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// 2 – "Think of All the Things I've Ever Done for You." 
// Story: Spike Quits His Job and Goes on Numerous Quests 
// by B_25 
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~2~

"Think of All the Things I've Ever Done for You."



“Why?” 

It was a timeless question that demanded there be an answer. This answer, in order to be satisfactory, would have to be processed underneath the cold eyes of reason, and have its every aspect logically analyzed and assessed. Then, once every fact of the answer had been presented and thought out, it would then go on to be shown to the one asking the question in the first place.

"Twilight?"

Those facts and thoughts behind the answer would be shared with the one asking the question. They would go on to work throughout the problem again, making sure that there weren't any mistakes or bias in place, before the answer would go on to make sense to both parties. If the answer that came forth was an irrational one, then that answer was an objectively bad one. 

"Uhm, Twilight?"

Twilight opted to get herself out from her pool of thoughts to look at the drake standing before her. He seemed more confused than she was, as he was cautiously stretching a hand toward her. 

"Are you okay?"

That was also a timeless question. One that served to ignite the bomb residing in her chest, placed there by the letter she had read moments ago. "Am I okay? How could you possibly expect for me to be okay when the answer you've given me doesn't make any sense!?"

Spike retracted his hand the moment the lavender mare blew up before him. The intense expression on her face was too much for his cowardice to face, causing him to cast his gaze backward to afford him a moment to catch his breath. But when his eyes came to the entryway to the room, he found an orange mare standing at the doorway, slowly backing away and silently hoping she had not been seen.

“Spike, what prompted this?”

The drake was torn from the bizarre scene to the scary one he was having with his soon to be formal boss. Try as he might, he had no room to interject a witty joke or a cool line – forced to try and explain his abstract feelings on the matter in a coherent and concise matter. "I...don't really know myself, Twilight."

Some of Twilight's anger began to fade from her face. "Do you think that this could be just a spur of the moment thing?"

Spike saw that her eyes were silently pleading for a yes, and he knew that one word would get him out of his current situation. It would revert everything back to normal before it had a chance to get out of whack in the first place, and it would probably make both parties all the more grateful.

But he would be lying, to both her and himself. "I'm sorry, Twilight, but I've thought long and hard about this. And, to be honest, I'm not even fully sure why I'm quitting, other than I feel like it's something I should do." 

The lavender mare sighed, and stepped toward him. "So you're just doing this arbitrary?”

"Not in the full sense of the word."

"I just don't understand why you're doing this now, and like this." Twilight fell down onto her rump and tried to ponder the drake's incoherent actions and words. "You're always needed around here, Spike. And what you do matters, to both me and all those who visit the library."

The drake took a few more steps into the room, coming just before her, and sitting down as well. "But only when it comes to menial chores though. It's not that I don't enjoy doing them, Twilight, but I feel like there's something else I should be doing right now."

Twilight seemed to be still lost in the depths of her vast mind, straining all the mental energy lingering in her system to unravel the answer she craved for. The one the drake had given her did not suffice to the standards she held to all of her friends, and she would look deeper into the drake's psyche and actions to find the truth possibly hidden from in. 

So it came as a surprise to her when she felt claws underneath her chin, lightly pushing it upward until her eyes stared into his. 

"This isn't anything for you to feel bad about." He said while adding a soft smile. "C'mon Twi, you've given me a great place to call work and home. All the knowledge I could ever hope to attain are always just a floor below my feet, and any questions I could ever muster can be answered perfectly by you, who is never too far away. This library has been the perfect learning environment."

Twilight pushed away his claws and erected her own head just before his. "Stop talking like you're saying farewell to your boss!"

"But it feels like I'm doing just that," Spike said as he felt a similar anger rush from inside him, though he closed his eyes and took steady breaths to try and suppress it. "For the past little while, my body feels like it's been put on autopilot as I work here, and I'm just watching life from the windows of my eyes. I didn't mind this at first, because I could read about these way more exciting lives in the books all around me."

"is that the problem then?" Twilight slumped forward as if she had caught the scent of the answer she was searching for. "You need more books to keep your entertained? Heck, the library needs more books, that's something I can do in a heartbeat."

Spike's eyelids split apart to reveal the soften eyes underneath. "I really wish that were the case, Twilight. But that euphoric moment I feel after reading a book just doesn't cut it anymore, and I think that's just my body saying that I need to get out there. To go...and become something more than what I am right now." 

Any lingering anger in Twilight's system was flushed away she felt for her life-long friend. "Spike...why didn't you tell me you were having feelings like these? Did you feel that I couldn't help you? That you'd be better off dealing with these emotions alone, with no one to help you out?"

