Dawn was breaking over the mountains in the distance, sending pink light streaking through the still darkened sky. And Radiant Hope had no idea where she was. Las Pegasus was a big city, after all, and she had been walking all night. It would have been wise, Hope knew, to have noted some landmarks by which to retrace her steps. But her mind was too preoccupied. She barely noticed what the pavement in front of her looked like.
She had spent the night alone, walking up and down the city streets. She was surprised. The streets were never not busy. Even the most ‘deserted’ ones had one or two other ponies on them. But ponies in this city were different, more distant, less likely to take note of others. It was as though each pony was in his or her own private world.
Normally, it might have bothered Hope — though who knew what her normal was anymore? — but now, it was just what she needed. She was at once in the company of other ponies, but also completely alone with all the thoughts swirling through her brain and the massive decision lying before her.
She was no closer to making that decision, but she had to admit that the calm night and the warm, dry desert air had helped to settle her mood. It almost felt, despite everything, as though Radiant Hope could still believe in the promise of a new day.
A cold wind brushed down from the mountains, casting her blue hair fully into her face. Hope finally had to come to a stop, just to get her mane back in place before she walked into something. It took a while, as further gusts of wind continued the work the first had done. But, using both her magic and her hooves, Hope was eventually able to get her eyes free and clear.
A mere instant before she did, however, she heard the sound of a large crash. Hope looked around her. There were so many mares and stallions on the streets. It was so early, and yet, most of them seemed already firmly locked into their daily routine. But as Hope caught sight of them, they all seemed frozen into place.
They had all turned around, looking to one spot on the street. Hope followed their eyes and saw what they saw. Two carriages had crashed into each other at high speed. The two, or at least their constituent parts, were now joined together into one formless, grotesque mass.
The stallions pulling them seemed okay, as they had unlatched themselves and were arguing back and forth over whose fault it was and who was suing who. But the same could not be said of the passengers. Hooves could just barely be seen reaching out from the large pile of sharp, jagged wood and bent, twisted steel which had only recently been two proud and mighty vehicles of transport.
Somepony shouted, “Ambulance, ambulance, somepony get an ambulance! Ambulance to the corner of Bruins and Andalusian! Hurry!”
Ponies scurried in every direction. Some fled, hopefully, to get hold of an ambulance. Others were surely just looking to flee the scene as fast as they could. Wherever they were going, they were galloping away, putting distance between themselves and the accident.
Hope did the opposite. She did not even think about it. It was automatic. It just felt right. She galloped into the middle of the chaos, right to the wreck itself.
The two stallions were still arguing. Hope pushed her way between them.
“Can’t you see that ponies are hurt?” she scolded. “Stop arguing and help me get them out!”
“But it was all his fault!” said one of the stallions. “If he hadn’t been speeding! Seriously, at this hour, where’s he gotta be?”
“I was going within the speed-limit,” responded the other. “If you hadn’t made that illegal turn, we’da been just fine.”
The stallions nearly crushed Hope between them as they got in each other’s faces.
“Can’t you stop arguing until after we’ve gotten the other ponies out?” she asked. “Let’s save them first, then you can fight it out over who was right and who was wrong if you want.”
Either this suggestion was not amenable to the stallions or they did not hear it, for they continued to argue, squeezing Hope even further. Hope had never been more thankful to be a crystal pony, as crystals are hard to squish.
Looking around, she noticed that the EIS had managed to plaster some ‘wanted’ posters in the area. With a flash (the blinding blue light having no effect on the stallions’ argument), she teleported over to the wall and found a wanted poster featuring the so called, “rogue princess,” herself. A blue aura formed around it and the poster tore itself from the wall. With her own image floating beside her, Hope teleported. She appeared right in front of the bellowing stallions, who again took no notice.
“Listen to me!” Hope said, the wanted poster waving in the stallion’s faces. “I am a dangerous fugitive. Do you really want to keep ignoring me?”
The stallions fell silent. They focused their full attention on Hope. Their whole demeanors had changed. They had fallen silent and waited for Hope’s next move. She was relieved. Fear might be only marginally better than anger, but at least they were alert.
“Alright,” she said. “How many ponies were in your carriages?”
“Three in mine,” said one.
“Four for me,” said the other.
“Okay. Come and help me dig them out,” Hope said. Without hesitation, she dashed to the wreck and started pulling some wood away.
The stallions glanced at each other, unsure. Realizing that nopony was helping her, Hope looked over her shoulder at them. She levitated the poster again and shook it. “Dangerous fugitive, remember?”
The stallions exchanged worried glances. At the gallop, they were there to help. The used their strength to pull away as much of the wood as they could, while Hope and her magic did the rest. Soon, the stallions managed to wrestle the first pony free from the wreckage.
“Okay, lay him down there,” Hope said, nodding to a spot nearby.
“But he looks pretty badly hurt,” said the first stallion. “Maybe we should get him to a hospital.”
Indeed, this particular unicorn did look pretty badly hurt. He had been cut and injured in several places and, though the wood had thankfully not remained inside of him, he was losing a lot of blood.
“I’ll take care of him,” Hope said. “You get the others.”
“I don’t know. He should really go to a hospital or something,” the stallion said.
“We might not make it that long,” Hope said. “I can handle this.”
The stallion looked unsure. He did not put the unicorn down.
Hope rolled her eyes. Once more, she levitated up the ‘wanted’ poster at his eye-level.
