//------------------------------// // 31: First Night of Drinking // Story: The Games We are Forced to Play // by Kablam Pony //------------------------------// Connor Their hooves softly kicked up dust behind them as the trio made their way back down the main market street while the sun set into the distance. The setting sun’s rays cast the town of Appleloosa in a fiery red and orange color while the day shoppers finished up their errands and the night time goers started to fill the streets. A few lamps were lit down the street in preparation of the night as Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Connor approached the saloon. Piano music could be heard dancing out of the swinging front doors as loud shouting and laughter bellowed out from the guests inside. Despite it being late in the evening, the saloon sounded like it was packed. Several ponies moved back and forth behind the dingy windows of the saloon and a shrill whistle screamed from inside. Rainbow Dash pushed open the doors and walked inside with Connor and Fluttershy following behind her. The noise levels from outside only told part of the story to how packed the saloon was. Tables were filled to max with waitresses running between chairs and tipsy ponies to take orders and deliver drinks. Ponies of all sizes sat were with friends telling jokes and talking about their day with drinks and cards covering many of the tables they sat at. The only clear pathway was a straight line to the bar with three stools miraculously still open. Rainbow pointed to the open seats at the bar and shouted to be heard over most of the noise. “Let’s sit over there!” Connor looked to where she was pointing and nodded, then motioned for Fluttershy to follow. The three quickly took a seat on the open bar stools and waited for the bar tender to come by and take their orders. Connor took the middle open seat while Fluttershy sat in the stool to Connor’s left and Rainbow Dash took the seat on his right. The ponies around them were becoming rowdier as the drinks began to set in while the sun fully set outside. The air inside was hot and smelled of sweat, but lacked the distinct scent of alcohol. Connor didn’t notice this as he was too busy with being excited about bypassing the drinking laws from his world and finally be able to get a hard drink without getting in trouble for it. A few moments later, a gruff looking pony wearing a black vest with white stitching stopped in front of them. He wore a stern face beneath his thick mustache and seemed to slightly glare at his new patrons for the night. Connor inferred that this pony must have seen enough bar fights, and participated in enough bar fights, that he did not want to mess with him. But Connor didn’t mind the glare; so long as he kept himself out of trouble, he wouldn’t have to deal with him. The bar tender leaned one of his elbows on the dark Oakwood counter and grunted, “What can I do y’for, tonight?” Connor eagerly answered with a drink he had been wanting to try back home. “I’ll take a shot of whiskey.” The bar tender gave him a puzzled look, “Whiskey? I’ve never heard of a drink like that.” The news slightly disheartened Connor, but he came back with another drink to try. “Okay, how about tequila? Do you have any of that?” The bar tender answered again with arching an eyebrow. Connor was feeling a little self-conscious about his requests, but soldiered on with trying to find some drink he knew from his world that they might serve. “Uhm, what about rum? Scotch? Maybe vodka? You have to have at least beer, right?” he asked hopefully. The pony gave an irritated sigh, “Son, I don’t know where you are from, but I’ve never even heard of any of those things. Down here, we don’t have any of those fancy city drinks; we serve ‘Rocks on the sea’.” Connor was taken aback. “Not even beer?! What kind of saloon is this?” “Uh, alright, we’ll take three ‘Rocks on the sea’, please!” The pony nodded and turned away to make their drinks. As the bar tender left, Connor eyes followed him until they drifted to Rainbow sitting on his right. She was watching the bar tender pony leave with some anticipation smiling on the edge of her lips. Connor nudged her and ask, “Hey Rainbow, what are ‘Rocks on the sea’?” Rainbow turned back with an excited twinkle in her eye, “Trust me, you are going to love it. I think even you could handle a handful of those drinks.” Connor just raised a skeptical eyebrow at her but remained silent. He had never really gone out drinking before, but he was sure he could probably handle more than just a handful of drinks. He waited patiently for their drinks to arrive and passed the time observing the rest of the ponies who were drinking and having a good time in the saloon. Chatter filled the floor and there were already a few stumbling