//------------------------------// // Q&A Part 5: This one got darker than usual... // Story: Sunny, Moonie, Twily // by Jetto //------------------------------// "Hello everybody, welcome back to..." "Sunny!" "Moony!" "Twily!" "Q&A!" "So... anypony has an idea for a clever, funny intro?" "Not really." "Nope. That's your job. You always think of a good topic to discuss." "Okay then. How about... uh... oh, maybe..." "Your sex life is not a good topic." "Then I got nothing." "That means more time for the questions!" Alexander_Krozz asks #askmaresketeers have the three of you, or a combination of any two of you, ever had a falling out, or had a fight so bad that you were afraid that you're friendships with one another was ruined? "No." 2. Moondancer, were you afraid when Twilight and Sunset found out about your litte bedroom activities? Like maybe they would not accept you for it? How did it make you feel when they accepted that you had that hobby? Would you call that a hobby? "Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. Should I be worried?" "I've known Moondancer since before she became... herself. I was gradually experiencing the change and honestly, I can't think of Moondancer as anypony other than she is now." "As for me, I knew full well about her reputation before we became friends. I won't lie, I wasn't very keen on her because of that, but... you know, if I say more than that it would be spoilers, so I'll stop." "And yes, it's a hobby." 3. Sunset I know you can't teach anyone the things you may learn, but are you able to at least talk to anyone other than Celestia about you studies? I figure that she would let you talk to Twilight about your studies, I find it easier to learn things when I can talk about it with a friend. "If Princess Celestia wanted Twilight to know about it, she would've told her already. We can joke about it all we want, but chaos magic is a very dangerous topic. Even the slightest bit of knowledge could prove catastrophic when handled by ones with weak will. Which I'm not, as proven by..." "Spoilers!" "...right, I almost said too much. Either way, the point stays, I was deemed worthy of learning it, Twilight wasn't. In your face, Sparkle!" "Pfft, whatever!" What's your favorite things you have learned about chaos magic? "That's classified... though animating the corpses is always a little amusing." "And disgusting." "Also sacriligious." "And yet I smile everytime I make them dance." 4. Twilight do you know a Princess Cadance? Is she in a relationship with anyone? (No I'm not looking for one with her, sorry) "Of course we know Cadance! She was our, Moondancer's and mine at least, foalsitter while we were growing up!" "Caddy's awesome! She's, like, the second best Princess! Well, tied with Celestia, that is." "She's rarely in Canterlot, though. She's traveling the world and acts as an ambassador for Equestria in foreign countries." "Everytime she visits she keeps bragging about all the studs she's met and dated. Not as much as myself, she's more into quality than quantity." "She's like a refined version fo Moondancer. Three guesses on WHO taught Moondancer most of her tricks. Hint: it wasn't Virgin Sparkle." "Sunny, don't tell me you hate her too?" "I don't hate her. She's alright. Not perfect, just... okay. Definitely more bearable than Moondancer, that's for sure." "Sunny has a cru-ush on Ca-ddy! Not that I blame her." "The only crush I'll have, is your skull when I catch you!" Have you had much time to talk to Princess Luna? "Unfortunately, we didn't. Princess Luna is too busy with getting accustomed to the society, and learning about the current times. She doesn't really have time to meet with mere students. Even the most promising ones... Moonie, what's so funny?" "Nothing! Nothing at all!" Do you know the Muffin mare? "No." "Nope." "Never heard of her." darkvslight346 asks #askmaresketeers 1. Moondancer - Do you have a favorite sex position. "I'm more of a 'flavor of the month' kind of mare, I go with whatever I feel like at the moment. Though if you want me to narrow it down, I'll take those that don't make me walk funny, or leave scars, or break bones, or shave my coat. You know, THOSE kinds." "Moondancer, if you start a story, I'll break your neck, right here, right now, canon be damned!" "No worries. For once, I'd rather forget it myself." 