With a neigh of fright, the stallion put the unicorn on the ground and returned to the wreckage. Hope approached the unicorn. Her horn began to glow. He was seriously injured. But it wasn’t a problem. The blue glow from her horn spread over his entire body and his wounds began to close. Soon, they had all closed up and there was no longer any trace of them. As the glow faded, he woke up.
“What happened?” he asked as he pushed himself to his hooves.
“You were in an accident,” Hope said. “Get to a safe distance but don’t overexert yourself. You’re not hurt anymore. But you’ll need to rest.”
Hope did not get a chance to answer the unicorn’s confused, “Anymore?” The second stallion brought her the crash’s second injured pony. Soon, she had healed this one, just in time for the next.
And so it went, with her healing the third and the fourth pony. Then the stallions brought out three ponies all together and placed them before her. Hope looked them over. These three made the wounds on the others look like papercuts. They were all in very bad condition and each looked ready to expire at any moment.
Hope looked them over and, all at once, she felt tired. She had not felt tired before, not even after all the grievous injuries she had faced and all the healing she had done. It must have been the adrenaline, she thought. But now, looking at these three ponies, the worst injured of them all, Hope felt utterly exhausted.
There’s too much to do. But I can’t let them die. How can I save them all?
Blood was spilling everywhere. If she tried one by one, she would probably lose the last. But she felt so weak. She had been walking all night, probably not eaten in twenty-four hours, and was already under intense mental strain from trying to sort out the Umbrum’s proposal. How could she possibly do it?
Hope closed her eyes. She felt tears beginning to well up inside.
I can’t do it, she thought. I can’t do it!
She saw the faces again, the faces of every pony that had perished in the Siege. She saw the faces of her parents, for the first time in a thousand years. She saw the faces of all the fairies she had once believed the Umbrum to be. She saw the face of Starlight Glimmer, and that of Dr. Fie, and those of all four princesses. And finally, she saw the face of Sombra.
Her eyes opened. There were no tears.
“I can’t do it,” she said. “I can’t lose another pony.”
Hope’s horn began to glow, and its blue light enveloped all three wounded at once. She stood there, feeding her power into them, sending every last ounce of energy she could muster. Hope felt tired, exhausted, drained. But she did not stop. She could not stop. She would not let herself stop, even if that meant she exhausted her own life-force before she restored theirs.
So much destruction, so much meaningless pain, so many ponies who had to suffer, she thought. No pony will ever hurt again because of me. Not again. Never again.
Hope suddenly felt herself become lighter. Though she had been wavering, she stood up tall. With renewed vigor, she sent as much magic through her horn as she could. And, for a brief, shining moment, Hope thought she saw the blue stream flicker green.
Then it was over. Hope could not keep her legs from collapsing under her. She was tired, very tired. She wanted to sleep. But she could not. Hope forced her head up, to look at her three patients. They were all groggily returning to consciousness. Their wounds had closed up entirely. They were fully healed.
Her work done, Hope laid her head down and slept.
Radiant Hope awoke. She was lying down. Something was underneath her, supporting her. Something hard and cold. Her eyes fluttered open. She saw the intersection, the same intersection she had been at this morning, the intersection where the accident occurred. As her senses returned, she realized that she was suspended off of the ground. But she was clearly on something solid. Solid and long.
The answer was obvious. A bench.
It was one of those modern benches, made entirely of metal. Those types of benches had not existed in Hope’s time. Back then, and even in much of Equestria today, benches were made of wood. Hope had never gotten used to seeing the metal kind. But Hope was in Las Pegasus, a modern city, and one that wanted everypony to know about it.
She didn’t know what to think about this addition to modernity. The cold steel had much less give than wood, even of the sturdiest kind and thus, while wood was uncomfortable to sleep on, steel was more so. Hope could feel aches along her whole body. But she did have to admit, it was nice not to end up with any splinters in unfortunate places.
Hope hadn’t even noticed this bench here before
As Hope’s grogginess subsided, she turned onto her stomach. As she looked down at the bench below her, Hope almost jumped to her hooves. She was staring face to face at her own face.
A greyscale version of her face, below an inscription written in big, bold letters, “RADIANT HOPE: TRAITOR!”
“Can you believe what passes for news these days?” came a gruff, somewhat raspy voice.
Hope pushed herself into a sitting position. She looked once more at the image and saw that it was not an isolated phenomenon. No, it was part of a long sheet of paper with several sections. There was a large heading at the top, printed in ugly, pretentious letters, “Seaddle Daily Stablegraph.”
A newspaper. The very newspaper, if Hope recalled correctly, that Stirring Words had written for. She scanned over the paper once again, particularly the article which pertained directly to her. Underneath her portrait — it turned out to be a drawing and, perhaps it was Dr. Fie’s influence, but Hope could not help but find it a very poor likeness — was the lead for the article, “EXCLUSIVE! Letters exchanged between secret cabal reveals plot to overthrow princesses.”
Hope shook her head. She looked at the byline again. Whoever this “Fast Facts” pony was, he had things all wrong. She had no desire to overthrow the princesses. She never had. But now everypony in the Seaddle environs would think she did. They would think the worst of her.
Well, no different than normal, she thought.
Hope glanced upward. Another pony was sitting there. He must have been the one to have spoken.
Hope could not make out much of him, other than that his coat was light brown in color. Otherwise, his whole upper body was blocked by the large newspaper he was holding up.
This one was from the “Daily North Equestria.” It too offered Hope the sight of her own visage. But this image was completely different. Whereas the Hope on the paper below looked fairly disheveled and very mean, this Radiant Hope looked refined, elegant, and poised, indeed more like a goddess than a mortal mare. In fact, she looked very much like the pony a young Hope had once seen in the Crystal Heart so very many years ago.
