Twilight's Guide to Extraterrestrials

by Eventual Perception


Two Weeks

Twilight was asleep, lying on her side with an arm draped over Starlight, but her face was frozen in a grimace and her eyes moved rapidly under her eyelids. Her wings tensed and relaxed, only to tense again, and she kept shifting her position trying to find comfort.


It was almost like hearing a very faint, very fragile music, she thought. Composed of bells and whistles and strings, played in an empty concert hall. The room was white, even in the late-summer darkness, and shadows from the trees danced across the ceiling in nonsense patterns that delighted and amazed. From outside the window, the faint sound of water crashing on the beach and, even more faintly, the sound of laughter and voices and ponies. Wind chimes dangling in the wind. Twilight was warm beneath Trixie, who had just laid her head on Twilight's chest and was breathing heavily, their fingers intertwined and Twilight's wings wrapped around them. Trixie gave a Twilight's breasts a small kiss before nuzzling up against her. Twilight looked down at her lover, at her muzzle and her horn and the hair that obscured her face, and a great warmth grew in her chest, and she held her lover tighter and knew that this moment would never end. It could never end. It was perfect. She was tired, could feel her eyes beginning to grow heavy as her breathing, like Trixie's, grew deeper. Their love was strong and rough and vibrant, like the bright colors that sometimes could be seen dancing across the night skies if you went far enough north. After so long fighting against each other, navigating the tiredness of an angry existence, they gave into each other, admitted themselves to a mutual victory.

Trixie was asleep, now, and Twilight wasn't far behind, but she took pleasure in remembering the beginning. When she had tracked Trixie down after their final encounter, found her sitting in the woods at the base of a tree wrapped in herself, alone and vulnerable the way Trixie had never wanted to be. She had looked up angrily at her, then, and shouted for her to leave, but Twilight couldn't bring herself to do so, not when Trixie was all alone. Then, too, there had been an impression of bells, violins in darkness, and somewhere inside Twilight something burned, screamed to be let out. A vagueness, a nameless emotion that her language would never be able to truly express in its perfectness. So she did what she could - she, for perhaps the first time in her life, let the words just flow from her, not worrying about any implication or clarity or any such pointless concerns. As she said them, she had seen the tears welling in in Trixie's eyes.


Trixie didn't like the museum, she said that it was too boring and too old. The paintings were too boring and the exhibits were too dusty and she yawned and constantly tried to head for the door. Now, Twilight could almost hear the sounds of a somber piano playing in the background and she walked the large and hallowed halls after hours with her beloved, both afraid, somehow, that they would be found out before either were ready to reveal their precarious attachment to each other. They loved not like fire and water, but like gas cans and matches, volatile and passionate and all consuming and threatening to destroy the very things around them. Trixie wanted to leave, to dazzle Twilight with her great and powerful show, but Twilight insisted they be quiet, if only for tonight, and enjoy each others' company. Trixie had agreed, and found herself then hand-in-hand with Twilight Sparkle as they moved through the skeletons of ancient creatures that had, somehow, failed at existence. Trixie had told Twilight how stupid it all was and then Trixie was spun around and was kissed and pushed against the wall and their garments fell to the ground and they made love before the empty eyes of the dead.


The spaceship came closer to the planet, the occupant inside still sleeping but threatening to wake up an any moment. His mind began to reinvigorate itself from its stupid, and he could smell the cabin around him - old plastic and rotten leather and chains. His head bumped against the back of the chamber he was in and his fists clenched unconsciously. His spaceship hurtled closer to the planet, a trajectory which cut sharply through the nothingness ahead. Unknown to him in his sleep, and unseen by his ships sensors, another ship followed behind, far larger, carrying a colony of creatures which watched his ship with great interest. Beyond that, nothing; but, had the creatures bothered to look beyond the planet - there, another spaceship, it's occupant sole and awake and alarmed as its engines sputtered and ultimately failed. The entity inside did its best to guide the ship in the direction of the planet, so that it would not have to wait, drifting in space.


Trixie coughed, and again Twilight was concerned, and again Trixie told Twilight not to bother with her health. She was fine, she said, but she knew she wasn't, and she did her best to hope Twilight didn't know that as well. Trixie knew: if Twilight understood what was wrong, the wrongness Trixie felt inside of her, then Twilight would never let her hear the end of it. So she lied to ease her lover, to let her do her duties as Princess of Friendship and focus on when to tell others about their clandestine relationship. The sun was beginning to come around, hang in the sky more, and the snow was beginning to melt and Hearts and Hooves days was approaching and Trixie, Great and Powerful, wanted to announce to the world her greatest accomplishment, her most beautiful feat. For the first time in what may have been forever, she wanted to smile in the world, a genuine smile without a touch of pretentiousness or pomp. She could feel it building, coming to a head, and she both feared and looked forward to it. She had even begun to build something for Twilight; something beautiful and magical and glorious.

