"Damn it's colder than a witch's tit out," Matt said, shivering like hell as he shoved his hands deeper into his coat pockets. Despite his thick winter coat and brisk walking speed, he was still chilled to the bone as he and Jamie made their way to school.
"I'm not gonna ask how you know what temp Granny D's nipples are," Jamie grinned. Between his leggings and undershirt, a thick hoodie was warm enough for him. "But seriously, what is with you and the cold?"
"You seem to forget that I'm originally from Texas man! We don't get snow down there! Only ice and heat! I can handle a hundred degrees like Canadians can handle the cold but below freezing is a negative ghost rider!" He said simply.
"I'm fine in both heat and cold," Jamie bragged with a smug grin. "And I still complain about the heat less than you do.
"Well you got the tropics in the blood Mr. birthday boy," Matt couldn't help but smirk as he quickly gave Jemaul a playful punch in the arm.
"Jeeze, Matt, you don't need to make a big deal about it. I'm a year older. Wee," Jamie rolled his eyes, but he still had a grin on his face.
"You're eighteen now man; the big one eight! Hell if I could convince my brother, I could have him take the two of us to a club," Matt said with a cheeky grin. "Remember the party my bros threw for me for mine back in September!" He laughed, "he's still finding stuff all over his yard!"
"Dude, that is not an endorsement of any sort," Jamie sighed, massaging his nose bridge. "And we found you in a tree. Half naked. And the wrong half was naked."
"And from what I heard it was one hell of a party," he laughed, ignoring Jemaul's statement on purpose, "or I could always just see with mom if we can bring out the inner Irishman in you."
"I don't have an inner Irishman," Jamie snorted. "And what's that supposed to mean anything? Luck of the Irish or Bar Regular?"
"It's means let you get drunk but not too drunk," he said flatly, "and besides, mom's got some Captain Morgan she bought after she first saw me turn."
Jamie winced inwardly at the memory. That one had totally been his fault. Well, most all of Matt's transformations were his fault, but that one had been a particularly poignant case. "You know I avoid coffee, much less alcohol."
"But come on! It's your birthday man! You're only eighteen once!"
"If you wanna be technical… I'm eighteen in," Jamie looked at his watch and did some calculations, "ten hours, twenty seven minutes and about… fifteen seconds."
Matt just rolled his eyes, "you nerd."
"Mostly when it annoys you," Jamie grinned broadly. "You know, you could let me test out the 'endure elements' spell on you again. I promise it won't set your shirt on fire this time." That had been a… memorable day for all involved. Who knew that the strip spell he came up with as a joke would come in useful?
He shook his head, "no way on God's currently frozen over earth am I letting you do that to me again! I liked that shirt damn it!"
"Well… to be fair… I did tell you not to wear clothes you really like when we are practicing," Jamie said sheepishly.
"But I wasn't expecting flipping spontaneous combustion!"
"The revised version doesn't use heat directly anymore. Just air, and principles of insulation and convection," Jamie said. He'd been surprised how much application general science had in magic.
"You still set me on fire," he said slowly, glaring at Jemaul.
"Your shirt," Jamie muttered.
"Fi- You know what? Let's can it till we get to school okay?" Matt asked, "too cold to think and too annoyed to care." Regardless, their friendly bickering continued all the way to school where they were mostly lost in the flow of students making their way to classes. Mostly. There was always someone who found them without fail.
"Do you two ever leave each other's side?" Justin sneered, he and two of his lap boys lurking near homeroom. It had been two months, and Justin still found cause and reason to harass them. Ever since the part and their professed ignorance of anything that might have contributed to the wild stories, he had it in for them. He still swore they knew something about it, even though everyone else was half convinced it was drunken delusions.
Matt just let out a dry laugh, "well excuse me for having an actual friend unlike your little entourage who'd gladly suck you off if you asked them to."
"Better than licking the bottom of the barrel," Justin snorted. His minions jeered on cue. "Not that either of you could do better."
"Oh and how's everyone calling you a 'loony' been? Seen any more daemon horses lately?" Matt asked sarcastically.