The headline of this paper proclaimed, “CELESTIA ILLEGITIMATE! THE TRUE PRINCESS SPEAKS!” Underneath was a lead which said, no less impressively, “Off with their heads! All four ‘princesses’ implicated in thousand-year conspiracy as Equestria’s true ruler emerges. Princess Radiant Hope speaks. Exclusive interview, p. 9.”
“Rationality, discernment, intellectual curiosity. Ponies have all that,” the reading pony said. “And what do they do with it? ‘Is Princess Cadance’s baby-bump showing? Page 3,’ ‘Is the Great and Powerful Trixie Engaged Right Now? Page 6,’ ‘Sapphire Shores’ Mane Routine, Revealed! Page 12.’”
He lowered the paper and Hope got a good look at him. He was an elderly pony, adorned in a red flannel shirt. The grey-white hair of his mane was short and even and fell neatly behind his ears, which were rather large for a pony of his size. Equally large horn-rimmed glances were perched on his snout and brought out the blue in his old, yet still crisp, eyes. His thin lips were curved into a wry and wily smile. He was an earth pony.
“I’m beginning to think bigger brains were a mistake,” he said. “There was a terrible accident here today, you know, and not a word of it in any of these papers.”
The accident! Hope looked once more to the intersection. She was shocked. It was only noon, judging by the position of the sun above, but the intersection was completely clean. There was barely even a speck of dirt on it, and certainly no debris to signify that a terrible wreck had been there just a few hours ago.
“What happened?” Hope asked. “What happened to everybody? Are they okay?”
“They’ll be fine,” the pony said. “You did good, kid.”
Hope’s jaw dropped. “Wha.... How did you....”
“I read a lot,” the pony said, tapping the paper with his hoof.
“It’s not true!” Hope said. “The things they’re saying about me. None of them are true.”
The pony flipped through the pages and came across an ad for a fast-food restaurant. “Look at this. ‘1 lb. double hayburger with the works; ketchup, mayo, mustard, grilled onions and mushrooms, all for only 12 bits.’”
Hope didn’t look. She had other things on her mind. “I don’t want to overthrow the princesses! I’m not the rightful ruler of Equestria. I’m just, I don’t know.”
“Only. There's the word. I'll admit, it is a steal. Those burger people are stealing your twelve bits. And they'll be happy to steal some more if you want fries."
"I’m just trying to help ponies. That’s all I want."
"Twelve bits. Hay can’t cost twelve bits these days. It’s basically grass. Last I checked, grass was still free. No, what you’re paying for is the cholesterol.”
“Isn't it enough to want to help ponies? Does there have to be anything else?”
“And what's this? ‘Chipotle-ranch and avocado also available. Two bits extra.' Regular robber-barons, these fast food people."
“I know, I once wanted to be a princess. But that was long ago.”
"And Chipotle-ranch? Why does ranch need to have more done to it? They already threw in nearly everything just to make it the first time. Now they're complicating the complications. Whatever happened to the simple things?”
“It hurt to give it up, but it was what I had to do. At least, I think it is."
"And avocados. Eh, those were a mistake.”
“I've never regretted it. It was my choice to make and I made it. No regrets.”
“‘Also try our Impossible Hayburger. Tastes just like real hay.’ They’re right. It is impossible. Hay doesn’t even taste like real hay anymore. Too many chemicals.”
“I don’t want to be a princess anymore, I really don’t.”
The pony didn’t look up from the paper as he folded it closed. “Princesses. Now there was a mistake. I don’t know why ponies have to have princesses.”
“Those days are over. All I want is.... What do you mean?”
The pony put the newspaper down next to him. “These princesses. What makes them so different from any other pony?”
“They’re all tall and slender, for one,” Hope reflected, a little of the old glamor capturing her imagination again.
The pony smiled. “Sure, but if you had to lift solid gold horseshoes at every step, you’d lose a lot of weight too.”
Hope looked down at her body. “I don’t need to lose weight.... Do I?”
The pony let out a harsh guffaw. “I didn’t mean it like that. Body-consciousness, there’s another mistake. But what’s this about wanting to be a princess?”
“It was a dream,” Hope answered. “An old dream. But it’s gone now. I don’t even really want it anymore.”
“If you say so,” was the pony’s reply. He did not seem convinced.
Hope felt a little hurt. “Don’t you believe me?”
“Do you?”
Hope could not answer.
The pony shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t really matter. All that’s concealed will be revealed eventually. We just have to wait. But as far as hierarchy goes, I’m not a fan. Ponies would be better off thinking for themselves. Not that they ever much showed much aptitude for it.”
Hope tilted her head. “Huh?”
“Ponies always have to control everything. Why can’t they just let things be? The sun, the moon, love, friendship; whatever it is, there’s a princess for that. It’s just a mess. Look, they have these pegasi in Cloudsdale to manage the weather, and have you been reading the news?”
“I haven’t had much time,” Hope said.
The pony opened the paper to show Hope an article with the headline, “Weather team drops unscheduled blizzard on Appleloosa. Again.”
“Like I said, a mess.” He threw the paper down again. “Ponies need every little thing to fit in a nice box, or they go crazy. It’s why they need cutie marks.”
“Cutie marks?”
“Sure. Without cutie marks, they’d have to take responsibility for their own lives. Could you imagine that? It would be chaos.”
