The End Is Neigh

by BraxAttacks


Why Am I Here?

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIING!

I smiled a little as the bell signalling the end of a school day sounded. I actually enjoy school a little bit, but today had been horrible. I woke up with stomach pains that lasted half the day, then almost fell asleep in class and got yelled at for that. getting to lay down on a futon and browse the internet would feel good, you know?

Either way, I left the tiny school building(And I do mean tiny, its basically one hallway with rooms branching to the sides) and walked to my bus at a brisk pace. Even though it wouldn't change when the bus left, I still felt like getting on faster would help. Logic.

The ride home was long and boring, with nothing interesting to think about(Other than ponies, obviously), I just looked out the window and stared at the passing blur of trees and houses. I just couldn't get home fast enough.

When the bus finally did grind to a halt at a park only a few blocks away from my house, I leapt out like some sort of jack-in-a-box on caffeine. The brisk and chilly air felt nice, and I took a moment to breath in a huge breath. Feeling more calm than the previously hyper me, I began a relaxed walk home.

Looking around at random trees, I noticed a weird blur on the edge of my vision. Glancing at it, my brain just sort of failed to realize what it was seeing. There, not too far away from the sidewalk, was this random hole in the ground. I don't just mean a pit, either. I mean a hole that looked like it could lead to the world's center and back again.

Using a concentrated burst of commen sense, I decided that the best opscion was to apprach the random pit to hell. I mean, its not like something weird could be afoot, right? Stepping cautiously up to the edge, I peered into the inky black depths extending below. if my mind could tell there was a bottom to fall to, I would have the world's biggest case of vertigo.


That's when stuff got really weird.


A little speck, like a Christmas light, flashed briefly in the hole. I blinked a second, not really sure if that actually happened or not, when this random wind came out of nowhere. I swear, that wind wanted me and me alone, because the grass wasn't even fluttering in it. Just me. Stupid oddly-selective strange phenomena!

Trying and failing (miserably) to back away from the hole, the wind grew even stronger. Forget hurricanes, run way from weird world holes. they are much more dangerous.

Unable to get decent traction on the ground, I flopped forward into the pit. I don't even think I screamed, which is really weird, just sorta went limp and decided that if I was going to die, I was going to die being lazy. A kid holding to his ideals in his dying breath, folks. So heroic.

Turns out the falling took longer than even I thought it would, cause looking at my watch, five minutes had passed. You know, I really should be freaking out. Why aren't I freaking out right now. Now I'm freaking out because I wasn't freaking out about falling to my death. What is happening.

My (horrendously sad) inner turmoil ended, however, when my sight of the fast receding dot of light from the surface was replaced bu more darkness. It wasn't the kind of darkness like some construction workers had filled it in with concrete either, more like I was unconscious. Because I was.


* * * * *


I woke up to the sound of quiet murmuring. I couldn't make any of it out, but hopefully that was because I hit my head or something (You know, something unimportant) rather than aliens speaking in another language. Because then I couldn't ask them for directions home.

When I decided to open my eyes, I did not find aliens or humans. Wait, do ponies count as aliens, because if they do, then I was seeing aliens. Wait, PONIES!?

I became more awake than I ever had been in my life ever before. I tried sitting up right, and found my arms tied to something or other. I looked again, and confirmed that there were ponies in front of me. Well, more accuratly a pony, but that was besides the point. What the point is, is which pony was standing in front of me.

Go ahead, guess.

Don't scroll any further. Guess. have somepony in mind? Here we go. You can scroll down now.


*pause for dramatic effect*


TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!

I just sorta stared at her, and she looked at me with an overload of adorable surprise. Surprise is best adorable. Anyway, we just stayed that way for awhile, beither one of us moving an inch. You could have dropped half a pin and heard it, or maybe and eighth of a pin, I'm not sure.

Then the standstill was broken a sneeze from the one and only (Great and Powerful TRIXIE~!) me. Then Twilight began moving her mouth like she was saying something, but all that came out was a squeak that would have made Fluttershy proud.

This left me to break the ice. And that ice was very cold and hard, uncaring for my feelings and hopes that the process would be easy. It wanted to make my job as hard as it could, and try to give me a bad cold while it was at it.

"Ummm... hello...?"

Twilight let a gasp, and seemed to recoil from me, swooning in a breeze that wasn't there. Thank you for that wonderful help, ice, you make me so happy.

Managing to make a noise other than squeaks and gasps, Twilight spoke in a shaky voice. "y-you can t-talk?"

I nodded, feeling like talking again would somehow make Twilight faint or leave or something, and ruin the situation that got me talking (kind of) to her.

"Um, well... that's unexpected. I didn't... Oh, how do I apologize after this..."

that got a confused look from me, just enough confusion to get me to forget my hastily made rule of not talking. "What do you mean? Apologize for what?"

