//------------------------------//
// Chapter Forty-Two: A Con by any Other Name 
// Story: A Journey Beyond Sanity 
// by Darkwing Dust 
//------------------------------//

Just when I thought nothing about these ponies could surprise me anymore. When it was believed nothing about these species could further baffle me to no end; I was abruptly woken up followed by the most startling and justifiably baffling revelation.

Ponies were alcoholic. Who knew?

"Again, there's nothing wrong with cider." Twilight protested repetitively, having dragged me out of bed to the front door. It was about three A.M in the morning, yet the unicorn was already hyped to depart, "It's an amazing drink that does wonders to the body."

"Oh, I imagine so." I retorted after yawning loudly, rubbing my eyes against the offensive light of the room. Apparently Sweet Apple Acres had their own annual cider season, fresh from squashing apples themselves and turning them into an alcoholic drink. "I don't drink that kind of stuff, Twilight. Cider's no exception."

"Oh come on Jack. You'll love it." The persistent mare said with an exasperated smile, whilst magically folding a tent and resting the contents under Spike's tired shoulder. Poor kid, having woken up just like me for something as trivial as this. "Who knows, maybe the taste of cider will be different than that back on your world."

As if that was in any way tempting. "I'm not taking any chances." Was my final response, gesturing to the open door, where Spike was patiently waiting. "Go, camp out then, if this cider's so apparently good. But I won't be joining you."

Twilight shook her head, violet eyes reflecting slight annoyance while her muzzle twitched. "All right. Then I'll bring some back with me for you to try. I'm not giving up on you yet, Jack."

"I'm flattered, my dear."

"At least you're awake enough for sarcasm." Rolling her eyes in good nature, the enthusiastic unicorn turned to depart with the exhausted dragon, who yawned loudly. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Have fun." Was my dry farewell before the red door shut after Twilight's now absent presence.

Shaking my tired head, I immediately prioritized to returning to the warm comforting mattress of my bed. From what my slow-processing mind gathered, the entirety of the townsfolk were camping out this very night right next to Applejack's farm, as all wanted a taste of the alcoholic sustenance. Why, what a fantastic message to kids, wouldn't you say?

God forbid I allow a child to drink anything like that...

Oh right, Spike just left with Twilight for the cider...

Oops.



 

On the bright side, thanks to the concerning tastes for cider this town's residents seemed to have, the whole town was rather empty. I barely noticed anyone while walking through Ponyville the following afternoon. But the more I dwelled on the absence of Ponyville's population, the more I shook my head in disbelief.

It was ludicrous. Completely nonsensical. Why would Hasbro have its ponies desire the taste of an alcoholic sustenance? Just what were they thinking? Okay, maybe Applejack and her family hasn't got any of the required ingredients to make the cider alcoholic, but this was NOT an okay message to kids. Alcohol - cider being no exception - was not good for anyone.

So what gives?

Dreadfully, I imagined the library carrying the scent of the drink when Twilight and Spike return home. If that's the case, I'll camp out on my reserved hill until the smell disappeared completely. I don't drink, and they won't change my mind.

You know, accepting Miss Sparkle's invitation would have been another chance to improve your friendship with the others.

The aged words from the invisible entity appeared from nowhere, causing me to look in surprise. I hate it when he does that. "To drink cider? Not worth it." I replied flippantly. The last thing needed now was a scolding from this unknown voice.

Yet I heard no chiding in his tone, just pure nauseating calmness. Your skepticism is understandable, Jack. But the cider at Sweet Apple Acres is far from alcoholic.

I promptly snorted. "I'm not taking any chances-"

"Stardust?"

...Oh [BEEP].

A familiar grey Earth Pony approached me, inciting a warm chuckle from the elusive Specter. Well well, it seems someone shares your stubbornness against the drink.

"Buzz off." I muttered sourly, prompting a raised brow from the approaching mare.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not you." I reassured the confused mare, shaking my head in irritation. "Just talking to my annoying... conscience."

Yes, that'll do.

"I see..." Was Octavia's skeptic reply, before the Earth Pony smiled gracefully. "It has been a while, has it not? I last recall seeing you at that Canterlot party hosted by Mr. Fancypants."

"Oh?" Yes I remember that party, but this violin-playing mare being there I can't recall. "Forgive me, I don't remember seeing you there myself."

"That is understandable, my dear." Octavia said reassuringly, waving dismissively with a humored expression. "You were quite preoccupied dancing with - or should I say against - Miss Twilight Sparkle." Oh yeah, that was quite entertaining. We both chuckled at the memory, my superior dancing skills making the knowledgeable unicorn's look like child's play. "It seems we both have no desire for cider, am I correct?"

"Indeed." Apparently so. I nodded while rolling my eyes. "Why they love that stuff so much, I have no clue."