Hope nodded. “And I know how hard taking responsibility is. Especially when you’ve made some bad choices.”
“Everypony makes bad choices. Most just refuse to admit it.”
Hope sighed. “But they don’t make choices like I do. And now I’m left here trying to make it right. And I don’t know what to do. I just want to make things right for everypony, for Sombra....”
Sombra!
Hope’s hoof darted to her neck. The pouch! The pouch was gone.
Hope frantically looked all around. She ran her hooves along the metal bench. Nothing. She lifted up the copy of the “Stablegraph.” Nothing.
“Don’t worry. It’s right over there,” the pony said, pointing with the paper to the other side of the bench, just past Hope.
She looked over. Sure enough, there was the blue pouch. Hope scooped it up. She began to untie the string. Then she thought better of it. She sent a cautious glance in the other pony’s direction.
“Don’t worry about me,” he said without looking up. “Why should I care what you’ve got?”
Hope remained unsure. She would not remove the horn, she decided. She peered into the open pouch. She could make out nothing but darkness. And yet, the darkness had a tangible, inky quality. Umbric magic. The horn had to be in there.
Just then, a chill wind picked up. The wind carried with it a voice, uttering a single word.
Hope.
“I think we can do without that for now,” said the pony.
Hope had been shuddering, but she stopped as soon as she heard these words. “Wait. You can hear him too?”
“Of course,” the pony said. “I’m old, not deaf. Not with ears this size.”
Hope dropped the pouch, which fell on the bench beside her. “But if you can hear him, you must... I don’t know. I’m being foalish. I’m sorry. Something’s getting the better of me.”
The other pony folded up the paper and put it next to him. “Why don’t you tell me about it.”
“It’s just, I have a choice to make. A choice that should be easy, but it seems like whatever I choose will be the wrong choice,” Hope said. “Just like last time.”
The pony offered a nod of comprehension. “From what I’ve seen, the choices that should be easy are always the most difficult to make. What’s making it so hard for you?”
Hope shook her head sadly. “No offense, I don’t think you could understand.”
“Try me.”
“You may have read about me, but you don’t know me. I’ve done things. Bad things.”
“Ponies do from time to time. Even the best. Did you see Princess Celestia’s outfit at the last Grand Galloping Gala? The 'fashion hits and misses' pages had no room left over for hits the week after.”
“But I did some really bad things,” Hope said. “Ponies died.”
“They’ve been known to do that from time to time, as well.”
Hope looked up, her eyes sad and full of hurting. “They died because of me. They died because I made choices which led to their deaths.” Suddenly, her tone changed. She pleaded with the other pony through her eyes, begging him to understand. “But I didn’t want them to die! I didn’t want anypony to die! I was trying to fix things for everyone!”
“There’s a saying for this. Something about the road to Tartarus....”
“I know, I know,” Hope said. “It doesn’t matter, does it? It doesn’t matter that I wanted everything to be okay. Because I knew what could happen, what would happen. I knew ponies would die. But I was so sure that Sombra and his people needed me. And I was wrong.”
“But then again,” the pony said, “I guess we can’t know what road is the road to Tartarus until we travel down it. It would be helpful if somepony would put up street signs on life’s highways and byways every so often. Would save a lot of trouble.”
“I’m a bad pony, aren’t I?”
The pony offered a gentle smile, “No, Hope, you’re not a bad pony.”
“But I did bad things.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And I made bad choices.”
“Maybe. Do you regret them?”
Hope was taken aback. “Of course, I do! I’d take it all back if I could! If I could go back, if I could travel through time and rewrite the past, I would. In a heartbeat.”
The other pony chuckled to himself. “Eh, time travel. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Everypony thinks they’ll be the ones to do it right, they’ll be the ones with the answers. Then, before you know it, you step on a butterfly in the Cretaceous and ponies are no longer the dominant species on this planet. It could be squids, or dogs, or... hairless apes....”
The pony thought about it for a moment and shook his head. “Intelligent hairless apes. Now, that would be a mistake.”
Hope dangled her hooves over the edge of the bench. “I don’t have any answers. But I have regrets. I could have avoided all of them.”
“Don’t be so sure,” said the pony. “Would you have regretted nothing if you became a princess and just forgot about Sombra?”
Hope did not need time to think. “No, I would have regretted that for as long as I lived.”
The pony raised his hoof. “Bingo. A thousand years of regret, by my reckoning.”
Hope looked to her hooves. “So, you’re saying I was out of luck either way.”
The pony was undaunted. “At least you had a thousand years of hope. That’s something, isn’t it?”
“I guess.” Hope was not convinced.
“Sometimes we can’t avoid regrets, no matter what we choose. You made the choice that made sense to you at the time.”
“But I was wrong. I let myself be deceived. I was what my friend Starlight calls a useful idiot.”
“All the best ponies were idiots at one time or another. If they weren’t, they’d never become good ponies. It’s one of life’s little jokes.”
“Life has some sense of humor,” Hope said glumly.
The other pony grinned wryly. “Maybe it’s just that people don’t know how to laugh.”
“There’s no laughing over 1,306 deaths.”
“No, no, there isn’t. But it does happen. You’re not the first pony who cost lives by trying to do the right thing. And many more have done worse because they didn’t care about the right thing.”
Hope looked up at the pony. “Are you saying... I’m not responsible?”
“That wasn’t the question you asked me. You asked if you were a bad pony.”
“And am I?”
The old pony tilted his head a little. “Good. Bad. Right. Wrong. Sometimes, words don’t capture the whole situation. Sometimes, they just make it a bigger mess than it already was. That’s why people like your friend Starlight love them so much.”
