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This is my first one shot ever, mostly the same as I wrote it with minor correction (Very little), Feel free to rage because all the rest are better than this.
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I can totally show them, Oh you have to wait one week before we can ponify you sir! Well if that's what they want to enforce then why don't they use better locks! working this baby over is easy. lock was open in just ten seconds flat. . . ok five minutes, but still pretty dam quick for someone who's only picked the lock to his buddies apartment. . . once. . . ok there were those other couple of times when I picked my neighbors locks, but I just wanted to know if that box they brought in was one of those old antique CRTVs I can't help myself around all those glorious old tech goodies they collect, I just had to know, and they just had to get the po-po involved, nuthin is ever fun when the po-po is involved, always with there, Stop this, stop that, you can't urinate in the corner of this parking garage sir, your under arrest for public intoxication SIR, there always such spoil sports, but now that so many are gone I just, I just gotta have me some attention.
Stepping carefully, as to not make a sound, He ducked behind the door as the sound of clip-clopping hooves came closer to him. Shit don't tell me one of them are up this late, why does this crap happen to me? Taking a small hand mirror to angle around the corner to take a look see at this unwelcome intruder. With a silent sigh he huddled closer to wall as he watched the brown janitor pony push the cart down the hall and out the door he had come through. creeping along the wall towards the cabinet at the back he quickly went to work. rapidly pressing the trigger of the pick gun as he attempted to open the cabinet. After what seemed like hours the lock opened with a pleasant click. Let's see here. . . WHY ARE THERE SO MANY VIALS!? what they got different flavors or somethin? Oh, Cherry flavor it is the, Heh need to be a pony graduate my ass, looks like I just got my GED.
Huh if R63 is Cherry then what other flavors do they got? Hmm Blueberry, orange, apple, kiwi, avocado, coconut, yellow. . . is it what I think it is? With a level of sense could only be attributed to lunatics and suicidal mental patients, he did the only thing he could think of to discover the flavor. . . He stuck his tongue in it. "Mhhhm, SWEET tastes just like Bananas!" He stood there, tongue still hanging out, with what can truthfully be described as 'A moronic grin' until he heard the returning clip clop of hooves on the tiles, headed for the door!
Oh crap oh crap CRAP! He dove for cover with his tasty prize as the door opened with the janitor standing in the door way, broom in mouth ready for any intruder that might be lurking about, or just ready to sweep up as the case may be.
"Hello, Any pony here? aint nopony supposed to be in here right now cept' maintenance right now. . . So if there is then GET!" the janitor said as he walked around the rooms and right past our 'hero' "They need to keep these darn cabinets shut, something's liable to break otherwise." He said as he closed and locked the cabinet. With a sigh of relief as the paranoid janitor left our 'hero' Began the 'hopefully' less difficult exit of the authorized personal only area. He had almost made it when he was stopped by his now 'favorite' janitor pony
"What are you doing back here? Ponification is a nine to six deal." He said narrowing his eyes
"Uhmm, sorry but isn't this the ways to the bathroom?" Our 'hero' said as he gave a forced smile.
"No, no it's not. Why are you back here?" he said "Side's you expect me to believe you were looking for the bathroom?
"I, I had to go real bad, sorry." our 'hero' tried to say but was interrupted by the cold feeling of potion seeping through a pocket. The ponies eyes went wide as he stared at the man in front of him
"Oh, gosh I'm, I'm sorry . . . Let's just go ahead and get you cleaned up, I promise not to tell anypony." He stammered
Oh thank god I didn't put the lid on tight, hope it's not all gone.
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He sat in his room back home, in front of a large antique mirror, looking sadly at the loss of one of the bottles "But I love cheery flavor!" he moaned and pouted a bit, as he glared at the vial of yellow liquid "Now all I've got is you, you crazy delicious banana flavored cure-all!" Grinning with a toothy smile of triumph, trademark of any good madman, He popped the top before saying "Over the lips , and through the gums, look out stomach here it comes!" Before downing it in one go. I hope this isn't going to hurt. . . It's going to hurt real bad isn't it, might have been a good idea to chew some pain pills firss. . . And with that thought he was out like a light
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"Your tests results are back."
"So what's the word, Is it. . . you know like cancer. . . or something?"
"I'm afraid not, you. . ." The doctor swallowed hard before motioning to table. "Sit down I have, something important to tell you."
"What's the problem, you figure out why I have this nasty rash?"
"I'm afraid so." He looked at him hard. "Do you have any family, any family at all you can call to be here?"
"Well. . . not so much anymore. . ." he said averting his gaze "They decided to go through. . . with It." He punctuated the last part with a snarl
"I'm afraid to say your blood work has shown you to be a carrier for the Romero's disease. . ." The doctor said with a frown.
"I . . .see."He sighed "So this is it?"
"Your beginning to show symptoms, yes, but it hasn't progressed enough for you to become infectious . . . as of yet."
"So, I'm good as dead then?"
"No with today's techno. . ." The doctor frowned as he was cut off.
"What and be one of those brain in a jar cyborg freaks!?" He said with a scowl "Better off dead than that." He said gripping the edge of the table till his knuckles became white.
"No I didn't mean that, besides that will only delay its progress. What I'm suggesting is. . . go join your family." the doctor said as he removed his glasses, and braced for the worst, the reaction he got was unexpected.
"Heh, guess this is what it takes. . . A big boot to the rear end, huh." he said before tilting his head upwards to the ceiling "This your idea of a joke you magnificent bastard!?" Clenching his teeth before relaxing a bit "Well sure is a good one, HA you got me, so what now?" He said to the ceiling before looking back at the doctor. ". . . So what now . . . Doc?"
"We shuttle you over to the bureau, and they cure you."