"Hmm, I must admit I have a soft spot for the drink personally, but I don't deem waiting in a long line just for a drink to be worthwhile." Octavia said with a graceful shrug, regarding me with those pink eyes.

...You can stop staring now.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Miss Octavia?" I asked, hoping to get her out of my sight as soon as possible. Our last conversation was... revolting, to say the least.

"You remember my name. How splendid." She grinned dazzlingly. "Seeing as how we are two of the few walking among the town, I require some company to keep me entertained. Do you have any spare time, Stardust?"

...Make up an excuse, quickly.

"I'd love to, Miss Octavia, but I'm hardly the pony you'd want as company, much less entertainment."

"Hmm, I doubt that." A shiver ran down my ponified spine at that look she was giving me. Good grief, and I thought you had class, Octavia! The grey mare gestured, and before I could even protest she was already standing beside me, grabbing my right front limb uncomfortably. "Besides, it would be an honour and privilege to learn more about the brave handsome stallion who defied Prince Blueblood."

I trust you wished you had gone with Miss Sparkle and Spike earlier today, now.

Damn you, Specter. I inwardly cursed the humoured voice as the insistent Earth Pony proceeded to basically drag me around town. I blame you for this. 



 

Finally, God decided to grant me mercy and allow me to flee from the grey Earth Pony. After spending an entire tedious and nauseating afternoon with the muzzle-running mare, I managed to sneak away when Octavia was distracted by a nearby instrument shop in the town, returning to the library post-haste as the sun started going down. It wasn't that Octavia was someone to be avoided whenever possible, but her obvious misplaced fascination in me wasn't something I wanted to deal with in the slightest.

That, and the fact she wouldn't shut the [BEEP] about her damn cello. I swear, if I hear one more comment about that godforsaken thing, I'm gonna...

...Jesus.

Rubbing my forehead, I pondered what to do for the rest of the evening. Octavia's excessive ramblings have took their toll on me, so reading was out of the question. I could practice more with that plastic sword, or bake more brownies. Anything really to pass the time... Where was Twilight and Spike, meanwhile?

"Oh, hey Stardust."

...Never mind.

"Arrived back in the evening, I see." I noted dryly, looking behind at the two entering the house. "The cider was that good you had to stay all day?"

"Har har." Twilight rolled her eyes... though her expression seemed troubled.

Spike reflected a similar look, regarding the mare with clear worry. "What are we going to do, Twilight? Applejack's farm is at stake here!"

"The best we can do, Spike, is hope that Applejack, Big Mac, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith win the contest tomorrow." Twilight said reassuringly, effectively calming the nodding dragon.

...Did I miss something?

Catching my expression, Twilight clarified. "Today the Flim Flam brothers arrived at the farm, with a machine which creates perfect cider of its own, and Applejack's family challenged them after the latter refused their offer to share the sales. Whoever makes the most cider tomorrow morning wins."

...I have a few questions, first one being who the [BEEP] the Flim Flam brothers are.

Flim Flam... Flim Flam... Flim Flam... Nope, doesn't ring a bell.

"If Applejack's family wins, the brothers will leave Ponyville," Spike continued for Twilight, "But if the brothers win, then they'll get to sell cider for Cider Season every year instead, which will run Sweet Apple Acres out of business!"

Oh the horror...

"'Out of business...'" I echoed after the two concerned beings were done, shaking my head in ridicule at it all. "'Out of business'. You know, it's amazing how ludicrous this town's lust for that awful drink is, if that's the case."

"The quality of cider isn't something to be underestimated, Stardust." I scoffed loudly at the sincere words of the unicorn. "I'm being serious here! Applejack and her family could very well be in trouble, should those siblings win with that contraption of theirs tomorrow."

Walking beside the two, I shook my head again. "Relax, my dear, I am fully confident Applejack will succeed tomorrow." Because our hard-working orange Earth Pony has the case of the "major-character syndrome"; which makes her impervious to losing against something like this. No way will they lose their farm at this time.

"I'm glad you think that." Twilight said with clear gratitude. "They'll need all the encouragement and faith they can get."

Quite the contrary, my dear, I KNOW they'll win... But, I'm curious. The evening was young, so nothing was stopping me from having a look personally.

"Where are these Flim Flam brothers now?"

"Probably outside the farm, resting on that machine of theirs. Why?"

I nodded, quickly spinning around on the spot towards the exit. "I'm going to pay these siblings a visit. I'm quite interested in seeing this contraption you speak of." Plus, if I see the brothers I might recognize them from somewhere.

"Oh, I'll go with you." Twilight suddenly announced, to my brief pause and raised brow. "I'm curious about the functions of the machine myself. Spike, you go to bed; you'll need to be up early tomorrow, plus you were up late last night."

