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// Binky's Friend Chapter 2 
// Story: A Certain Unremarkable Sparkle In Equestria {An anthology of bad ideas...} 
// by Bumblebee Tuner 
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Binky’s Friend
Chapter 2 
When You Dance The Macabre With A Glaive And A Twist…

The night was young, the moon was bright, the invasion of the pony snatchers would begin with a fright. Diamond Tiara was laying in bed, sleeping as soundly as one would expect of another pony with a full stomach while wearing a night mask and headphones. Then again, to say she was sound asleep was an understatement. At the moment she was practically dead to the world, and drooling, as snot trickled out of her nose. She had fallen asleep while listening to Saphire Shores and Ra Ra Couture with her music box on repeat. Given these circumstances, in addition to the fact that she put her blinders on, it was inevitable she would remain unaware of the extraterrestrial snake that had slithered into her room through the open window.

Whether the aforementioned creature was from a whole other world, or different dimension, at this stage it was immaterial. Diamond Tiara was its target. And, should the parasitic creature get it’s way, it would possess her body and mind. Even if that meant what remained of its potential host was as spiritually dead as the muzak she listened to on auto-tune. That this happenstance should occur during the night of an invasion of a different sort was just one of those things that made for excellent cover should its mission fail. After all, the alien could not disguise itself from creatures that feed off emotion in resonance anymore than a predator could hide from its prey. Then again, should the snake achieve ecdysis, ascending into a veritable apex predator meant changeling thermadore and alamode.

It slithered around Diamond’s head. In much the way a centipede would curl about its prey before making a calculated strike, it analyzed the sleeping pony in order to determine the quickest method of penetration. Seven holes five of which were currently occupied, six if you count the one that lead directly to the stomach.  It was at that precise moment a spider crawled across Diamond Tiara’s muzzle, startling the parasite out of its exploration of Diamond’s physiognomy immediately. 

The parasite then cocked it’s head in curiosity when the unconscious pony, evidently acting on instinct, started to giggle and wiggle her nose “Tee hee hee, that tickles.”  Tiara said this as she promptly sniffled, perhaps snorted, just before sliding her tongue across the snot dripping out of her nasal passage and using the viscous residue to aid the fleshy muscle of her tongue in the capture of what the parasite would come to learn was a daddy long legs. There was an audible crunch followed by a grinding noise and an audible whisper of “mmmm… Cupcakes!” 

The process of elimination is a beautiful thing, the obvious solution to the alien’s dilemma had presented itself almost itself immediately.  While the mouth was otherwise occupied, the defense offered by the tongue and choppers left the pony’s tear duct otherwise defenseless.  The gelatinous alien snake then tried to take immediate advantage of her inattentional blindness. Sadly,  in much the same way the scent of a gingerbread cookie calls attention to itself  next to a glass of milk, the snake failed to force its way through Diamond‘s nose hole because it neglected the one obvious flaw in it‘s reasoning.  Simply put, ‘spiders are icky.’ For it was not long after the words “Cupcakes” had escaped Diamond Tiara’s lips, an instantaneous effect really,  that Diamond started sputtering and spitting what remained of the foul creature like a cat coughing up a hairball.

This of course lead to Diamond Tiara’s realization that something else was trying to invade her person by crawling up her nose ant into her tear duct. After sneezing involuntarily in rapid succession, thanking whatever gods of Equestria saw fit to wake her at that moment. Diamond quickly lifted her night mask to make sure she hadn’t lost any brain tissue, as most ponies are want to do after sneezing with enough force to tear through a handkerchief like a goose in a Dutch oven. 

It was then that Diamond laid eyes upon her unwanted caller. As what could only be described as the bastard child of a velveteen worm, and an ungodly reptile made of gelatin, coiled itself into a spring and launched itself towards her. Bringing her legs up to protect her face, Diamond winced  as the snake struck with such force the venom seemed to burrow into the frog of her right hoof like an earthworm digging through soil as it slowly tore through the panicked pony’s appendage.

The acidic, if not corrosive, worm wriggled and writhed into her forearm like a hot knife through butter. Diamond unleashed a grunting if not groaning scream as she quickly used her headphones to tie off her arm just above the elbow almost to her shoulder to keep the snake from crawling any further up her arm. The commotion having alarmed everyone in the household with loud clopping, banging, and thumping from the struggle. The bedroom door flew open as Filthy, Rich that is, back kicked the object onto the floor with more than enough force to knock  the ceiling fan out of its fixture and splinter the frame on its way down.

“NARM SHNAKE! NARM SHNAKE!!”  Panicking, Diamond Tiara was attempting to waggle her arm while speaking through gritted teeth that were busy stripping the plastic coating of the headphone wires. While pulling the ear buds tight enough to cinch her infected arm, as her other foreleg assisted, she took one tenth of a second to look at her recently deformed appendage when the pain immediately ceased, only to find the extremity looked completely normal. Clearly, the psychedelic effects of the snake’s venom had worn off and Diamond Tiara was now momentarily dumbstruck as to what happened. 

Never mind what she said after spitting out the marshmallow shaped ear buds. Obviously, it was something along the lines of  “Daddy! There was this ugly ass snake, and it bit me.” Of course, being that she was completely uninjured (save her pride at the embarrassment of having her father interrogate her to find out if she was using drugs after discounting her story as a nightmare or falsehood), her explanation fell flat and held about as much weight as the wires that were barely holding up what was left of the ceiling fan.  

The night proceeded rather uneventfully after that. Diamond’s father decided it would be best if she slept in one of the guest rooms, or rather take over one of the guest rooms until repairs could be put in order. Diamond agreed, but knew something was off in her father’s request. He was probably going to sweep her room for herbal drugs, orange frogs, or magic mushrooms in the morning. Whatever, it wasn’t like she had anything to hide anyway. 

The following morning breakfast was consumed with about as much fanfare and silence as one would expect in the Rich household. One of the maid’s, and a few of the other servants seemed to have a glazed expression on their faces that Tiara probably wouldn’t have noticed if she wasn’t still on high alert after being attacked by a snake the previous evening. Never one to mince words when the truth would fit best Diamond put some marmalade on buttered toast and left for school. Maybe something interesting would happen today, it’s not like there was a fire or an explosion every week in Ponyville…