Author’s note: Tech-pri3st had finally posted ‘Devil’s Due: Flipside of the Coin’. Go check it out if you haven’t already.
Now that some promotion has been had, let’s get on with this bitch.
-
I woke up to find my face feeling crusty. I squinted my eyes and lifted my hands to my face. I drug them down and felt what was like dead, crusty skin flake off. Shocked, I removed my hands from my face and looked at them. They were covered in little red flakes of dried blood. The sun blared through the window and caused me to wince in pain. I fumbled for my glasses and shoved them on my face. Every muscle in my body ached from the crash and I could hear a large amount of commotion erupt from the outside of the H2. I peered into my rearview lazily and saw a group of guards surrounding the crash site and a group of ponies surrounding them.
I lowered my sun visor and checked myself in the mirror. A cut from my forehead had bled down my face while I slept and covered the majority of my face but other than that, I was fine. I rubbed the rest of the blood from my face and noticed that my shirt was spared from the onslaught of blood and other than a few scuffs, my suit coat was fine. My coat still covered Dash as she slept on the passenger seat. I snaked my hand over the jacket and retrieved the silencers and attachments that I had stolen the other night. I had a total of five silencers and six other attachments of various uses. I pulled my handgun and placed my hand on the slide. I closed my eyes and imaged a threading on the barrel. The back of my hand burned for a moment but was noticeably less intense than my previous attempts. I grunted as a finally stabbing pain erupted from my hand. I peeled open my eyes to see the barrel had protruded a bit and a machined threading wrapped around it. I pulled a decently sized silencer and screwed it on. The silencer threaded on nicely and created a snug seal. I was pleased to say the least.
Now my 1911 sat at roughly 14 inches long and was silenced. I poured the attachments in my lap and sifted through them for a moment. Most were for rifles and shotguns, but I did find one that was and under-barrel flashlight/laser. I prayed for it to fit as I lifted the handgun up and snapped it onto the trigger guard. A familiar white light traced the seams where it met the met the gun and became a permanent addition. I exhaled in relief and held the intimidating gun in my hand. The 1911 was almost twice as long and now could be used as a flashlight. I looked over at Dash and saw she was still sound asleep.
I cradled all of the attachments in my hand and opened my door. A cold winter breeze hit my face and chilled me to the bone as I climbed out and landed feet first. My back cried in protest but continued to work none the less. I closed the door behind me with a thud and shambled over to the trunk of the H2. I released the latch and the door flew open. All of the guns sat in the in a pile and the various medical supplies were spilling out of the bag. I dumped the attachments onto the floor and arranged the guns into a neat layout across the floor. I figured that when I got back to Ponyville, I could commission a gun rack to keep them in order. I looked at the handgun that still sat in my hand and then looked at my holster. There was no way that it would fit anymore. I removed the holster from my chest and tossed it with the pile of guns.
With no better option, I was going to have to jury-rig it. I removed my knife from its sheath and cut a hole inside of my pants pocket. Rarity was going to be pissed but fuck her, honestly. I sheathed my knife and tested my make shift holster. I shoved my big ass handgun into my pocket and it found its mark. The silence fell through the hole and the slide caught the material, holding it in place nicely. The grip still protruded from my pocket for easy access.
Satisfied, I closed the trunk and turned my attention to the group behind me. The car still sat as a mangled mess and the guards were surrounding it for whatever reason. I shook my head in humility and started to wonder over in the group’s direction. I could hear ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ and I made my way over to the site. As I made my way over a familiar figure emerged from the castle and walked over to me. It was obvious who it was. She carried herself differently in the morning sun or maybe it was just yesterday’s concussion. I gave a halfhearted salute and she stepped in front of me.
“How’s it going boss?” I asked in the most pleasant tone I could offer.
“You do not look so good. Are you okay?” Celestia asked, noticing my obvious displeasure.
“I feel like hell but a 60mph car crash will do that to you.”
“I see. Are you going to be able to help with the guards today?” she asked in a business tone.
“I’m not exactly in my best shape but I can give ‘em a crash course. Send them to Ponyville later today and I see what I can do.”
“Then I bid you farewell.” She said as she unfurled her wings and took to the skies.
I wasn’t in the best shape to teach but I was still capable of delivering. There was no reason to deal with the crowd at this point. I just spun around and limped back to the H2. My right leg protested like the day I had first arrived. I waddled down the cobble stone street as the sun baked my wounds and the morning cold penetrated my skin. I placed my hand on the latch and pulled the door open. I climbed up into the cabin as the suspension gave a little squeak and wobble. I placed my hands on the wheel and looked over at Dash. She had pushed the jacket off of her while she was sleeping. I reached over the gear lever and retrieved it. It was still a little damp but it was serviceable. I tossed it on and basked in the residual heat from Dash.