I shrugged as the unicorn joined me by the door, opening it for the mare with a gesturing bow. "After you, my dear Twilight."

The smiling Twilight bowed humbly. "Why thank you, good sir." I feigned ignorance to the expression Spike sent us a few feet away. 



 

The fascinated purple unicorn led me to the machine without delay, having talked none-stop about the events of today. How first the cider from the farm ran out before the rest of the citizens could have some, which was followed by a mob of complaints, then the Flim Flam brothers arrived with promises of fresh new cider for them all. From the way Twilight was describing them and their actions, I raised a brow as the conclusion formed in my mind.

"They're con artists then."

The unicorn shook her head as we walked upon the dirt pathway towards the forest of apple trees. "It's a little early to assume the worst of them like that. But I have to admit, their arrival during the complaints seemed... pretty coincidental." She said thoughtfully, frowning.

"What puzzles me," I began with a frown of my own as we neared the location, the setting sun now halfway below a far-off mountain. "Is why exactly these siblings chose to do business here, in Ponyville." Surely there were more famous well-populated areas to scam others in?

"I'm guessing they heard that Sweet Apple Acres made the best cider in Equestria, as it was proclaimed." Twilight speculated, before pointing forward with her hoof. "There it is."

And there it was indeed. A few feet away from us stood the red machine the studious unicorn did her best to describe to me earlier. Glass tanks. Wires. A large funnel that was clearly used to place the apples in. This interesting contraption situated atop a mode of transportation.

A very familiar mode of transport. "I recognize the vehicle."

"Hmm?"

"The ride." I clarified, gesturing to the wheels and carriage itself. "It resembles exactly that of an old-fashioned car, from my world."

Twilight's intrigued voice rung in my ears. "You mean, this is what a 'car' looks like?"

"In very old times, yes, before I was even born." We proceeded to inspect the whole thing without touching it. So the Flim Flam brothers invented the first car in Equestria... probably. I'll give them props for that.

It's a shame, they'd make bigger money selling the inventions they create instead of obviously scamming others-

"Well what have we here, brother of mine? Two ponies fascinated with our extraordinary invention?" Came a positive stallion voice.

"Can you honestly blame them, Flim? Anypony would want to look closer at our impressive machine." This other tone was deeper, yet just as enthusiastic.

Gah!

My hooves stumbled back in shock at the two unicorn siblings appearing right the [BEEP] out of nowhere, grinning at us brightly. Light yellow fur, blue and white striped suits, small classy-styled hats, red manes - one of which having white stripes - and tails, light green eyes, and one of the two having a styled mustache.

...Yep, con artists if I ever saw them.

"Oh, excuse us." Twilight composed herself first, having been startled herself by their inexplicable appearance. "We were just curious about how this fascinating machine of yours works. How do the apples get crushed and liquefied in there exactly? What do you do with the rotten apples-?"

"Young lady, we would love to answer all your questions, as we're eager to help out anypony out." The one without the 'stache, Flim, interrupted in a very business-like tone. And to my slight irritation, the stallion wrapped a hoof around Twilight's shoulders. "But we're preoccupied setting everything up for tomorrow's contest. Isn't that right Flam?"

"Yes yes indeed." I winced at the personal contact, the other sibling wrapping his own hoof around me, as though we were close friends or something. "Tell you what, after tomorrow's contest is over, you and your boyfriend here can learn more about how our wonderful contraption works then."

At the mention of that blasphemous word, I grit my teeth. And Twilight beside me blushed brightly. Will it never end?!

"We are not-"

"Stardust is my friend-"

Finally regaining our personal space, the two brothers stood in front of us with playful smirks. "Oh of course there's nothing going on. Do they look like just friends, Flam?"

"Yes, yes they do indeed Flim." The mustache sibling nodded knowingly.

...I will not stand here and be mocked by these laughable con artists.

"If you would just answer my friend's questions-"

"Need we repeat ourselves?" I blinked at the rude interruption, Flim clearly not giving a damn how we feel about it.

"We'll share our secrets after winning against Granny Smith and her family." Flam concluded for his brother.

At the conviction, I raised a brow. "You're confident you'll win?"

Both leaned forwards with their words. "Now don't get us wrong, friend, we're sure they'll do their best."

"But with our Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand, we'll be unbeatable. It's a simple equation, and clear conclusion."

Super Speedy- Oh Christ, give me a break. Ed Edd N' Eddy had more credible names to their scams than these clowns.

"Quite right, brother of mine! Why with our marvelous invention, victory will be as sweet as the cider we make. You can bet on it my friends!"

...Is that so?

"I'll take that bet."

My confident words caused the brothers to pause from turning away, looking back at me in interest. "Come again?"

