Anything But The Gala

by Ponibius

At The Gala

It is strange how a party feels like one’s day of execution.

I knew it was silly to feel as such about the Grand Galloping Gala, but after all I had heard about the event I could not help but feel dread as the appointed date approached. In the end, I had succumbed to my sister’s desires and was now about to take on one of the least desirable duties the realm could produce for me. This was one of those days I damned how persuasive my sister was and how easy it was for her to manipulate me. Not that I was helpless against such manipulations, but I had hoped to avoid the Gala for a decade at least.

Still, I had promised my sister I would host the Gala for her, and I stood by my promises. Thus, my servants were currently attending to me so that I might be prepared for the party. While I did not look forward to the Gala, there were still appearances to be made. Especially when so many charities did depend on the revenue the Gala produced. Simply because a duty was undesirable did not mean it should not be attended to without diligence.

One of my ladies-in-waiting was in the middle of applying my eyeshadow when Celestia trotted into my quarters. I saw her smile through the mirror. “Are you ready for the big evening, Luna?”

“Yes, I am,” I grumbled.

“Excellent.” She stepped over next to me to look me over. “I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.”

I gave her a flat look. “Are you really trying to convince me of that after all I have heard of the Gala and what it took you to make me host the night?”

Tia’s smile became a hopeful one, though I could see a hint of strain on the edge of it. “Now Luna, you wouldn't want to start the evening off on the wrong hoof.” She played with the collar of my dress. “You know how important this is.”

I pointedly did not look at my sister as one of my ladies-in-waiting brought out some of my jewelry to pick from. “Sister, no princess has ever enjoyed the Gala. As you well know, this party is your invention and even you do not wish to host it, so I am going to keep my expectations realistic for this.” After examining my options, I pointed at the silver necklace with the sapphires and let my lady-in-waiting put it around my neck. My personal servants had experience enough with me meeting with somepony or another while they attended to me, and while I did enjoy their company when time allowed, they knew when it was appropriate for us to speak with one another.

My sister bit her lip and spoke gently to me. “Perhaps. But you should still play the good host.” Her tone made me wonder if this talk was her attempt to make me feel better about the Gala, or even to make herself feel better about having me host. Quite likely it was both.

“I will do my duty, I assure you.” I carefully put on a pair of custom-tailored slippers that matched my dress with the assistance of one of my servants. “I would never have it said that our hospitality was anything but sterling.”

Tia’s smile became a bit more eased. “I expected nothing less, dear sister.” She pecked me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Finally facing her, I pecked her on the cheek also. “And what will you be doing this evening?”

“Twilight Sparkle had a wonderful suggestion, actually,” Tia said. “A nice quiet evening in with a few good books with her. Most likely by a nice warm hearth and a couple mugs of hot cocoa.”

I smiled at the thought of the most studious of my fellow princesses. "I think that is always her suggestion on what to do. In fact, I would worry something was wrong if that were not her first choice on what to do."

"She is rather fond of academics, yes," she agreed. "But it's been too long since the two of us had a nice, quiet evening together."

An evil grin crept onto my lips. "You know, I could interpret what you said in a couple of ways..." Preparations for the Gala had put me into something of a poor mood, and the idea of giving my sister some teasing as revenge appealed to me.

Tia rolled her eyes. "Don't be obscene, Luna."

"I could say the same for you as you take your former and beloved student into your quarters." I nudged her teasingly with a wing. Her flat, annoyed look at me only encouraged me onwards. I tsked and shook my head. "So strict, dear sister. Really, sometimes I wonder if I inherited all the humor in the family."

My teasings finally provoked a mischievous smile from my sister. "Oh, do you really want to try me, Luna?"

I grinned right back at her. "It might help make the night interesting."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I suppose you would like that, wouldn't you? For something to go terribly wrong and derail the Gala?"

I gave one of my slippers a disinterested examination. "Maaaybe." I suspected this conversation might be coming, especially with the Gala nearly upon us, and I was prepared for it.