The mare's unintentionally accusing words managed to slice through anything the drake could use as a defense, as she was asking him questions far more personal than he was comfortable with. The words caused him to try and raise his hands in defense, and stammer out his next few words. "I-It's nothing l-like that, Twilight! It just, whatever I got going on inside me, even I don't understand it. So bringing it to you, when what I could say or do may hurt your feelings, well...well the concept just kinda scared me."

Twilight could feel the weight of the drake's restlessness, though his fears still felt as though they were slicing across her heart. "Why would talking to me scare you?"

Spike sealed his eyes and clenched his hands, trying to mutter out his honest answer without crying it out. "Because you scare me, sometimes."

The words sent Twilight hurling back into the vastness of her own mind, where the walls of her brain protected her from the pain she was about to experience. In this plain of space, the lavender mare simply bobbed, and watched as clouds of memories flew by her. They held special moment that the mare felt like she needed to record, like the many birthdays of Spike, where he would give her a lazy hug, or the first day that he blew fire. 

She couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of cake being magically teleported into the face of Princess Celestia. 

A new cloud began to manifest itself in this space, slowing fading in at the color of gray, and being filled with the actions happening outside her body. This gray cloud was of Spike, taller and sleek compared to the memories of his babyhood, saying that he was scared of the mare who she was now. Before this gray memory could even finish processing, a chain appeared from behind its back and wrapped itself around the cloud's every angle, until the metal squeezed it as tightly as it could. 

Once detained, this gray memory was banished to the deepest depths of her subconscious mind. By the time Twilight Sparkle had returned to reality, Spike was already standing again. 

"Not that we have that settled," Spike turned around with the shame of being unable to look at his friend, "I'm still all yours for another two weeks. To be honest, I kinda wanted to hand you that scroll and just leap out the nearest window – but just in case things don't work out for me in the real world, then I would like to have the ability to be rehired here."

Spike hated the idea of that ever occurring – coming back home without having found everything. It was like whenever he would invest a lot of time trying to learn a new art or subject, trying his best to succeed in it, only to be labeled a failure and a disappointment which would bar him from ever attempting such things again. He would get so hyped up that he would become something better than his current self, only to fall back to the drake he still currently was. 

Spike didn’t like that idea – of having a to come back without having found anything. He often took first failures as final failures. And, out there, no one was going to motivate him to keep trying. So the only thing he could use was that he had no home to come back to. But seeing as how he had no idea what he was searching for: losing a home was far too dangerous in this world. 

“That is assuming my work as a number-one assistant was my payment for staying here. "

Twilight caught herself up in the current conversation and added in her piece on the matter. "Technically, yes, your work did count for you being able to live here for free. However, if you came to my door a bruised up, I doubt I'd ever have the will to charge you rent if you had no other place to go."

She stood up in an attempt to get the drake to look back at her, succeeding in her attempt when he did just that. "You're at the age where the law allows you to be able to move out. But it isn't abnormal for ponies to stay home for just a little longer, just to figure things out and what they want to do with the next part of their lives."

Then, the answer Twilight had been searching for dawned on her. "Wait just a second. You can do just that!'

The drake curiosity at the sudden mood change was enough to bait him into looking her into the eyes. "I can do just what, Twilight?"

Twilight ignored her question as she prepared her bait once more. "I think I'm starting to understand where you're coming from. We all go through this phase where it feels like we don't know who we are or what we're meant to do, or even sometimes, if we're even good enough to attempt the things we want to attempt. But I also don't think you're in the right state of mind to discuss this matter at the moment."

The drake went to speak, but the unicorn beat him to it. 

"That is not to say you'll never be able to make it." Twilight allowed a well-deserved exhale, feeling absolute delight at her words webbing a trap in perfect correlation to the plan inside her head. "But I think that you need to get a good night's sleep and not worry about anything for the next few days. Then, when you're stress-free and with a clear mind, you can make a decision that you know will make for a better future."

Spike took a few steps backward, not quite liking the mare's sudden change in tone, but she took serval steps forward as well. "I-I'm not quite sure about this, Twilight."

"Oh, come on Spi~ike." She came even closer to before him, batting her eyelashes in the saddest way possible. "Think of all the things I've ever done for you. Can't you repay me just this one time by following this advice devised for your own benefit?"

Spike tried to look away, but found her stare bringing him back. Knowing that there was no possible way out of the situation, the dragon sighed in defeat and slumped his shoulders forward.


"Alright Twilight."