"You heard me." A smirk lifted on my muzzle, wishing I could fold my arms right now. If they're so absolutely convicted they'll succeed, then I look forward to seeing their expectations crash down before their eyes. And I have just the thing to bet. "I wager my current household. If you win, you can have it. If Applejack's family, wins, you give me the value my house is worth."

I didn't need to imagine the shocked disbelieving look a certain purple unicorn was sending my way.

"Hmm..." Flim said while rubbing his pony chin. "Is this house that valuable?"

"Arguably more valuable than Town Hall."

And it didn't take long for Twilight to stand right in-between the intrigued siblings and I, placing two hoofs on my chest. "Excuse us for a moment." Twilight said rather sweetly before dragging me away, regarding with a heated glare. I blinked at the intensity of it. "Stardust, what do you think you're doing?!"

I shrugged, trying not to show how much her intense stare was affecting me. "Betting."

"Evidently, but with our library!" Twilight hissed, pointing behind her. "To them! The same ponies who are obviously trying to run Applejack and her family out of business! Are you trying to lose my trust?!"

...'Our' library?

"No." I said calmly, trying to reassure the mare my intentions weren't devious.

But Twilight wasn't having any of it. "That library is my home! Spike's home! Owlicious' home! Your home! Why would you attempt to bet it away like that, without my consent?"

Technically it wasn't my home, personally. And hey, if Qui-Gon Jinn can stupidly bet away something essential to him over something, so can I. "Simple."

"...Well?"

"Applejack and her family will win, so there's no need to worry,"

"...THAT'S your reason?" I nodded, taking some amusement out of her disbelief. God, loving the expression on her face right now. Twilight's eyes narrowed dangerously, proceeding to poke my chest. "Of all the- Here I thought you had more sense than to rely on some flimsy logic like that, Jack! Don't you realize how much that place means to me? Have you never regarded the library as your home... at all?"

...God dammit. "Twilight..."

The mare looked away, "Do my - or anyone's - feelings mean nothing to you...?"

"Twilight, look at me. Please." I pleaded as calmly as I could. And thankfully, the mare slowly obliged. Waiting for her doubtful eyes to meet mine, I continued. "I need you to trust me, Twilight. I know what I'm doing. Applejack and her family will emerge triumphant tomorrow, of this I am absolutely certain, so there's no need to worry. For once, I'm asking you to trust me."

It was a lot to ask for, but I was absolutely certain of their victory for the following morning.

"...What makes you so confident Applejack will win tomorrow?" Twilight asked quietly, not even flinching at the hoof I placed on her for comfort. "To the extent of wagering something so precious to me?"

"Twilight... do you honestly believe I care nothing for your feelings?" I asked rhetorically, and before the mare answered I continued with a calm smile. "Of course I care. We're friends, are we not? I wouldn't do this just to spite you, or if it would hurt you. I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise, but I insist you trust me on this. You need to have faith in Applejack's abilities tomorrow."

"I do have faith." Twilight replied determinedly, eyes sparkling sincerely. "But I wouldn't bet my own home for it."

I smirked lightly. "And hey, if they do lose tomorrow, you can punish me in any way you prefer, and I'll accept it without complaint." The worst she can do, anyway, is subject me to hours of torture over herself gushing how 'great' and 'wise' Celestia was.

Besides, Celestia could always get us a new library, if this doesn't work. But that's a very small if.

"...I'll hold you to that." There was a faint trace of amusement in her tone.

"So you agree then?"

"I never said that." Twilight shook her head. "But some absurd, illogical part of me is saying I should trust you on this. Celestia knows why; this bet has to be the worst idea you've ever concocted, Jack."

"Well I'm hardly perfect."

"Clearly." The unicorn sighed, glancing behind at the patient waving siblings. "I don't like this."

"I know." I removed my hoof off her. "But I wouldn't have done this without your presence, Twilight. Your friendship means too much for me to recklessly pull such a stunt without your presence."

For a moment, Twilight didn't respond to those sincere words, which caused me to be concerned. Was she starting to distrust me? Was she beginning to hold disdain over me? Say something. Finally, the unicorn looked back at me, eyes narrowing slightly. "If we do lose this bet tomorrow, I will never, ever, forgive you."

"Noted." I nodded. "But I promise you, Twilight, Sweet Apple Acres will not lose this contest tomorrow."

The corner of her muzzle twitched. "You making a promise. That's new."

"It just shows how confident I am in their abilities, my dear." I shrugged, walking back to the waiting Flim Flam brothers, who were smirking for whatever reason. 



 

Now, it's time for the morning competition between the Flim Flam brothers, and the farmers - what is it with Applejack and contests? - of Sweet Apples Acres. Where myself and the entire town shall witness the excitement and the passion.

That almost ALL the townsfolk have for booze.

