//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Hospitality At It's Finest // Story: Reminisce : Swift Slash's Shadow // by Neon //------------------------------// Lyrics and songs mentioned in this chapter belong to the lyrical geniuses on YouTube. (Neon, my other OC, is in here too :D) "Aw come on, I wasn't THAT drunk!" Swift reassured. "You ran into my closet and yelled: 'Where the Hell is Narnia.' " Twilight said. "Oh. I did?" Swift asked. "Yes." Swift and Twilight were both in the library. Twilight was on her bed, while Swift was sitting at the top of the staircase. "What else did I do?" "I think that should be....omitted." "Okay...was it really that ba-" "YES." "Well, fine. Anyway, I'm going to go see if I can find a job. These bits won't last forever," Swift said, walking down the stairs and out of the house. "Hey Twilight?" Spike asked. "Yes, Spike?" Twilight responded. "Do you like that guy at all?" "No Spike, no I do not." "Okay, good. I thought I was the only one." "Well Spike, no need to worry. He can't stay here anymore." "REALLY? Do ya mean it?" "Yes. He is a bad influence for you AND for me! He curses and gets drunk! No way I'm letting anypony like that stay here. I have to see if anypony else can take him in." Twilight exited her house and pondered for a moment: 'Let's see...AHA! Applejack probably wouldn't mind! I mean, she IS one of the nicest ponies I know. **** "No," came the dull response from the orange mare. "PLEASE Applejack? He's a bad influence for Spike, I really need somepony else to take him in," Twilight pleaded. "Ah'm sorry Twi, but he kinda scares me a little. Plus we really ain't got no room fer no other pony." "You mean those GIANT barns have no room for ONE more pony!?" "Well, they do, but they weren't meant fer ponies. They're made fer the animals." "We can arrange things Applejack." "Well, I guess so, be he ain't jus' gone laze aroun'. He's going to have to work the fields." "That's fine, I'll get him to agree. Thank you Applejack." "Yer welcome." *** ' 'Assassins are not allowed' they said.' 'Killing ponies doesn't count as experience' they said... As Swift entered Twilight's house, Twilight was waiting patiently in front of the door. "Ah! Oh, it's just you Twilight. You scared me." Swift said. "You're leaving," Twilight said confidently. "Wha- Huh!?" Swift asked, confused. "You're a bad influence in this household. You going to live with Applejack from now on." "What!? What did I do?" "Let's see, you swear like a sailor, you drink like crazy, and you almost committed first degree murder in my house." 'Not like it would've been the first time I committed first degree murder.' "Ugh, FINE! What are the conditions?" "You have to buck apples with Applejack." "You have got to rubbing my nipples with sandpaper..." "Excuse me!?" "I said you've got to be kidding me." "No, I'm not. Let's go." *** "Sir, we've checked every town on the map, and nopony says they've seen any assassin around," the minion said. "You asked ponies if they've SEEN AN ASSASSIN!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU DUMB PIECES OF-" "Sir, we have a lead on Swift Slash," another minion cut in, coming from nowhere. "We have researched to find that he may be in Fillydelphia, Manehattan, Cantorlot, or Ponyville." "Make Ponyville your last priority. Search in the other towns and tell me your findings." "Yes sir, Mr. Fran-" again, last thing the minion said before his head was cut off by Francis' trademark decapitation sword. "I'm going to run out of soldiers if they can't learn to call me sir...." Francis said. *** "Well howdy partners!" Applejack said in a happy tone. "Hey Applejack!" Twilight said. Here's your new guest." Swift walked up slowly, still with his hood up and waved. "See what Ah mean by: scares me?" Applejack whispered to Twilight. "Anyway, hope you two get along. See ya both later!" Twilight said and galloped off. Applejack gave Swift a cheeky smile and awkwardly said: "Well howdy Swift! Good to see ya. Lemme show you to yer room." Applejack said. The two walked over to one of the spare barns. Applejack had cleaned up the place while Twilight was getting Swift. She had made a small barn into a cozy little house. The barn had two stories, and the second one was where AJ had placed a bed, a drawer, and a night light. "Smells like donkey shit," Swift said. "Well Ah'm sorRY that Ah can't make an animal house smell like lavender," "It's quite all right, I accept your apology," Swift