//------------------------------// // Chapter 18: Her decision // Story: The Queen and I Book 3: Friends and Family // by SoloBrony //------------------------------// Chrysalis steadied her breathing, biting down on the horror that had been creeping up on her. She turned to leave the office, grasping the letters in her magical aura. “I need time to make sense of this.” Hearing some protestations coming from behind her, Chrysalis glanced back, her emotions only barely in check in her expression. “Please. Leave me.” Chrysalis hurriedly trotted out of the office, trying to maintain a cool demeanor and posture – with limited success. She quickly made her way to the privacy of her own office, slamming the door behind her and settling into a couch, her breathing heavy and heartbeat rapid. Unsure of what to do with herself, or what to make of the situation, she slowly began to reread the letters once more. ~ “This doesn't make any sense! I can't seem to remember, no matter how many times I read them, no matter how much I concentrate!” Chrysalis had spent hours reading through the letters, matching them to her life experience, trying in vain to recall writing them. “The events... what's written down, I remember these things. I remember wanting to be a Thinker. I remember playing music... but I didn't remember that the instruments came from Equestria.” Chrysalis spat the last word, full of venom, and glared up at the instruments in question, now fully repaired and free of any signs of damage or wear. Iqqel had evidently taken it on herself to contact an excellent craftspony who specialized in such things. The thought disgusted Chrysalis. “A pony. Ugh.” Chrysalis immediately jerked back, and then slowly wiped a hoof over her face. “Promised myself I'd stop doing that.” Chrysalis looked back down at the letters, shaking her head. “I remember these things, but... I don't feel them. I don't remember being so... emotional. So excited.” Chrysalis grasped another paper off of her desk, along with a quill, scratching on it. “Dear Princess Celestia...” Chrysalis looked between the two, shaking her head in disbelief at the fact that her writing style had barely changed; the letters were definitely hers. She scoffed, tossing the new paper aside. “What could have possibly-” Chrysalis was cut off by a sharp knocking at her office door. She froze in place, staring at the door. Having asked for privacy, she could hardly imagine that anyone would be foolish enough to disturb her against her wishes. She remained silent, listening. Expecting to hear the sound of hooves beating a hasty retreat, or repeated knocking, Chrysalis instead gave a start of surprise when a purple flash of light signaled Twilight Sparkle's arrival in her study via teleportation. Chrysalis cringed inwardly; she wasn't sure what Twilight wanted, but it was sure to be annoying. Almost enough to distract from the outrage of a pony thinking to come unbidden – dismissed, even! – to the office of the Changeling Queen. “Wh- I said I was not to be disturbed!” Twilight smirked faintly. “I'm not one of your subjects, Chrysalis.” “But you're a guest in my realm!” The two of them stared at each other, as Chrysalis awaited Twilight's reply. Inwardly, she felt a strangely dissonant – given recent events – sense of amusement at the situation, as Twilight had just committed a social faux pas she couldn't recover from. “I'm not here as a guest, either.” Chrysalis' expression went blank as she tried to figure out what Twilight could mean. Twilight, for her part, simply marched over to the couch, sat down, and set a hoof on Chrysalis' withers. “I'm here as a friend, Chrysalis. You've been up here for a few hours, and there's something important I think you should know.” Chrysalis stared at Twilight, tensing at the sensation of contact. Being called a 'friend' by a pony brought a mix of feelings that Chrysalis didn't have time to sort out. “... Fine. What is it?” “You told me you couldn't remember the nightmare you had a few nights ago, right?” Chrysalis nodded slowly, remembering that evening where Twilight had comforted her. She felt a surge of gratitude, immediately overtaken by a wave of shame and nausea at her own weakness. Twilight simply pressed on. “Well, as it turns out, Luna remembers it. She told Celestia about it.” “She spied upon my dreams?!” “I wouldn't call it 'spying'. You were having a nightmare, and she safeguards ponies – and changelings – in Equestria against them. But, the important thing is, she didn't know that it was your nightmare, Chrysalis. In fact, she was actually somewhat confused on that point.” Chrysalis snorted. She could only believe the ludicrous story because it matched with the incompetence she had come to expect from ponies. “She's the princess of the night, the ruler of dreams, and she can't tell whose dreams she's seeing?” “That's just it. She usually can. But in this dream, there was a changeling drone being attacked by... well, by you.” Chrysalis stared up at Twilight, some level of irritation mixing with confusion. “I was attacking someone? That can't possibly be right. I may not remember the dream, but I remember-” “I know. You were attacked, you felt hunted. You told me. Thing is, Luna was positive that the dream belonged to the drone, but she couldn't seem to banish you from it, either. She theorized that you had invaded the dream of some Equestrian changeling, that you had some kind of bond with them, but I felt she had to be wrong. You were definitely, er... attacked. You seemed attacked when you woke up.” Chrysalis passed over what Twilight might have been about to say to focus on the implications of the scenario, instead, though she felt a pang of humiliation that Twilight might have been implying she was terrified or weak. “... So... so what are you saying?” “That I think... well, I've been speaking to Celestia, and she has a theory, and.. Well, it's-” “Get to it!” “Er, right! Well, I think maybe, y'know, since you had just channeled the spirit of the previous Queen, or whatever, earlier that day...” Twilight trailed off, bringing a twitch to Chrysalis' eye. “YES?” “Well, is it possible that her spirit, or memory, or whatever, was... attacking you?” Chrysalis bit back a hasty reply, feeling a powerful compulsion to deny the possibility. “That's... that sounds absurd. Why would...” “Have you ever had that kind of nightmare before? That you couldn't remember, but was really painful like that?” “Yes.” “... Was it after you gave last rites?” “N... It...” Chrysalis eyes widened. She felt so sure that this idea was absurd, and she should just send Twilight out, and forget the whole thing. “It... yes. It was after I gave last rites before, as well. I always have nightmares after. I always chalked it up to magical fatigue.” “Well, doesn't that seem to-” “No! The idea is insane. The old Queen is dead.” “But she almost attacked me in the hospital!” “She what? That's impossible! I may channel her, but I'm still in control!” “I know! She said you stopped her! You don't remember? You apologized to me right afterwards!” Chrysalis started to remember. The memory was foggy, like a puzzle piece she was missing – but all of the other facts lined up around it to form a hole that perfectly resembled what Twilight was saying. She started to feel nauseous. “... I need to... I'm going to look into this.” She started to feel confused. “I'm going to fix this.” “What do you mean?” Chrysalis had a very stupid idea, that didn't make much sense, and probably wouldn't accomplish anything, but would probably bring disgrace to her, and demonstrate what a feeble ruler she was right in front of- “I'm going to the Hall of Queens. Let everyone know. I could be there for quite some time.”