"Died off about as quick and people calling you two 'legends'," Steven retorted.
"Shame. Justin's face was fun when they did," Jamie sighed. "All scrunched up like he ate a sour skittle."
"Well, are you just going to give us the same usual crap or are you going to do something different? Maybe throw in a nice bundle of sticks as well?" Matt asked flatly as he glared at Justin.
"As if I'd risk suspension because a pair of faggots grew a pair," Justin waved his hand at them.
"Oh I have more of a pair than you do dickwaffle," Matt laughed a little, before grinning cheekily, "or is that why you're dating Molly? To make up to your lack of skill?"
"Molly might be a slut, but I've been the only guy to please her," Justin smirked. "She didn't even bother trying you out. Not that you'd know what a pussy looks like."
"Well I'd rather not use the village bicycle."
"City mercedes," Justin didn't even look concerned. Molly's status as 'she who's been with three quarters of the senior class' was pretty much common knowledge in the student body. "Luxuries you still don't get."
"Keep telling yourself that bro," Matt scoffed, "but I'll say I told ya so when your dick falls off."
"Coming from the dude who gets horny with trees when he's wasted," Stephen sneered.
This earned him a death glare from Matt, "well you twits weren't even invited! Y'all just showed up!"
"Well, this has been productive. Justin continues to show not even a heavy wallet and education can treat ignorance, and Matt continues to be sandpaper," Jamie applauded lightly. "Can we get to class already? Maybe pick up at lunch?"
"No no no," Justin's gaze turned to Jamie, "we haven't even started with you Supernerd."
Jamie groaned, a bit annoyed that he drew attention to himself. "You know, I've never quite gotten it, where's the line between nerd and geek again?"
"Oh? Where to begin: buying those dungeon and dragons books that cost like seventy bucks a pop, knowing shit that your friend calls you a nerd for, wearing that costume for Halloween two years back; you were the only one to know what that was from anyway," Justin replied with a sneer, counting off on his fingers. "Do I need to go on?"
"So… what makes someone a geek?" Jamie asked after nodding.
"Yeah, that makes you a damn geek," Steven chimed in.
"So… Geek and or nerd, entitled rich ass, something," Jamie pointed to himself, Justin and Matt in turn, but hesitated when it came to Steven and Charles. "Um… I guess faceless, directionless minions one and two?"
Both Steven and Charles growled at that and glared at Jemaul but soon fell silent as Justin raised a hand. "Now now, You can't help the fact that you're poor."
"Middle class," Jamie corrected. "And you can't help the fact that, while lacking any actual biological impairments, your social skills and general intellect are something of an insult to those around you. Can we go now?"
Justin growled in annoyance, "well fuck you too Mr. Self-entitled dickwaffle!"
"HEY! That's my insult!"
"Can it dipshit," Steven said, shoving Matt.
"Now, now, there is no need for violence," Jamie said, trying to get between Steven and Matt. "Just because my dick is likely larger than all of yours doesn't mean you should be jealous and take it out on Matt."
Justin growled again; but instead of a snide remark, he balled up his fist, before reeling back and punching Jemaul in the cheek with all the force he could muster:
Jamie reeled, almost falling over before Matt caught him, but since Matt was already somewhat unstable, they both fell. His hand quickly reached to his injured jaw. He felt blood.
"You fucking cun- What the hell was that for?!" Matt growled as he quickly got to his feet, fists clenched.
"He fucking insulted me that's why!"
"You've been doing that to us for the last five minutes you shitface!" Matt snarled before punching Justin in the stomach.
Steven was the first to react. He punched Matt in the face; this caused his glasses to come off his face just in time for him to hit him once again in the stomach. As Matt staggered back, Charles grabbed him by the shirt collar before throwing him to the ground.
Jamie contributed a timely kick to Charles' gonads. Heel first, with a lovely upward angle to his approach, hissing as he did. The crowd that had been gathering got roiled up, though none came in to try and break them apart. Jamie clamoured to his feet, blood dripping from a cut lip and his nose, and tackled Justin, slamming him into the lockers and biting his biceps.