“But, then, what am I?”
“A pony who cares, maybe a little too much. A pony who has always followed her heart.”
“And look where it got me. Look at all the damage it caused. I should have known how bad it would get.”
The pony looked up at the sky. “We can never predict what’s going to happen. I can’t and you can’t. Nobody can.”
At this moment, there was a crack of thunder. The sky above, once a clear cerulean blue, had darkened to an overbearing, oppressive grey. Large clouds, dark and heavy, spread in every direction and obscured the light of the sun.
The pony held out his hoof. Drops of rain, so light as to be nearly imperceptible, fell into it.
“Did the Cloudsdale ponies mess up again?” Hope asked.
“It looks like it,” the other pony answered. “But as I was saying, all you can do sometimes is follow the best light you have. Sometimes that light turns out to be darkness. Somepony said that, I think.”
The rain was pouring more heavily now. Hope could feel water rushing through her long, wavy mane, making it resemble nothing so much as a stormy sea. She could feel it coursing down her body and, even in the shade of the clouds, causing her glistening coat to glisten even more.
“But how do we know the difference?” she asked.
The other pony did not answer. Instead, he looked down at the street below them. The rain was now falling just hard enough now for water to coalesce in the little inlet along the sidewalk. The water became a little river, coursing and flowing down toward the large storm-drain nearby.
The old pony picked up a small rock and tossed it into the stream. The water rippled and sputtered in different directions. Some of these ripples dislodged bits of rock, twig, and dirt which had until recently laid safely on the road and carried them down into the depths below. Other particles of similar size, however, remained firm and steady as the water passed above and around them.
“There’s no way to know,” the pony said. “Sometimes you just have to throw yourself into the stream of life and let the ripples go where they will. That or stay out of life altogether. Take your pick.”
“I don’t want to stay out of life,” Hope said, “but I don’t know if I deserve to be a part of it. Because it wasn’t just that I did something and ponies got hurt. I knew they were going to get hurt. Not as much as they did, but I always knew other ponies would pay for my actions.”
“Then why did you do it?” asked the pony, in a manner which suggested he already knew the answer.
“Because I thought it would help Sombra and the Umbrum,” Hope answered. “I thought it would help the ponies I loved.”
“There you go.” The old pony sounded quite satisfied. “You acted out of love.”
“Love led me into darkness.”
“And love can lead you out again. And I’d much sooner trust a person who let love lead her down the tangled paths than one who can’t love at all.”
Hope looked up at the sky above. She saw the dark clouds beginning to dissipate. From behind them, a small portion of the radiant sun beamed its light down upon her.
Hope thought long and hard about this. Finally, she said, “I don’t think love can save me. Nothing can. I’m fated to be the monster everypony thinks I am.”
The pony let out an amused laugh. “And I thought you didn’t believe in fate.”
Hope was shocked. “I didn’t. I mean, I don’t. But how did you know?”
“I’m not one for fate either,” said the pony. “But people just want to think there’s something in control. They think it makes it easier. But then you miss out on so much.”
“I’ve already missed out on so much,” Hope said. “So much I’ll never get back. I won’t get to be a princess.”
“No, but you’ll get to move forward.” The old pony winked. “And that’s better.”
Hope guffawed. “Move forward? What, through love? I don’t think anypony will love me again.”
“Sometimes the way forward isn’t through being loved but through learning to love. And I think you’re already most of the way there as it is.”
Hope lowered her head. “But ponies will still think I’m a monster.”
“People will,” admitted the pony with a sad nod. “The kind of people who have never had to make the kind of choices you have. People who have walked the straight and narrow for so long, they've forgotten how the path of life has some sharp turns. Nobody gets anywhere worthwhile without getting turned around first. And there are some people who really need to get turned around.”
Hope sighed. “Maybe if I hadn’t loved the wrong ponies and the wrong things....”
The pony was unconvinced. “You had to love something. People are like boats. The waves of life are choppy, so if they don’t tie themselves to something, they’re bound to get tossed upside-down. And who can say if you loved wrong? I can’t.”
Hope looked the pony deep in the eyes. “You can’t. But you said it yourself. I cared too much. I loved too much.”
The old pony merely sat there, his smile radiating warmth. “I’d never blame a pony who loves too much. They’re the best ponies there are.”
“I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe in me again. But I can’t.”
The pony’s smile turned into a smirk. “Then it’s a good thing it’s not all about you.”
High above, the sun broke free of the dark clouds and shined in majesty once more. The pony reached down and swiped the newspapers off the bench, causing them to flow and flutter in the gentle wind. Both rose up together and conjoined themselves almost into one. For a brief moment, they looked like two serpents coiled around each other, with two wings spread out proud and free above them. Then all was light.
Hope awoke.
She looked around. Light was streaming in from the large windows outside. It was more than enough to illuminate the room, and it reflected off of every surface in the room. White was the dominant color here and the particular manner in which it reflected the sun’s rays made it seem particularly aggressive. This was all very familiar.
Hope knew where she was. It was a hospital and she was lying on a hospital bed.
Hope felt a twinge of panic, but knew she had to keep calm. She looked to all four legs. No restraints. That was a good sign. She felt at her neck. No pouch. That was a bad sign.
Hope’s eyes darted around the room. They alighted on a spot of blue on a white counter across from the bed. That had to be it.
