Camille blinked her eyes and yawned, looking upwards.
Never had the sky seemed so blue.
Never had the birds looked so colourful.
Never had the trees been so perfectly shaped.
Never had the wind smelled so sweet.
Never had her ceiling and walls been so missing… where on Earth was she?!
She pushed herself up, feeling the grass under her fingers. It was so green; it was so soft; it was hyper-real.
A shadow moved along the ground near her and she looked back up into the sky. A horse was flying past. A horse?! It suddenly sunk in… where on Earth she was… not on Earth at all! She was in Equestria.
⚢
Camille wandered past houses familiar from her favourite television programme. She could still barely believe she was in Equestria, and as she'd walked towards the small village she'd spotted in the distance, and realized that it was Ponyville, she couldn't believe her luck.
Her arm was covered in bruises from all the pinches she'd given herself trying to wake up, so she had to accept that this was real… that this had happened. She didn't know how she'd got here, and she didn't know how long she had here — maybe she'd wake up back home tomorrow, or the next day, or in a year. Maybe she'd be here the rest of her life. But however long she had, she was determined to take advantage of it.
The streets of the village were almost deserted but the ponies that were around seemed not to notice her. She gazed up at the houses and buildings she recognized from the television and ended up crashing into a pony and falling onto the ground.
The grey earth pony mare tutted. "Humans," she sighed.
"T–Tavi?!" Camille gasped.
"That's Miss Octavia Melody to you," the pony replied. "And who might you be?"
"C–Camille," she answered, still in shock.
"Cacameel? Silly human names. I meant what's your name here?"
Camille thought for a moment. "Spectrum Shine."
Octavia considered this. "That will do." She started to walk away.
"Wait a minute!" Spectrum Shine called. "Where's Vinyl?"
"Vinyl?!" Octavia replied. "Why it's seven o'clock in the morning. Vinyl Scratch is rarely up before lunch time."
Spectrum Shine smiled. "You two are such a cute couple."
Octavia raised her eyebrows. "Couple? Why, whatever gave you that idea?!"
⚢
Spectrum Shine sat up, rubbing her head.
"Hot cup of sweet tea?" Octavia said, sliding a cup and saucer in her direction.
Spectrum Shine looked around, taking in her surroundings. "You brought me back to your house?"
Octavia nodded. "Well, I couldn't just leave you passed out on the street, could I?"
Spectrum Shine scratched her head, trying to piece together what had happened. That's right! The world spun around, and everything went black. Octavia had just said something shocking. Now, what was it… "You and Vinyl are not a couple?!"
"Well, no," Octavia answered. "Vinyl's my oldest and dearest friend, and well, right now, she's between homes, so she's living with me, but it's not like that at all! Vinyl and I are… well, we're so different. It would never work out. Besides which, I'm pretty sure she's only interested in stallions."
"Stallions?!" Spectrum Shine gasped, clutching her chest.
Octavia rushed over to Spectrum Shine, holding her up, supporting her, and trying to prevent her from passing out again, while Spectrum Shine regained her composure. "Are you… are you okay? You seem to keep having these… well, panic attacks. Is it a side effect of your journey from the human world?"
"I just… stallions? Really? But you're supposed to be lesbian horses!"
Octavia rolled her eyes. "Well, some of us are but really, how would we even reproduce?"
Spectrum Shine shrugged. "Magic?"
Octavia shook her head. "Magic is a precious commodity and can't be wasted on things like reproduction, which can be handled perfectly well without magic. We only use magic for important tasks and when it's strictly necessary, such as for carrying things, running the postal system, defending Equestria against threats to its security, time travel, firework shows, and growing moustaches."
"Errr… right," Spectrum Shine said, not quite sure that all of those qualified as important tasks requiring magic. "Aaanyway… you and Vinyl aren't an item?"
"How many times do I need to tell you? No, we're not. Besides the fact that she prefers stallions, she and I are just friends. We've known each other so long it would be weird to be anything else with her."
Spectrum Shine thought for a moment. "I guess I can accept that. It's just you two were my OTP."
"Your OTP?"
"It means one true pairing," Spectrum Shine explained.
"Yes, yes… I know what it means… but… you mean you ship ponies?!"
Spectrum Shine blushed slightly. "Yes. I guess you could say it was a hobby of mine."
Octavia's jaw dropped open. "Me too!" she squealed. "I love coming up with ideal partnerships for my friends, family members, even just ponies I see on the street…"
Spectrum Shine interrupted excitedly. "… And then you intervene in their lives to bring them together!"
Octavia's eyes shot open and a panicked look came to her face. "Oh, no no no no no no no no NO!" she shouted. "I couldn't possibly interfere!"
"Why not?"
"These are their true pairings… their destinies… their perfect partners," Octavia explained. "They just need to be left to develop on their own. If they're meant to be, then they'll find each other. I'm sure they will."
Spectrum Shine raised one eyebrow. "You're sure they will? Future tense? You mean not one of these OTPs has worked out?"
"Well, not yet," Octavia admitted, grinning sheepishly. "But I've only been doing this for five years or so. I'm sure it will happen eventu—"
"Five years?!" Spectrum Shine stood and put her hands on her hips. "Right, we are putting your OTPs into action today!"
⚢
Vinyl Scratch's chest rose and fell slowly.
"Awww… she's so cute," Spectrum Shine said, watching the mare sleep.
"Pffft! Another reason I could never be with her. The snoring!" Octavia huffed.