2. Sunset Shimmer - Can I boop you on the head. "No." . . . . Screw it I'm doing it any way (Pokes her horn) Boop. "WH-WHAT THE--!! GET BACK HERE!" "No Sunny, no!" "That's not a good way to lose a fan!" 3. Hey Twilight what do you think of the new hashtag i made for you? Here it is #virginforlife "Moonie, let Sunny go." "What? NO! We need our fans alive!" "LEMME AT HIM!" "He knew what he was getting into." ShadowLDrago @askmaresketeers Do you know the muffin mare? "We already answered it, no, we don't know any muffin mare. Should we?" "She seems popular." Brandon Sky asks #askmaresketeers 1. With Sunset Shimmer's name so closely resembling Twilight Sparkle, would either of you feel like you're just a carbon copy of each other? ...Minus Twi's lack of a sex life and Sunset having a short fuse? "Oh come on, just because..." "...there are a few similarities between..." "...us doesn't mean we're carbon..." "...copies of each other. We're completely..." "...different from each other and you should..." "...know that from reading this far." Moondancer blinked. "D-did you rehearse this?" "What do..." "...you mean, Moon--" "--dancer?" Blink. "You're trolling me, right? This is for all those lewd questions I keep bringing up, right?" "Oh please, do..." "...you think we're so..." "petty to do that? We're rivals and..." "...enemies, there's no way..." "...we could cooperate in..." "...such coordinated manner, especially..." "...in a segment where we don't know all..." "...the questions beforehoof." Moondancer opened her mouth a few times, but decided against saying anything in particular. "Just... next question please!" While she was busy coming to her senses and massaging her forehead, Twilight and Sunset discreetly bumped hooves. 2. I'm curious if Moondancer has ever walked up to anypony and just blurted out "We'll bang, okay?" Not that there's a problem with that, I'm sure some ponies appreciate a little up-front honesty! "I tried it a few times, but... yeah, you'd think it would work like a charm, but not everypony is as eager to jump at first filly that offers herself on the street." "They probably take you..." "...for an underage prostitute, at least..." "that's what I would think." Blink. "You're still doing this?" "Doing..." "...what?" "Nothing. I shouldn't even say anything." "Thats what..." "...she said!" "UGH!" Also, PRAISE THE SUN AND PRAISE THE SOCK. "PRAISE THE SOCK!" Nightdancer Moonblossom asks #askmaresketeers Has anypony besides Sunny and Twily ever walked in while the sock is up? PRAISE THE SOCK. "Yes. More than once." "Was it Princess..." "...Celestia or maybe..." "Ok, can you two stop? This is getting really creepy!" "Stop..." "...what?" "Finishing each other sentences? Doing that horror twin cliche thing? It's so out of character for both of you it's not even funny!" "Okay, fine, miss sensitive, sheesh." "Someponies just can't take a joke." "I know, right? Oh, and praise the sock!" "PRAISE THE SOCK!" "...praise the sock, I guess." Kaijutsu asks #askmaresketeers If you three had never met each other, who do you think would be your best friends instead? "I... can't even begin to think about it. If I never met Twilight and Shiny on my birthday, I would probably still be all alone. With books as my only company." "Hey, books aren't that bad of a company!" "Pfft, yeah, they're THE best." "I didn't say THEY are the best." "They aren't?" "No. You are!" "Awwww, that's soooo sweeet! Hugs?" "Sure, hugs!" They hugged. And it was adorable. So adorable that Sunset was getting gag reflex. "Get a room you two!" "We're already in our room." "Get a different room!" "You know, you could join if you asked?" "Maybe later." "Anywhoo, back to the question, what about you, Sunny? Who would be your friends?" "Nopony. I'd die alone or live a secluded life in search of ultimate power so I could take over Equestria and rule it with iron hoof." Pause. "I'm not sure if she's joking or not." "What about you, Twily? Who would be your friends? Again, Shiny doesn't count." "I... I dunno. I think I could find some classmates to hang out with... or not. "Wow. We're all miserable." "Yeah, we kinda are." "But we're together." "We're miserable together." "Fine by me!" Mustache Merlin asks #askmaresketeers If you had to pick a favorite wizard in all the great annals of