Hope rolled off the bed and landed on her hooves. She trotted to the counter and grabbed the pouch. She did not even need to look inside. She could feel the dark power of the horn radiating outward and into her own body as she tied the pouch once more around her neck.
Hope....
“Not now, Sombra,” she said.
A doctor came in. Or, Hope surmised he was a doctor, based on the white lab-coat he was wearing. As far as she knew, all doctors but Dr. Fie wore them, so this must be a doctor. And quite a distinguished one as that. He was a tall, angular unicorn, green in color, with a proud bearing and an equally proud beard. He was currently flipping through a clipboard, but his imperious demeanor suggested that it was more for show than anything.
“Ms. Jane Dole,” he said in a haughty voice, “I hope you’re enjoying your stay. Now, listen carefully while I.... Hey, what are you doing? You can’t be up and about yet! Rest and observation is what I called for!”
“I’m sorry, but no time, doctor,” Hope said.
The doctor moved toward her, with a hint of menace in his approach. In a flash, she disappeared.
Hope did not target her teleportation. She did not know where in the hospital she had been, or how close to an exit. She had just taken a guess. When she reappeared, she cast a quick glance around, trying to get her bearings. Hope knew she could be anywhere.
There were chairs all around. Most of them were occupied. At some distance, there was a desk behind a glass window and a pony sitting there, doing paperwork. There were many widows all around, theoretically offering glimpses of the outside world but, without exception, heavy blinds covered them all from top to bottom. In one corner of the large room was a fish tank which, however, contained absolutely no fish.
Hope breathed a sigh of relief. It was a waiting room. It meant she was nearly free.
But then something caught her attention. Just as she had reappeared, a large door by the front desk had opened. From out of it had stepped a female unicorn in scrubs. Beside her was one of the victims of the car-crash, one of the ponies Hope had worked so hard to save. Nearby stood the other six. They were all together. The two stallions who had driven the cabs sat together in two chairs by the far end of the room. Hope was glad to see that they were no longer bickering.
“Now, we’ve checked you all over and nothing,” the unicorn said to the assembled group. “You’re all perfectly fine. We have no more reason to keep you.”
Hope was glad to hear that her healing had worked. She decided, though, that it was best not to hang around. She wanted to slip out without being noticed, or at least without being noticed until she was gone.
Her horn began to glow. But before she could leave, one of the ponies spotted her.
Pointing a hoof, this mare said, “There she is. That’s her.”
Hope’s heart leapt to her chest. The whole waiting room turned to face her. The two stallions cowered in fear. Hope looked all the ponies in the face one by one. She feared what was coming next.
“She’s the one who saved us!” the mare said. “It was all her!”
And the whole room (save the two stallions) broke out into applause.
Hope looked at each pony once more as they pattered the closest surface with their hooves. She tried to discern any hint of trouble in their features. But there were none. Hope finally let go of the fear and let the applause roll over her. She could not believe what she was hearing. She could not help but smile.
“Applause? For me? I don’t think I deserve it,” she said to herself. “I just was trying to fix things. I mean, I’ve hurt so many ponies.”
“And saved seven,” came a raspy voice behind her. “Not a bad place to start.”
Hope whirled around. There she saw an old beige earth pony with large horn-rimmed glasses. He was dressed all in white, with a cap on his head and gloves on his hooves. He was standing next to a cleaning cart and emptying a trash can of its contents.
“You,” Hope said.
“Me,” he responded.
“You did this, somehow.”
As Hope said it, her eyes fell upon a wanted poster with her own face on it, pinned up to a board in a small alcove where ponies were unlikely to see it.
“I didn’t do anything,” the pony said.
He next turned his attention tot he wanted poster. In one surprisingly speedy swoop, he tore it down and dropped it into his mobile trash-bin.
Then he added, “I just make sure everything here’s in order. You did everything yourself.”
“Did I?” Hope said. She turned her gaze once more to the assembled ponies in the room.
“Well, those ponies didn’t just heal themselves. So it had to be somepony else. A healer.”
Hope let his words sink in. “A healer? Is that what I am, even after everything?”
The other pony picked up his mop and began to clean the floor. “It is if you want it to be. It’s your choice. What do you choose?”
Hope nodded. Her eyes focused clearly on the ponies in the waiting room, specifically the ones she did not recognize, the ones sitting in the seats, waiting for healing. Hope’s smile grew large.
Her horn began to glow, first blue, then green, then purple. The same glow enveloped every single pony who was waiting and lifted him or her upward, until all these ponies were hovering above their seats. There were a few sounds of panic. But then the gleam disappeared and they all fell back into their seats again. The cries of panic were replaced with sighs of relief. All the ponies had come in with various aches and ailments. They would all leave with none.
The old pony looked on, satisfied. “I thought so. How’s it feel, kid?”
Hope wheeled around. “I had forgotten how good it felt to help ponies. It’s been so long. Now I remember.”
The pony leaned on his mop and nodded with approval. “You live for other ponies, Radiant Hope. That is who you are and who you have always been.”
Hope’s eyes lit up. “Is that who I am? Are you telling me the truth?”
“It’s true if you want it to be. And for now, it’s the only truth you need to know.”
Hope was beaming now, and her crystal coat was shining bright enough to justify the first half of her name. Seeing this, the pony added, “But don’t let it go to your head. There’s still work to do. You’re going to find an old friend out there. See if you can help him out like you helped out these ponies today.”
Hope was confused. “What do you mean?” she asked.
A loud commotion came from behind the big door. Suddenly, it swung open to reveal the green doctor and a number of orderlies.