Tia let out an annoyed sigh and spoke in that chiding tone she always used when she wished to correct me. "Luna, do remember that I want you to make a good impression on the rest of Canterlot's high society. This is important."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "I assure you, I'm not going to intentionally sabotage the Gala." It took out a pair of earrings from a jewelry box one of my ladies-in-waiting offered to me. "And before you ask, I promise I am not going to run away at the last minute or cancel the event, nor am I going to cause some minor incident to make everypony leave in a huff. I also have no plans to end the night early or to storm out over some made-up slight just so I no longer have to host."

My sister's mind worked as the centuries old politician in her examined my words and how I had stated them. "I hope you didn't arrange for somepony else to cause an incident either," she said cautiously.

I shook my head and spoke with great severity. "No, I have not consorted with anypony to cause an incident. Nor any zebras, gryphons, mules, or any other sapient species within or outside our realm. And do not think I would conspire with Discord, nor with any demon, monster, or eldritch horror from between the stars to destroy the Gala so that I will not host."

Once again Tia took her time to examine my words, looking for any loopholes within them. "I trust you didn't invite any beings who might disrupt the proceedings of their own accord?"

I gave her a pleasant smile. "No, I have not invited a single pony or any other being that was not on the guest list that we both approved. And I assure you, I will not become so sick of this event that I turn back to evil, become Nightmare Moon again, and bring about an eternal night in order to spread terror amongst the populace and have them flee the palace to avoid my wrath."

The beginnings of a smile found its way to her face. "Well, that's a relief."

I nodded and let my voice take on an impish tone. "And I most definitely will not take the moon and crash it onto the surface of the planet, slaying all life so that the Gala cannot take place, nor cause any other catastrophe of a comparable scale."

"That would be slightly excessive, I think," she said, sounding convinced that she had made sure I did not have any plans to derail the Gala. "In fact, I hope you would know better than to engage any plan that significantly endangers anyone. It's just a gala."

I held up a hoof to forestall her from further chastisement. “I assure you, I will keep everything in proportion. I’m not going to pull a you tonight, Tia.”

"Excellent." Tia stood up straighter and spoke with a tone she normally reserved for official business. "And remember to keep the guests happy. It would be such a shame if the Gala went so poorly that everypony walked out early. I trust you will ensure that does not happen?"

Listening to her, I very much suspected that the one time the Gala had become a disaster was now at the heart of this discussion. That being the case, I decided it would be best to allay her worries. I placed my hoof over my heart. “I do so hereby swear by the moon and stars that I will do everything in my power to make sure everypony enjoys the Gala this year.”

“I knew I could trust you.” Tia nuzzled me, and I returned the gesture.

“Off with you then.” I waved her off. “I have some final preparations to make.” I gave her a final mischievous grin. “And do enjoy your ... reading with Princess Twilight.”

“I most certainly will.” She returned my grin. “But do get your mind out of the gutter, dear sister.”

“It is hardly in the gutter.” A couple of my servants came over to touch up my makeup. “There is nothing dirty about enjoying the company of another. Alone. In your quarters. Without an escort to assure nothing impure happens.”

Tia shot me a rather fierce scowl. “As a reading partner, former student, and very good friend. Nothing. Else.”

I was reasonably sure my sister would have called the grin I wore as evil. “Yes, of course, I completely believe you. There is nothing suspicious about your firm denials, I am sure.”

Tia’s wings actually twitched irritably. It was rare to see her so flustered. “I am denying it because nothing of the sort is happening. Because I would not. Twilight is ... a child.”

“She cuts quite the figure for a mere child,” I observed.

“Sister, I am more than a hundred times her age,” Tia said, annoyance clear in her voice. “I held her as a young filly when she had nightmares.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh very well, enough of my teasings.”

Tia let out the sigh of an oppressed big sister. “Careful, or I might decide you need a bit more education.”

“Education?” I asked warily.

My sister smile sweetly. “You do remember those lessons I gave you once I was quite certain you were becoming a spoiled little filly, don't you?”

I cleared my throat as I remember my sister’s lessons from when I had been a little, and sometimes naughty, filly. My sister was something of a notorious prankster, and I had been her chief victim growing up. Especially when I had annoyed her in one manner or another. She had usually deserved it, but she never saw it that way, of course. I could still bitterly remember the day when she had somehow gotten some itching powder into my dress during my birthday party. “Yes, they are quite prominent.” Not wishing to have either of us dwell on that thought, I waved her off. “Now, off with you. I have work to do if I am to be ready for the Gala.”