"What's going on here!?"
Charles, still clutching his family jewels, froze like a deer in headlights before turning and bolting, shoving his way through the crowd with Steven in close pursuit. Matt got up with a groan and looked towards the teacher who had just shown up, "well crap."
----------
"So much of my life… wasted… never to be regained," Jamie groaned. "And my spotless academic record, marred by a… a… a feeble minded prokaryote!"
"One, we only had to stay there for like four hours," Matt said annoyed, "two, he struck first so it was self defense. And three, using words like that got you into this mess in the first place."
"It's a simple single celled organism," Jamie explained absently. "I should have said 'cro magnon', but I choked for a moment."
"I know what it is but you can't expect everyone to have paid attention in biology."
"Like I said, I choked." Jamie buried his face in his hands. "It's on my permanent record. I'm gonna get grounded. Again I've gotten grounded way too many times this semester."
"Calm down man," Matt sighed, "it's not the end of the world." He paused for a second, "you're still spending the night at my house right?"
"Dad's still freaking over the magic thing, my allowance got cut back so far it's not even funny, I can't even get a part time job outside of a day at the grocery store with the amount of time Granny D demands for her lessons," Jamie went on, still in the woes of his situation. He let out an exasperated breath of air. "And yes. They at least accepted the 'didn't strike first' part, so they're still allowing that. Grounding will come after."
"Well, I know just the men to cheer you up," Matt grinned.
Jamie looked at Matt, confusion on his face. "That's… a euphemism for alcohol, isn't it?"
He simply nodded. "Come on, it's your birthday we still gotta celebrate!"
Jamie rolled his eyes but didn't reject the idea. "Whatever. The only reason I'm agreeing is because today sucks, and it's the weekend, so we don't get into more trouble for showing up wasted."
Matt grinned like an idiot, slapping Jamie on the shoulder, "Atta boy! Besides, I'm kinda curious about how you are when drunk?"
"How should I know?" Jamie snorted. "Unlike some people, I've never drank before. Drunk. Drunk before?"
Matt let out a mock gasp, "well it's time you become friends with the bottle. It'll be a learning experience for the both of us! You get to drink and I get to see how you act under the influence!"
"Yeah, I can tell this is gonna be a bad idea already," Jamie muttered under his breath.
"That's what booze is for in the first place! To let the stupid out and to forget the worries of the day!"
"Knew I should have biked to school today..."
"I shill don't get what the big deal with drinking is," Jamie slurred slightly, examining the beverage in his cup under the light. He looked over at Matt from the side of the couch he claimed. "What did you say this was again?"
"Yours? Is some rum and nuk- I mean coke man," Matt couldn't help but let out a little giggle, "man, you hasn't even finished one glass and you're slurring. You're suck a light weight!"
"Weird colour for coke," Jamie said, swishing it a little. "I thought coke was black. Or white. Not… this weird… bronze? Is it spartan coke? And I'm not slurring! I'm perfectly elegant! Eh, ele- eloquent!"
"Spartan coke! Artyom! Ve must get to Polis Station!" He suddenly burst out laughing to himself for a few seconds before downing the rest of his glass in a single gulp. "That's ze booze silly," Matt said after coughing for a second, "besides cola is brown anyways."
"No, it's red!" Jamie finished his drink before he got up and waved his hand. There was a clatter from the kitchen. Frowning, he waved again, the clatter improving to a commotion. "Come on you stupid..." he turned, about to stalk into the kitchen but stopped when he spotted a half empty coke bottle on the table.
"Haha!" Jamie extolled before pointing and gesturing at the bottle, which proceeded to leap off the table and dart halfway across the room to smack him in the face. "Fudge boskets!"
Matt burst out into laughter, dropping his empty glass on the coffee table as he pointed at jemaul. "The coke jus hit jew in the face man! It made you it's birch!" After a good thirty seconds of laughter, he picked up the bottle of rum from the table as he righted the glass to pour himself some more.