The contest was simple; whoever possessed the most amount of cider-filled barrels are the victors. Winner has the rights to sell the town alcoholic beverages, so as you can imagine, the stakes were high.

And [BEEP] ridiculous.

Standing besides Spike and, guess who, Whooves by a large hourglass that shall serve as the timer, we awaited patiently for the Mayor's word to commence. Applejack and her family were preparing themselves for this daunting task up ahead. The con siblings, meanwhile, were resting upon a couch on their machine/mode of transport, clearly relaxed and confident already, as if aware of the outcome.

Hah, as if things worked like that in a show like this.

The reason I even wagered the library in the first place was to see their hopes crumble before my eyes; their arrogance collapsing in itself like a stone building. I imagine we were somewhere during the second season of MLP currently, and I don't recall the determined orange Earth Pony ever losing her farm to anyone, for even a whole episode. Either Applejack succeeds through hard work and effective teamwork with her family, or the Flim Flam brothers win, but their own cider sucks arse compared to the farmer's own; pulling a Spongebob, really.

Either way, I win.

"Attention everypony!" Ah, the aged Earth Pony mayor began her speech. "The teams have one hour to produce as much cider as they can, after which the barrels will be counted and the winner will be named the sole cider provider for all of Ponyville! Are both teams ready?"

"Ready!"

"Ready!"

Get hyped!

"Then let's-" By her gesture, Whooves spun the hourglass over. "- Go!"

Both teams were immediately one the move. Team Apple - name provided by yours truly - was already hard-working and earnest to achieve their goal. Applejack was kicking the tree trunks. Apple Bloom caught the falling red apples with a wooden basket, delivering them to Granny Smith, who, I'm guessing, was checking the quality of the fruit before throwing their own contraption which Macintosh was operating, crushing the apples with a large stone wheel and the juiciness poured out from the tap at the end into a barrel.

...You know, why is it always red apples with these ponies? Why not green apples? Hell, I prefer green apples over red.

The cocky con siblings, meanwhile, were lazily, yet more effectively, getting the job done. Already they've produced up to five barrels without breaking a sweat; their machine doing the work for them while they relaxed on their comfy red couch. Said machine was sucking up the apples from the trees and doing its "magic" with little aid from its operators; I could spot, however, the dark green lighting from one of their horns.

I told Twilight that using magic all the time was short of pure laziness. Here was a classic example.

"Wow, they're not even trying." Spike commented in disbelief.

"That Squeezy Six-Thousand of theirs is a remarkable contraption." Whooves praised in clear admiration. Well, glad to know whose side you're on, Doctor. "I wonder if the quality will be as promising as the quantity."

...Then an idea hit me. Thank you my brown Earth Pony friend.

"You know what they should do?" I began conversationally, gaining the attention of Whooves, Spike and the observant Mayor accompanying us. "There should be a round afterwards where the citizens try out both side's cider, and judge which ones taste better."

"Oh, and they can have a vote afterwards to decide the winner!" Spike chimed in, to my nodding approval. Sound thinking Spike.

"It would be a competition of quality against quantity." Whooves concluded for us, sounding on board with the plan.

As did the Mayor, who looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hmm, well I don't see why not. So far we've yet to try Flim and Flam's cider. I wouldn't want to disappoint my citizens otherwise." The aged beige-coloured mare smiled and nodded. "Yes, after the hour is up, we shall have a second round immediately entailing your ideas. Good thinking, the three of you."

The praise brought a smirk to my muzzle, as I imagined the dragon and other Earth Pony between me smiled bashfully at receiving compliments from Ponyville's leading authority.

Ten barrels... Twenty barrels... Twenty-five...

The speed the brother's machine was going through was quite unnerving, if I'm being honest. Already I was beginning to have doubts about making that stupid bet last night...

"Um, Miss Mayor!" Our attention fixed on the approaching Twilight, who looked quite nervous herself. Not that I can blame her. "Are honourary family members allowed to help in the competition?" Behind her were the rest of the Mane Six, who expressed willingness to assist their hard-working friend.

"Well, I'm not sure..." The Mayor replied thoughtfully, addressing the confident brothers. "Flim, Flam. Would you object to honourary family members helping?"

"Are you kidding?" Dat arrogance.

"We don't care if the whole Canterlot kingdom helps; it's a lost cause."

So you think...

"I guess it's okay." The Mayor concluded, "Applejack, what do you think?"

The clearly exhausted mare took a moment from kicking another tree, looking at us tiredly, "I think I'd love to have the rest of my family helpin' out."

...Cute.

