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// Story One: The Tea Tim Invaders 
// Story: Totally Pointless Pony Tales 
// by LyraAlluse 
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The Tea Tim Invaders


It all started on a Tuesday after I had my regular tea time with Discord. A strange little creature with long red hair and large, googly eyes started appearing in my kitchen. I tried to make friends with it, but it stuck out its long yellow tongue and hopped into my cupboard. That is where it is living now.

I am supposed to be the pony who can take care of all little creatures who are down on their luck. Rainbow Dash is always saying, “Fluttershy, no pony is better at taking care of animals then you.” But every time I try to get close to the little creature, it shouts at me in a language I can’t understand and crawls back into my cupboard.

One day, I walked into my back yard and saw a tiny, metal spacecraft. That is when I realized that the red furry little creature was probably a visitor from outer space. 

Normally, I wouldn’t mind having a furry little creature as a guest in my home. But you see, the alien who has now taken up residence in my cupboard keeps stealing my sugar. No matter how many times I buy it, the little alien steals it all. And this makes it difficult to have my Tuesday tea parties with Discord. Fortunately, Discord can usually just make some sugar cubes appear out of thin air. But I would like to be a proper host an offer him sugar with his tea. It is the principle of the thing, you know?

Now the alien is flying in my window at night and making weird faces. I’ve tried to explain that it isn’t nice to scare people in the middle of the night by doing so. But the alien just yells in its strange language and flies away back into the cupboard, planning the next series of pranks it will play on me while I am asleep.

I've tried locking the little guy in the cupboard at night, but he just complains a lot in a language I can't understand. Then he switches over to our world’s language and whines that I am not following the rules of the intergalactic alien worker's union. Apparently there are laws that protect aliens against getting shut in cupboards. So on. So fourth. Anyway, it is a lot of legal tape I don't like to deal with.

One day I had quite enough of Mr. Alien’s sassy attitude so I took him to the side and I said, "Oh no Mr. Alien. Ya'll can't just come in here and steal my sugar and make funny faces when I am not looking. That isn't the way we treat creatures on this planet." So Mr. Alien apologized and I gave him proper etiquette lessons. Now we have tea time together every Wednesday and he always makes sure to tell me politely when he plans to abduct me. I'm glad that my little talk got through.

A few months later, the alien in my cupboard and I continued to have tea every Wednesday after our little talk about random abductions. That is when all of his alien relatives showed up on the scene. They wanted to invade the planet or something. I got mad because they interrupted tea time (who does that?) so I got on a loud speaker and said, "Hey you aliens. Stop invading earth. That isn't very nice. If you don't listen, I’m going to ground you all for a week!" So the aliens felt ashamed and decided to just join me for tea. And I zapped all of them with an electric buzzer just for good measure. "Serves you right," I said, as I zapped them and then poured the tea. And that was how the world was saved by tea time.

Two weeks later, while having Wednesday tea time, all the aliens begun to lurve each other very much. I thought this was unnatural so I squirted them with a water bottle and taught them the proper things to do during tea time. But they kept on lurving on each other so I zapped them with electricity and said "Ewww, stop being lewd," until they finally listened and became the masters of tea. Now I have a bunch of red fuzzy friends who can keep me company during the day and help out with all of the chores. Rainbow Dash was right; I really am the best when it comes to taking care of little creatures big and small. Even if these creatures happen to come from another planet.