"Okay… that wusn't supposed to happen," Jamie grumbled as he rubbed his nose. Most of the pain came from the fact that the bottle landed a glancing blow against the bruise he got in the fight rather from the mostly empty bottle itself. "I worked hard on learning that summon charms! Haven't had anything hit me in… weeks! Stupid bottle… stupid fight..."
Jamie suddenly froze. "Wait, I should make sure my magic is working!"
Matt stopped mid pour, his eyes widening as he sat the bottle down. "No no man! I don't wanna be turned into somethin' by dunk you! You may make me a hedgehog or a turban or.. Or... Or a lady horse! I don't wanna be a m-m-mare, I like my bits!"
Jamie, meanwhile, was snapping his fingers thoughtfully and trying to properly arrange his somewhat inebriated thoughts into spells, with only moderate success as wisps of purple magic danced from his fingertips. A cushion leapt off the couch and spasmed in the air before plopping to the ground when hit. The lights flickered when a wisp sank into the bulb. The DVD cabinet shuddered and threatened to collapse before the wisp slipped out and hit the stereo which belted out what sounded like K-pop. Magazines either tried flapping their pages or got caught in wild winds and strewed themselves around the room
Matt let out a terrified yelp as a pillow flew and hit him in the face. "Make it stop man! Make it stop dude," he said as he hid behind the pillow.
"Make what stop?" Jamie hesitated just before snapping again to throw Matt the question. The magic built up as a wafting glow barely contained in his hand, the cross between mist and flames that his magic had adopted billowing around it.
"Everything man!"
Jamie looked around the room, confusion on his face. "Matt… someone totes wrecked your place, man..."
"You did man," he yelled from behind his pillow shield, " just stop the magic man!"
"For reals? No way man, that's more something Justin would do, the ass" Jamie snagged the bottle Matt had set down in his free hand. Sniffing at it, he took a swig, before looking at it in surprise, and taking another. "Huh… not that bad… Kinda stings though."
"Just make it stop!!" Matt was still in panic mode, hiding behind his soft shield against the arcane chaos going on around him.
"Right! I was practicing the new TF spell!" Jamie said, snapping his fingers at the insight. It also set off the overcharged spell, a swirling wave of magic blanketing the room before fading away.
Matt poked his head out from behind the pillow, a panicked look in his eyes, "I-iz it done now?"
"I… don't think that right..." Jamie stammered woozily, a bit drained from wasting that much magic at once. He slumped to the ground with a yawn and looked at his hand, digits starting to fuse together. He giggled slightly. "My fingigers look funny. And feel tingly."
Matt looked down at his own and groaned as he saw they were doing the same thing, "darn it man. We're turning ta ponies now!"
"That just means it works!" Jamie cheered a tad weakly. The changes were progressing smoothly and quickly, a chill numbness spreading throughout their body. Even with that buffer it still wasn't possible to hold back all of the pain, stinging pins and needles in every muscle as the were reshaped. Jamie rocked slightly as he held his gut. "I think I'm gonna throw up..."
"D-damn it man," Matt groaned, clutching his stomach as well, "that ain't normal. W-what is with this spell? Am I gunna turn to a hat or somethin'."
"No way! That's silly," Jamie dismissively waved a fully formed hoof at Matt. "Didn't'a tell you I work best with Elements and Principles? Don't even think living to inanimate is a thing." He squealed when his wings started wiggling out from his back. "Oo, that's still nasty! Anyway, I just make the world think yu should be something else. And since we're both ponies and peoples, it's easy to tell it that."
He tried to get up and only ended up toppling over, unbalanced on his still changing rear legs tangled in his pants. He laughed at the table he just missed hitting. "That would have been nastier!" A bit of squirming got him upright, but he noticed something off. Another wiggle reinforced the wrongness, so he took a peek. "Umm…. Matt…"
"Yeah man?" He looked over at Jamie, wincing as the holes started to appear in his limbs. "What's the deal man."
"I think my dick ran away!" Jamie gave Matt a distinct look of distress. "You got to help me fin' him!"