history, who would it be? Yen Sid, Gandalf, Dumbledore, Starswirl, Merlin, or maybe someone completely different? "There were many great wizards in Equestrian history and I could probably make a top ten for each category, but if I had to choose only one, it would be Starswirl the Bearded. You can't go wrong with classics." "Since we're not restricted by Equestrian wizards, my vote goes to Elminster. Dude has a style!" "You're only voting for him because he's the lover of Goddess of Magic, did you?" "Like I said, he has a style!" "Sure, he's not bad. But you know who has more style than all of them put together?" "Tell us." "Doctor Strange." "Ooooooooh!" "Nice!" Masterweaver asks #askpsychoshutinandnympho No wait, sorry, that's the wrong hash tag. "I don't know, sounds more descriptive than what we usually use." "Do I smell an alternate universe spin-off?" "We already ARE an alternate universe spin-off." "That would make it alternate-alternate universe! Or alternate universe spin-off of spin-off!" "Too meta." #askmaresketeers Okay, first of all the Ralts line is neither a grass-type or in the grass egg group; it is in fact in the amorphous egg group, and the lore implies that Gardevoir is more of an old-school avenging guardian angel than anything from the mortal realm. Just a little pet peeve, people really don't get that. "...thank you for that." "Just admit you're wrong already, Sparkle. We're all waiting for it!" "Grumble grumble..." Secondly, waffles. Waffles everywhere. "HUZZAH!" Thirdly, how much research have you put into the willing obliviousness of the pony psyche? It seems like such a fascinating topic from a sociological perspective. "That doesn't really sound too useful. What practical use would that kind of knowledge have?" "You could, for example, make a filly realize that she's super sexy and she already has a fanclub that's comprised of ponies that she rejected, whether she knows about them or not." "Okay, two things. One, a single pony, unless a celebrity or deity, doesn't get a fanclub like this. Two, what use would it be to make her realize that she's longed for by a large group. Wouldn't that only make her more flustered and self-conscious, knowing there are dozens of ponies that want to get intimate with her? I can't even begin to imagine how I would feel if there was ONE pony that had romantic intentions towards me!" "Never change, Sparkle." "Thanks, I guess, but why?" "You're the best the way you are." "What? Why are you two looking at me like that?" Neon156 asks #askmareskateers How would each of you engineered the most ideal situation for your eventual SOLO takeover of Equestria and what would you do to the other mareskateers in the event of your complete and utter domination? "I have an easy solution for my plan and I could sum it up with two words." "Free condoms?" "National orgy?" "No, but I like the way you think. My battle plan is..." she raised her hoof in front of her "LOVE AND PEACE!" Pause. "Why did you raise your hoof?" "This would've looked better if I had fingers." "Not even going to ask. Anyway, my turn. And my plan can also be described in two words." "Sun Cannon?" "Unlimited Fireballs? Technically, it's three words, but..." "Nope and nope. Skeleton army!" "That was my second guess!" "Skeletons? Really?" "I was going to say zombie plague, but they die way too easily, are too stupid to control and only ones they can take out are those dumber then they are, which is missing the point. How am I going to rule over the weak if they're all dead? Skeletons on the other hoof? They can be controled easily, bullets and arrows go through their bones and their body mass is so low, enchanting them with magical protection spells would be a lot easier, so there you go. First get all the unicorns that won't cooperate, then the rest is easy. And the two of you could join me... or you could JOIN me!" "You thought this through." "I suffer from insomnia. I have to occupy my mind somehow!" "Ever heard of books?" "Where do you think I learned all those spells from? Anyway, your turn. How would Twilight Virgin Bookworm Sparkle conquer Equestria, eh?" "My plan could be summed up with two words as well. Would you like to guess?" "..." "...uh..." "Come on, it's not that hard!" "I dunno, nothing really comes to mind other than... book fortress?" "Sounds