She seemed to flinch back again, although not from fear. More like she was trying to hide and just leave right then and there. "i um, I'm the one who brought you here..." her voice faded off into nothingness. Twilight, you do realize that you're not Fluttershy, right? You have the characters mixed up a little.

"I don't really mind." I mean, its not like this could cause any problems with any social life and family that I may or may not have, or make any problems with my parents calling the police and causing problems that way. No problems here!

"No... you don't? Really?" Twilight said, seeming less afarid of any problems she may have caused. I was too happy to be speaking to Twilight. Freaking. Sparkle. To be upset or even worried. I gave her a reassuring smile (I hope), and decided to ask the most obvious question ever, other than why ponies don't wear pants.

"Why did you bring me here, exactly?" she seemed to hesitate a little, fumbling for words, before breathing in deep and calming herself.

"I was going to bring a creature from another dimension and experiment on them, but I don't think I can do that now without feeling really bad about myself." She gave an adorkable nervous giggle, and did her best (not that good) casual smile.

Her horn suddenly became shrouded in her magic aura, and I felt the bounds on my wrists fall away. I rubbed them, only now realizing that they were really, REALLY sore. Now another question was raised. How do I get back? "How do I get back?"

She raised her hoof, and opened her mouth to speak, before freezing up. She looked like she didn't know what to say. I'm not sure if that makes happy that it may mean I can stay in Equestria longer, or frightened out of my socks about never going back. "I um... I... can't... I mean, I don't know how! I-I wasn't expecting to have to put you back! Oh, I am so sorry!"

I didn't respond, instead stroking a beard that wasn't there. Sometimes I wish I wasn't only thirteen, but rather old enough to have a villainous pointed goatee! >:)>

"I guess I can stay a little longer than planned..." I almost smiled. Almost. You know why? Because I might get to meet the rest of all the ponies! Wait, that means I can meet best pony. Best pony meaning Pinkie Pie (I am going to get SOOOOO many arguments on that, but meh).

Twilight smiled, glad that I wasn't going to freak out and go on a rampage and eat everypony. I doubt that she actually thinks that (yet), but hay, I can think whatever I want.

She glanced up the stairs leading upstairs (No, the the stairs lead up to the downstairs), and gave me another nervous smile. "So... do you want some tea?"


* * * * *


I drained the last bit of tea from my small little glass. It was so tiny, even compared to my extremely small and thirteen year-old hands. I'm kinda shocked that they have those little finger holds, even though ponies don't have fingers. One of the many mysteries of pony kind that will never be answered.

We had talked a lot about the circumstances regarding my appearance in Equestria. It had started with me asking questions (Many of which I knew the answer of) about general life in the glorious land of the ponies. Place random pony propaganda poster here.

Then she explained more about her life and friends, and explained about how she had begun reading on various theories about dimensional travel and all the weird and interesting creatures that could be out there. Naturally, Twilight immediately wanted to experiment the hell out of one, and used a spell of her own creation (I'm so proud!) to bring me here, without thinking of the possibility of getting intelligent life. Imagine looking behind the fridge and seeing a weird blob thing smoking and player poker with his blob buddies. Its like that.

Now we were talking about where I came from; Earth.

"So, you don't have magic at all in your world?"

"Nope. We just get by using technology."

"How advanced are we talking about, because we have some advanced stuff ourselves."

I instantly though of the perfect example that could ever be used for Twilight Sparkle, the greatest egghead ever to live. "Imagine a metal tablet, about seven inches by three inches. Now imagine that this device can store thousands of books in it that can be read at any time, and has acess to a b=nearly infinate database of almost everything known by our species."

Twilight looked simply dumfouned. I would too, if someone came up to me and said, 'You can go to Equestria.'. Hold on, I am in equestria, and I am talking to the second greatest pony ever to live! I am actually disappointed in the lack of dumbfounding going on here. Shame on you, internet portrayal of going to Equestria, shame on you!

Recovering from her state of shock she looked at me with a borderline 'blasphemy!' face. "R-really? You have those? How is that even possible!" I think she was going into shock. That would be bad for her and my conscious.

"Well, yeah, we have those. Lots of other things that would be considered god-like to you, but in my society they are taken for granted by lots of people who don't even know how they work."

Now her eyes were spinning in their sockets. I'll be honest, it was incredibly entertaining to watch them. Almost hypnotic. Maybe they are weapons in this world, rather than guns. There should be a fan fiction about that. Actually, no, that would be a stupid story, don't do that. I'm serious. Don't. Okay maybe.

She stopped her eye spinning by slapping the side of her head, and decided that the best way to avoid the confusion that comes with human technology was to simply move on. "Well, moving on, what is your society like?"