The rest of the Mane Six happily obliged, quickly setting themselves to work to assist the farmers. Fluttershy helped Applejack with the trees. Pinkie Pie helped Apple Bloom with catching and delivering the apples. Rarity helped Granny Smith over checking the quality of the apples. Rainbow Dash aided Macintosh with running the contraption, literally. And Twilight replaced the filled barrels with the next empty ones when full.

"Behold, Spike." I gestured proudly to the working equines. "Teamwork at its finest; something those con siblings nearby don't appreciate."

"Hear hear!" The dragon concurred, cheering in encouragement. "Go Twilight! Go everypony! You can do it!"

Attaboy Spike.

"Stardust, do you not wish to assist your friends also?" I heard the Mayor inquire, prompting me to shake my head.

"Not that I would be caught dead doing any work related to farming, Mayor. Besides, the roles are already filled." I pointed out to the determined, one-track mindset of the farmers and their friends. I was far more content to observing them hard at work.

"Yes, our stallion friend here isn't one you'd typically ask for hard labour." Ah Whooves, you know me well. I smirked at the brown pony's chuckle.

By now, the confident brothers finally grasped that they underestimated their opponents. Their device was now sucking the trees, the whole of them, in an effort to pick up the pace.

"You can win guys!" Spike continued cheering on, undeterred by the faster barrels produced from the cocky siblings. I would help him encourage the mares and Big Mac, but I'm far too preoccupied tasting the sweet victory in my mouth.

Sweeter than cider, that's for certain.

The competition only got the more heated, it was palpable in the air. Beside me I noticed Spike cease cheering, visibly sweating as the remaining sand slowly descended, indicating the near end of the contest.

"They'll win, Spike." I reassured the uncertain dragon.

"How do you know?"

My gaze settled on the hard-working equines, all so focused on their tasks at hand with little distraction. There was no denying it, even if the Flim Flam siblings were producing the higher quantity at the moment, there was no doubt who the true victors were.

"...I just do."

"Time's up!" The Mayor then announced. prompting both sides to quickly cease. Wow, an hour already? Time flies. The aged Earth Pony proceeded with literally counting the number of barrels, when it was clearly obvious to anyone with a brain that the lazy pieces of [BEEP] made the most barrels. "Flim and Flam win!"

"No [BEEP]." I stated in disbelief. To the side, I noticed the saddened approaches of Applejack and her younger sibling.

"However, before any true winner is declared." Oh, she's actually going through with that idea? I noticed widened eyes from all sides. The Mayor smiled, "This idea has been given to me from some clever ponies and dragon. We shall conduct a second round to this contest; where you, Ponyville's citizens, shall decide the quality of cider produced by both sides. Whichever tastes better wins!"

At the announcement, I already detected the expressions of excitement from the nearby crowd, eager to taste the fresh drinks for themselves. Huh, so I was proven wrong; there were NO alcoholic substances in the cider... in Equestria, anyway.

That doesn't make these inhabitant's thirst for the stuff any less disturbing, however...

The Flim Flam brothers didn't seem phased by the sudden change in the competition. Quite the contrary, they looked gleeful at the prospect themselves. "By all means," Flim gestured as Flam quickly set up a stand, "Try the delicious cider only our Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand is capable of making, my friends!"

The townsfolk happily obliged, helping themselves to the offered mugs filled of fresh cider. "We've lost." A nearby female voice said, turning our attention to as ear-drooped Applejack.

"Have we?" I raised an invisible brow. "I wouldn't give hope up yet, my dear."

"What do you mean?" Apple Bloom asked, a tinge of hopefulness in her voice.

I nodded towards the drinking ponies, "Observe." They followed my gaze, to the flat-out disgusted equines as they spat the offensive liquid out of their mouths. The siblings looked more shocked than their opponents, as though they didn't anticipate those reactions from their customers. "What happens when you rush perfection. Now, I believe you have some cider to present."

Upon seeing the crowd express disdain for the cider created by the nervous-looking brothers, Applejack and Apple Bloom quickly rushed off to serve their own side of cider.

"Did you know this would happen?" Spike asked in pleasant surprise, just as relieved as Big Mac and Granny Smith.

"I knew something was bound to go wrong from their side." I responded, unable to hide my sadistic glee at the scammer's discomforts. "All went according to plan."

"You mean to say, this was all anticipated at the very beginning, Stardust?"

I nodded at Whooves' inquiry, steeping out of the way with the others for the disgruntled crowd. "Indeed, Doctor."

"Here ya go! Fresh cider made from hard work and care!" Apple Bloom said happily while passing mugs around to the waiting townsfolk, and I didn't need to cross my fingers - if I had any - for the predictable reactions.

They loved the stuff.

Yes, everything that has transpired has been done so according to my design. AN dit was glorious whenever my plans effectively worked like that.