amazing in theory, but it's highly impractical. Keep guessing." "Oh, maybe book cannon? Educates your enemies into not fighting and cuts those who refuse to submit?" "I.... I don't even... NO! This has nothing to do with books!" "Then I got nothing." "The only other thing that comes to my mind is your brother complex, but even I don't think you'd go THAT far!" "First of all, I DON'T HAVE A BROTHER COMPLEX! And second... actually, you guessed right." "I DID?!" "SHE DID?!" "My plan is 'Shining Armor'. I'll get Shiny on my side as a military advisor, since I have no idea how to guide an army and even if I read hundreds of books on the topic, I would only have a tiny comprehension of something that requires experience that I lack, which my BBBFF excells at, but he lacks the knowledge, economic skills, magic and various other things that make a good leader. His strength, barriers and charisma combined with my intelligence, magical power and variety of spells would make us unstoppable!" Pause. "This is the part where I should be snarking my plot out... but this is the most sensible plan so far. Good job, Sparkle." "And since they are both pretty much immune to seduction, along with their respective complexes going off the charts, means they would never turn their backs at each other." "And Twilight has nothing to worry from royalty, because they'll be punched into oblivion the instant they appear in his line of sight!" "And she's smart enough to nitpick the heck out of inconsistencies of any democratic state. They have all their bases covered!" "They praise me... but I somehow feel insulted." Sakuralovelight asks 1) To all 3 of you how would you feel if your life has been a lie and Celestia or Luna was really your mom??? "Hmmm... interesting theory, but before we answer it, can we all agree that due to being imprisoned for ten centuries, Princess Luna doesn't qualify?" "I wouldn't mind if either was my mother. At least then I'd know that my mother is doing something important while she's ignoring me." "This got dark." "And she would at least smile at me whenever we meet." "A-anywho, I don't think there is a way Princess Celestia would be my mother. Genetics gave me attributes from both of my actual parents and I don't resemble Princess Celestia as much. And I really, REALLY doubt my father has enough courage to cheat on my mother, with a Princess, or anypony." "Unless Princess Celestia is your father." Pause. "Thank you for that mental image. It's been a while since SOMEPONY made me want to vomit over an imagine of Princess Celestia doing... with my family." "It was just a joke, I said I was sorry already and it's been three years, get over it already!" "Oooohkay, not a story I want to hear anytime ever. As for me, I am unfortunately also a spitting image of my parents. Not only I have my family's talent in magic, but also hot blood of my father (and his ancestors) and cold heart of my mother (and her ancestors)." "Huh, I think this is the first time we heard you talk about your mother." "Yes, because spoilers." "Oh come on, our fans are dying to know, what's she like?" "Ugh, fine. I'll just say this: if I attended art classes and I was tasked with painting 'motherhood', I would use a a lot of shades of blue and gray. Nothing else." "Yikes. That bad?" "N-no, she's not that bad. She's not evil per say..." "Per say?" "Okay, now we're getting into the spoilers territory." 2) just for Twilight kind of the same as qesting 1 but a little differnt but instead of Celestia or Luna your real parents were Shining armor and Cadence??? "Shiny is only six years older than me, so no. And Cadance is his age. I think." "You don't know, she could be thousand years old." "She told me she's not." "She told you many things." "Then let's assume she wasn't hiding anything else from us." "Even more spoilers." DING DING DING "Well, there's our time running out once again. This one went a lot longer then we anticipated." "It sure..." "...did. Though most of..." "...it was just filler and..." "...elaboration of unimp--" "STOP IT!" There were chuckles. "Fine, fine. Thank you for reading another segment of..." "Q&A!" "...keep sending us more questions and remember to always stay true to yourself!" "Stay what to who?" "I had to end this in some way!" "Think more about it next time." "BYE! BYE!"