“There she is, come on!” the green doctor called out. “Miss, stop! You must obey the hospital staff! Miss! Stay where you are!”
Hope looked at them in alarm. Then she looked back to the old pony.
He smiled one of those wry smiles of his. “There’s a big world out there and it’s in need of a healer. Go get ’em, kid.”
Hope nodded. In a blue flash, she was gone.
“Hurry, hurry! She’s going to get away!” the doctor shouted. “We’ll be a laughing-stock at this rate. Go on! Go on!”
He signaled the orderlies to follow him. He broke into a gallop and so did they. The whole group came to resemble a cavalry unit launching a full charge of an enemy position. They were clearly not about to let a single mare escape their grasp.
The old pony began mopping again. As he did so, his back leg bumped into his cart, sending it rolling. It rolled into the path of the doctor and his subordinates just as they were about to reach the exit. There was no time to stop a collision.
Ponies and cleaning materials flew everywhere. The doctor fell to the ground. Trash fell on top of him, as did two quite burly orderlies.
“Get off of me! Get off!” he shouted. “Somepony, get them off of me!”
“Physician, heal thyself,” the old pony said with a chuckle as he trotted over.
“You! You did this!” the doctor snapped. “This is the result of your carelessness!”
The old pony only smiled. “Well, you know me. I can’t help making mistakes.”
Hope tried to find her way around the city, but she just seemed to get more and more lost. Every street led to more twists and turns, and Hope had no idea where the others would be staying. She could try to concentrate on them and teleport, she did not want to risk it. As much as she did not want to admit it, the green doctor had been right. She needed her rest.
On the other hoof, this ceaseless wandering was just tiring her out more.
As Hope concentrated, a glow surrounded her body. But Hope quickly realized this was not the rich blue that came from her own horn. Rather, it was a light green. Suddenly, she felt herself shaking. Shaking very rapidly.
A blue pony with a long, tangled white beard jumped out of the nearest alleyway.
“Radiant Hope! Radiant Hope!” he yelled wildly.
Hope had once been slightly afraid of the mad-pony and the dark aura he gave off. But not anymore. Now, she was just somewhat annoyed.
“W-w-wha-what d-d-do y-y-you w-w-wan-want n-n-now?” she managed to sputter out.
“Radiant Hope, I need you to help me!” he said.
“T-t-that w-w-would b-be e-e-eas-easier if y-you’d s-s-stop s-s-shaking me!” she responded.
The mad-pony’s horn stopped glowing; he let her go. Hope had not realized that, in addition to shaking her, he had also lifted her slightly off the ground. Hope fell to the pavement with an audible thump.
“Did you just come to attack me and insult me some more?” she asked, half-dazed, from the ground.
The lunatic lifted her up, with his hooves under her forelegs this time. “I need you to save me, Radiant Hope!” he said, his voice becoming even more hysterical than usual.
“Save you? Save you how?” Hope asked as her mental clarity returned.
“I… I am dying today!” he said. “I am dying today! I need you to save me!”
“Save you from dying?”
“No! Such a slow girl! Always so slow to catch on! Always has been!”
“Back to the insults, I guess.”
The lunatic let go of Hope, who was finally able to stand under her own power.
“Okay, let’s take this slow,” she said, trying to remain as empathetic as possible. “You’re dying today?”
He nodded frantically.
“How do you know?”
“Same way I know everything,” he said. “I have seen it in a vision!”
“A vision…. Okay….”
“You laugh at me? You mock me?”
Hope shook her head gently and tried to sound reassuring. “I’m not mocking you. I’m just having trouble understanding. Can you help me?”
“Help you? Help you? You have to help me!”
“I will… if I can. But you need to calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”
The mad-pony let out an insane laugh. “Wrong? Wrong? Nothing’s wrong! This is the way everything is supposed to be! The vision showed me. It showed me I would die three times today!”
Hope nodded, pretending to finally comprehend. “Oh, okay. So, the vision told you that you would die... three times?”
The mad-pony nodded his head up and down so fast that Hope was herself three times covered in his long white beard and mane.
Pushing it off of her with her magic, Hope tried to figure out how to say what she needed to say in a kind and compassionate manner. “I understand. But you can’t die three times. It’s not possible.”
“The vision is never wrong!” shouted the mad-pony, suddenly filled with righteous rage.
“Maybe the vision showed you something else and you only thought—”
“I am never wrong about the vision!” he hollered. Hope had to lay her ears against her mane just to avoid going temporarily deaf.
“Okay, okay,” she said. “So, you will die… three times…. And you want me to stop it? You want me to save you from dying… three times?”
More laughter from the lunatic. “You cannot do that, Radiant Hope! What the vision shows must be. Ponies have no choice in it!”
Hope sighed. “I used to know another pony who thought we had no choice in our fate. Things turned out very badly for him. For us.”
“I know,” said the mad-pony. “It turned out very badly for us, yes!”
This struck Hope as odd. Admittedly, it was probably just more gibberish. But something about it struck her deeply. She was going to ask what he meant but held back. Instead, she asked, “If I can’t stop it from happening. How am I supposed to save you?”
“You heal me.”
“I can’t heal you. I can’t raise the dead.”
The mad-pony stomped his hoof against the ground in frustration. “Always slow! How do you expect to beat the Umbrum being so slow? You can’t even figure out whether to beat them or not! Always so slow!”
“I’m trying to help,” Hope said, staying calm to hide her frustration.
The lunatic growled, a feral growl, the type of growl Dr. Fie would have had no trouble mistaking for a timberwolf.