ponies tripping over chairs or their own hooves. Friends pointed and laughed while they tried to leave or were escorted out by sympathetic bystander ponies. Rainbow tapped Connor on his shoulder to get his attention and he whipped around to see what she wanted. Rainbow Dash pointed at the bar tender returning with three large and tall glasses set on a tray balanced on his back. He stopped in front of them and placed the three glasses filled with a clear liquid before each of them followed by a small white cube next to each glass. Rainbow waved a thanks and the pony nodded before walking away. Connor gave his drink and cube a baffled look. He nudged the white cube with his hoof unsure of what it was made of. The cube gave no reaction to his touch. He moved his investigations to the glass set in front of him and brought it to his nose to smell. It certainly didn’t smell of alcohol as he breathed in the drink. He set the cup down and picked up the cube and brought it to his lips to feel the texture and smell it. The cube felt grainy against his lips like tiny Rocks grinding his skin, but held no distinct smell either. He set the cube down and looked at Rainbow Dash with perplexed disgruntlement. “Alright Rainbow, what is this? What’s this cube for?” Rainbow Dash stopped her licking of her lips and looked at Connor. “The cube? That’s a salt cube and you’re supposed to eat it.” “A salt cube?” he repeated. He looked back down at the cube and picked it up again. He stuck his tongue out and licked one side of the cube once. Sure enough, the cube had the familiar dry taste of salt. He set the salt cube back down on the counter and glanced at the cup filled with the clear liquid. Curiosity and dread filled the front of his mind as he picked it up and tipped the liquid into his waiting mouth. A few drops fell down his tongue and throat and he instantly recognized the liquid as water. He set the drink back down and stared at it with disappointed shock. Not a single drop in his cup had a hint of alcohol. Connor couldn’t believe what he had; a large glass a water and a small salt cube on the side. His disappointment and irritation started to boil as he stared longer at the drink and salt cube. “What the heck am I supposed to do with this?!” he asked loudly while throwing his arms in the air. “Well, you can lick the salt cube, you can suck on it, you can eat it then drink your glass, you can dissolve it in your glass then drink it, you can bite the cube in half, drink half of your cup, eat the rest of the cube, then finish the rest of your drink, you can put the cube in your mouth then drink your glass and eat what is left of your cube…” Connor and Rainbow Dash did a double take as Fluttershy listed off the many ways a pony could enjoy this drink. Connor leaned back from Fluttershy eyes wide in surprise while Rainbow Dash had to lean forward to gape and stare at her. “How do you know all of that, Fluttershy?!” Rainbow asked still gaping at her. Fluttershy blew a bit of hair out of her face while glancing at the two out of the corner of her eye, “Well, the last time we all came to Appleloosa, you, Applejack and Pinkie Pie took me to the saloon and started having fun. And since I had never been out like this before now, you all explained to me how a pony could drink ‘Rocks on the sea’.” “But how do you remember all of that? I was there and I barely remember that night!” “Well, you all decided to have a drinking contest with each other to see who could have the most drinks. It came down between Applejack and Rainbow Dash to see who could finish their ninth glass. By the time we finished, Twilight had to come and carry you all back to the train so you wouldn’t get left behind.” “Oh,” Rainbow said accepting the explanation. She sat back down unusually quiet thinking about the tale Fluttershy just told while Connor glanced between both of them. “These ponies are weird,” Connor thought to himself. “Welp, these glasses are going to empty themselves!” Rainbow grabbed her glass, “Bottom’s up!” “Wait a minute!” Connor stopped Rainbow before she could start, “That’s just water and a salt cube!” She picked up her cube and bit it into two, chewing one piece while she dropped the other in the cup. “Yeah, so?” she asked with her cube crunching in her mouth. “If it’s just water and a salt cube, then how are you ponies supposed to get dru- ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh…” The term ‘Over hydration’ came to mind as the gears finally clicked in his head. The use of salt to dry out the mouth and create a feeling of dehydration followed by the very large glasses of water could potentially overload the system with excess water to create a feeling of intoxication without the use of alcohol. It was a genius idea of tricking customers into getting drunk