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Discord sighed heavily as he looked at the vapors rising from his tea cup. He noticed how the light hit the surface of the cup and reflected onto the table. Such small details didn't really matter though; all they were to him was a distraction. He took a slow breath and one of his eyes turned to see Fluttershy. She was on the other end of the sofa; also looking at her untouched tea. He could feel the pain seeping from her eyes but only because he felt it as well. She sniffed silently and as she turned to look at him his eye quickly returned to his own tea.
He couldn't see vapors anymore. Time just slipped away from him as he thought. He was starting to wish that he had said nothing. Part of him wanted to turn the clock and take it back. If he never said anything then she might not have said anything either. They would be smiling and sipping tea. They might be talking about something pleasant. The Draconequus paused in his thoughts and sighed. The fact that he had said nothing earlier was part of why they were there in the first place. Discord found himself drawing another slow breath as his claw traced the rim of the cup. Fluttershy paused to see if he was going to say anything and when he didn't she sighed and looked at her cup. She slowly wiped at her eyes and shifted in her seat. Discord glanced at the window for a moment. Maybe they might be talking about something; but it wouldn't have been about them. It hadn't been about them in months. The words exchanged proved that there wasn't much of a 'them' anymore.
"I don't love you anymore."
He sniffed and brought his paw to his face. It hurt to say it. He wished that he didn't say it; but on the other hand he had to say it. He should have said it months ago.
"I know. I don't love you anymore either. It's been a few months since I stopped."
Her words cut him even more than his own did. If he knew she felt that way he would have acted sooner. They could have done something. They could have fought for them. A way might have been found. Something might have been done. He might have done things differently.
He sighed and stopped tracing his claw on the rim of the teacup. Maybe it wouldn't have helped. Maybe they would have just ended up on the couch sooner. The truth was that they just weren't done growing yet. Since his reformation he had changed. Discord grew more as a person. He found reasons to care about others. Cruelty was something he had fallen out of. Fluttershy slowly became more and more confident. She was now fully in charge of her destiny. For a while their roads connected but as they moved along they also moved on. Their hearts just didn't connect anymore.
"Are we still friends?"
His question echoed in his mind with as much fever as everything else that was said. He dreaded asking it but after their mutual confession it had to be said.
"I don't know, Discord.”
The silence that followed lingered for what felt like an eternity. His times trapped in stone felt much better in comparison. In truth he would rather her say he needed to go back. He would rather her be angry with him. Discord slowly wiped his eyes again and wished she would at least raise her voice. If she was angry then at least she would tell him to leave or tell him something wrong that he did. If she got mad she would tell him something that was his fault and he could apologize and fix it.
Discord stared down at his now cold tea. He drew a heavy breath as a realization hit him as hard as their words. There was nothing to fix. There was no problem to solve. There was nothing he did wrong. There was nothing she did wrong. They had simply outgrown each other. Their kisses didn’t mean anything anymore. Her presence didn’t outshine the sun anymore. Her voice didn’t lend him confidence to be a better Draconequus anymore. Not having her in the same room didn’t leave him feeling as alone. Her extended visits with her friends didn’t make him wish he was there. He wondered what little things she gradually stopped noticing. He wondered what simple details just brushed by. Discord wondered how long it was since she truly hugged him.
He took another breath. He wanted to turn the clock back. He wanted to go back to when the hours spent underneath her quilt and in her legs were the highlight of his day. He wanted to go back to how warm it felt to have her nuzzling his chest. All Discord wanted was to hold her in his arms; but now he couldn’t bring himself to even scoot closer. He traced his claw along the edge of his cup again and took a deep breath before saying something for the first time in what felt an eternity.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Without looking at him she gave her answer.
“Yes, Discord. I want you to leave my house. In a few days maybe…maybe we’ll talk then but right now…”
Discord rose to his feet without a word. He walked to the door without turning back. His claw gripped the handle and he slowly turned it. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to go back to the couch. He wanted to scoop her in his arms and hold her until the sun went down.
At the same time; he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to feel her mane on his face. He didn’t want to look into her eyes. Discord didn’t want to stay in the house any longer.
He wanted her friendship but not her love; which was in a way ok since she wasn’t offering it anymore. Discord exited her house without a word. He stepped out into the world beyond. He closed his hands and teleported to the home he abandoned deep in the void between realities.