Twilight rolled over in her bed, pulling the covers over her head as she tried to block out the evil rays of the sun. Curse Celestia; she should have let Nightmare Moon win when she first moved to town – then this wouldn't have been a problem.
Part of her sleep-befuddled brain told her that damning all of Equestria to a slow frozen death was not worth her sleep, but the rest of her brain replied by pointing out that light was evil so shut up.
Still, she couldn't just banish her teacher now – a little late for that – so she would need a new plan.
“Stop taking all of the blanket already,”
Twilight blinked blearily at that, pulling down the blanket until she could actually see whatever had spoken up from next to her. She found herself staring at a familiar brown coat, “Can't,” she mumbled as she curled further into the blanket, “Gotta hide. Light'll get me...”
“Well, I'm cold, so...” There was a tingle of magic and then Twilight felt the blanket start to wiggle itself away from her and across the bed. With a mumbled 'no', she chased after the bastion of warmth, until she found herself cuddling up against the other body in the bed, “Much better,” Twilight said with a sigh as she relaxed against the warmth of the other body.
“What am I, your body pillow?” the other body teased as a flourish of magic began wrapping the pair of them in the blanket.
“Oh, shut up you old goat,” Twilight shot back, tucking herself under one of his forelimbs, “you know you like it.”
There was a rustle of movement as Twilight felt his claws begin to gently stroke through her mane, “I can't say I'm complaining...” Twilight let her eyes slip closed again, just enjoying the moment.
“This is nice,” Twilight murmured after a while. She had no idea what time it was now, and she was pretty sure she had other things to do today – but she didn't care at the moment.
“It is, isn't it?” he asked before Twilight felt one of his claws caress her cheek before coming to stop under her chin.
Her eye's slowly drifted opened as she felt him lift her chin, her purple eyes meeting his brilliant yellow ones as their lips neared each other, “Discord...” she whispered breathlessly…
“GAH!” Twilight shouted as she bolted upright in her bed, covers flying off the as the draconequus suddenly found herself flung back into wakefulness. She looked around quickly, as if expecting something – or somebody – to be there. She was alone in her room though, the dull light from the overcast weather outside coloring the room a muted blue. Stacks of books were scattered around, waiting to be re-shelved into the cases. Twilight glanced to her side, at an oversized lump under the blanket next to her. Slowly, she reached out and grabbed onto the blanket, yanking it away to reveal... one of her pillows.
Twilight sighed as she dropped the blanket, “Stupid dream...” she muttered as she pulled herself out of bed with a shiver. It was a cold morning – how she wished she could just curl back up under her blankets for warmth, cuddle up with…
She gave her head a quick shake as it drifted back to her dream. If only she had lit the fireplace last night – but after all of the work on the crystal, she had just collapsed into bed. She didn't even remember getting under the blankets. If only she could breathe fire like Spike, she could just warm herself up…
...Well, why didn't she just do that?
Twilight took a deep breath before turning her attention inward. She could feel the thousands of threads under the now familiar senses of chaos magic. She could feel a core of power within her, around which all of the strings seemed to wind. She knew how it worked for dragons – raising Spike had made her very familiar with draconian metabiology – so all she needed to was give herself an inner flame like they had.
Without accidentally setting herself on fire.
Right.
Twilight took another deep breath before pulling a thin strand from her core, coiling and twisting it as she pulled it ever so lightly upward before with a not inconsiderable amount of trepidation, willing it to ignite.
Her senses snapped back to normal as she felt a warmth flush through her body. The only thing she could compare it to was the feeling of drinking hot tea after spending all day out in the snow. Twilight took a deep breath before carefully exhaling, a small stream of smoke coming out with it. Encouraged, Twilight took another breath, bringing her hands up as she carefully blew out.
A small stream of flames danced in front of her as it shot from her mouth, the purplish-pink fire radiating waves of warmth across her claws. Twilight watched the flames danced across her claws as they petered out before she gave a little dance, “Yes! Yes! Yes! It worked! And I didn't explode! This is great! I can't-” Her jubilation was cut off as she inhaled a tendril of magical smoke and began to cough.
Her lungs cleared after a few hacks, and she was grateful she didn't accidentally start belching fire. There was already a slightly smoky smell in the air along with...