with just water and make easy money, but it infuriated Connor as he would not get any kind of buzz tonight. Connor put his elbow on the counter and his head in his hoof and growled angrily at the realization that he wasn’t going to get drunk tonight. Rainbow Dash gave him a funny look not understanding his silent dilemma, so she shrugged and went back to downing the rest of her drink. Connor hatefully picked up his own salt cube to glare at it before he stuck it in his mouth to suck on while Fluttershy daintily licked her own salt cube between her hooves. “This is so stupid. I’m wasting money on buying stupid stuff like salt cubes and tall glasses of water that I can get for free. I could be spending my money on other things right now that would be better than this.” Connor already knew that wasting money wasn’t really a big issue for him since he had thousands of bits waiting in a bank account back in Ponyville; but it was the principal of wasting money that he didn’t like. He was always frugal with his money and only used it when he found something that he needed, or absolutely wanted. He didn’t like spending money on things if he wasn’t sure he was going to use it or need it. He spat out his cube onto his hoof take a sip of water to wet his mouth before the cube returned to the insides of his mouth again. Rainbow was already having a good time and had ordered another ‘Rocks of the sea’ for herself after she finished her first one. The sounds of laughter and good times being made only upset Connor more as he sat there at the bar. He found no excitement in getting wasted with water and he found those ponies having fun with it to be stupid. It was going to be a long and boring night here in the saloon for Connor. ~~~ The three of them sat there at the bar for over an hour and a half drinking. Even though lots of ponies were giggling and stumbling around like fools, Connor was the only one not partaking in their water intoxication. Rainbow Dash was plastered in her seat and giggling incomprehensibly while Fluttershy was swaying just as hard in her own seat. The final count of drinks were as follows: Connor with only two drinks, but he obviously wasn’t trying very hard to see how many tall glasses of water he could drink. Rainbow Dash had almost six and a half drinks and was in danger of falling out of her seat; but she kept saying she could do one more drink. Fluttershy was sitting on a whole half of a drink and was currently resting her arms and head on the counter top so she wouldn’t fall backwards. It was mostly bearable with just sitting there wasting his time and watching Rainbow drink glass after glass of ‘Rocks of the sea’ and taking her salt in different ways. But it became ridiculous when Rainbow Dash started asking her drunk questions. “Connor, I know we’ve only known each other for a few weeks or so, but I have to ask you; do you love me?” she slurred out. Connor sighed heavily in his seat, “No Rainbow, I don’t.” She gave a mighty sway and landed with her head resting on his shoulder. “Aww, that sucks; because if it were me, I would want to go out with me. But really, I didn’t know you had a thing for Twilight and Rarity.” Her words slurred heavily between each syllable she managed to get out. Connor raised his left free hoof and planted his head in it. “Oh my gob, Rainbow.” Rainbow Dash rotated her head so only her chin was resting on Connor’s shoulder but was completely facing him now. “Then Pinkie Pie? Maybe Fluttershy?” Connor shoved Rainbow off his shoulder with an aggravated groan and downed the rest of his water still left in his glass. Rainbow Dash rocked back in her seat catching herself on the counter so she wouldn’t fall over. She then put an apologetic hoof. “Sorry; Applejack.” “Okay then! I think it’s time we leave and head back to our room!” Connor hopped off the bar stool and turned around to watch Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy debate on how they would get down. Rainbow Dash nearly fell out of her chair, but manage to get her hooves underneath her. But her sense of balance was completely off and she soon started careening into a nearby table. Connor manage to catch her before she disturbed the ponies sitting at the table and pulled her into his side to secure her with his wing. She was still giggling that drunken giggle as she leaned heavily into his side. For a pony of her size, Rainbow was surprisingly heavy. He grabbed his bag of bits and tossed a good amount onto the bar counter to pay for everyone’s drinks as Fluttershy struggled to get out of her own chair. Her back hoof reached out to feel the ground below while she still hung onto the bar. She finally climbed off her stool and stood there on the floor trying to regain her balance; but Connor could see her tipping and he reached out