new Robot Masters are."

"Moscow?" Tom asked, shocked. "How were you crossing the ocean?"

"The motorcycle form Dr. Cossack installed in Rush has an aquatic function, so I can cross rivers, lakes, and oceans on him," Mega Man explained. "So...where are the Robot Masters?"

Chuckling, Dr. Light called up what he'd gathered so far. "Well, they are in various locations scattered across the globe...but I think this one is of greatest concern right now." He called up the location on the map.

"That's nowhere near where the giant one is rampaging after busting up the jail," Mega Man pointed out.

"No, it's not," Dr. Light replied. "The military has Giganto well pinned down, but they can't stop this one."

"Why? It looks like he's just holed up in a castle somewhere."

Dr. Light sighed. "Check the elevation coordinates."

Mega Man stared at the screen. "...okay, so it's a really tall castle. I still don't see-" Mega Man's voice cut off as a cloud passed through on the image of the castle...under the castle.

"Mobile weapons platforms are always top priority," Dr. Light explained. "Even when they look very Gothic."

"Agreed," Mega Man confirmed, heading for the teleporter. "I'm ready to go!"


Mega Man found himself warped into the courtyard of the massive castle, staring up at the looming buttresses and arching windows as lightning flashed from nowhere. "This seems...oddly familiar," he muttered to himself, walking in through the open front gate.

The halls were well lit and furnished, with plush chairs, wide couches, red carpets, and glimmering wall sconces...half of which were actually disguised robots trying to kill him. The robo-zombies, robotic wolves, robo-bats, and robotic gargoyles didn't help much. "All I'm missing is a whip," Mega Man growled as he decided to test out the Skull Blast. Charging his buster to max, he aimed at a line of robots and fired.

After he extricated himself from the wall he found himself embedded in, he stared at the heaps of molten slag that had been the robots in that narrow line he'd fired in. "...wow..." was all he could bring himself to say.

Mega Man worked his way through the castle, exploring every path. Several paths were sealed off until certain switches were pressed...and those switches were at the ends of other paths, while some paths looped around and about to connect to other paths. Mega Man found himself wondering if there was any correct path through. After his third time wandering into a massive library where even the books were trying to kill him, he screamed out, "My kingdom for a bloody map!"(1)

"I'll sell you one for screws," a decrepit robot that wasn't trying to kill him piped up from behind a desk.

Gasping in relief, Mega Man plopped down a bundle of screws that he'd salvaged from the robots he'd been destroying onto the desk. "Thank the Light," he exhaled.

"Here you go. No refunds."

Mega Man quickly opened the map. "...hey! This is a map to Tokyo! I wanted a map of the castle!"

"Sorry!" the decrepit robot replied. "All sold out of those. Don't get my next shipment for another few hours."

Screaming in frustration, Mega Man charged out of the library, fully intent on blasting anything he came across to molten slag.


Back in the Wubtress - as Vinyl had dubbed the Fortress after taking it over for her own purposes - Vinyl and Protoman shared a hoof-bump and raucous laughter.

Albert shook his head in wonder. "And I thought I could be cruel to Mega Man when trying to take over the world..."


After tearing through the arena for the third time - and blasting a giant Guardian to smithereens - Mega Man finally found his way to a new area, the Clock Tower. "Well, here's hoping this is the right way," he muttered to himself. He carefully positioned himself for a leap across a wide gap, only to get hit in midair by a floating head bot that swayed through the air in an unpredictable manner. "Fuck you very much, too, Medusa!" Mega Man shouted in frustration as he clung to a platform lower down, before managing to swing himself back up...only to get pushed off as the rotating gear he stood on rolled him into open air.

With a scream of frustration, Mega Man turned the Skull Blast on the tower itself, causing the whole thing to fall to an angle. "I'll climb the damn walls!" he growled, racing up the incline and blasting platforms out of his path.

Finally, he escaped the Clock Tower into the Royal Hall, as it was so declared on the entrance. The chamber was wide, lined with red carpet, and up near the top of the very tall chamber was another door. A sign pointed to the door, reading, "Boss Chamber".

"Alright," Mega Man gasped out in relief. "All I need to do is get up there. Now how do I-"

With a distinctive, memorable sound, a block appeared in the air. Another one appeared somewhat higher, in a different position. When the third block appeared, the first vanished.

"...you gotta be kidding me..." Mega Man groaned. "...please don't let the others be this frustrating." After watching the order in which the blocks appeared and committing it to memory - and watching it a few more times to make sure it wouldn't change on him - Mega Man leapt to the first block that appeared.

At exactly eye level was another sign. "Move fast, and have fun!"

"Huh?" Mega Man inquired. As he spoke, the entire floor beneath him erupted spikes, and began to slowly climb up the chamber towards him.

"Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap!" Mega Man screamed out as he leapt from block to block, racing ahead of the floor to get to the door. Even moving at exactly the rate at which the blocks appeared, he only just barely managed to reach the door ahead of the spiked floor. Slamming the door closed behind him, he took a few deep breaths to relax.

"Well, well, well," a calm voice greeted. "I didn't expect you to get here so soon."

Looking up, Mega Man saw...what in any other situation he'd classify as a 14-year-old stereotypical emo-kid. Here, however, he knew he was up against a robot. "Please tell me you're the boss," he begged as he readied himself for battle.

"Sorry, but your bad guy's in another castle," the bot replied.

Mega Man stared at him. "...you've gotta be shitting me..."

"Yes, I am," the bot replied. "Vinyl's Wub Master 006, Mutilus. I will be your executioner this day." He held up his arms, one straight out like a buster with the hand hanging limp, the other holding a knife.

Mega Man growled as he began charging. "...just die already," he growled out.

"Can do," Mutilus replied as he used the knife to slice his hand off at the wrist.

Mega Man staggered backwards in stunned disgust. "W-why would you-" He was forced to slide out of the way as a sphere of red was launched from the stump. Where it splattered against the wall, it hissed and steam as the stones were eaten away. "Acid?"

"Beware my Burning Blood," Mutilus intoned. "For it shall eat you away until you have none of your own." He spun to track Mega Man's movements, firing off more shots.

Mega Man dodged as best he could, but he realized that if he tried to use the Skull Blast, he'd be embedded in the wall, and wide open for an acidic blast if he missed. "Time for a gamble," he murmured as he spun to face the wall.

"You turn your back on me?" Mutilus demanded.

"What is a Mega Man...but a miserable pile of secrets?" Mega Man shouted back as he fired.

Confused by Mega Man's words, Mutilus didn't have the time to dodge or fire before Mega Man slammed into him, crushing him against the wall, his light frame turning against him.

Mega Man took a few relieved breaths as he acquired the 'Burning Blood' Master Weapon. "That was...harder than it should have-"

"Warning!" a loud voice shouted out. "Castle Master has been terminated. Self Destruct Lockdown is in effect. All windows sealed. T-Minus 20 minutes till self destruct. Please report to the entry courtyard for teleport evac. All other areas have been teleport blocked."

"...oh, come on!"



(1) Imagine playing through a Castlevania game without a map function, without graph paper to draw your own map, and without a walkthrough to tell you which way to go...and the castle is 3-d.