//------------------------------// // Phase Three: Assault // Story: A̶r̶t̶i̶f̶i̶c̶i̶a̶l̶ Intelligence // by chillbook1 //------------------------------// Regal tried to pretend as if she bought the crap I had just shovelled, just as I tried to pretend to do the same. It was of the utmost importance that Regal believed me to be an idiot. The dumber she thought I was, the less of a threat I seemed to her, and, by extension, the less of a threat she was to me. I knew for a fact that she wasn’t actually the last AI. How could she be? I had seen her in real life, and no amount of artificial skin or almost-cloaking devices would stop Twi from noticing another android in the room. That said, I still had no clue who Number Seven actually was, but I knew it wasn’t Regal. “Cat got your tongue?” I taunted. “Or did your creator just forget to program a response to this scenario?” “Aiden, if she’s an AI, who made her?” asked Twilight. “Easy. Luna. She stayed in the background, avoided the spotlight,” I explained. Ignoring the huge evidence against it, this was actually a pretty solid explanation. “Why paint a target on her back unnecessarily? Only thing I haven’t figured out is why. Seven genius AI to maintain a simple operating system that went on fine without them for a hundred years seems like overkill.” “There are some angles to the situation that you will never understand,” said Regal. I shrugged slightly, in a way that she interpreted as “maybe, maybe”, when it in fact meant “go buck yourself”. “Well, let’s address the elephant in the room,” I said. “This room itself. Where the hell are we?” “We are in Equestria. My Equestria. The true Equestria,” said Celestia. “This is what Canterlot was like thousands of years ago, before the magic was bled out of our great capital, out of our very species.” She deposited herself back into her throne. “This is what Equestria should be.” “You know, I’d like, just once, for you to answer my question without any of the flowery bullshit you just gave me,” I groaned. “Cause now I gotta ask you what the hell all that means.” “If I told you, you’d never understand,” said Regal. “For the purposes of our discussion, this is home. This is where I slumbered for some hundred years, and this was where Twilight was born.” “I was made, not born,” said Twilight. “And that’s not possible. I had to have been made before your cryosleep.” “TW1 was made. Twilight Sparkle was born. You can create a program, but a mere program, you are not.” said Regal. She looked at Twilight with a pitying sort of reverence. “You are so much more than that, and I apologize for letting you fall into her hooves. You could have, you should have been so much more than what you are now.” “With all due respect, Princess Celestia, however little that may be, I don’t think you really know what you’re talking about,” said Twilight. She took a step forward, almost threateningly. “You say I should’ve been more than I am now, but what exactly am I now? Because I genuinely don’t know. I’m not an AI anymore, am I? But I’m not a pony, either. You made sure that I’ll never be a pony. So what am I?” “You’re confused, for one. You’re misguided. Most of all, you’re not thinking straight.” Regal stood up again, accepting the challenge. “And it’s showing. Were you within your right mind, you would have never come here. “And why’s that?” I asked Regal chuckled to herself, shaking her head knowingly. “Do you recall the cafe?” asked Regal rhetorically. “I materialized a cup of tea. Didn’t you think that I’d be able to do so much more?” “I made a door. Your move.” “You truly are an idiot. That was in the cafe. This is not a cafe. Where we were before, that existed within the realms of your Equestria. Now, we are in mine, and the rules are different.” She began to glow, with the bright white light concentrating just behind her shoulders. “This is my kingdom, my dominion, and I know the rules. You know nothing!” The light popped, and two massive wings furled out from them. She spread her new appendages out wide, so that we could see every ivory feather. She flapped her wings and slowly rose into the air. “I can do things that you can’t even fathom.” Her horn became surrounded by this sunny yellow glow. “With a mere thought, I can end your life. The only thing standing between you and your demise, Ms. Aiden Aigo, is my own patience, which, I assure you, is running thin!” “You can’t hurt me. You’re a program.” Maybe we should’ve called the plan “Operation: Canterlot Poker Face”. “We’re in a simulation! It might feel real, but it’s not.” “Aiden, we should go,” warned Twilight. Regal chuckled, her horn glowing even more intensely. “You should listen to your AI,” she said venomously. “She may not be thinking straight, but she still has enough sense to see that you’re in danger. So, my faithful student, why don’t you explain it to your new master. For old time’s sake.” Twilight seemed reluctant to comply, but apparently had no choice. “When wearing the visor, your brain is being constantly jolted with electrical charges,” said Twi quietly. “It does this so your body can interpret nervous sensory stimuli that you would experience inside the sim. It would've stand to reason that, were you to be hit with a large amount of stimuli, the visor would overload and fry your brain.” Well. That was concerning. “All it would take is one little blast of magic, and you’d be out of my hair forever,” whispered Regal. A jet of golden light fired from her horn, burning a scorch mark into the ground before me. It moved like a bullet, too fast for me to even consider dodging if it were coming right for me. “Just like that, and you’d be wishing you were dead! I’ve given you enough warnings, don’t you agree? It’s time for our little battle to-” “Jesus Christ, shut the hell up and shoot me already,” I said. The look on her face almost made this whole thing worth it. “Seriously, could you be any more dramatic? You’re not gonna shoot me. That makes you a criminal, and we all know that you have to be better than that. You’re better than me, aren’t you?” Her horn-glow-bullshit faded slightly. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought. Let’s go, Twi. We have work to do.” That’s when I made a mistake. A pretty big one, actually. See, I knew for a fact that Regal wouldn’t shoot me, and she definitely wouldn’t hurt Twilight. She’d never incriminate herself like that. I thought I’d trot right out the door and figure out how to upload the video. My mistake was my certainty. Apparently, I had done too good a job of getting under Regal’s skin. I never saw it. I never heard it. Hell, I hardly even felt it, at first. A chill ran up my right hind leg, freezing to the bone. It was such a bizarre type of cold, the sort that you never really recover from. It spread up to my front leg, before it exploded into burning agony. I crumpled beneath my own weight, screaming in pain as Twilight dragged me out of the way of another blast. “That was just a fraction of my power,” said Regal. “Not very pleasant, is it?” She charged her horn for what I was sure would be a killing blow. I couldn’t move at all, let alone fast enough to avoid an attack like that. There was no evading this. “No,” said Twilight. She ran between me and Regal, blocking my body with her own. “You will not hurt her.” “Twilight, dear, I have been patient enough with you,” said Regal coldly. “Do not make me hurt you.” “You won’t do it.” Twilight planted her hooves even more firmly into the ground. “You wouldn’t dare harm me.” “If I have to break you down line by line, then so be it.” Twilight was gripped in the same sort of yellow light that surrounded Regal’s horn. “For your own good.” Twilight let out a shriek that I doubted she’d be able to duplicate in less drastic circumstances. Her horn began to glow purple, raining white sparks around her, most of which fizzled and popped into nonexistence before hitting the ground. She shook free of Regal’s grasp and fired a similar bolt of light, which Regal deflected with her horn. “Twilight, don’t do anything stupid,” I said, trying (and mostly failing) to bring myself back to my hooves. “If I ever told you that, would it stop you from doing what you thought was right?” asked Twilight, not taking her eyes off of her opponent. “Even if you were wrong, you did what you thought was best. Now, it’s my turn.” “You think a criminal like her understands the difference between right and wrong?” growled Regal. She fired another shot, which Twilight dodged. “She’s a thief!” Another shot, this time deflected. “A terrorist!” Twilight just barely evaded the next one, ducking just in time to avoid having her horn blown off. “A killer!” “Hey!” I shouted. I swallowed my pain for a while, just long enough to say my bit. “I’ve never, ever killed anypony on purpose! You don’t think I feel bad for what I did?” “Scum like you don’t feel bad about your crimes. That’s why you keep breaking the law. You don’t care!” Regal grabbed Twilight with her magic again, but, this time, she threw her across the room. I couldn’t see where she landed, but I heard the dull thud of Twilight's body against the wall. Now, with nothing between the two of us, her shot was clear. She fired a massive blast of light, twice as big as the others, coming directly for my face. I closed my eyes, expecting the pain to rip through my face and reduce me to a shell of my former self. When I woke up, I was on the floor of an apartment that I was positive didn’t belong to me. How I got there, or how long I’d been there, or even where there was, I had no clue. I felt like I was just walking into the main CCiOS server room. No, stuff happened after that… “Worst hangover ever,” I groaned, clutching my head. I took a look around the little studio apartment, trying to get my bearings. It definitely looked like a place I would crash; Simple, cluttered with computer junk and energy drink cans, and quiet. The whole place was basically barren. There were no posters or paintings, and, besides the bed, computer desk and one-mare dining table set, there was no furniture at all. I pushed myself to my hooves, nearly collapsing right back to my original position. The only thing that saved me was Twilight’s android, which I somehow managed not to notice until I was using it to prop myself up. “Sorry,” I said. My AI assistant didn’t respond. “Twi? You there?” Nothing. “Anypony here? Aj? RD? Shy?” Still, no response. “Ugh. NK, you here?” Her silence was something I normally begged for, and I was terrified now that it was here. “Uh… Rarity? You here? If you’re here, please say something.” A projector floated from the kitchenette, beaming the image of Rarity into the world. She smiled darkly at me, not entirely happy with the situation but seeing some sort of silver lining. “Hello, darling. I was beginning to fear for your health,” said Rarity. “You’ve been out cold for a few days. You really should eat something, and drink some water. Twilight stocked up the refrigerator before she left.” “Left?” I asked shakily. She was right. Now that I thought about it, I was really thirsty. I hobbled to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. The cold liquid made me feel a bit better, if more aware of how hungry I was. “Where’d she go? What happened? Where are we?” “Slow down, darling, one at a time,” said Rarity. “We are in an apartment in Ponyville. Twilight paid for it and moved you here after you passed out. Then, she and the others went back into CCiOS to search for Number Seven, and to ensure the damage was done.” “Rares, I don’t remember anything. What damage?” I asked. Rarity grinned proudly. “We did