//------------------------------//
// Interception 
// Story: The Swift Spear of Street Justice 
// by pertelote345 
//------------------------------//

Today was proving to be one of the most uncomfortable days of my life... 

I was currently crammed in a dumpster praying lit cigars weren't going to be tossed at me so I could electrocute a gem smuggler. This of course put me in a sitting position and the absolute last thing wanted to do was sit.

Making matters worse Street Justice was stuffed in right next to me.

Don't get me wrong, she was growing on me (like mold, but still) after having her kiss me and being close enough to smell her over the garbage, I was coming to a revelation.

Street Justice was a mare.

Okay, yes, I learned that about two minutes after meeting her, but... It was hard to grock okay? When a 400lb mountain of muscle with a gruff voice and world weary attitude shows up you don't tend to think of them as female.

Still, you could see it, if you really looked. She had just the slightest curves to her muscle and the camoflage bow she wore seemed like a subtle nod to femininity.

A whole pile of things were falling into place. Being a girl and looking like that probably sucked. How much of the world weary misery was based on her years as a cop and how much of it was because she was trapped in a body she hated? I didn't know much about dysphoria, but it sounded even worse than my OCD.

All the misery, all the sarcasm... And beneath that exterior she was just a delicate flower.

A flower I was always laying my problems on.

I grit my teeth. Well not anymore! I knew what it was like to have personal problems and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to be more supportive! I had to start treating her like a mare, do some things that she would like. 

What did mares like again?

"HIYA!" 

My thoughts were cut off as Street leaped out of the dumpster and tackled our target, slamming the mare into a nearby wall with the force of a wrecking ball and hoof cuffing her with practiced precision. "Tranquil Cove! You are under arrest for violation of the conditions of your bail."

The mare stared at her, terrified. "W-what? You can't do this."

Street narrowed her eyes. "If you didn't want bounty hunters coming after you, then maybe you should have paid your own bail. Now, you're coming with us." She got right up in Tranquil's face. "And while I'd rather you walked under your own power, I will not hesitate to break your legs if you try to start something, capische?"

The deeply traumatized mare shuddered... And nodded.

Street snorted, letting her down. "Good, now if a certain lazy ass partner will get his butt out of the junk heap, we'll get going."

I blinked, still in a bit of shock. "Oh! Right! Sorry..."

I got out of the dumpster and finished up Tranquil's restraints. Then we started the long walk to the station, Street glaring at the mare without a hint of mercy.

Perhaps 'delicate flower' wasn't the right phrase...


#


"Sooo... how many bits would I have to pay you to let me go?"

I sighed. If all our targets were going to act like this I was seriously considering investing in some gags.

We were carrying our capture down the streets of Canterlot. Completely openly of course, we had nothing to hide. We weren't even getting that many looks. I had a leash on her so I assumed the ponies around us thought we were just an incredibly kinky couple and kept their distance.

The only pony eyeing me was Swift... In fact, he was eyeing me a lot for some reason.

"You know," I said, not bothering to look back at him. "Typically when one has captured a dangerous criminal they tend to watch the criminal, not their partner's plot."

Swift turned crimson. "Uh... I'm sorry, I wasn't. It's just you really look like a mare you know?"

My horseshoes screeched with how fast I stopped. I'm not sure what kind of face I gave him, but it was enough to make him gulp. Even Tranquil Cove was shaking her head, her hoofcuffs jangling as she did so.

He held up his hooves. "I just meant to not take what Sweeper said too seriously you know? You do look like a girl, I mean it's subtle, but the hormones definitely did something."

Tranquil groaned. "She doesn't 'look like a mare' she is a mare! Trans people are born with the bodies of stallions and the minds of mares, and I mean that on a physical, biochemical level. Are you really that ignorant?"

I raised an eyebrow at the bound mare. "Thank you for the lecture, but I can defend myself." Whatever she was playing at I wasn't having any of it.

Swift looked lost. "I'm not attacking you! Street, I was just trying to make you feel better..."

My expression softened. The sad part was that he was probably telling the truth. "Look, the term you're looking for is passing. When a trans mare is indistinguishable from a cis mare they are considered passing. However..." I shook my head. "Hormones may have made me look a little more feminine, but I don't pass. I know it, everyone else knows it. And that's not going to change becaus it's down to my bone structure okay?"