...was somebody cooking pancakes?
Now that she was no longer dancing about, Twilight realized she could also hear what sounded like singing. Really bad singing.
“-Is waiting to take you away, waiting to take you awaaaay~” there was music going along with the lyrics, and Twilight found herself slowly heading toward it as she padded out of her room and in the direction of the nearest kitchen.
She'd found three so far. Whatever designed the castle must have anticipated Pinkie's party-cake needs. When she finally rounded the last corner to the source of the sound, she stopped at what she saw.
Discord was in the middle of a small flock of moving cooking implements and bowls, a chef's hat on his head as he bobbed back and forth while flipping pancakes out of the pan and onto a passing plate. And he was singing, “I got everything you need~” Discord spun around as he struck some sort of pose, “Satisfaction- Oh,” the music cut out suddenly as he released the pan, letting it float back over to the stove-top as the cooking process continued on its own, “Good morning, my dear Twilight – care for some pancakes?”
Twilight blinked in surprise as a platter stacked with an extremely generous supply of fluffy breakfast items floated into her face, “What? I mean... but- what? What?”
“Pancakes,” Discord repeated, this time more slowly, “Fluffy flat things you cover in syrup? Pinkie can eat a few dozen in one bite?”
“I know what pancakes are!” Twilight nearly shouted before recomposing herself, “I mean, what are you doing?”
Discord blinked at her for a moment, “What are you, stupid?”
“I am not stupid!” Twilight shot back, her limited morning patience fading rapidly. Darn it, she needed coffee before stuff like this!
Oh, coffee – the only one who truly understood her…
“I'm floating a bunch of cooking bowls and batter around in a kitchen,” Discord pointed out, “so – seems like a stupid question to me.”
“He's got a point, you know,” Spike chimed in as he walked past, idly munching down on a large ruby.
Twilight sighed as she just slumped against the nearest counter, “...can I just get some coffee? Please?”
A moment later, she felt the familiar warmth of a full mug slip into her outstretched claw. She looked in surprise to see the unfamiliar mug ('Fools! I will destroy you all! Ask me how!' was written across the side) and Discord grinning down at her.
“One lump or two, princess?” He asked almost too innocently.
“Two,” Twilight replied, “and if you hit me over the head I will feed you your spleen.”
“Oh, you're feisty in the morning!” Discord said with a cackle as he snapped his claw, two cubes of sugar dropping themselves into her cup before a spoon flew over and started to stir.
“Warned you,” Spike replied with a shrug as he finished off his gem, “She's always cranky before her first cup of coffee.”
Twilight glowered at her traitorous assistant before turning her attention back to the coffee at claw. It was from Discord, so there was a non-zero chance it would turn her coat into polka-dots, but – coffee! Daily caffeine requirements beat out trepidation as she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip.
Time and space stopped for a moment as caffeinated perfection rolled across her tongue. She might even cry. It was perfect. The taste was a blend of all the taste and essences that made coffee what it was – and yet she could discern each and every one – perfectly.
“Discord...?” Spike said, seemingly far off as Twilight was lost in brewed perfection.
“Er... I can fix that,” Discord replied before a deafening crash left Twilight's ears ringing.
“Gah! What!? Who-?” Twilight looked around rapidly before she noticed Discord in front of her, holding a pair of cymbals.
“I don't just make coffee,” Discord boasted as he dismissed the cymbals into the aether, “I. Make. Coffee.” He then dumped a small scoop of vanilla into Twilight's mug.
“Why did you do that?!” Twilight recoiled in shock, taking her mug with her – alas, it was too late. The damage was done, “It was...it was.. perfect!”
“I didn't need you blue-screening on me again,” Discord replied, before adding with a smirk, “as much fun as watching you have a religious experience over something of mine is.”
Twilight straightened herself out, take a seat in a nearly chair as she took another sip of the coffee. She bit back a happy sigh – even with the dose of vanilla ruining it, it still tasted incredible, “Spike, what's on the to-do list today?”