said. "Look here jackass, I don't like you, and-" "I know." "W-wait, what?" "I know you don't like me. I could tell." "How?" "I don't like to brag, (bullshit by the way) but me being an assassin and all, I'm trained to know what's real and what's a hoax. Your kindness towards me? A hoax." "Well, I'd never-" "You really think I'd treat somepony like they're my maid if they liked me? No." "Ah'm mighty sorry Swift. You just...frighten me is all." "And I'm sorry for being too much of a jackass." The two giggled (something Swift has never done in public) and Applejack pulled him in for a hug. Swift accepted. Once Swift was starting to blush, he broke the hug. He isn't much for showing affection for mares. "Well Applejack, show me what I gotta do." "Right this way, partner." Applejack said while directing Swift to the apple orchard. When Applejack got there, she showed Swift a tree to try to buck. Applejack gave a demonstration on the tree next to it. "See? Like this Swift," Applejack said while bucking a tree. Every apple fell. "Fascinating. But wouldn't it be easier to just cut the apples down with my sword?" Swift said while slowly unsheathing his prized possession. "NO,nononono NO!" Applejack repeated. "It's....uh...family tradition to take down apples by buckin' 'em." It wasn't a lie, but AJ was just scared of that damn thing. "Well, okay then," Swift said re-sheathing his sword. "Alright, give it a try partner!" Applejack said. Swift got into position and bucked the tree as hard as he could. Nothing. "Pffff-HAHHAAAAA!" Applejack said, falling over laughing. "That's a good one, Swift. You really got me! Alrighty, try it again." Swift attempted several more times, but only a single apple finally fell. Applejack was having the time of her life. "Ah, Swift, you do NOT know how long it's been since Ah laughed that hard." "Well you know what Applejack? I am not trained to have powerful hind legs. Yes, I can run faster than anypony I've ever met (See? Told you it was bullshit) but I can't buck a friggin TREE!" And with that, Swift punched the tree as hard as he could with his fore-leg hoof in anger. The tree de-rooted and flew back about 10 feet. Applejack's smile was replaced with an awe-struck face with her mouth wide open. "Holy hay Swift. What in tarnation did you do!" Applejack said. "I...punched it? I didn't know I could do that..." Swift said. Every apple on the tree he had punched had landed where the tree would've been. "Well, at least every apple fell..." Applejack said, trying to show the positive side of this situation. "Can you try to do that, but NOT send the tree to oblivion?" Swift punched a few more trees, and only half of them de-rooted. "Well, I guess I'm not an apple bucker." Swift said. "Ah guess not Swift." Applejack said, exhaling. "Just pick up the apples off the ground please? And put them in that basket. When you're done, make yourself comfortable." While Swift was doing what he was told, Applejack saw her big brother staring in their direction. She walked towards Him. "Big Mac! How long you been here?" "A while, who's that fella?" Big Mac said. "He's uh, a guest," Applejack managed to say. "He's got no place to stay so Ah decided to let him stay a little. Is that alright with you?" "Eeyup." Big Mac plainly said. "Just keep your eye on him Mac, Ah still don't really like 'em." Applejack said. "He even took out a couple of trees! Right out of the ground!" "Eeyup." "Big Mac? You EVER say anythang different?" "Nope." **** Once Swift was done with picking up the apples, he decided to wander Ponyville some more, to see every little detail, while Applejack and Big Mac were doing their jobs. 5 days later *Knock knock* "Ugh, who is it?" Twilight said. "It's me! Applejack!" Twilight opened the door. "Ay, Twilight." "Applejack, it's 8:00!" Twilight said. "Ah know Twilight, but this is an emergency! Y'know Swift? He can't live in the barn anymore." "WHAT? Why not?" "We can't afford another pony to live in the barn and do nothing. He can't buck apples so he can't help raise money." "Well, where is he going to go?" Twilight said. "Ah think Ah have an idea..." **** "Fluttershy's house? You think it's a good idea to let him stay with Fluttershy!? He'll give that poor filly a heart attack!" Twilight said to Applejack as they neared Fluttershy's cottage. "Let's just ask her, Twi," Applejack said. *Knock Knock* "Heh....hello?" A small voice uttered. "Fluttershy, it's Twilight and Applejack," Twilight said. Fluttershy opened the door slowly. "Hello girls. What can I do for you?" Fluttershy said. "We need a mighty favor," Applejack said. "Oh? How can I help?" Fluttershy said. "We need to know if you will take Swift in." Twilight said. "Oh...okay...." Fluttershy said. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Fluttershy." Twilight said. "No, no. If you girls need me to take him in, I don't mind," Fluttershy said. "Great! We'll be back in a little." Applejack said. "Thanks Fluttershy," Twilight said. "No problem girls." Fluttershy said. The two mares left Fluttershy's house's premises. 'Oh my, Fluttershy. What have you gotten yourself into?' *** Twilight and Applejack entered the barn Swift was staying in. The sound of steel-on-steel filled the air. Twilight and Applejack went up the stairs to see Swift was on his bed, his back facing them. "Swift!? What are you doing?" Twilight asked. "Sharpening my weapons with a rock," Swift said. "Um, why?" Applejack said. "I'm bored. So, what is it you two need?" Swift said. "Er, okay. Well Swift, you need to leave." Applejack said. Swift's sharpening stopped abruptly. "Huh?" Swift said. "You're going to Fluttershy's house." Twilight said. "What did I do this time?" Swift said. "Not important. What is, is that you're going to Fluttershy's house." Applejack said. "Well, sheesh, don't got to be so rude about it." Swift grabbed all of his things, and then the three ponies left the barn and then headed to Fluttershy's house. *Knock Knock* Fluttershy opened the door meekly. She knew what she was expecting, but Swifts arsenal still scared the hay outta her. "Hey Fluttershy! Say hi to your new guest, Swift!" Twilight said brightly. "He-...hello...," Fluttershy whispered. "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance," Swift said in a British accent Fluttershy whimpered. "Well...I can see where this is going...." Swift said. "Well! Have fun ya'll!" Applejack said while galloping away. Twilight followed. Fluttershy and Swift were still standing outside, awkwardly, looking into oblivion. "Well?" Swift began. "Now what?" "W-well....come in," Fluttershy whispered. 'Thought she'd NEVER say that.' The two entered the house and Swift made himself right at home. "Okay...Swift...there's your bed...over there...." Fluttershy said, pointing to a bed where the Cutie Mark Crusaders once slept. "Great! Thanks, Fluttershy," Swift said loudly, trying to make Fluttershy talk just a little bit louder. Swift saw that Fluttershy was heading outside, so he felt it was only right to try to see if he could help her in any way. "Hey, Fluttershy?" Swift said, "Whatcha doin'?" "I'm...I'm going to go wake up the little critters from their slumber. It's feeding time." "Anything I can do to help?" "Well, can you help me wake up the little guys...if that's okay with you," "Of course it is Fluttershy, that's why I asked." Swift put his things on his bed and followed the meek mare outside. "See those little holes? That's where they're sleeping," Fluttershy said. "Here, let me show you how." Fluttershy tip-hoofed her way to a hole, rang a little bell, and said: "Wakey wakey little guys. It's time to eat." Three squirrels scurried out of the hole, heading to their usual feeding place. "Okay, now you try!" Fluttershy said. Swift grabbed the bell with his hoof,and walked towards a hole. Swift rang the bell and said: "Wake up you little shits!" "Swift! That's not how I told you to do it!" Fluttershy said, loud, as if offended. "I'm sorry Fluttershy, I'm new to this, lemme give it another try." Swift walked up to another hole, rang the bell and said: "Wakey, wakey you sons of bitches! It's time to stuff your fat asses!" 2 hedgehogs slowly crawled out, annoyed with Swift's tone. They flipped him the bird and scurried away too. "That wasn't any better Swift..." Fluttershy said. "That was exactly how you did it! I just modified it....a little." "Well Swift, I guess you can't help me....oh I'm sorry...but...you just stink at this job." Fluttershy spat out. "Well, I'd never!" Swift said, sarcastically. "Well, since I'm not worth anything here, I'll be on my way. I'll be back at around....8 ish?" "Um,okay. Bye..." Fluttershy squeaked. Swift spread his wings and took to the sky, gliding over Ponyville to see what to do when he heard his name being called. "Who is that?" Swift said to himself out loud, looking down to see the source of what was calling him. Pinkie Pie. Swift descended from the sky to see what Pinkie wanted. "Swift! How