“I understand.” She drew me into a big hug. “Best of luck.”

I was going to need it.

Everything started out as planned for the Grand Galloping Gala. As tradition dictated, ponies in the finest dress sung, the carefully choreographed blooms of fireworks exploded in the sky, and the Wonderbolts streaked above the partygoers in a brief show of flying excellence. It was quite the elaborate ceremony that outdid anything I could remember, at least in terms of pure grandeur. Some of the grand carnivals of days long past far surpassed the Gala in size and the number of ponies involved, but the Gala was its own affair with the type of ceremonies it held. It was almost like watching a fairy tale as it unfolded. That was probably a result of my sister's centuries of refinement.

It wasn't quite so decadent as to be crass to my sensibilities, but it was pushing the borders. But such trivialities were not my focus this night. No, I had other things on my agenda.

After the opening ceremonies, ponies and other sapient beings started filing into the palace, their names and titles announced as they entered. Then exactly as Gala tradition demanded, ponies gathered before the stairs just inside the gates to the palace. They were only stopped short by the stone-faced ponies of the Lunar Guard. Upon the top of those stairs stood myself, Princess Luna, ready to receive her guests for the very first Grand Galloping Gala she was to host.

Part of me felt a certain satisfaction that all the tickets to this year's Gala had once again sold out. That despite the fact that Tia had raised the prices for admission even more than usual. If I was going to be honest with myself, I had feared that I would be rejected by my subjects and that this Gala would turn out no better than the one when my sister had not attended at all. That would have been yet another savage wound to my dignity. But such was not the case as I looked down at the hopeful faces of the ponies below me; I could tell that they did wish to greet their princess of the night as they had my sister for all those centuries.

It made me feel a twinge of regret for what I was about to do next.

I took a single step down the stairs.

Almost as one, everyone turned their head my direction. A hundred individual conversations stopped and a silence that was almost a presence in of itself descended over the crowd.

“Excuse me, everypony. If I could have everyone’s attention.” I took a couple more steps down the stairs. I could not help but imagine each step sounded like the very foundations of Equestria’s society crumbling. “I have an announcement.”

Everypony continued to stare at me in shocked amazement as I did something no princess had ever done in memory during the Gala: I was coming down the stairs towards them. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the hall as a few wine glasses were dropped, forgotten by the ponies that had been holding them. A couple ponies in the audience actually fainted and had to be caught by those around them. The journalist Speedy Press even pushed his way back through the crowd to get out of the palace. No doubt to write yet another scathing column about how I was undermining Equestrian society.

Still, I held nearly everypony’s rapt attention as I defied centuries-old traditions. “I wish to tell everypony that we will be doing things a bit differently this Gala. It is with some reluctance that I inform you that I will not be doing the traditional greeting of my guests to my home.” That elicited a shocked gasp from the entire audience, and even more ponies fainted. That made me wonder just how much my sister had come to coddle our subjects in my absence when such a relatively minor thing upset them so. “As I suspect many of you probably already know, my sister has never exactly enjoyed the Grand Galloping Gala, but still, she has endured it for centuries for the sake of the charities to which your generous donations contribute.” I hoped that buttering up my audience by reminding them that I was appreciative of their donations would make what followed more palatable for them.

I smiled as I slowly approached the gathered ponies. “So, I hope you will humor your princess and join me in an experiment so that my poor beleaguered sister might enjoy the Gala as much as the rest of you. For at least tonight, instead of standing at the top of those stairs and greeting all of you one or two at a time, I plan to mingle among you. I apologize ahead of time if this means I will not get to speak with all my wonderful guests, but I assure you I will try and find time to spend with as many people as possible. I know getting to know my subjects and guests is one of the true delights I get to experience at events such as these.”

The sound of my hooves rang out as I reached the ground floor. “As always, you are free to enjoy the food, drinks, and music provided for your entertainment, and perhaps most importantly: one another’s company. So in conclusion, I welcome everypony to the Grand Galloping Gala! Your princess bids you to drink, eat, and be merry on this happy night!”