“Another survey for chaotic events, I think,” Spike replied as he fished around on the other side of the counter for a moment. This particular kitchen had been decorated by Pinkie, it seemed – candy themed decor was scattered around the room, including the central island they were all seated at for the moment. A bird-shaped clock hung on one wall, singing a little tune at the top of the hour. The cheerful color scheme worked well, given that unlike the main kitchen this one lacked any real windows, “-ah, found it!” Spike reemerged with a scroll in claw, quickly unfurling it and scanning it over, “-yup. You wanted to see if the fnord levels were normalizing now that the shrubbery was gone. Mayor Mare was also asking if you could start helping with some event planning – there's a cultural festival in a few weeks she's hoping you could take point on. Princess Celestia sent a letter this morning,” Spike held up the scroll in question, “she's glad you're alright – also wondering if you were willing to start your diplomatic duties again.”
“So, no more all-day science,” Twilight said with a sigh as she levitated the scroll over and started to read it, a small smile crossing her face as she did. It was nice knowing that her former mentor still worried about her – even if she did, occasionally, over-worry. It seemed in this case, though, Celestia was going to trust her. The duties though... “guess the vacation’s over,” Twilight said with a sigh as she set the letter aside.
“We were on vacation?” Spike asked incredulously, “I thought we were nearly ruining reality... again.”
“Sounds like Celestia is finally starting to trust me,” Discord said as he lounged back in his chair, “must have been the flowers – mares love flowers.”
“Or she trusts me to handle you,” Twilight replied as she continued to read the letter, and found herself resisting the urge to sigh as she did. Princess Celestia seemed very willing to help if the need arose – and that seemed to be something she was expecting quite soon. “...Though not as much as I thought, it seems. I don't know why she doesn't trust me...” Twilight said with a sigh as she set the scroll aside.
“She trusts you just fine,” Discord replied as he dropped a plate stacked with pancakes in front of the princess, “It's me she doesn't like – I turned you into a draconequus, remember?”
“But I did that,” Twilight replied as she levitated over the syrup, “and she knows that.”
“Her precious student is suddenly turned into a copy of one of... what? Five beings to ever threaten her ponies? Not to mention I'm the only one she ever had a personal grudge with – and I'm directly connected to your condition. You really think she's going to be rational about any of this?”
“That... makes a lot of sense...” Twilight said reluctantly, “but this is Princess Celestia we're talking about! She's... she's...”
“Welcome to the world of demigods,” Discord replied with a shrug, “We aren't perfect – now eat your breakfast. We've got a long day ahead of us and I did not slave over a stove for it to go to waste!”
“What's this 'we' stuff Discord?” Twilight replied as she raised an eyebrow but began slicing her stack all the same, “and magic-animated utensils don't count as 'slaving'.”
“To the former,” Discord started, “are you going to let me stay here by myself all day?”
The image of Discord running amok in her laboratory appeared in her mind, destroying beakers, de-calibrating systems and leaving her books unalphabetized, “No!” Twilight quickly replied with a hint of panic.
“So, I can't stay here,” Discord reiterated, “and I won't get anything productive done if I go back to dear Fluttershy's – so I suppose that leaves helping you for the day.”
Twilight gaped for a moment at the sudden show of consideration from the lord of chaos, before snapping her jaw shut and giving him a scrutinizing glare, “Not sure if you're being sarcastic, or setting me up for something...”
“Let me put you at ease, Twilight,” Discord replied with a smirk, “I'm always setting you up for something. The question you should be asking is if I'm setting you up for something bad.”
“Are you?” Twilight asked.
Discord shrugged as he dropped into a seat across from Twilight with a plate of his own, “Who knows? I don't really see a reason for me to hurt you at this point – it would put a damper on all of our fun together!”
“Right...” Twilight said, unconvinced as Discord began to eat his pancakes with a straw – as in, slurping them up (loudly) like they were a milkshake. At this point, she was fairly certain he was physically incapable of eating normally. Instead of commenting on it, she turned to Spike, “What’s first on our schedule?”
“Meeting with the mayor,” Spike replied as he finished off a gem, “after that – diplomacy stuff, I think?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at that, “You think?”
“All Princess Celestia said in the other letter was that she was going to send somepony from the Crystal Empire to talk about a new rail line today,” Spike explained as he pulled out the scroll in question, “she didn't specify a time.”