are you doing?" Pinkie said. "Ah, shitty....and bored," Swift said. "Well, in that case...follow me!" Pinkie said, grabbing Swift's hoof. Swift blushed at this embrace, he hadn't held another ponies hoof before. He had no idea why she said 'follow me' because she was dragging him the whole way. She had brought Swift to a place he hadn't seen yet. But before he could see anything, he heard something. Something loud. Dance music. "We're here!" Pinkie exclaimed, letting go of Swift's hoof. He fell on the ground. Once he got up and dusted himself off, he looked at the obstruction causing this loud noise. He read the sign that read: Club 'HAY!' "Pinkie....where are we?" Swift asked. "Club HAY. I thought you needed to loosen up a bit, so, I want you to party!" 'Loosen up a bit? Has she NOT seen me lately?....Oh right....she hasn't.' "Well, okay." "HOORAY! Come on, follow me. I know the DJs, so we can get backstage time with them!" They walked up to a huge, muscular white pegasus with very small wings wearing a skin-tight T-shirt with the word 'S3CUR1TY' across the chest. He was holding a clipboard. "NAME!" He yelled. "Pinkamena Diane Pie!" Pinkie chimed. "YEAH! WHO'S HE!?" the guard yelled. "Oh, that's my friend Swift. He's cool." "YEAH!" The guard said, letting the two in. *** "You try you're best but it's not quite there, you kick you're hoof and say 'It's just not fair!', a simple mare living simple dreams, a rumor that's not quite as it seems!" One of the Djs sung. He had a very obvious auto tune to his voice. "Wow Neon, that sounded amazing!" Pinkie Pie said to the white coated colt. He and the other DJ had very...unique hairstyles. They were identical except Neon's was black and green and the other DJ's hair was dark and light blue. "Thanks Pinkie! This your friend?" Neon asked, un-auto tuned. "Yes indeedy! Hey Vinyl!" "Wassup Pinkie!" the DJ named Vinyl yelled. "I really can't hear you right now, I'm listening to some beats!" Vinyl had headphones on, revising, by the looks of it. "Uh, Pinkie? Your friend is kinda...." Neon whispered to Pinkie. "I know, don't worry though, he's not going to hurt anypony." "Whatever you say, Pinkie." Vinyl had stopped what she was doing and came over to the three ponies. "So, what's your name?" Vinyl asked, while working on a large object. "Swift Slash, at your service," Swift said, bowing elegantly. "Ha! Funny. I like you." Vinyl said. "Uh, Vinyl? What the Hell is that?" Swift said, pointing at a huge piece of equipment that Vinyl was working on. "Aw, it's nothing special it's just MAH BASS CANNON!" Vinyl said loudly. "Interesting..." "Well you two, we were gonna go start the show, you guys want backstage seats?" Neon asked. "Pshhh! YEEAH!" Pinkie said. "Alright, follow us!" Vinyl said. The DJs showed the two guests where to sit and watch them put on the show. The DJs walked up on stage and Vinyl began: "AWWW YEAH! GOOD EVENIIIIIING PONYVIIIILLE!" The crowd on the dance floor started cheering ear-deafeningly loud. The DJs started cracking jokes on stage to butter up the crowd in case they didn't like the music. "And then she said 'there's no way you can make a dishwasher that cleans dishes with wubs' and I was like 'Screw that I'm Vinyl Scratch!' " The crowd laughed hard at that one. After a bunch of jokes, they began the music. Swift hadn't heard this type of music before, the ponies called it 'Dubstep'. Swift didn't really like it. He thought it sounded like two washing machines having hardcore sex. Although he did like Neon and Vinyl's rap section. He never heard rap before either, but he knew that was what he was putting on his iPod next. Swift wasn't much of a dancer. In fact, he didn't know how to dance for shit. He also couldn't understand a word Neon uttered from the song they called "Rainbow Factory." Altogether, Swift had a good time, despite his lack of movement. It was good to go out and see the actual world rather than the world of swords and ass-kicking all the time. After a while of partying, Swift was tired as Hell, while Pinkie was hyper as Hell. "Well, Pinkie, I think I'll be on my way..." the drowsy Swift said. "Aw, tired already Swift? Fine, see you tomorrow!" Pinkie said. Swift left the club and walked over to Fluttershy's cottage. When Swift got there, it was 10:00. He didn't know how he did it, but he managed to be very late. Fluttershy was sleeping in her bed, so Swift went directly to his bed, thinking about the wonders that lay ahead of him tomorrow.