"So they cure me by making me an animal, huh."He said with a fairly blank expression "Funny joke, don't ch'a think doc?" He said with a strange smirk "Life loves to throw little miracles to everyone more and more often lately. I've got to ask though what happens if I say no, I mean it's not like you can stop me from leaving right?"
"If you refuse you'll be put under observation with the other patients, and there the Romero virus will keep festering, and spreading through you till it enters stage three and you become a infectious hazard, Then you'll be forced into quarantine, as it progress's sores will open up all over your body, and then the plague will continue to tear through your body till you're basically a walking corpse. . . That is if it doesn't decide to liquefy your brain first."
"Heh, thought Doctors were supposed to break news like this a little more gently."
"We are. . . I'm just tired of seeing this tear through people. I've lost a few friends to this all ready, some through stubbornness others through the bureaus, and a cure isn't going to come fast enough to save you, at this rate it might not even come at all. . ."The doctor said looking down, before looking up with a bit of a smile "So . . .What are you going to do?"
"Hmm, let's see almost certain slow agonizing death plus going insane as pieces of me rot off, or I lose my thumbs, and I get a sixty six percent chance to be able to do magic or fly. . . Heh, guess this decision is going to be the easiest I've ever had in my life." he said still grinning as if in a daze or a dream. "Well, tell the driver he's got one more going to the farm then." He said with a slight frown before smirking again "Guess I'll give you a ring when I'm all 'Saddled Up'." He said with a grin
"Please, don't start with the puns again." The doctor said rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"And Doc, thanks for helping me work some stuff out, you've been a pretty good friend since I've been here, and I'm going to miss ya. . . can't say I'll miss the food to much though."
"I swear if you start with the hospital jokes again, I'll put you to sleep, and I'll be using the old natural anesthesia, The five fingered one." The doctor said holding up his fist before laughing.
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It feels great. . . I'm not just one with the earth, but with all of nature, it feels like I'm part of all life it's self. Something is taunting me in the distance, but I'm too far away from it now as I run leaving it behind, I run away from the old me, No that isn't true, as I run the old me is forged anew, it's the sickness I've left behind, I'm right here, the old me, remade. Others in the distance, there waiting for me. a village in the distance, huts, warmth, and friends are there. I'm welcomed as I run through the small village of huts, through the wafting scents of the cooking fires, and met with friendly and somehow familiar faces. The hut I'm standing in front of is somewhat larger, decorated with masks and gourds. I slowly enter, not out of fear, but out of respect. I don't know how I know this, but before me stands the village shaman, someone to truly respect, I shudder a bit as I sit down, somehow this place still reminds me of nightmares from when I was young, I sit still as I carefully look about, before she finally decideds to acknowledge me.
"What brought you hear to us on this fine day?" she asked
"You want the truth, or just something that sounds good?" Bill (our 'hero') said before saying with a start" Wait that last part wasn't supposed to come out, What gives?"
"All your truths are laid bare here" She said with a kind hearted chuckle. "Now may I ask why you chose to become one of the zebra folk?"
"Well, truth be told I don't really want to be here." Bill said with a frown "Don't get me wrong it's nice here and all, but still."
"Oh so you do not want to be one of the zebra folk?" she said with a slight frown.
"I caught a bad sickness that some call the Romero virus, or Romero plague, there was only one choice, I only took it cause I grown kind of fond of, you know, breathing, and not being a half crazed rotting mess." bill said the last bit with as much sarcasm as he could muster at the moment which wasn't too much.
"Oh, how terrible, if things would have been different would you have remained human?" she said tilting her head slightly as she raised a quizzical brow.
"Well. . . Yeah I liked being human, I know for a fact I'll miss it." He said before frowning "aren't I supposed to be well, a pony?"
"Well are you saying you'd rather be a pony?" She said looking at him with a calm smile and the same questioning look.
"Eh, not really. This was probably my own fault somehow, kind of the same feeling as waking up on the park bench without your pants. . . " bill said
"You are a strange sort." She said narrowing her gaze before trotting over to a caldron "Here, drink this." she said ladling a portion of. . . 'stew' into a bowl before pushing it towards bill.
"What is it?" Bill said scrunching his nose as he sniffed the spicy brew.
"It's something of a gift." she said
"Annnd what if I don't drink it?" Bill said with a frown.
" If you don't, you'll never wake up, for this I'm certain." She said with a devilish grin.
"Damn your sounding a lot like the Doc." Bill said grimacing "Heh, this is just a crazy dream anyway. . . so bottoms up! not like a dream has any real life consequences" Bill said with a grin while snatching the bowl up with his mouth and downing it as quickly as he had downed the potion, before going into a coughing fit and pounding his chest.
"This gift is somewhat of a boon, but also somewhat of a curse, this will put you in tune with yourself while bringing out your more fun side." She said while grinning a devilish grin.
"What does that even mean?"
"Your much more fun when you don't think about the worst that could happen."
" Crap, so I'm going to become to become some impulsive thrill seeker, or something?"
"Not so, just a little more decisive, wither it's a curse or a gift is for you to decide."
"Oh god this is just some awful fever dream, what I drank was probably LSD or acid or something. I'm back in the hospital, under quarantine, my brain has started to rot, There eating each other, and when there done, they're going to eat ME!" Bill yelped with terror.
"WHAT!? no, now wake up. . . And never quote that movie AGAIN! besides that doesn't even work for a good quote."
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ugh where am I? Bill thoughts were interrupted by loud pounding on the door, no that wasn't pounding on his door, the pounding was in his head. "Shit, I feel like I'm on fire or something!" He stopped as he gazed at himself in the mirror. "Oh . . . shit." he stood there slack jawed as he stared at the striped pony with its black mane and dark ash gray stripes as it looked surprised back at him in the mirror. Well this defiantly DOES NOT rule out some sort of drug.