//------------------------------//
// A Letter from hell 
// Story: A Year in Equestria 
// by dimension shift 
//------------------------------//

It was an early spring morning in a small town a few miles south of Phoenix, AZ there is a two story house on a corner lot with a few rose bushes near the brick fence. As the sun rays was hitting the front windows on the second story the occupant of one of the rooms was stirring from the light the sun was making. With the sun light entering the room, the occupant was groaning from the interruption of sleep as a hand was slamming down on a night stand as if it was looking for something. When the hand found a cell phone the occupant picked up the phone and turned on the screen and looked at the time and date.
 
7:39am Sat, March 1st, 2014
 
“Ugh why is it so damn early.” said a male voice as the occupant lifted himself up from the bed. Just as he was going to get off of bed, he just realized the date and said” Wait I’m off today why am I bothering to get up?” The male fell back on the bed and curled up in the sheets trying to fall back asleep. However as the young man nearly fell asleep, he got another rude awakening as a small figure jumped on his bed sat in front of him and stared right at him. The young man slightly opened one of his eyes and said” What do you want mutt I’m trying to sleep.” The male looked at the little figure which turned out to be a small tan colored pug with a black face and ears, and a collar around his neck with a tag that had the name Grunt, solely named because the pug always made a grunt whenever he was picked up.
 
Grunt the pug just tilted his head slightly as his master spoke to him then moved his head back and continued to stare. The young man turned his body facing the other direction ignoring the stare from his pet, but the pug, not wanting to be ignored by his master, jumped over his master’s legs walked right up his master’s face and started to lick his earlobe. “Ahhh Grunt don’t do that you dumb dog!” the young man yelled as his pet continued his assault knowing his master would cave in eventually. After a few seconds of constant licking the male yelled “All right all right enough of the damn licking already!” and after that statement Grunt stopped his slobbery assault and walked to the end of the bed and stared at his master again.
 
The young man lifted himself up once again and sat on his bed staring right back his dog. “Sometimes I can’t stand you mutt, you know that right?” he said as his dog tilted his head once again waiting for his master to rise from his bed. The staring contest continued for a few moments till the young man sighed and said” Fine I’ll get up so let’s go outside.” After saying outside the dog jumped off the bed and started going in circles in front of the door to the room in excitement. The young man laughed a little as he got up from bed heading to the door. As he opened the door Grunt rushed out the room looking to see if the other occupants of the house were around.
 
As the young man was about to leave his room his phone started ringing a selected ringtone he picked for one person he knew so well but didn’t want to talk to. “Damn it what does he want at this hour?” he said as he walked to where his phone was last then picked it up and answered with a rude tone “Yes John what is it you want now? I thought we agreed to never speak to each other again.” The voice on the other line however wasn’t who he was expecting “Well hello to you to Maxwell, how’s life treating you so far?” Maxwell, or Max to some, groaned as he recognize the voice on the other line. He took a small breath and spoke “Why are you calling me Bridget? I told to never bother me again you gold digging bitch.” He heard a giggle as she spoke “Oh my Maxi do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Anyway I called because I need a small favor from you and Johnny is going to be busy at work.” Angered from her playing innocent he replied “Look I told you before I’m done dealing with you and that bastard, I got all my things out and I’m off the contract for the rent. Both the rent and you are his problem now so the both of you can enjoy yourselves in hell!” He hung up the phone before she could reply and sighed in anger. He heard a small whine near his door and looked to see Grunt with his head and tail lowered looking at his master.
 
Max sadly smiled at Grunt and said “Sorry buddy had to deal with that pain in the ass Bridget. Come on let's go outside.” Grunt slowly walked towards the stairs knowing that his master is upset would take his time to get to the door. Max followed the pug thinking that Grunt could use some more food since he was sad because max’s behavior. Max needed Grunt as much as the pug needed his master since Max takes care of Grunt during the day before he heads to work and Grunt became Max’s best and only friend after his fallout with John.
 
As Max reached the first floor he saw Grunt sitting near the sliding glass door, with his head down, he smiled and said “Ok buddy go do your business and I’ll give you some extra food for being such a good boy.” Liking the idea of extra food Grunt got up with excitement and his tail wagging with glee. Laughing at his dog’s behavior, he opened the door for his dog and the pug rushed outside like a bullet out of a gun. After closing the door to the backyard, Max went to the bathroom nearby to take care of his own business.
 