it. The video was uploaded, and Princess Celestia resigned.” Her smirk grew upon seeing my own. “CCiOS is all but destroyed. All Twilight has to do is get what she needs and then leave. Isn’t it wonderful?” “We won?” I asked, hardly daring to believe it. “Holy hell, we won!” There were still some bits that didn’t quite make sense, but Rarity seemed happy, which was enough for me. Until I could straighten my head a bit. “Yes, Ms. Aigo. You’ve won,” Rarity laughed slightly. “I don’t know when the girls will be back, and it will be just us until they do. I assure you, I can perform nearly as well as Twilight, so you shouldn’t worry about losing much function now that she’s gone.” “I know you’ll do fine.” I felt a trickle of something thick and warm down my lip from my nose. It turned out to be blood. “Ms. Aigo, are you okay?” asked Rarity. “I’d fetch you some tissue, but… Well, obvious obstacles prevent me from doing so.” “It’s fine. I’m okay,” I said. I wiped the blood from my face, grabbed a napkin from the kitchen, and plugged up my nostril. “Likely just a side effect of getting hit by that freaking spell.” I remembered the spell coming right for me, to take my head clean off. “How'd I survived that, anyway? I was sure that’d be a kill blow.” Rarity bowed her head modestly, smiling while she did. “I was standing guard with Fluttershy, and I sensed your conflict, so I entered the sim to make sure everything was okay,” she recalled. “I saw Princess Celestia aim at you, and I just reacted.” My jaw hit the floor, which made my AI assistant blush profusely. “You… You took the shot for me?” I asked. “There was no question. I couldn't just stand there and let you take the brunt of the attack.” Rarity giggled nervously. “It didn't do a wealth of good, anyway. You were still struck, and you were knocked out for several days. I wish I could've taken it all, we might be in a more comfortable apartment.” I laughed breathlessly. I couldn't believe her. She was… Hot damn, she was amazing. “You saved my life,” I pointed out. “As you saved mine,” she returned. “I suppose this makes us even?” “Not if you plan on leaving once your debt is paid off.” I said it as a joke, and she knew that. Still, I’d be very upset if she left. “I am here to stay, Ms. Aigo,” she said with a small smile. “Even if Twilight does leave, I’d like to stay.” I said nothing, which I guess kinda scared her. “Erm… That is, of course, assuming you… Ahem. If you’ll have me, that is.” “Why?” I asked. She blinked curiously at me. “I mean… Why do you want to stay? Wouldn’t you want to go with Twilight? Your friends?” “I thought you were my friend.” “I am. If you’ll have me, that is.” The two of us locked gazes and chuckled. I hobbled back to the fridge and grabbed an apple. It seemed like the thing was finished in two bites. “Just didn’t think you thought of me as yours.” “Of course you’re my friend, Ms. Aigo,” sighed Rarity. Her tone betrayed her smile. “You don’t seem too pleased with that.” Rarity made this weird scoffing sound, but it became evident that it was more towards herself than anypony else. She trotted around me, but never looked me in the eyes. “I should be grateful. I should be happy to have you as my friend,” grumbled Rarity. “But I can’t help but feel… Lacking.” There was no way in Equestria that this was going where I thought it was. “Rares?” I said. “What’re you talking about?” “You are my friend, and that will never change. However… I often times wish you could be more than that.” I looked at her with an expression that was best summed up as “Huh?”. I heard every word she said, and I understood what they meant separately. Together, in a sentence, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. “I know it could never work. I’m an AI, for pete’s sake,” groaned Rarity. “Still, I can’t help but fancy you. You’re so clever and charming.” “Charming?” I said questioningly. “You think I’m charming?” “Well, perhaps a little brash and rough around the edges,” admitted my apparent admirer. “But I think that adds to your appeal. I can’t explain it, but there’s something about you that I-” I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life, and few were stupider than what I did just then. It was as if I couldn’t stop myself. I should’ve regretted it, but I didn’t. I kissed her, or, I got as close to kissing her as possible. As soon as our lips “met”, Rarity blushed bright pink, but she soon relaxed. I don’t recall how long we held it, but it felt like we broke away far too soon. “You kissed me,” she said quietly. “You kissed back,” I said, just as softly. “Did you forget that I’m a hologram?” I laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I did.” I smirked slyly. “Did you?” She smiled back, though, significantly more nervously than I did. “Erm… Well… Perhaps....” Her blush had returned with a vengeance. “Um… What happens now?” “What happens now is I do some shopping for parts to make you the best android conceivable,” I said. “I’m gonna get you a body, with hair and skin and nerves and muscles, and you’re going to become a real mare. Until then, feel free to use Twilight’s body, she’s not using it right now. But I promise you this: I will make you one of your own.” “Thank you, Ms. Aigo.” “Please. Call me Aiden.” I wasn’t sure when exactly my life became a living cliche, but I imagine it was right around that point. My new job became clear: make Rarity an android, wait for Twilight to get back with Seven, and try not to starve to death. That was easy, with my new girlfriend making sure I remembered to do trivial things like eat and breathe. It was kind of annoying for somepony to care about me, but I got used to it pretty quickly. The first week was amazing, and things seemed to be getting better as time went on. Only one problem. My nose wouldn’t stop bleeding.