This was a delicate subject. I wanted to tell her the truth, lying to ponies isn't something I want to do anytime soon. But at the same time, there was a lot of stuff that I really didn't want to tell her. What would I say? 'We fight and kill each other for money and have tons of governmental corruption!' No, I am not going to be the one who does that.

My long pause did not go unnoticed by Twilight, and she looked at me with the most adorable and questioning eyes ever. Then, to ruin that happy image, my brain loudly shouted at me, 'there's porn of you.' With that thought, I wasn't sure whether to laugh at the absurdity of that, or be disturbed. I went with laugh in my head.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. We have a... complicated society, and the're lots of things that I could say. We live in cities, we have farms and such, we have currency. We don't have a monarchy, but a democracy instead. We aren't exactly... peaceful people..."

I dropped that sentence off there, and decided feeding her information in little chucks was probably a good idea. Like a baby. Feed her chucks of knowledge like a baby. I have a plan, people! Be afraid. Be very. Afraid.

Twilight gave me a nervous look now, probably thinking I was going to bust out a sword and start attacking her for no reason. I don't think I could survive in Equestria if everypony thought I was a killer. Actully, I couldn't survive anywhere if I was seen as a murderer. Well that's a sad thought. I feel so happy and warm inside now.

"You... fight other... humans?" The way she said it, it was like she didn't understand the concept, like it was something beyond her comprehenshion. My analogy with babies became a little more real if you understand me. I would have to explain. And I hated having to do that. So I won't!

"look, we can just drop the subject and forget that it was ever brought up, alright?" twilight nodded vigorously, and I felt very, very happy her most likely HUGE morbid curiosity had to be held back with chains forged from the pure awesome that is ponies. Meaning they could not be broken. By anything.

I glanced out the window, trying to do something in the awkward silence that had sprung up. I was surprised to see it was already night time. "Whoa, its already night out! How did that happen so fast?" she looks outside as well, and seems just as surprised as me.

"We talked that long, I guess. Are you yet?" she asked, all hints of awkward gone. I took that as a good thing, rather than a random lapse of memory.

"Yeah, actually. But where am I going to sleep?"

"With me, obviously."

If I had any tea left to cough up, I would taken a sip just so I could spray it all across the table. "W-what?"

Twilight just looked at me funny. "Whats wrong with that?"

Wow. I knew Twilight Sparkle didn't know much about the magic of friendship and such, esoecially the more intamite kind, but this was riduiculas. How do you not know that sleeping with someone is a bold move, one that I personally did not want to take. I am perfectly fine standing here, thank you very much.

Not wanting to leave it at just 'no', I felt that I had to explain this somehow. "Look, where I come from, it is considered weird to sleep in the same bed as someone your not quite... acquainted with."

I don't she understood my barely disguised attempt's at explaining this, because she just looked more and more confused. It was becoming increasingly more adorable, and thus harder to concentrate. "Look, I just wouldn't be comfortable if I slept with you, can we leave it at that, please?"

She blinked a few times. Not really understanding my plight, she still caved in and stopped probing my soul with her eyes of adorableness. Curse them and their -5 to will saves! Curse them~!

Regardless, that was only one bullet dodged, even if it was the size of a bed (literally). "Is there anywhere else that I could sleep tonight?"

"I don't have any spare beds, and we don't even have a couch. If you insists so much on not sleeping with me, then your only other option is the floor." She flashed me an apologetic smile, though I think the floor is much better than sleeping with Twilight. Yes, people who have fantasies about that, I know your reading this. I KNOW EVERYTHING.

"Well, you still should sleep in my room, at least. There's a carpet there, so it will be a bit more comfortable than out here."

"Thanks, Twilight. You have no idea how much your hospitality means to me." She never will, either. Until the day when she becomes as obsessed as any brony with MLP, she will not understand. Oooooo, now I have to make her watch MLP somehow! but how can I do that without so much as an i-pod? First world problems, people.

She trotted up the stairs leading to her room, and opened the door with her magic. I suddenly became aware of ho wenvious I was of magic at that moment. Its every lazy person's dreams! You can open a door, without opening it! Or you can make tacos, without staining your shirt! The possibility's are endless!

Plopping her self down on the very, very tiny bed she had (at least for me), she rolled around so she was facing me. "I still don't understand why you're turning down the bed, Braxton."

Wow, did it feel weird to have Twilight Sparkle use my first name. You have no idea. Its almost like a random stranger just walking up to you and chatting like your good buddies. Kind of unnerving. Still, I couldn't resist making a little joke. "You'll understand when your older."

She stared at me with shockingly adorable rage (Does anypony know how she makes any face adorable? Please? This could be vital information for creating the perfect plushy), and all I could think was, 'Oh the anvil of irony~!'