Dash was out like a light in the passenger’s seat and seemed happy enough. Her wounds were taken care of for the most part anyway. I let the engine come to life and I shifted into gear. The engine rumbled as I pulled forward. I looked in my rearview and saw that the crowd was dispersing and a few unicorns showed up and work together to move the wreckage. I grunted it pain as I hit a bump that jostled the inside of the car. I shook it off and continued down the bumpy road out of the city.
The digital clock read 11am as I made my way towards the city gate. As soon as I came into view, the guard lifted the fence and I sped right on through. It wouldn’t be long now.
-
I drove for the better part of a half an hour before Ponyville came into view. The town was alive and hopin’ as I drove towards it at a steady speed. The H2 roared as I barreled down the road and it was a nice change of pace from the Civic. The H2’s suspension coped well with the road and I praised unknown deities. I didn’t want to hit anymore bump to fuck up my wounds any worse than they already were.
The gods seemed to sense my praise and responded with a large rock under my left tire. The rock threw the equilibrium out of the suspension and tossed me around inside, aggravating my wounds.
“God-fucking-dammit!” I yelled in the cabin.
Dash shot awake and looked over at me. I grimaced in pain as I clutched my side and fought the wheel to keep the H2 on the road.
“Are you ok?” Dash as she noticed her own wounds “What happened last night?”
“A wild party. You should have been there.” I shot back to cover up my pain.
“Don’t be like that.” She said as she nuzzle a wound on her side “Who patched me up?”
“I did.” I groaned as I let go of my side and returned my hand to the wheel.
“Thanks.” She said as she climbed over the console and lowered her head into my lap.
The H2’s engine purred like a kitten as I coasted down a hill and into town. I sped through the town without a second thought. I wasn’t in the mood for Twilight’s bullshit and I just wanted to rest until I had to speak with my new ‘trainees’. I blew through the town and 35mph and sped up as I passed the city limits.
“I still can’t believe Alex died on a combat op.” I mumbled as I drove down the road.
“What did he do for a living?” Dash asked, trying to dig at my past again.
“He worked for a PMC.” I explained.
“A PMC?” she asked quizzically.
“Para military contractor; a gun for hire if you will.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, he joined the military right out of high school and became hooked. His mother always told me he was a spittin’ image of his father.”
“He sounded like a ‘refined guard’.” She said, mimicking Rarity’s accent.
“Not in the slightest.” I said with a smirk “He swears and drinks like a trucker. My kind of company.”
“What? Us ponies aren’t hardcore enough for you?” she said coyly.
“No even close. I don’t believe even Pinkie’s parties can compare to some of the parties I’ve been to with Alex.” I explained as memories began to flash back at me “Once, Alex and me went to an illegal rave in an old steel foundry. We both were trashed and started a mosh pit before the police showed up and we booked it. We ended up sleeping in a tree three miles from the foundry and had to trudge back with horrific hangovers.”
“Wow.”
“I know right?” I said with a smirk as I braced myself to head off-road.
I cut the wheel to the right and pulled off of the road. The H2 threw Dash and me around the cabin as it connected with the uneven ground of the field. I squinted as the H2 leveled out and the Dash’s place came into view. I felt like every hangover and injury I had ever had finally came back to haunt me.
“A few guards will be showing up later for training. I wanna try and rest up until then.”
“Ok then.” Dash said as she retracted her head from my lap and sat up.
I pulled up in front of the cloud home and shifted into park. My muscles ached and screamed for a nice bed.
“Let’s get out of here.” I said as I pushed open the door and stumbled out onto my feet.
I turned around and grabbed my coat. I tossed it on and closed the door. I stretched a bit before walked towards the cloud home.
“AAGH.” Dash grunted as I looked back at her.
“You hurtin’ too?” I asked.
“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad on the way here. What happened to us? I just remember a white light and then nothing’.”
“The front end of the car I was driving slammed head long into a pole in Canterlot. You blacked out and I patched you up.” I explained as I made my way towards her.
I knelt down next to her and placed my hand on her back.
“You want some help?” I asked with a smile.
“You know I’m gonna say no.”
“Ok then,” I said as I place my hands on her sides and lifted her up “I’ll just do it anyway.”
“Thanks.” She said as she placed her head on my shoulder.
“No prob.”
I walked over the cloud and stepped up and made my way towards the door. The added weight made my back scream as I walked up to the door. I pushed the door open, stepped in, and kicked the door close with my foot.