Many of the ponies gathered around me looked to one another with confused looks, and whispered conversations started all about the entrance hall. Others were looking to me with curiosity, but seemed hesitant to approach me, this being new and unfamiliar ground where the Gala was concerned.

Finally, a couple of my guests approached me. I readily recognized Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. Considering Fancy Pants was one of the most prominent figures in Canterlot society, I had come to know him and his significant other by sight. Fancy Pants smiled warmly. “I suppose there isn’t any harm in trying something a little bit different than the norm,” he said, projecting his voice so that the ponies around us could easily hear him.

“Oh yes,” Fleur de Lis quickly agreed, hanging onto Fancy Pants’ leg. “In truth, I’ve been hoping you would do something outside of what we had come to expect from the Gala, and this seems like a good start to that.”

I smiled appreciatively at them. This was exactly the icebreaker I desired. “I have found that a little bit of variety in life goes a long way.”

“Quite so,” Fancy Pants said. “Now if I may be so bold, how have you been, Your Highness?”

I opened my mouth to answer but was cut off when a high-pitched scream pierced the calm rapport we were starting to build. I snapped my head to see where the screaming had come from and I saw the doors to the kitchen slam open. The chefs fled from the kitchen at a full run. Several of them were covered by spaghetti sauce and noodles.

“I don’t know what went wrong!” one of the chefs screamed as he made all haste to the nearest exit.

Before I could ask what in the world the matter was, I saw what the problem was: a rolling tide of noodles and red sauce came spilling out onto the dance floor of the palace and was soon upon several of my guests. Almost to my surprise, for centuries of life had jaded me slightly to occurrences such as this, the wave of noodles formed into something vaguely equine shape and roared. This naturally precipitated more screams and panicked running as everypony sought to flee the monster, though I could not help but note that several of the screams seemed more concerned about their dresses being stained than due to any serious distress.

“Oh my,” Fancy Pants said, correcting the position of his monocle. “Somepony should really do something about that.”

Fleur de Lis tilted her head curiously at the scene of carnage. “Huh, it’s a bit early for something like that to be happening. Normally some disaster doesn’t happen until everypony has had time to get settled in, at the very least.”

I had a growing suspicion that this was my sister’s work. It did have all of her hoof prints on it considering every Gala suffered some sort of disaster. While granted, I had not expected her to pull something quite this provocative, I may have upset her by dispensing with some of her carefully planned rituals.

Still, as the princess hosting the Gala, it was my duty to protect my guests, whether or not my sister was the fiend behind this pasta-based attack.

I stepped forward as ponies fled behind me. I straightened myself and called out with all the command and authority I could bring to bear. “Stand back, everypony! I will save you from this monster!”

My challenge must have been heard by the spaghetti monster, for it turned to face me. Two big meatball eyes narrowed and it slowly levitated off the ground in defiance of all laws of nature and gods. It let out a challenging roar and shot at me.

A savage grin spread across my mouth and I met its charge. Tonight was going to be much more entertaining than I originally expected.

“And then I rent its noodly appendages asunder!” I declared triumphantly to my sister.

“Yes, yes, I’m proud of you, Luna,” Tia said with bored disinterest.

My sister’s lack of enthusiasm to the finishing of my tale caused me to put up my lower lip. “Come now, it was a glorious battle. Everypony saw it and cheered for me when I smote mine enemy.”

Tia did not even bother to look up from her golf ball and she lined up her shot. “I’m sure it was very exciting to watch.”

I rose my chin and looked away from her. “You do not even care.”

“Of course I care.” She stopped measuring her shot to look up. “Sorry, just that I’ve already heard the story from half the servants and guards in the palace. It’s been the talk of the town since the Gala.”

I suspected, and her lackluster reaction in my story only supported my theory that she had watched my battle with the spaghetti monster from afar using some sort of magic. Such was well within her power, and no doubt she would have been curious to see how my hosting of the Gala was going. Well, if that was how she was going to be, then there was not much to be done about it.

I leaned against my golf bag. “Still, I have to admit, that monster attack did seem to do wonders to loosen everypony up. I had a wonderful night talking with everypony.”

Tia went back to lining up her shot, carefully looking down to the green as she did so. “I still cannot believe you did that.”