“How odd,” Twilight said as she levitated the letter over and gave it a scan. It was, in fact, surprisingly brief, which would be odd if it was anything formal... ah, “She probably means Cadence,” Twilight concluded as she dropped the paper onto her modest pile of correspondence and turned her attention back to her breakfast. Cadence visited... well, not all the time, but often enough that it wasn't really noteworthy. No more notable when she visited the Crystal Empire, she supposed.
“Sounds like a plan!” Discord said as he finished his breakfast, tossing the now empty plate over his shoulder and straight into a waiting sink-full of water and soap. Twilight half expected some score cards to pop up, “I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it!”
“Okay, now I know you're being sarcastic,” Twilight said as she started to eat, “If you're that bored – clean the castle,” Twilight took a few bites of her pancakes, washing them down with some of the almost-perfect coffee, before turning to Spike and saying, “And make sure he actually cleans the castle and doesn't, you know – do his usual thing.”
“On it,” Spike said with a sigh as he jumped off his seat, “how am I supposed to control him again?”
“Use your imagination,” Twilight replied as she stabbed another slice of pancakes, “I'm sure my number one assistant can think of something.”
“Hrm...” Spike paused, stroking his chin before turning to Twilight with a quirked eyebrow, “do I have your backing on anything?”
“...probably,” Twilight replied after a small pause.
“Perfect,” Spike turned back to Discord with a grin, “I guess you'll want to behave unless you want Princess Celestia to see those letters.”
Discord and Twilight blinked in confusion, “What letters?” they both asked in perfect synchronicity.
The grin Spike was directing at Discord just widened.
“...Oh, you little,” Discord's gaze narrowed as he stared down the young drake, “you are good.”
“What can I say?” Spike replied smugly as the two walked out of the kitchen, “I'm just that awesome.”
Twilight's eyebrow inched upward until she was certain it was going to depart her face as she watched the pair leave. Had Spike just... blackmailed Discord? And it worked?
She wasn't sure if she should be proud or mortified. For the moment, she settled on the former as she set about finishing her breakfast.
It didn't take her long to finish, and the lack of horrible noises from further inside the castle were a good sign – she hoped. What she did hear, however, were faint voices. Her castle, if nothing else, had amazing acoustics, which meant that sounds carried remarkably well.
Hrm... she wondered what the resonant frequency of her castle was. Or Canterlot Castle. Hrm... Was it possible to vibrate Canterlot Mountain apart?
Thought experiment for another time, she supposed – she didn't have time to pull out a chalk board and run the numbers. She had meetings to get to, after all. Instead, she followed the voices until she found her number one assistant and current advisor on chaos matters sorting out stacks in her 'arrivals' room.
After the Golden Oaks Library... blew up, she'd been working on rebuilding the book collection. And, given that a good chunk of her new abode was shelving space, she saw no reason not to expand while she was at it.
The fact that Princess Celestia had given her full access to the entire Equestrian Library System had nothing to do with it. Not at all.
With only her and Spike though, getting all of those books shelved took time. Until then, they waited in the arrivals room. What had been a dizzying array of book piles was now a neat forest of book stacks, with Discord sitting atop one as Spike tossed him books, “I'm telling you – Mare-do-well can beat anyone, given enough prep time – Yakistani poetry,”
Discord gave a small snort as he grabbed the book mid-arc, a flick of his wrist sending it gliding over to an nearby stack, “She's just a over-hyped ninja. Mistress Mare-velous has staying power – and she can think on her hooves.”
“What are you two doing?” Twilight asked as she looked between the two, trying to figure out what made Spike think throwing books around like that was reasonable.
“Trying to educate this young drake-” Whatever Discord was going to say was cut off as another book hit him in the side of the head, sending him rocking backward off his perch and toward the floor where he landed with a muted 'thump', “Motherbucker! You hit me in the ear!”
“Well, jeez,” Spike started to apologize as Discord pulled himself back up, rubbing one side of his head, “I'm sorry.”
“Ow, sweet Celestia...” Discord grumbled, “Why the ear man?”
“How about 'why are you throwing books around'?” Twilight cut in, her glare shifting to confusion as she looked around at the stacks filling the room, “and how did you do all of this so fast?”
“Magic,” Discord replied with a shrug, “The only ones left are the ones that wouldn't cooperate. Those preservation spells don't play nice, you know.”