But then Twilight had found her, clutching the toilet bowl and retching what was left of supper into the bowl in long, ragged chokes. Twilight had rushed to her and held her as she turned purple as she vomited into the basin, toilet water and her own waste splashing up onto her muzzle, and Trixie was truly scared. When she could, she gasped for breath, terrified that she would somehow inhale her own vomit and drown in her own sickness. Twilight rubbed her back and held her close and told her it would be okay, wrapped her up in herself and didn't give a second to the blowback, convinced in her way that it was worth it if she could comfort her lover. Twilight brushed Trixie's hair back and Trixie's horn slammed into the basin as she violently convulsed and vomited again, the worst Twilight had seen, and Twilight began to tear up from fear and regret and anger. In that moment, she understood. Like the bleeding horn, and the now visible bone inside it, Trixie had hidden her sickness from Twilight. Twilight was angry. Finally, Trixie stopped puking stomach contents (and, eventually, nothing but pitiful bile), and closed her eyes and caught her breath, and Twilight felt urine and feces spread across the floor and onto her feet and legs.

Twilight had lifted Trixie into the bath, then, and washed her down and cleaned her up. She dried her off with the best towels she had, and cried when Trixie's breathing became shallow and labored, and sent Spike with a message to Celestia and Luna, to fetch the best doctor in Equestria. Never before had Twilight been so fulfilled, and in her selfishness she did not want to lose it. She wanted it caged, like a captured jungle fowl, where it would sing to her - in it's own, metaphorical way - forever.


Starlight was woken the motion of Twilight struggling against her blankets, gasping and moaning and calling out for help. She had entangled herself in her sheets, clearly distressed, and Starlight sat up and turned on the light and the pulled Twilight closer. She held Twilight as best she could and tried to calm her. "Shhhhh, it's okay, Twilight," she said. "Twilight, it's okay. You're dreaming, Twilight." But still Twilight struggled against the sheets and against Starlight, her hair wild about her head. Starlight swallowed hard. She didn't know what could be causing Twilight so much angst; they were very close, and Twilight had never muttered anything to her that would explain the way she now pitifully moaned out in the night. "No," Twilight said in her sleep, "no, no no no no no." She twisted her head, her horn digging into the wall so that Starlight was afraid she would hurt herself. Starlight didn't know what to do, shook as she looked down at her. She ran to the door, screamed for help, but in Twilight's castle, nobody answered her. All she heard was the dying cry of her own echo.


"Good afternoon, Princess Twilight. How have you been?

"I've been fine, I guess. A little stressed out. I've been having bad dreams."

"Would you care to share, my friend?"

"No, Karellen I really wouldn't. Why am I here? Where is Trixie?"

"Trixie can't be with us at the moment. She'll be here, soon, after we've addressed more pressing issues. The Gala is almost upon it. The Galloping Grand Gala, I believe it's called."

"Grand Galloping Gala, actually."

"Sorry, my bad. It is almost time to reveal myself to your peoples."

"Yes."

"But worse than that; the first of many trials are almost here. They hurtle ever closer as we speak."

"What are they?

"You will find out in your own time. It is not my place to tell you. That would stunt your culture's growth."

"And what happens if we pass these tests, Karellen?"

"You will ascend past your current limitations."

"To what."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot reveal that to you."

"And if we fail?"

"I'm afraid that failure equates to death, Princess Twilight."


Rarity huffed to herself as the scribbled one design after another onto the blank page before her, now smudged with erased images and regret.

"I swear, Sassy, I don't know how Celestia expects me to design an outfit for a Changeling!" She looked at her wall of supplies, loose fabrics strewn about, hanging from their nooks and crannies. "I don't think I have anything that could possibly match! It's going to look terrible!"

Sassy Saddles fidgeted with her nails as she stood by Rarity. "Is it really Celestia's fault? Isn't it Twilight's fault?"

"I'll tell you whose fault this is! It's that ruffian Karellen; he hasn't even shown his face, and yet here comes with his demands. And through my friend, no less! 'Make this, Rarity. Make that, Rarity.'" She shook her head. "You can't just make these things like that; remember, we tried with the store."

"I remember, Rarity. That didn't work out at all."

"Not one bit," Rarity huffed. "And yet here I am, trying to figure out how to make not just a dress, but a dress for a Changeling! Do you know how many dresses I've made for Changelings, Sassy? I'll tell you - EXACTLY ZERO! I have no references for this!" She heard the door of her shop open, and she heard the sound of hoofprints. "Oh, Sweetie Belle? Is that you? Come back here!" Footsteps, and then she saw Fluttershy appear at the door.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm not Sweetie Belle. Do you need something, Rarity. Oh, h-hi, Sassy."