As I made my way towards the couch before Dash removed her head from my shoulder and said “I think you should upgrade from the couch. First door down the hall.”
Taking her direction, I walked down the hallway and stopped in front of the door. A large poster of three pegasi in blue jump suits stood on it with a large explosion in the back ground behind them. Just below their hooves stood the logo of the ‘Wonderbolts’. Hooray for hero worship. I placed my free hand on the door and pushed the door open.
The room had a high vaulted ceiling with a large bed sitting against the wall on the opposite side of the room. At least one poster of the Wonderbolts sat on each wall. It was a little unsettling but to each his own, I suppose. I limped over to the bed before set Dash down and collapsed next to her, face down.
“You ok?” she asked with a giggle.
I only raise my hand and gave a thumbs up.
“Don’t be such a drama queen.” She said as she bumped my shoulder with a hoof.
With that, I turned my thumb down and rolled over. I was greeted by a white ceiling and Dash climbing on top of me.
“Was it worth it?” she asked me.
“Depends on the ‘it’ you are talking about.”
“Coming to Equestria.”
“You tell me.” I said as I placed my hand on her mane and stroked it gently.
“Don’t blow me off.” She said as she pushed my hand away.
“Well, it wasn’t my first intention when I put the gun to my head.”
“Are you glad to be here?” she asked as she locked her large eyes with mine.
Her eyes were unlike anything I had ever seen. Something about them made it impossible to lie.
“Am I glad to be in Equestria? No.” I said flatly.
Dash was taken aback and I swear I could see her heart breaking.
“But I am glad to be with you.” I corrected.
She lit up again. She didn’t say anything as she climbed on top of me and rested her head in my neck.
“I love you.” She whispered in my ear.
I had nothing. I was not expecting this. What kind of creature was I to give love? How could I just kill someone the night prior only to come home and tell my lover that I loved her? The juxtaposition was out of whack. I could feel the words building within me as much as my mind wanted to keep them locked away.
“I love you too.” I whispered to her.
My words seemed hollow to me but they must have seemed genuine to her. Within a few seconds, I felt her wings encompass me in a warm embrace that locked my arms to my side. I was trapped in love with no way out, not that I wanted one.
-
We spent what felt like a few hours like this before I heard a knock at the door. Dash’s ears perked up at the sound and she let go of me. I sat forward and felt like a new man. Of course I still ached but at least I was functional. Dash jumped off of me and flew up. I climbed out of bed and brushed myself off. I could almost hear the marching drums as I stepped out of the room and walked towards the door. My handgun still sat in my pocket as I adjusted my belt to compensate for the weight.
I stepped in front of the door and pulled it open. I looked down and saw a group of ten guards still in their shining gold armor. At the door stood Shining Armor minus his helmet.
“Reporting for duty sir.” He said begrudgingly as he saluted me.
“I’m glad to see you made it.” I said in a jovial tone.
I had some serious shit planned for these guards and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
“Give me an hour.” I told him “Set up camp nearby. Your training will last somewhere in the realm of a week.”
Shining could only salute me, as much as he hated to, as he left the front door. I turned around to see Dash fly over my shoulder.
“I’m going to address them in an hour and then you’ll work them ‘til they can’t breathe. Sound good?”
“Sweet.” She said with a devious grin as she rubbed her hooves together.
“You scare me sometimes.” I said with a smile.
“That just means it’s working.” She said before flying back into the hallway.
I just rolled my eyes as I walked out of the door towards the H2. I whistled a little tune and I stepped over to the trunk and opened the door. The guns were spread out across the floor as I grabbed the AR-15, a flashlight/laser attachment, a silencer, the scope from the Remington 700, and the sling from my G36C. I snapped the sling into place on the rifle before I slid the scope into position on the Picatinny rail. I fumbled for the silencer and screwed it onto the end. The silencer was a snug fit as I snapped the flashlight/laser onto a side rail. With the gun fully prepared, I set it down on the floor and cracked my knuckles. This was probably going to hurt.
I placed my left hand over the receiver and my right over the barrel. I closed my eyes and made sure I had an appropriate footing. When I was ready, I concentrated like I did on the G36C and waited for pain. Nothing but a little throbbing from the back of my hands came. Surprised, I opened my eyes to see that all of the parts were sealed to the gun and the faint blue light emitted from the open spaces around the exposed bolt.
“At least it’s gettin’ easier.” I mumbled to myself before I slammed the door closed with the rifle in my hands.
I turned around to see that the small group of guards setting up camp 30ft from Dash’s house and already had a fire going. If they wanted my help, I was going to mold them into the most dangerous bastards that this land had ever seen but something told me that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. They were just too bound in honor and pride to take on the advice I was about to tell them.