I grinned knowingly. “Did what?”

“Disrupted the Gala the way you did.” My sister swung her club, and she let out a disappointed hiss as her ball landed short of the green. “You cast out centuries of tradition, and without even asking me. Everything is set up for a specific reason, you know.”

"Oh come now, it is not nearly as bad as you make it sound." I snorted as I placed my ball down to take my own turn at swinging. Really, she was chastising me for disrupting the Gala when she was the one that had unleashed a monster upon our guests. True, a relatively harmless monster as far as such things go, but still a monster. "It was one silly tradition that was making you miserable, sister. Really, who is the one clinging far too much to the past now?"

"Ponies like tradition," Tia said. "It gives them stability and security. You should know that."

"And sometimes they need one or two things to change now and again to keep life exciting. Stagnation can be as much a curse as chaos." With a swing of my club, I sent my ball flying. I grinned with satisfaction when it landed on the green. "And now this can be the new tradition, and I think you will enjoy it a great deal more than shaking hooves all night rather than actually getting to know some of your guests. And in the end, I think they will come to enjoy it more too."

Tia led the way to her ball. "Perhaps so. But in the short term, it could cause me quite a few headaches. I was all but mobbed by ponies complaining about what you had done the morning after the Gala." With a quick swing, my sister got her ball to the green, though I noted with satisfaction that mine own ball was still closer to the hole.

"I think you will survive. You have dealt with worse." I found it interesting that ponies were more riled up by a change of a tradition than they were by a sentient wave of spaghetti attacking them. Sometimes I wondered about the subjects I ruled.

"Oh, I don't doubt I'll survive," she said as we trotted to the green. "But it's still an extra headache I didn't need."

"Do not be so melodramatic." I lined up my putter, and with a gentle swing, put my ball into the hole.

My sister was quick in repeating my action with her own ball. "You've gotten better, sister," she said with more than a little bit of consternation. "Last time you were having trouble holding the club right."

I grinned. "It helps when you get some advice from a few professional golfers from within their dreams. They were quite willing to assist me after I helped them deal with some nightmares."

Tia frowned. "And I suspect that could technically be regarded as cheating."

My smile became a mischievous one. "Are you not always telling me to make friends, dear sister?" I could not help but relish in my sister's consternation with me closing the gap between us in her own game, and even surpassing her. I had slowly been developing a lead over the last few holes and it seemed unlikely my sister would be able to close the gap.

"I suppose I did, but this is hardly what I had in mind," Tia said in a tone that was just short of a whine. It would not be dignified for a princess to whine.

"You are being sour because I am beating you at your own game." I hit my ball on the next course and once again landed on the green.

Tia sniffed jauntily as she prepared her ball. "I am not that petty."

I prodded her teasingly with a club. "Well you do not seem to have a very sunny disposition today." It seemed that the one-two blow of having to deal with the more irritating among the elite and then being on the losing end of a game of golf had been too much for my sister's spirits.

"I have my reasons with all the trouble you started." She pulled one of her clubs out with more force than was technically necessary.

“It is not my fault the nobles mainly go to you whenever they have a problem. I make myself available, but they seem to love you more.” I casually examined one of my golf clubs. “All the more the pity, no?”

“It would be nice if you could clean up your own messes,” she grumbled.

I gave her a cocky grin. “As far as I am concerned, I cleaned up one of yours. None of this would have happened if you had not been so desperate to dump the Gala onto my back.”

My sister sniffed as though she had smelled something particularly foul. “You would interpret it that way.”

“Come now, Tia. Smile for me.” I put my face into hers and smiled as widely as I could. “Let me see that big, beautiful smile of yours. No need to be a sour knight.”

“I am hardly in a smiling mood. Also, you’re in the way of my shot.” Tia gently, but firmly, pushed me out of the way with a wing. After taking a moment to line up her shot, she struck her ball and it landed on the green. To my chagrin, it came to rest closer to the hole than mine own ball. The reversal brought a smile to my sister’s lips. “Though I think my mood has just improved.”

I started the trot to the green. “You really have grown too used to always winning when I am not around. It has spoiled you.”

My sister chuckled as she followed me. “Is that so?”

“Considering how much more you enjoy this when you're actually winning,” I said.