"Hello, Fluttershy." Sassy moved toward the door. "I think I'll go fetch myself a drink. Do you want anything, Rarity?"

"No."

"Suit yourself." And Sassy was gone.

Rarity looked up at Fluttershy, putting her pencil down. "How are you doing, dear."

"Nervous. I don't think I'm ready to see Queen Chrysalis again. Even the Changelings here in town are almost too much...."

"What about Karellen?"

"Nope."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Not even a little bit, Rarity. What if he's scary looking, Rarity?"

Rarity leaned back. "Well, I suppose that's a possibility. But I don't think it's anything to worry about, think of how far you've come and everything you've seen already."

"That's why I'm scared, Rarity."

Rarity raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy, then went back to sketching. "I think you may be overreacting a little, dear."

"Hmpf," was Fluttershy's reply as she crossed her arms. Then: "Rarity, what are you working on?"

"I'm trying to design Chrysalis' dress for the Gala. I'm having some trouble coming up with a deisgn."

"Oh, Rarity, don't you think you should, um, work a little faster."

"Work faster? I'm working as fast as I can. I've already designed everybody else's dresses, and this is the last one. I'd design something for Karellen, but I have no clue what he looks like, let alone what colors would be flattering on him."

"It's just, it's been a week and a half. Are you going to be done in time?"

"I hope so. I think I'm going to have to have Chrysalis come in."

"Why would I have to come in?" Both Rarity and Fluttershy jumped as Chrysalis spoke from the doorway, her arms hanging at her side nonchalantly, her legs relaxed and crossed. "Have you left my dress for last, pony?"

"Oh, um, uh, well, you know --" Rarity began.

"Oh, calm down before you trip over your tongue. It's alright. I can be understanding, you know." Chrysalis looked at Fluttershy, and in one quick motion moved her arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. So quickly that neither ponies knew what had happened until it was over. "After all, we're all friends now, right?" She looked at the yellow pony who she had smothered in a headlock. "Isn't that right, Fluttershy?"

"Mm-hmpf" was Fluttershy's muffled reply, her face smahsed into Crysalis' smooth breasts. Fluttershy turned red; why did Changelings have to wear either armor or nothing?

"Of course we are!" Chrysalis laughed. "By the way - like what you see?"

"I'm, um, fine." Rarity was surprised that, in this position, Fluttershy could barely talk.

"Hmmmm. Alright, then." Fluttershy was released from Chrysalis' grip. "Leave us."

"Um, okay." Looking at the floor, Fluttershy left.

"So tell me, Rarity, why have you not finished yet?"

"Well, in all honesty, I've never designed something for a Changeling before, let alone a Changeling queen. It's a bit daunting, to say the least."

"You realize we're running out of time, right?"

"Of course I realize that!"

"Testy, testy."

"I'm under a little bit of stress here, Chrysalis. Everybody is."

Chrysalis sat on the corner of Rarity's desk, and looked at the paper which Rarity tried to hide, awkwardly, from her gaze. "Out of ideas, huh? Well, it's good to see you're still too proud to ask for help."

Rarity eyed the queen cautiously. "Why would I ask for help from you?"

"Believe it or not, I do know how to dress myself. We Changelings wear either armor or nothing for most of the time, but not because we can't."

"Then why don't you?"

"We just prefer simplicity." Both were quiet. Then Chrysalis said: "Those are all too elegant. I don't know who you're trying to design that for, but it's being designed for me. Maybe one of those pathetic fillies who mothers' put them in pageants."

"Oh? And what should I be designing, then, if not elegance for a queen?"

"I'm a Changeling first and a queen second, you know. Changelings are simple, brutal, efficient. You've got too much....." she glared at the paper. "Flair. You've got too much flair."

"So, tone it down a tad, then?"

"Tone it down a lot." Chrysalis smiled.

Rarity began to scribble something simple on the paper, talking as she did so. "You know, you didn't have to do that to Fluttershy. You've probably scared her for life, you know. She's very timid."

"It was all in good fun. She really should lighten up."

Rarity scribbled some more. "You sure are talkative."

"You'd be surprised what I'll do when I have to, pony."

"I'll have you know, my name is Rarity."

"Testy, testy, testy."

Rarity put the pencil down, handed the finished sketch over to Chrysalis. "How's this?"

Chrysalis looked at the vague outline. "It'll do. I'd much rather go as I am, though."

"Yeah, I'm sure the guests will just love you arriving naked."

"I am quite attractive, you know."

"Somehow, I don't think that will matter. And besides, do you want to be naked when Karellen appears?"

"He came from the sky, pony. He can project his voice across the world, and has gained influence over one of the most poweful ponies in your country. What makes you think, with him here, we've been anything but naked?"