The Mayor cleared her throat loudly, after the numerous pleased exhales died down. "All in favour of the Flim Flam brothers having the rights to sell cider in Ponyville, raise your hoof." Oh how shocking, no reaction. "All in favour of Sweet Apple Acres selling the yearly cider." Again, no surprise, as almost every hoof saved from the shocked brothers were raised. The aged mayor of Ponyville smiled. "Then I believe we know who are the victors here; congratulations Sweet Apple Acres, you are to continue producing and selling cider every year from here on!"

And here comes the obnoxious cheering, the main reason I joined Spike and Whooves by the hourglass. I heard a light chuckle from the latter as I gently rubbed my ponified ears.

"I don't know about you, my friends, but I'd quite like to taste that exhilarating cider of theirs." The brown Earth Pony said while walking towards the ecstatic congratulated family.

"Me too!" Spike agreed, following Whooves for some cider himself. It took every ounce of my willpower not to pull the dragon back by the tail. As long as that cider wasn't containing any alcoholic ingredients, when I have no quarrel with Spike drinking the stuff.

Or Twilight, as I would prefer not having a drunken Twilight Sparkle in the library-

Now where do those [BEEP]s think they're going?

As if expecting no one to notice, the defeated Flim Flam brothers were hurriedly climbing on their machine, beginning to steer the thing out of the area. Erm, not on my watch you [BEEP]s. You lost the bet, you pay the price.

Having no obligation to allow them to escape so easily, I quickly pursued the fleeing stallions, dispersing from the oblivious crowd down to the main dirt path. That machine of their was being operated via magic, so I had to quicken the pace; they were already getting away.

"Hey!" I shouted, gaining their surprised attention before they were out of hearing distance. "We have a bet to settle you [BEEP]s!"

...Oh, now I remember! I've seen these two before! On that MLP app! How could I forget?

Slowly, evidently reluctant to do so, the two unicorns slowed their mode of transportation down, allowing me to catch up. "Oh, uh you!" Flim began nervously, grinning faintly as I paused to catch my breath.

Hah, you see? My friends weren't the only ones to conduct exercise today.

"We would love to pay up, my friend, but we're afraid we have nothing to offer you; we've lost the contest, remember?" Flam said next, just as unnerved as his mustache-less sibling.

Oh you'll be paying, one way or another.

"Irrelevant." I exhaled while my breath recovered, glaring upwards at the observing duo. "We made a bet, and I expect you to follow through. Surely even smooth scammers can keep their word?"

"'Scammers'? You misunderstand; we're simply business ponies-"

"Then pay up."

"But we have nothing to give you!" Flam protested wildly. "Besides, just how valuable is your house?"

"Oh, well, it is technically owned by none other than the ruler of Equestria herself." Oh, there was pure delight at the dawning comprehension on their pony faces. "So as you can imagine, it's quite expensive."

"W-What do you want from us?" Flim asked quietly, the business-type facade slipping away, horror evident on his face.

My eyes wandered to the machine they stood upon. That was a question easily answered... 



 

To those who claim I don't do enough exercise; look what I'm doing right now.

Do you see me now, father?!

My two golden hooves pushing with as much of my might as possible with the damn vehicle back towards the farm. The Flim Flam siblings paid up by handing over their machine, reluctantly, but dues were to be settled, after all. And I always made sure of that. It's a damn inconvenience to be indebted to anyone.

Jesus, this thing was heavy.

"Need some help there?" A certain humoured mare ask.

"No thanks, I've got this." I declined while pushing the damn car forward, hearing a chuckling Applejack from the side.

"Sure ya do, sugarcube." There was a sound of loud sipping. "But don't that belong to the Flim Flam brothers?"

I grunted. "Not anymore." True, the device was far from green dough, but it had its uses.

Besides, those con stallions can always make another one.

...Okay this was good enough.

I moved back from pushing the thing, dusting my hoofs off in satisfaction. I'll just take a quick break before delivering it all the way back to the library. Letting out a sigh, my eyes settled on the orange Earth Pony, who was holding a mug and regarding me openly.

...Was there something on my face?

"Spike told me what ya did."

...Huh? "What I did?"

Applejack nodded, "Ya gave the Mayor the idea for the second round in the first place." A grin, filled with pure gratitude, then blossomed on her muzzle. "I... We can't thank ya and the rest of our friends enough. We might've lost Sweet Apple Acres otherwise."

Ah. "Think nothing of it, Applejack." I assured her, shrugging. "You were always going to win, regardless. I just made sure the fair ponies of Ponyville weren't shamefully given two incompetent businessmen, instead of the most amazing cider-makers ever."

The Earth Pony smiled bashfully, looking away. "Aw shucks. Ya know how to flatter a mare, Stardust." Yeah, well don't get use to it. "No wonder Twilight's so fond of ya."

"I- Excuse me?"

