Pinkie stared at the pink pony, her eyes narrowing. She hadn’t seen her other self since the incident with Luna, and even then all the pony did was stare at her. She had come to despise it. This pink pony had become a reflection of what she wanted to let go. She wasn’t Pinkie Pie anymore.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Pinkie snapped.
The pony let out a sarcastic sigh. “Tell me something I don’t know. Honestly getting through to you is like slamming my head into a brick wall, and not in the good way.”
“There's nothing you can say that actually matters, you're not real !” Pinkie raised her tone of voice. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, I don’t want to see you anymore, I want to try and get better !”
The pink pony gave a giggle. “Awww, you're acting as if there was something wrong with you in the first place.”
“There is something wrong with me, and that something is you ! It’s all these crazy thoughts of Equestria being a real place !” Pinkie began taking a deep breath. Glaring at the pony angrily. It didn’t move. It simply stared back at her with a calm expression.
“What makes you think that you're better off here ?” The pony asked, causing Pinkie’s expression to soften.
“What do you mean ?” Pinkie asked quietly.
The pony approached her. “I’ll humor you. hehe get it humor” The pony giggled causing Pinkie to groan in annoyance. “Sorry I had to, but in all seriousness. Perhaps you wanted to get away from this world for a reason, maybe in your mind, you were better off in Equestria than you were here.
Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock. “Well that was then, I don’t want to go back. I-I want to be with my real family.”
“You don’t seem so sure.” The pony smirked.
“Shut up ! I…” Pinkie wanted to say for absolute certainty that she wanted to stay, but a small part of her remembered Equestria, the friends she had there, the freedom. There were no schedules no boundaries. Still, she knew it wasn’t really life.
“Think about it. You still have your family in Equestria. How are they any different from the ones here. The only difference is you’ll be able to see them, you won’t have these nasty white walls stopping you.”
Pinkie gazed at the pony with uncertainty before her face changed to that of anger again. “ Go away !.” Pinkie threw herself into the pillow on her bed, in an attempt to block out her pony self.
“Ah you do miss it, don’t you ?”
Pinkie didn’t answer, she tried her hardest to ignore the pony. Clenching her eyes shut, she felt a tear squeeze through her clenched eyelids. She just wanted it to stop, she wanted all of this to stop. Why couldn’t she just live a normal life.
“It’s your fault I’m here. It’s because of you I can’t have a normal life.” Pinkie whimpered.
“Hmm actually you’re wrong about that.” Pinkie heard hooves approaching. “Truth is you’re doing this to yourself. I’m merely offering you a chance to be happy. To express who you really are inside.”
“I-I know who I am.” Pinkie whispered.
“Now we both know that's not true Miss saddie pie. You’ve never been more confused.” Pinkie heard the cheery voice easing ever closer to her. “You’re going to make a choice, whether you like it or not” The pony’s voice whispered, in her ear.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Pinkie’s body flared with anger ! “Shut up !” She sprung out of the bed to confront the hallucination, but it was gone. She gasped as realized that the it wasn’t the only thing gone. The entire room she once resided in had changed. Her hospital bed had been replaced with a large comfy queen sized bed. The once dull white room she slept in with a single window, now replaced with a brighter and bigger room. Pinkie’s whole body tensed up, she knew where she was, but it was impossible.
“It-It’s my room, In Sugarcube Corner.” Pinkie whispered. Pinkie moved around in the bed to pull the covers off. She then gasped fining her hands were now gone, replaced with a familiar pink hoof. She slowly began to glance across the room, spotting a familiar mirror in the corner. Pinkie sprang out of the bed, hearing a clopping noise as she hit the wooden floor. Her fears were confirmed. Running over to the mirror, she could only stare petrified.What stared back was what she expected. She was no longer human. She was a pony again. Pinkie began to back away from the mirror, shaking her head. This couldn’t be happening she told herself. She was getting better, she couldn’t go back.
“no, no no no. I don’t want this. I don’t want this !” Pinkie began to scream. She collapsed onto the wooden floor, of her room, wailing. She honestly couldn’t think to do anything else. Pinkie continued to scream, hoping it would wake her up in someway. She suddenly quieted down as she heard the door to her room burst open, the sound of clopping hooves approached her.