with his hoof to catch her. Apparently, his wing was thinking the same thing as his other wing shot out and hooked around her side and reeled her in to safety. Thankfully, Fluttershy was a lightweight in more ways than one and Connor didn’t have to work too hard to control her. Once both mares were secured under his wings he turned them around to face the door. All Connor had to do was march them out the doors and back to the inn where he could have the mares sleep off their stupors. It should be an easy task for him since he was the sober one and the inn wasn’t that far from the saloon. However, he didn’t realize that every pony in the room was watching as he began making his way to the doors. And soon, chanting and cat calls began ringing throughout the room. “Whoa there, cowpony! You sure you can handle those two mares at the same time?” “Looks like somepony is getting somethin’ special tonight, ye ye!” “Woo, look at that stallion go! Getting two mares at the same time? Be sure to be gentle with them ladies when you take them home! Ha ha!” Connor’s anger was reaching to a boiling now. After his complete and utter disappointment of no alcohol, the pointless drinking, having two drunken mares to take care of right now, the annoying cat calling from the ponies around him, and his incredible need to use the bathroom very soon, he was ready to snap. And the more he listened to the chanting, the worse his mood got. Thankfully, he managed to get to the doors that lead to the outside world and was about to push them open to leave when one last nasty call echoed across the floor. “Looks like the pony from out of town is going to get his first rodeo here in Appleloosa! You best not pull too hard on the reins or you just might pull their manes out!” Connor whipped his head around his shoulder and snarled, “You shut your mouth before I make you eat your teeth and pull your tail hairs out through your fog, bam nose!!” The room went deadly silent; even the piano that had been playing the entire time he had been in the saloon stopped. The only noise came from the streets outside the doors and windows. The ponies stared at Connor incredulously and unsure how to proceed from their current stand still. Connor however was giving every pony he could see the angriest look he could. If he heard one more taunt come from any one of them, he was going to drop everything and start committing atrocious acts of violence against them all. They smartly remained quiet and Connor snorted as he turned back to the doors and kicked them open. He stomped out into the night time streets and took a steadying breath glad that he was out of there. Rainbow was still giggling and fighting to get out of her restraining wing while Fluttershy looked woozy and ready to fall over. Connor sighed at his ridiculous situation and wondered how he got himself into this. “Oh wait, this whole thing was my idea…. Muck…” Connor mentally kicked himself but refocused on his current task on getting everyone back to their beds. The walk back to the inn went uninterrupted from the time they left the saloon until they got to the inn again. Connor thanked his luck that he didn’t have to deal with any more complications and hurried to get Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy up to their room for some well needed sleep. They spent a few minutes trying to get each other to climb the stairs without tumbling down them and soon found themselves standing in front of their room. Connor pushed it opened and ushered them inside. Once inside, Connor shut the door and put the two mares to bed. He practically tossed Rainbow into her own bed while he gently nudged Fluttershy into hers. They both nearly passed out as soon as their heads hit the pillow and Connor place a bucket beside each of their beds just in case. With Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash taken care of. He rushed off to the bathroom to take care of himself. When he finally came back, Connor let himself flop into his own bed to sleep. The beginning of the day had gone so well compared to now. He was having a good time here in Appleloosa when he arrived and enjoyed listening to Braeburn go on about the history behind the town; and now he found out that this world doesn’t have any kind of liquor or beer that he knew of and he had two mares sleeping off their drunken state. “Maybe Twilight is having a better night than me…” He rolled over on his bed and closed his eyes hoping to sleep off the rest of the night, but a powerful snore from Rainbow Dash woke him back up. Connor groaned; he was too tired to get up and try to muffle her and he just wanted the night to end. It seemed his night was not over yet as he was forced to listen to Rainbow’s snoring for the next two hours while he tried to fall asleep himself.