"Wha man?" Matt said slowly, before his eyes widened with revelation and he burst out laughing. "Damn colt! You made you a mare!?"
"Jayjay… where are you?" Jamie was too busy trying to get a proper look at his nethers. More or less fully transformed by that point, he was chasing his longer than normal tail first one way, then the other as if it would get his closer, before tripping and taking a spill that left him on his back with his legs spread wide, confirming that he had in indeed stumbled on the way to become her.
Matt's laughter roared to into high gear but as he laughed, his voice started to change. Instead of just adopting the scratchy hissy tone. His voice seemed to raise a few octaves as well. "D-damn it Jamie ," he managed to say between his laughs, "or should I say Jemimah!"
By now he was fully changed as well, though there was some differences. The fin on his neck and head seemed to be longer and there was no fang sticking out from under his lip. He also seemed to be more thinner and lithe in his build.
Jamie rolled over awkwardly got up, shedding his shirt as he did. While he wasn't the most huskily built stallion before, there were quite a few more curves, and his pale purple and grey mane was much longer, matching the tail. He still hadn't earned a cutie mark, or even knew if he would get one, so whether that would have changed or not was a none issue. He awkwardly lifted one hind leg then the other. "It's weird having nothing back there… really weird… I miss Jayjay..."
Matt just kept laughing at him; his laugh was far more airy and lighter sounding that before. "I can't believe you did it colt! You're a mare!" As he laughed, he decided to get his clothes off. He had to get off the couch and after minimal effort but he managed to kick his jeans off. But while doing so, he gave his friend a full view of his backside as his tail flicked about.
Jamie flapped absently a few times, trying to get a feeling for the spell from the lingering traces and failing big time. The alcohol in his system wasn't helping either. He snorted and glanced over at Matt, only to smirk. "Looks like the spell hit you the same way, princess."
"What are you talking about," Matt asked, quickly turning about to face him, "you're the one who's the mare not me." He paused for a second to bite his shirt collar as he sat on the floor and pulled his shirt off. "I not a lady horse. You are silly."
"You were so tiny you don't notice it's gone?" Jamie teased walking over and swatting Matt's flank with his tail.
"Buck you pal," he said with a glare, "you had genetics on your side. Tropical and black is the instant plus on your side. 'Sides, your geekiness cancels that out."
"You sound like Justin." Jamie narrows his eyes and hissed. "Why'd you have to bring up that rat face bastard Justin!? He ruined my birthday!"
"Hey man, you still say I'mma mare! I not a mare! And I didn't bring him up, you did!"
"This whole night is his fault! It was going to be a good day! Do day things! Then do night things! And do birth things too cause it's the birth day! Now I'm fought and detentioned, and I think I'm drunk and I'm a mare cause he's full of haystacks!" Jamie set off on a little tirade and rant. His wings were half extended. More concerning was the magic that was starting to seep from him as he paced. He tripped on one of the books that had gotten scattered and irritation spiked, wing and magic flaring with it.
Matt let out a startled yelp and took a few steps backwards. His backhooves smacked into a book as well and he tumbled head over heels till he landed on the ground. His hindlegs in clear view and his eyes widened at what he say. "J-Jamie...," he said slowly as he looked up at her, "I... I'm a mare."
"And you think admitting that will make everything sunshines?" Magic billowed in an aura around Jamie, flowing off his tense body and wings to collect in a halo above him, the air warping slightly, gaining an intensity similar to when Granny D was in a mood of her own, even the lighting shifting as if the glow cast by the magic was shallowing rather than making light.
Something shifted in the room, like cabin pressure equalizing, and everything snapped back to normal, all of Jamie's magic imploding on the halo leaving him looking dazed and confused. "Huh… I think… I think I need nappies..." he mumbled before his eyes rolled back in his head and he toppled over.
"I....I'm a mare," Matt said slowly. He looked over at the now passed out Jamie with a glare, "you cheeky ponyfeather." And with that, he fell to the ground out like a rock.