“Pinkie Dear what's wrong ?” A female voice spoke in panic.
Pinkie quieted down, looking up at who had approached her. She recognized the blue mare, and yellow stallion. Two faces she felt like she hadn’t seen in ages. It was the Cakes.
“Mrs Cake ?” Pinkie whispered.
“Easy there Pinkie you gave us quite the scare there. What were you screaming about, are you hurt ?” Mr Cake asked.
Pinkie felt disoriented, she knew that his couldn’t be real. This had to be here mind hallucinating. “I-I can’t be here. I need to go.
Mrs Cake gave a confused look. “Oh ? go where dear ? you live with us, why would you think you couldn’t be here ?”
“No you don’t understand ! I’m not who you think I am, I’m not Pinkie Pie.” Pinkie mentally slapped herself, she was talking to a hallucination, of course it wouldn’t understand. At least, she thought it wouldn’t. Even though Pinkie knew this world couldn’t be real. She could smell hear, and touch things as if they were there. She could feel the warmth of the sun, seeping through the windows, and she could smell the scent of pastries that filled the bakery.
“Um Pinkie Pie maybe you should lie down, I think you may have had a kind of bad dream maybe.” Mr Cake offered with concern in his voice.
Pinkie shook her head. “No no you don’t understand.” Mrs. Cake put a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder motioning for her to sit on the bed. Pinkie couldn’t for the life of her understand why she did it, but she used her hooves to climb onto the bed.
“I...I.. wait Mr and Mrs Cake !”
“Shh it’s okay Pinkie, just get some rest. If you need anything we’ll be down stairs.” Mrs Cake reassured, before leaving the room with her husband.
Pinkie sat in the room dumbfounded at what had just happened. One minute she’s in high security at a psychiatric hospital, the next she’s back in sugarcube corner. As if the last couple of days have all been.
“A nightmare ?” Pinkie shook her head. “No no, that was no nightmare, what's happening now, this is the nightmare, and she needed to wake up. Then it hit her, the last words spoken by her pony counterpart
“You’re going to make a choice.”
Pinkie contemplated what it meant. She thought the most obvious answer was choosing between, Equestria and what she had come to know as reality. She knew it couldn’t be that simple. Pinkie looked around her room, she had to get out without the Cakes knowing. Pinkie suddenly felt something grab her tail under the bed, causing her to gasp.
“Ah Gummy !” Pinkie nearly screamed.
The small alligator, was latched onto her tail, and merely blinked in response.
“look Gummy I can’t play right now. Can you let go of my tail.” Pinkie said in a pleading tone. The alligator responded by letting go, letting himself fall to the mattress with a small bounce.
She, paused, turning around to inspect her pet. After being with the plush Gummy she held near her each night, she’d almost forgotten this one. Pinkie shook her head, turning away from the blinking Alligator, she didn’t want to be reminded of him on the off chance she fell back into her delusions. Gummy was a stuffed animal, that's all he is.
Gazing over to door, she noticed the Cakes had cracked it open. Pinkie hopped out of bed quietly doing her best not to alert anypony that she was leaving. She began to quietly, make her way over to the door, opening it with her pink hoof ever so slightly. The door creaked open, to her relief, the door hadn’t creaked very loudly. Peering out she found the familiar upstairs hallways of Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie began to inch out of the doorway, trying to keep her hooves from making too much noise. It probably would have been easier getting out through the window she thought sarcastically. As she inched ever closer to the staircase. She gazed down, feeling the aroma of freshly baked pastries hit her nostrils. She assumed the cakes must have been working in the kitchen, she wouldn’t get a better chance to leave. Pinkie quickly trotted down the stairs, hearing the faint sound of the Cakes at work.
Pinkie then focused her attention on the unguarded front door. giving the entrance to the kitchen a once over, she bolted towards the front door, using her hoof to push it carefully, as not ring the bell that indicated someone had entered the bakery. Seeing no one had noticed her she proceeded to walk out the door into Ponyville.
Though to her surprise, she was thrown backwards, feeling herself slam into something hard. something alive.
“Ow ! Pinkie, you should really be more careful when walking !”