“Well, assuming all of my books are still intact,” A sharp stare at both of them made clear that unpleasant consequences would be coming if they weren't intact, “we have a meeting at town hall to get to, right Spike?”
“The park ground, actually,” Spike replied, “The mayor is really keen on making this work – especially with tourist season coming.”
Discord blinked, “Ponyville has a tourist season?”
“To quote Mayor Mare at last meeting,” Twilight replied, “Not yet. Between my castle, cider season and the Everfree I can see why she thinks she could make it work.”
At the mention of the Everfree, Spike and Discord began to debate whether the place qualified as a potential tourist attraction or more literal tourist trap as the trio made their way toward the park ground. One advantage Ponyville had to many other towns of similar size was that, given its proximity to the Everfree, land was not only far cheaper than you'd expect for a place so close to the capital but also much less demanded. This gave them plenty of space for wide-open green spaces, such as the park ground.
What was usually a wide open field was currently occupied by a half-built stage and the starting of a small sea of tents. “How very... green,” Discord commented as they surveyed the scene before them.
“Luckily the shrubbery didn't cause any permanent damage to the town,” Twilight replied as she squinted, scanning the field for any sign of the mayor, “just a lot of panic.”
“Could still use some more color,” Discord replied with a shrug, “Maybe the flowers – Ah! That reminds me,” Discord snapped his claw and an instant later a bloom of poison joke appeared, “for you – a favorite, if I recall. hrm, no lapel for you to pin it to – maybe if we put you in a suit...”
“I think I can manage, Discord,” Twilight replied as she took the blue flower, checking to make sure it was properly neutralized before tucking it behind her ear. No reason to mess with the mayor's mane color – she already did that herself, “Anything else you want to do to me?”
“Careful, Twilight,” Discord replied with a smirk, “if you keep talking like that I might not be able to restrain myself – and we wouldn't want to make a scene in public.”
Spike groaned as he brought a claw up to his face, “Uh, phrasing!”
“You make enough of a scene in private,” Twilight grumbled as she finally spotted the mayor's dyed silver mane and started toward it, “I'm just glad the castle seems to be sound-proofed or the neighbors might hear the screaming.”
“Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore?” Spike nearly shouted as his other claw joined the first and cradled his head as he walked, “and... yep, now that image is in my head. Ew, ew, ew – I need brain bleach.”
“I can get you a bulk discount,” Discord said, grinning at the drake as he elbowed him, “given what's coming...”
“What's coming now?” Discord and Spike looked up to see the mayor approaching, giving a quick greeting to Twilight before turning back to Discord and the dragon.
“Just Twilight,” Discord said with a shrug, “but it was your idea Mayor, so you knew that.”
“Gah!” Spike threw his claws up and started stomping away, “I'll be quality-checking the doughnut stand if anypony needs me.”
The mayor and both draconequi watched Spike storm off before Mayor Mare turned to Twilight, “What's wrong with him?”
“Extended Discord Exposure,” Twilight said with a sigh, “Sadly, there's no known cure.”
“Oh, you know you love me,” Discord replied as he draped himself around Twilight's neck, “just admit it and then we can all move on with our lives.”
“What I know is that you drove my assistant to go seek a sugar-induced coma,” Twilight said as she pulled Discord's arms from around her, “So you'll be filling in for him for the time being.”
Discord gave a sharp salute as an equally sharp, charcoal-gray suit appeared around him, complete with glasses, “I live to serve, milady,” Twilight raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of attire – compared to his usual preference for garish orange and ridiculous cuts, the conservative look actually looked pretty good on him…
Twilight gave her head a quick shake before turning her gaze back to Discord, “Seems conservative for you.”
“Being crazy gets boring after a while,” Discord replied as he casually cleaned his glasses with part of his coat, “Well – let's get going. I'd like to get this done before Rarity realizes her spectacles are missing.”
Twilight thought they'd looked familiar, “Right,” Twilight sighed before turning to the mayor with a smile. “sorry about that, Mayor – where do you want to start?”
“Right...” The mayor gave Discord a nervous glance before focusing on Twilight, “Well, the Carrot's are taking care of catering, and the merchant stalls are already on their way up,” she waved a hoof at the sea of colorful half-erected tents around them, “so the major concern in the long-run is going to be logistics, but right now I'm worried about the calliope.”