“I need you to heal me now!” he said. “When I die today, I want to die sane!”
“You want me to cure your insanity?”
The mad-pony bobbed his head up and down like a monkey. “That is what I always wanted. That is why I follow you.”
Hope closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She did not know how he would react to what she had to say.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not insane. I tried to heal you already. It didn’t work.”
“Hope is more powerful now. Hope could do it,” the mad-pony said with another monkey-like nod.
“Power doesn’t have anything to do with it. I can’t fix what’s not there to fix.”
The lunatic fell down on his haunches and put his dirty head into his dirty hooves. “Oh, so slow! So slow! So slow to remember! I followed you all this time, waiting for you to remember. Waiting for you to remember so you would heal me. But it is the day I die, and you still don’t remember. I will die mad!”
Even after everything the lunatic had done, Hope could not help feeling sorry for him as he huddled on the ground before her. He was another pony, whatever he had done to her. And was worthy of her pity, if not love.
“Remember?” she asked, confused. “What am I supposed to remember?”
The mad-pony did not answer. He just sobbed into his hooves.
Hope got down on his level. She reached out her hooves and delicately took hold of his face so that he would look at her.
“What am I supposed to remember?”
“Remember me!” he cried. “You don’t remember me!”
Hope pulled back, stunned. “Remember you? Why should I remember you? I never saw you before I came to Seaddle Specialist.”
“Hope does not remember me! Hope does not remember me! All is lost!” the mad-pony wailed.
Then, suddenly, he was calm. He raised his head from his hooves and just stared. His eyes were looking in Hope’s direction, but they were not staring at her. They were just staring.
Hope looked at him. She stared at him intently and attempted to see him as clearly as she could. She tried to remove the wrinkles from his face in her mind. She tried to remove the beard and the wild, unkempt mane. She tried to remove the madness that danced in his eyes. She tried to picture him as he once might have been. As she once might have known him.
And then, in a flash, she remembered. She saw again one of the faces which had appeared in her mind earlier that day. The face of a pony she had known a very long time ago.
“Lailoken?” she asked quietly.
He looked up. He looked at Hope now, not through her. And, for the first time, his eyes did not have that characteristic gleam of madness.
“It has been a thousand years since anypony has called me that,” he said.
Hope crouched down on his level. “Lailoken, what happened to you?”
“I went mad,” he said. “And you drove me mad.”
Hope pulled away. “I drove you mad? I haven’t seen you in a millennium! Not even when the Crystal Empire reappeared. I haven’t seen you since the day… the day Sombra… the day I had to flee to the Royal Sisters.”
Hope’s eyes widened. “No….”
It was too terrible to consider. But she knew it was true. Hope struggled to form the words, but she knew she needed to speak.
Finally, in a weak voice, she said, “Sombra did this to you....”
Lailoken nodded. “He did it. Because of you! All because of you!”
The pupils of Hope’s eyes wobbled back and forth, reflecting the workings of her brain as she tried to process what she had just come to understand. She knew why she had not been able to heal him before. It was no mere malady that troubled Lailoken. Dark magic was involved. The dark magic of the Umbrum. No wonder it had avoided her detection for so long.
But she could beat it. Maybe she couldn’t before. But Hope knew that she could now.
She closed her eyes. Her horn began to glow. The blue glow transferred itself from the horn to Lailoken.
“Sorry, but this is going to hurt!” Hope said.
“I have hurt long enough,” Lailoken answered. “A little more won’t hurt.”
The light intensified. His body contorted in uncontrollable spasms. He let out a scream. Hope hoped that nopony had heard it and would come to investigate or call the authorities. Because it was that type of a scream.
The process seemed to go on forever. Hope felt energy draining like it had not all day. In her mind, she could picture the darkness, the very blackness, that was inside Lailoken’s brain. And she focused on mentally shooting a light through that darkness. She imagined the darkness slowly being poked and pierced and torn apart and dissolved by the light. It took all of her concentration, and even that seemed like it wouldn’t be enough.
Hope drew everything she had into the effort. She fought and struggled. When the darkness pushed, she pushed harder. She pushed herself harder than she ever had before. The light of Hope’s horn turned from blue to green. And then from green to purple. And then from purple to red.
Finally, the darkness broke. The light invaded every corner of it and burned it away. Hope opened her eyes as the blue glow disappeared. She and Lailoken hit the pavement at the same time.
But Hope could tell it had worked. Lailoken looked different. He looked like crystal. Like shining blue crystal. His natural luminescence, having faded with his mental state, was restored.
“How do you feel?” Hope said, exhausted.
Lailoken did not answer. He blinked. He blinked and his eyes darted all around. Then, with surprising speed, he jumped to his hooves.
“You should take it easy,” Hope said, forcing herself to rise despite every muscle in her body telling her to stay put.
Lailoken immediately jumped back. “Stay away from me! You stay away!”
Hope’s eyes widened again. “But… I just healed you.”
“Healed me? You only healed me because your boyfriend hurt me!” he said. “I was like this because of Sombra and because of you!”
Hope tried to approach him. But with each step she took, he took another step backward.
“Just tell me what happened,” she said.
“What, Sombra didn’t tell you?” he replied. “You two didn’t laugh about it when you were Emperor and Empress of the Umbrum?”
“There… wasn’t really time to catch up, honestly.”
“Fine,” Lailoken said, in a tone which clearly signified that nothing was fine. “I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you what you and your beloved boyfriend did to me!”
What had happened to Lailoken?
Read on.