Pinkie recognized the voice, turning to see a familiar lavender unicorn.
“Twilight…” Pinkie whispered under her breath. She watched as the unicorn got back onto her hooves, resting her front hoof on her head.
“Where were you going in such a hurry ?” Twilight asked, in a slightly irritated voice.
“Um why do you want to know ?” Pinkie asked trying to hide the nervous tone in her voice.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Um no reason, I was just curious. I was actually coming to see if those cupcakes I placed an order for are ready..”
The two ponies stood quiet for a few seconds, before Pinkie found the motivation to actually reply to Twilight. “Um no, I don’t think they’re ready yet.” Pinkie lied. She honestly didn’t even know the real answer, but she was willing to lie if it meant keeping Twilight away from the Cakes at that moment.
“Oh, okay I suppose I’ll come back later then.” Twilight said a little disappointed.
“Yeah I suppose you’ll have to.” Pinkie said beginning to walk off. Seeing the conversation reaching it’s end. “ I gotta go Twilight, I’ll talk to you some other time.”
“Wait Pinkie, you still haven’t told me where you’re going ?” Twilight said halting her.
“Just walking.” Pinkie answered through clenched teeth. She honestly didn’t feel like dealing with one of her many hallucinations. “Once again why do you want to know ?”
Twilight’s ears lowered apologetically. “S-sorry, I was just wondering. I’m not busy today, I guess I could use some company.” Twilight lowered her head. “I didn’t mean to pry Pinkie, but what's with this attitude. You're not really acting yourself. ”
The pink mare’s expression softened. She admitted that she’d responded a bit harsh, and regretted being so hard on Twilight. Though at the same time how could she not. Twilight technically wasn’t real. She feared the more she interacted with the hallucinations, the more she’d begin to think of them as real things.
“Look Twilight I’m uh sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh but…” Just tell her the truth Pinkie thought. Maybe it could help her wake up.
“Okay um look Twilight, I’m kinda in a situation right now and I honestly can’t expect you to understand. It’s complicated”
“Okay. Complicated how Pinkie ?” Twilight asked.
Pinkie took a breath “Twilight what would you do if you knew everything around you wasn’t real, everything around us right now. ” Pinkie motioned her hoof to the environment around them.
“Pinkie. what are you talking about. Are you trying to describe one of your dreams again ?” Twilight said with a small laugh.
“No I’m serious Twilight. I’m not describing a dream.” Pinkie snapped.
“Then what are you describing ?” Twilight asked reluctantly.
“Will it matter Twilight ?”
“Of course it matters. I’m your friend Pinkie, I’m here for you if you need help. Why can’t you just tell me what’s bothering you.
“It’s you alright ! the dream is you. The dream is everything around me !” Pinkie exclaimed. “This ground we are standing on, it isn’t real Twilight. My whole life here in Equestria, even Equestria itself, isn’t real. All of it, it’s all just one big huge fantasy story in my head. You are not real. Do you hear me you're not REAL ! Y-you, never were...”
Pinkie slumped onto the ground, covering her face with her hooves. As she began to feel her eyes welling up. Though no tears came. She was at a loss. She knew that what was around her wasn’t there. Yet she couldn’t wake up. Pinkie lowered her hooves glancing up at the unicron, who stood over her bemused.
“Pinkie. come with me.” Twilight spoke softly.
It was in those words, that Pinkie found the urge to get back onto her hooves. She stood up meeting Twilight’s gaze. After her freakout she expected the unicorn to be more shocked, but her expression was as calm as ever.
“Come on we’re going back to the Library.”
Pinkie hesitated, wondering what was going to happen. Twilight couldn’t be trusted. No one here could be trusted. So why did she feel the need to follow. In the past, she always trusted Twilight, if there was anypony that could be trusted it was her. Pinkie let out a deep breath. This was her mind, no harm could come to her. She hoped.
Pinkie nodded, slowly. She began to trail behind Twilight slowly. None of them said a word to each other, even as the golden oaks library came into view. Twilight walked ahead, approaching the front door of the library cautiously.