I let out a sigh. It wasn't really something I liked spelling out. "Now can we please stop triggering my gender dysphoria and talk about anything else?"

"Personally I think you look great, passing or not." Tranquil noted.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm still not letting you go."

"Aw..."

A new voice came from around the corner. "Halt!:

I turned to see a pair of royal guards walking towards us. I produced my ID and the warrant immediately. "Bail bond recovery agent Street Justice at your service. This is my associate Swift Spear. As you can see this mare has an outstanding warrant. We were just transporting her to the nearest guard station."

The guards, a pair of white unicorn mares in the traditional armor, looked over the paperwork. 

I kept my grip tightly on the leash. Something felt... Off.

Finally the guards nodded. One turned to me. "Understood. Excellent work Mr. Street Justice."

"It's Miss, actually." I corrected.

She held up her hooves. "We're just going off of the license Ma'am, no offense intended. In any case, we'll happily take the prisoner into custody."

I nodded. "Great, let's walk her down to the station then."

To my surprise, one of the guards flinched.

Alarm bells went off. Take it easy Street, maybe they're just transphobic cops that don't like bounty hunters... Oh please let them just be looking for personal credit or something.

"There's no need to trouble yourself ma'am." One of the guards said. "We can take it from here."

I narrowed my eyes. "That isn't standard procedure." I got between them and the prisoner. "You know I didn't actually see your badges..."

The guard on the left narrowed their eyes. The one on the right was more smooth. "Ma'am if anything your identity is more in question. In fact, why don't I take-."

"Oh screw this!" The mare on the right's horn flared and I was surrounded by a malevolent purple aura. Powerful magic poured into me and my eyes went wide with shock.

And... Then the magic faded and I stifled a yawn, but that was about it.

Now the 'guards' were the ones looking scared. "You were supposed to fall unconscious!" The one on the left sputtered. 

"Suppositories." I replied.

They blinked. "What does-?"

They didn't finish, mostly because I leaped over to them and slammed their horns together, resulting in hairline fractures and screams of agony.

Unicorns... When fighting them every second counted. 

I thew the leash to Swift Spear. "Here, hold this." That said, I swept the first mare off her hooves and pepper sprayed the second.

Oleoresin Capsicum, or pepper spray, is a somewhat risky weapon. Though it will blind and disorient ponies and causes rather extreme pain, it affects ponies differently, ranging from completely incapacitating them to just rendering their vision impaired... And then there were the allergic reaction cases, but I prayed to never cause one of those.

Never the less, the weapon was far less lethal than a shock cloud like the one in Swift's staff. And while you could train a pony to put up some kind of resistance after being sprayed... They were still blind and in searing pain, it had saved my butt on patrol let me tell you.

My aim was true, and the already debilitated unicorn stumbled to the ground, coughing and squirming in agony.

I took a moment to scream for the actual guard... Unfortunately, the now significantly spicier guard's partner recovered faster than I anticipated. I barely ducked as she sent a guard issue spear straight for my head. She grazed my ear and I felt something rip. I let out a cry of shock and pain.

Fortunately for me, my partner was still on his feet. He sent a bolt through the phony without a moment's hesitation.

"Cuffs now!" I snapped. I was already restraining the first unicorn. Swift was slower, but he managed to restrain his target.

I took a moment to glance at our capture. Sure enough, Swift still had Tranquil's leash wrapped around his forehoof.

I blinked at him, the adrenaline slowly wearing off.  Suddenly the slow cuffing seemed more impressive."You did all of that with one hoof? Dang!" I think that spell might have been catching up with me... I felt beat.

Swift Spear smiled. "I may not be good with people, but I'm damn good at my job. Say, is your ear-?"

"DROP YOUR WEAPONS OR WE WILL TAKE YOU BY FORCE!!!"

It was about then that I noticed a large group of unicorn guardsmen teleporting around us in a circle and what appeared to be an entire division of pegasi guards closing us into a dome.

And so there we were! A pair of huge, masculine looking ponies sitting on a trio of handcuffed mares. One of whom we were leading around with a leash... Right in the middle of Equestria's capital city.

I dropped my gear and threw up my hooves. This was going to take some explaining...