I rested the rifle in my hands and made my way over to them. The cool polymer grip on the rifle felt almost natural as it conformed itself to my hand. As soon as a guard saw me, he dropped what he was doing and ran up to me.
“The Princess wanted me to give you this sir.” The guard said as he presented a small ornate box.
I grabbed the box and examined it for a moment. A ornate gold inlay traced the box and a small metal latch sat on the front. I released it an opened the small box to reveal a small metal in the middle of the blue velvet lined box. The metal was three silver stars that sat in a line. I pulled the metal out and saw that it was a pin. I examined the back and found an inscription.
‘Lieutenant General Ryan Laney of the Celestial guard’
I was a military man now apparently.
I undid the pin and put in on my suit coat, just above my heart. It was official now. I am more than I could have ever become in my world. This made me smile a bit before I realized that I still had work to do. I looked up and saw that the guards were standing at attention in front of me
With Shining up in front.
“Hello Gentlemen.” I began “I was never into formality so this is how it is going to work. You will refer to me a General Laney or Sir. In my ‘training’,” I said making air quotes with my finger still holding the rifle “you will either keep up or drop out. You will shut up or I will fuck you up. Understood?”
“Yes sir!” they called out in unison.
“Good. Rainbow Dash will be working on the physical aspect of your training and you will listen to her or you will answer to my boot. I will work with you on combat. Got it?”
“Yes sir!” they called out again.
“Good to know! You ready for you first lesson?” I asked as if they had a choice.
“Yes sir!”
“Forget all the bullshit boot-camp you were taught right now.” I said flatly.
That seemed to catch their attention quickly. They looked at each other as if they were unsure of how to proceed.
“You got a question?” I asked.
Shining stepped forward and tried to remain as respectful as possible.
“What do you mean by that, sir?” He asked in a genuine tone of confusion.
I took a more aggressive stance as I loomed over them “What I mean, is to forget all that petty bullshit they teach you about ‘fair fights’. There is no such thing. Your only job is to get in and kill your opponent quickly.”
“Kill, sir?” a guard from the back asked.
“That’s right bitch-tits. I said kill. In a close quarters fight, you need to make sure that your opponent will stay down. Your job is to end them quickly.”
“We were only taught to incapacitate sir.”
“Then I’ll teach you. In a hand to hand combat situation, the fight tends to be quick and dirty. The best way to win is to get on top of your opponent and go for his neck with whatever you can find.”
The guards started to chatter amongst themselves. This aggravated me.
“Did I say you can talk?!” I shot at them.
The guards tensed up like stones before I continued.
“Ok. Dash will be here in a few moments and you’ll answer to her. You are dismissed.”
The guards returned to their previous chores as I turned around made my way to the house. I had to come up with a game plan. Then a thought hit me. I turned around and jogged over to the H2. The strap of the rifle hit my legs as I charged head to the car. I skidded to a stop and pulled the trunk open. I searched around the weapons for a moment before I found what I was looking for. I grabbed the G36 and yanked the blue feather from the stock. I closed my eyes in relief and stared at the feather for a moment.
I smiled once before I took the feather and slid it through one of the rings on the scope and tied it down with the left-over string. No one can say that I’m not sentimental. I closed the door behind me and began my walk back towards the house.
I stepped up to the door and pulled it open to see Dash standing there with a black headband on.
“I’m ready to show them how it’s done!” she said eagerly.
“They are all yours.” I replied, motioning in their direction with the rifle.
She shot a smile at me before she brushed up against my leg like a cat and flew off to torture my new recruits. Just like that, I retired to the couch.
-
I awoke to see that the sun was in its evening retinue and shined through the window. The rifle sat across my chest and the pistol’s silencer chilled my leg with cool metal. I felt like I was ready for anything as I climbed off of the couch and walked over to the door.
Suddenly, the door burst open in a flash of colors and Dash landed in the middle of the room. She was panting heavily as sweat beaded down her face. She turned around and closed the door behind her.
“You show ‘em up?” I asked as I walked over to her.
“They didn’t even stand a chance.” She replied “I hope you didn’t do anything to awfully productive ‘Lieutenant’.” She said.
“It was such hard work! I only wish you could have been here.” I shot back sarcastically.
-
-
Dressed, locked and loaded, it was time to hit the up the guards again. I slung the AR-15 over my back. I walked out of the bedroom and continued on my merry way towards the door. I stopped for a moment, adjusted my new medal, and put on my sunglasses. My world took on a tinted blue color as I stepped outside towards the camp.
This was going to be fun.