Twilight stopped in front of the door, motioning for Pinkie to enter. Pinkie eyes narrowed at the unicorn, as she reluctantly pushed open the door. Pinkie’s eyes widened at the sight of her four ponyville friends standing in the middle of the library. Applejack and Rainbowdash wore serious expressions on their face, whilst Rarity and Fluttershy seemed more sympathetic.
Pinkie’s equine body became stiff. The large crowd in the library catching her off guard.
“What is this ?” She turned to Twilight. “Answer me what is this !”
Twilight simply walked over to the group silently, not bothering to face Pinkie. Finally Joining the rest of the group, She turned to face the now startled pink pony.
“Pinkie. We are your friends, we just want to talk.” Twilight spoke softly
Pinkie still fighting the urge to bolt out of the library, reluctantly retorted. “No, I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want any of this !”
“Any of what Pinkie Pie ? a happy life ?” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“No a life of lies !” Pinkie argued back.
“Pinkie Pie, if you honestly didn’t want any of this, why did you follow me.” Twilight finally spoke up again. “Why aren’t you running right now ?”
The question had Pinkie stumped, as she thought about running several times in the last minute standing there. She turned her gaze to the door, then back at the group. She could leave, it didn’t look like they would stop her, though at the same time, how could they ? This wasn’t real. That was the only rational answer Pinkie could use to reassure herself at this point. Finally calming down, she decided to humor Twilight, maybe it would help her wake up.
“You just want to talk ?” Pinkie asked reluctantly.
Twilight nodded “Pinkie, were your friends, you can’t possibly think we’d want to hurt you.”
“Then why am I here ?” Pinkie snapped.
“Because this is your home dear.” Rarity said stepping forward.
Pinkie Shook her head. “This is not my home !” Pinkie took a deep breath, trying not lose her head. “Maybe I thought it was once, but now…”
“But now you have a choice.” Twilight interrupted. “Pinkie you said we weren’t real, but even if that’s true, were you ever unhappy in Equestria.
“I….Well..”
“Ya we're always happy here Pinkie Pie, they ain't any time where I ever saw you unhappy here.” Applejack added in.
“If you did have a problem, you always had us. You always had someone to be there for you.” Fluttershy spoke in her usual quiet tone.
Pinkie was rendered speechless, she didn’t have a retort. Though she didn’t want to admit it, what they said had truth to it. She was never unhappy, if anything she could imagine a better life. Her problem was that life, never happened.
“What's your point ?” Pinkie said, not able to look at them.
“Our point, is that you need us Pinkie.” Twilight said walking towards her. “The reason you were happy in Equestria, is because you feel at home here. It’s where you want to be.”
Pinkie turned to face Twilight, shocked by her statement. “What do you mean ?”
“Pinkie Pie you say that we aren’t real, but truthfully you want us to be real. It’s that simple” Twilight finally said placing a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.
Pinkie, felt the hoof brush past her fur. Once again she noted how lifelike it felt. Her life as Pinkamena Diane Pie, she could remember it so vividly, but in the short time at the hospital, she had been told a completely different story.
“Listen to us Pinkie Pie, we are giving you a chance to be happy. No more nights locked in a room. You can go back to your old life.” Twilight gave a hopeful smile “Isn’t that what you want Pinkie.
Pinkie pie remained silent, for the longest time. There was no more doubts, she understood what she had to do. using her hoof to remove Twilight’s off her shoulder, she motioned for the unicorn to step back
“Yes Twilight, that is what I want.” Pinkie looked into her friend's eyes. “I want my old life back. My real old life.”
Twilight frowned. “Pinkie, I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t, because maybe there's some part of me that doesn’t understand.” Pinkie turned her gaze to the group. “I can’t live a lie, no matter how good it makes me feel. I need to let you go !”
“But Pinkie Pie we are your friends !” Twilight nearly shouted.
“No Twilight, you’re Pinkie Pie’s friends !.” Pinkie interrupted her. “But I need to let you go. I need to let her go.”
“You really are a silly filly.”
Pinkie turned to face her Equestrian other, standing in the doorway.
“I made my choice, these are your friends, not mine.”
The counterpart’s expression saddened, her hair had drooped losing it’s poofy nature. “I did give you a choice didn’t I ?”