“Everypony enjoys winning more than losing,” she said.

I putted my ball into the hole and nodded. “I know I do.” Certainly I was feeling much better about this match than I had our first encounter on the golf course. I had been utterly crushed by my sister, and my spirits had been badly hampered by the experience. Though while I was much better at the game, I still found the normal attire for the golf course to be utterly horrendous to look upon. As far as I was concerned, there was no way to make plaid look good.

“Nicely done.” Tia gently put her own ball into the hole, an easy enough feat with her ball being so close to the hole. “So I suppose we'll just have to hope something good comes of all this.”

“You will not be so terribly bored hosting the Gala anymore, for one,” I pointed out. “At least if you have any sense and do things as I did.”

“I suppose we can see how your changes play out,” she allowed after a long moment of thought. “I suppose I should thank you for taking care of the Gala, even if it didn't work out exactly as I envisioned.”

I skillfully tossed my club back into my bag. “This is what happens when you try and shuffle off your Gala onto me. Really, you should have expected me to go my own way on that.”

My sister let out an exasperated sigh as she shook her head. “I did try to bail you out.”

“Something I appreciate, I assure you.” It was not much of a surprise to find out that my sister had been responsible for the spaghetti monster. Only that she had admitted it quite so easily. Still, I suppose I should be thankful that my sister had held me in her thoughts. It was another sign that she really did care about me. “Though really, it should tell you how much you despise the Gala when you feel you need to sabotage it every year.”

Tia’s head tilted ever so slightly as she took a moment to respond. “Strangely enough, that's actually another part of the tradition now. In truth, ponies take whatever disaster I inflict on the Gala as their excuse to start to let their hair down for the evening, or excuse themselves if they feel like it. I think everypony would actually be disappointed if I didn’t take the effort to spice things up that way.”

I waved dismissively. “Continue with that if you prefer. Certainly everypony expects it now, and it does create for a far more interesting way to end the Gala than any other method I can think of. I know it let me enjoy the previous night.”

“Still, we can combine your ideas and my traditions.” A mischievous smile worked its way onto my sister’s lips and I felt my heart sink at the sight on pure instinct. “I suppose we will find out next year.”

I quirked an eyebrow, not liking the sound of that. “‘We’?”

“If I am going to combine our ideas...” she trailed off, letting me finish the logical conclusion of that sentence.

“How about I just pass on hosting another Gala?” I asked hesitantly. “One was quite enough for me.”

“Oh no no.” My sister wrapped a wing around my back and led me towards the golf course lodge. “I have to have you there to help with the transition. It would be so much easier to explain why the Gala is changing when I’ll have you there. Changes in leadership are always an ideal period of time to enact changes in tradition. And really, you have been talking about how badly we needed to change the Gala.”

“I suppose that is true...” I let out a frustrated sigh. It looked like I was falling into yet another one of my sister’s schemes. She could be so hard to argue against with how persuasive she could be. “You are not going to let this one go, are you?”

“Well since you had so many ideas for how to improve the Gala it seemed best to have you there to make sure you can bring about your vision.” My sister’s ears perked. “Oh, and we might even be able to double the price of the tickets. When there will be two princesses at the Gala and the promise of a more personal touch than the old tradition necessitated...”

“I think the Gala would be very different if you gave me the free reign you are suggesting,” I warned her, trying to find some gap to get out of hosting more Galas.

Tia squeezed me with her wing. “Maybe that's not a bad thing.”

I groaned and applied my hoof to my face. “We were always meant to rule together.”

“Exactly.” My sister nuzzled me. “And we can start by working together to improve the Gala. Every year. Forever.”

The way she said that created a spark of suspicion within me. “Wait a moment, you planned all of this, did you not? This is what you wanted all along, for the two of us to host the Gala together and give yourself the opportunity to change the traditions of the Gala you did not like. Is this so?”

Her only reply was to give me that annoying mysterious smile she always did whenever she wished to hide her true intentions.

I gave her a fierce scowl. “It is at times like this that I hate you with the very essence of my being.”

Tia nuzzled me lovingly. “I love you too, sister.”

I sighed, resigning myself to my fate. “I love you too, Tia, I love you too.”