Before Applejack could speak further nonsense, a classy voice piqued up. "Don't tell me you stole that contraption from those brothers."

I smirked at the white unicorn, walking by along with the others, all holding mugs of cider in their hooves. Ugh. "Nope, I was just settling a bet with them my dear, that's all."

Rarity blinked in surprise. "You mean, you made a bet with those two stallions?" I nodded. "And their machine was wagered?"

"Not precisely. But they had nothing else to offer." I smirked at Applejack. "You all made sure of that." The orange mare feigned shame.

"What did you bet?"

Sharing a glance with a watching Twilight, I shrugged again. "It's no longer important. Suffice to say, it was something valuable to me."

"If that's the case, then why did you wager it?" The persistent purple unicorn spoke up, walking closer as if the truth would be more sincere up close and personal.

"Because I knew, without a single doubt, that Applejack and her family would win." Was my honest response.

Twilight looked away, looking quite... guilty? "I just... I'm sorry for doubting you, Ja- Stardust. I guess I was incredibly nervous over the fact you wagered something so important to me. I didn't think you cared at all after that."

"Of course I cared." Indeed, that library was more and more like a home to me everyday. A home away from home. I wouldn't have bet it if I wasn't completely certain of the outcome. "I still do, Twilight. And I don't blame you for thinking that. Betting it was rather... reckless. I'm sorry for making you doubt me like that."

Purple eyes shone at me, reflecting the anger clearly held against me. "A very large understatement there, Stardust. I don't know why I even agreed to it; against my better judgement, some part of me told me to trust you."

...What?

As I frowned at the mare, a snark voice inquired, "What did he offer, your hoof in marriage?" Our glares then fixed on a smirking Rainbow Dash, who shrugged while gulping her mug of cider. "I'm kidding! Sheesh."

"Regardless." Rolling my eyes, I patted the side of the invention, changing the subject. "As my own apology for causing you to doubt me, Twilight, I acquired this vehicle of theirs just for you; free to dismantle and study it as you please."

The purple unicorn raised a brow, looking torn between amusement, disbelief and exasperation. "And you think that's enough to fix everything?"

"...Is it working?"

"I swear..." Twilight shook her head exasperatedly, "Sometimes, Stardust, you baffle me to no end."

I shrugged, a smirk crossing my muzzle. "Well good, how dull would I be if I didn't surprise anyone from time to time?"

Applejack shook her head, thankfully switching the topic by saying brightly, "Want some cider, Star?"

"First of all, please don't call me 'Star'." I request as the rest save Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy rolled their eyes, to my annoyance. "Secondly, no thank you Applejack... I don't like cider."

Spit take.

Recovering from the shock, Rainbow Dash stared in palpable disbelief towards me, ignoring the glaring drenched Rarity. "What?! How can you NOT like cider?!"

"...I just don't." I replied with a shrug. "Not everyone's as addictive to the stuff as you all obviously are."

"Have you ever tried it before?" Fluttershy asked curiously.

"Well no but-"

"Then how do you know you don't like it?" Twilight asked in confusion.

Oh for the love of- I sighed. "Look, where I come from, we have cider. But the stuff made there is... Well... Of a rather poisonous nature." Their eyes widened. "Oh, not that drinking the stuff will kill you... Unless you drink too much of it. No, the cider from my home has ingredients which causes harm to the body. Worse than, say, sugary treats."

"Ahh." Twilight nodded, clearly understanding where I was coming from. Maybe when we get back, I'll tell her all about the alcoholic drinks the majority of my kind seem to love. "That explains your reluctance to try some then."

"Well, there's no need to worry here." Applejack reassured me, grabbing a spare filled mug out of nowhere and presenting it to me. "Fresh from apples, with no added poisonous ingredients. Trust me."

Slowly taking the mug, I cautiously regarded the bubbly sustenance. "Go on, try it!" Rainbow Dash commanded.

...Oh well, Hakuna Matata.

Hesitantly, I held the edge of the wooden mug to my lips, tasting the cool pure apple flavour enter my muzzle and go down my throat. Immediately retracting the mug, I tasted the contents.

...Huh.

"What do ya think?" Applejack then ask, genuinely curious.

Pursing my lips thoughtfully, I muttered quietly about the... refreshing taste. "I can see why the town waits so eagerly for your cider." And, of course, my eyes rolled at the satisfied and smug looks on the girl's faces.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, Stardust, because as soon as we get back home you're going to be dusting the whole shelves until the end of the week." Twilight said sternly, while the others laughed towards my gawking expression. The unicorn shrugged casually, "I think that's an appropriate punishment for almost making us lose something so dear to me."

Appropriate my arse! My eye twitched at their humoured expressions, muzzle opened to retort with "[BEEP] you"... But I found I couldn't towards her.