Twilight blinked owlishly as she followed the mayor, “Ponyville has a calliope?”
They rounded one more turn as the mayor gestured grandly to the object resting at the center of the clearing, “Behold – the Silverodeon! Once the finest music machines this side of Canterlot,” The mayor dropped her hoof with a sigh, “Now it's one huge mess – and it's all yours.”
“You've got to be joking! This thing is a disaster!” Twilight exclaimed as examined the alleged instrument. What had once possibly been a magnificent collection of pipes, valves and whistles mounted on carriage was now little more than a pile of twisted metal and wood scraps.
“Be we're all so fond of it,” the Mayor said, imploringly, “Couldn't you try?”
Twilight gave the nearest piece a poke and the entire pile shifted, “What in Equestria happened to it?”
"Well,” the mayor explained, “We think it was during the panic from the tree-”
“Shrubbery,” Twilight corrected.
“-Shrubbery,” the mayor continued, “but to be honest we aren't sure – it's been so long since we had reason to pull it out...”
“Right,” Twilight said with a sigh as she crouched lower, pulling open a panel on the side and crawling inside, “Huh – wood fueled boiler?”
“Ponyville hasn't always had as many unicorns as it does now,” Mayor Mare replied with a shrug, “magic wasn't a real option.”
“Well it is now!” Twilight replied, the confined space she was in hiding some of the excitement creeping into her voice. She had a new project, and unlike so many others this one was short-term! “Discord, take note – I'll need a spell core to replace the steam system, a three-seventeenth left-leaning occipital Heterodyne wrench, a left-hooved Lurning wrench, two hinge clackers, twenty-seven meters of brass sheeting and my entire telescope mounting repair kit.”
The mayor blinked at that, “How would that help?”
“Have you seen this girl's telescope?” Discord replied flatly as he pulled a pencil from behind one ear as he gained a white dress shirt and black vest, along with the matching bow-tie and mustache, “Let's see, mademoiselle – that was one spell core, two wrenches, a pair of thingamabobs, a pile of metal and the box, noi?”
“Perfect,” Twilight replied as she finally emerged from the guts of the machine with a large oblong pressure-vessel in claw, “wow – this is so much easier with prehensile digits. Also, your fancy is terrible.”
“Hmph,” Discord said as he turned up his nose, the look of indignation lasting approximately half a heartbeat before his composure failed and shifted into a smirk, “Like you could do better?”
“Language lessons later,” Twilight replied as she dismissed him with a wave of his claws, “engineering now – Tools! Go!”
Discord arched an eyebrow as he watched Twilight inspect the object in her claws, “and what are you going to do?”
“Test this,” Twilight replied as she released the vessel, letting it float before her as she cracked her claws, a slightly manic grin growing on her face, “stand back! I'm going to try SCIENCE!”
“What does that-” Mayor Mare started before finding herself pulled to the side by Discord.
“Trust me,” Discord said, adjusting his beret as his mustache morphed from long and black to bushy and blonde, “this is going to require blast-shields,” a snap of his claws and a wall of transparent barricades assembled themselves in front of the pair, “Remember foals – don't try this at home unless you're a magical princess and-dash-or a lord of chaos.”
The mayor was about to ask Discord something – likely who he was talking to, given the empty state of the field save for the three of them – when a bright glow drew her attention back to Twilight.
The princess was now staring intently at the pressure vessel that hung in the air before her, forepaws outstretched as the vessel gently rumbled. Slowly, the shaking grew more intense, the vessel vibrating almost into a blur before suddenly going stalk-still, “Hah!” Twilight explained, “Still go-”
And then the bottom of the vessel burst off, sending the rest of the piece rocketing off like a low-level shooting star and zipped across the clearing as little more than a blur. The hyper-accelerated chunk of metal whistled through the air, skipping off the ground in a cloud of dust as it sailed past tents that were, thankfully, empty this early in the morning.
So it was, of course, when somepony decided to come around the corner, “Excuse me, I was told that I could find Princess Twi-” The orange pegasus had just enough time for his eyes to go wide before the impromptu projectile hit him square in the face.
Guard armor wasn't rated for speeding boiler impacts, it seemed.