Spectrum Shine smiled watching Vinyl for a few moments later before turning back to Octavia. "So, who is your OTP for Vinyl?"
"I still don't get why we had to come to her bedroom to discuss this."
Spectrum Shine shrugged. "Stop avoiding the question."
"Fiiine!" Octavia whined. "It's this hotshot music producer I know: Neon Lights."
"Oh, Neon, yes, that makes sense," Spectrum Shine said.
"And you really think we should try to get them together?" Octavia asked.
"Yus!"
Octavia took a deep breath. "You'd better wait outside for this."
Spectrum Shine looked at Octavia skeptically for a moment, but left the room, waiting in the house's small hallway.
She heard a splashing sound followed by a stream of curse words that she'd never imagined she'd hear straight from the horse's mouth.
⚢
Vinyl sat on the sofa, a towel draped around her neck, eating the breakfast that Octavia and Spectrum Shine had prepared for her. "I still think you could have found a better way to wake me up," she grumbled.
"It's the only reliable way," Octavia replied, putting the bucket away in the cupboard under the kitchen sink.
Vinyl rolled her eyes and kept eating.
"Anyway, I've already told you. Spectrum Shine here is going to make it up to you by buying you lunch."
"Yes," Spectrum Shine confirmed, and recited the line she'd agreed with Octavia, "as a representative for humanity, I'm very interested in booking some gigs for you in our world."
Vinyl looked skeptically at the human. "I thought the events that sent humans and ponies back and forth between here and your world were random and unpredictable."
"Errr…" Spectrum Shine looked at Octavia. They hadn't rehearsed this. "Yeah, they fixed that?"
"Who did?"
"Ummm… alicorns."
"Okay", Vinyl said, seeming satisfied.
"So you'll have lunch with me?" Spectrum Shine asked.
Vinyl shrugged. "Sure."
Spectrum Shine smiled proudly at Octavia.
Octavia coughed and used her head to gesture towards Vinyl.
Spectrum Shine lowered her eyebrows and shrugged unsurely.
Octavia rolled her eyes and pantomimed circle shapes in the air with her hooves.
"Ohhh…" Spectrum Shine groaned in realization. She turned back to Vinyl who seemed not to have noticed the silent exchange between Spectrum and Melody. "And can you bring some of your favourite records."
"Kay," Vinyl answered, finishing the last of her oats. She stood up and walked to the door, yawning. "I'm going back to bed."
⚢
Vinyl trotted towards Savoir Faire's café, thankful for her shades which kept the sun out of her weary, bleary eyes.
"Table booked for Spectrum," she told the waiter once she'd arrived.
He guided her to an empty table set for two and helped Vinyl into a seat. "The other diner hasn't arrived yet."
Vinyl could see that. "Could you get a jug of water for the table?"
The waiter nodded and left.
Vinyl slipped her headphones on with her magic, and started flipping through the records, deciding which she's show to Spectrum Shine first.
Something seemed odd about the whole situation. Vinyl would be the first to admit that she was no expert on humanity, but Spectrum Shine didn't seem to be the kind of person that would be sent as a representative of her species — not that there was anything wrong with her, but she seemed too relaxed, too casually dressed. She would have expected humanity to send somebody wearing more formal attire. Perhaps somebody carrying a briefcase. Somebody with a severe-sounding voice.
She was interrupted from her thoughts when she noticed her cutlery rattling. She looked up to see a stallion seated opposite her, pounding on the table with his hoof. She slipped her headphones off. "Whatcha doing that for?!"
"Ah, so she does respond after all," the grey unicorn stallion said to no pony in particular.
"Neon Lights," the stallion replied. "And you must be Spectrum Shine. I must say, I was expecting a human."
Vinyl corrected him. "I'm not Spectrum Shine. I'm supposed to be meeting her here."
"Hmmm…" Neon scratched his head with a hoof. "If we're both supposed to be meeting her, then why is this only a table for two?"
"I don't…" Gears turned in Vinyl's head. "Wait a minute… you're Neon Lights?! The Neon Lights?"
"Yeah. What of it?"
"I'm a big fan!" Vinyl gushed. "Look," she said, flipping through her records. "I've brought all my favourite records with me and… one… two…" — she counted through them — "three… I dunno… probably half of them were produced by you."
Neon Lights blushed. He didn't really have any "fans": ponies paid attention to the singers, the song writers, the musicians… never the producers. "I… that's a nice thing to say."
"Could you… could you sign some of these?" Vinyl asked nervously.
"Ummm… yeah, of course," Neon said. "You have a pen?"
Vinyl passed him her pen and he went through her records, signing all the ones he'd had anything to do with the production of… which was most of them, as the cute mare had claimed.
Once he'd finished, he passed her back her records and pen. He looked around. "It doesn't look like this Spectrum Shine person is coming. Should we order? I'll pay."
⚢
"Ouch!" Spectrum Shine cried, recoiling from the sharp thorn that had pricked her. "Watch what you're doing! You nearly pushed me into the bush!"
"Sorry," Octavia whispered.
Spectrum Shine peered again through the binoculars she'd borrowed. "I think it worked!" she said, watching as Vinyl Scratch and Neon Lights emerged from the restaurant, joking together and smiling.
"Are you sure?" Octavia asked skeptically.
"Look at their body language!"
Octavia watched the ponies. The kiss — and not just on the cheek — that Neon gave Vinyl seemed to confirm it. "Wow… you're right! I should have set them up months ago… years ago!"
Spectrum Shine smiled at her. "So… any other ponies need shipping?"