Pinkie Pie shook her head. “I’m not falling back. I don’t need Equestria anymore.” Pinkie approached her other. “I don’t need Pinkie Pie anymore.
The counterpart’s eyes began to well up with tears. “No ! you are Pinkie Pie, can’t you see that !”
Pinkie shook her head. “No, Pinkie Pie’s just in my head.”
“Stop saying that !” The Counterpart began sobbing. “Your…..”
Pinkie walked over to her counterpart, bringing her into a hug. “ I want to be Diane now.” Diane spoke in a quiet soothing voice.
“But... You can’t just wish this all away.” The Pinkie Pony whispered.
“I know.” Pinkie said letting her go.
“But it’s about time I went home.”
The pony counterpart stared at her her with a look of disbelief. Tears were still streaming down her face. Diane knew she had found the answer. The two pink ponies stared at each other, before the counterpart decided to break the silence
“You really are a big party pooper aren’t you ?”
Diane let out a small giggle, that shocked her slightly. “I guess I am.”
The two once again stared in silence, before Diane began stifling a laugh, the counterpart followed suite. Within a few seconds the two were laughing at each other. Joyful, high pitched laughter. Diane felt with each laugh, all her doubts just float away. She was ready to let go.
At that point, she heard a voice call her name.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“D...iane ?”
“Sh….is waking up.”
Diane awoke to find two figures towering over her. Her eyes squinted as she tried to focus on, on the figures silhouetted by the bright light behind them. Diane reached forward, feeling another hand grip her own. Sitting up, her vision returned to normal, she turned to see the two figures. It was Fiona, and Tessa. Diane gazed past them, to find she was back in her room at the hospital.
“Diane, oh thank goodness you're awake. How are you feeling ?” Tessa asked in a worried tone.
“What happened to me ?” Diane asked in a hoarse voice.
“Well I came in to check on you.” Fiona sat next to Diane. “You were passed out on the floor of your room.”
Diane, still dazed raised her appendages, up to her eyes. with her vision now clear, she could see that they were hands. her hooves were gone. Equestria was gone. She sighed, realizing that she must have been right. It really was in her mind. So why did she still not feel satisfied. Diane lowered her hands, turning to face Tessa. Diane could see the concern in her eyes. So much like Twilight, yet so different. The same could be said for Fiona.
“Tessa. Will things ever be normal for me again. Can I really get better.?” Diane asked, her voice shaking.
Tessa’s face turned to that of shock, then slowly softened. “Diane, of course you can. Why would you think you couldn’t ?”
“I...I want to get better Tessa. I want my life back.” Diane, croaked tears welling up in her eyes.
Tessa knelt down in front of her, resting a hand on her cheek. “Diane, don’t be so upset. I know it’s hard, but you’ve made incredible progress.” This caught Diane’s attention.
“Y-you really think that ?” She asked in a whisper.
Tessa nodded. “Yes. For once we are actually able to talk to you, and I mean actually talk to you.” Tessa stood back up. “I can’t say for certain yet, but personally I don’t think you’ll be staying with us as long as you think.” Tessa said giving a hopeful smile.
Diane though mildly excited by the news, decided not to get her hopes up. After All there was no guarantee. Still, she’d gone this far why stop trying.
“Well I want to get better. I do, I just….” Diane stopped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She glanced over to see Fiona giving her a sympathetic smile.
“You will get better.” She said simply. Diane, stared into her green eyes. Once again she noted how alike she was to Fluttershy. She still couldn’t grasp how all this time she had created beings based on real people she hardly even remembered. Yet they knew more about her, than she did. Diane smiled. She wasn’t Fluttershy, but is sure was a good substitute. Diane glanced over at Tessa.
“I..I guess I’d like to go back to sleep. Just for now.”
“Oh, that's alright Diane. I was going to recommend that anyway.” Tessa turned to Fiona “Nurse Shay, can you stay with her, just till she falls asleep ?”
Fiona nodded. Moving over to help Diane get into the bed.
Diane laid her head back down onto white pillow, feeling a sense of relaxation. She casually glanced to her side, seeing a familiar green plushie. Diane picked up the gummy plushie, bringing it into a hug.
“I will get better.”