After his business taken care of, Max went to the sink to wash his hand, an old habit due to his job as a waiter for a restaurant; he looked at himself at the mirror thinking about the phone call he just received. The twenty-four year old young man saw his dark brown hair curled due to bed head. A few sun marks on his cheeks and a beard growing around his face and his nose a little bulbous from his dad’s side of the family. He stared at his brown eyes noting the dull look he made every day whether at home or at work. As he continued to stare at his reflection he remembered the last words John said to Max before he moved out.
 
“You’re nothing but a pathetic excuse for life. Why do you bother living?”

Max just sadly smiled and as he walked back to the glass door he thought “At least I can tell when someone is trying to use me you idiot.” After opening the door for Grunt and giving him a mix of dry and extra wet food, Max decided to make him some breakfast for himself. Silently thanking his mom for teaching him how to cook since he was eight, he worked on making himself a ham, cheese, and bell pepper omelet. While waiting for the pan to heat up for the eggs, Max went to turn on the TV nearby to see if anything interesting happened on the news. When he found the channel he was looking for, the newsreel was barely coming back from commercial.
 
 “If you’re just tuning in we just received word that the United Nations have concluded a special session to debate on a development for the nonaggression pact with Equestria after the recent disappearing and reappearing of the portal to Equestria a few days ago. After the portal in Central Park reopened a representative, who we cannot identify at this time, came through the portal to hold a session with the members of the UN to discuss the cause of this irregularity. We will keep everyone updated when more information is available.” Max sighed with frustration from what he heard on the television. “Great more political BS, it has been over a year can they stop talking about those ‘phonies’ or whatever they are called and get on to something different.” Max said as he went to change the channel to something more entertaining and continued to cook his breakfast.
 
After he finished making his omelet, with a side of sourdough toast with butter, he placed his plate on the table and sat down to eat. As he was about to take a bite out of his omelet he heard a knocking at the front door as well as the doorbell ringing. Confused he looked at the clock hanging on the wall to check the time: 8:39 a.m. “That’s odd I didn’t order anything and it’s far too early to receive any priority mail.” Max said as he got up from the table and headed to the door with Grunt barking like crazy from the door bell. After silencing Grunt he looked at through peephole to see if there was anyone there but found that something was blocking the glass. Curious he opened the door and saw an envelope taped to the door.
 
Taking the letter off the door, Max closed the door and headed towards the kitchen island. Taking a look at the envelope he saw that it has his name on the front but no return address or stamp. Max, confused about the envelope only having his name but no way of returning it, turned the envelope to the other side to see a wax seal of a horseshoe on it. “Who the hell uses wax seals anymore?” Max wondered as he decided to open the envelope to see who went to the trouble of sending him something. After taking the letter out of the envelope, not noticing the broken seal giving a strange glow, Max started to read the letter with curiosity.
 
Dear Maxwell Hernandez,
I would like to congratulate you on being one of the few selected individuals to experience an opportunity of a lifetime. If you so choose, the diarchy of Equestria would like to too invite you to be part of an experiment in which several individuals, such as yourself, will spend one year in Equestria to experience the world of the ponies through your eyes. If you agree to be part of this experiment the diarchy of Equestria will greatly compensate both you and your family as a way of saying thank you for accepting this opportunity, and while staying here in Equestria you will be staying with one of our citizens during your time here as well as learning our culture and way of life. If you choose not to accept our offer then we would like to thank you for your time and hope that you will have a pleasant life. Please respond by signing your name and checking one of the spaces below before March 31st 2014.We hope to hear from you very soon.
Thank you once again,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
 
I_______________________________________ hereby sign my name and response to the equestrian government.
__ I accept your offer and would like to be part of this experiment.
__I decline your offer for this Experiment.
 
“What the hell is the for real?” Max asked himself as he reread the letter to make sure what he was reading was correct. After reading the letter for what seemed the third time Max just stared at the letter for a moment then just started laughing. “Oh my god I can’t believe someone’s wasting their time with this shitty prank. I mean the princess of Equestria inviting me to live there for a whole year HA!” Max laughed as he held onto the kitchen island trying to keep him balanced. After he calmed himself down max just stared down the letter and said “Oh man I really needed a laugh after what happened this morning. Well guess I can call this stupid prank junk mail.” Max took the letter and envelope and tore them both to pieces, and then throws the pieces in the garbage. “Well time to finish my breakfast.” Max stated heading towards the table, not seeing the cabinet that held the garbage can glowing briefly.
 
After breakfast Max took a change of clothes and headed to take a shower. With a shower and dental hygiene finished, Max emerged from the bathroom wearing a grey t-shirt over his slightly overweight torso, with blue denim pants on his legs, and thin rim glasses over his eyes. Max noticed Grunt lying on the floor in front of the door and said “Enjoying your nap their buddy?”  Grunt stared up to his master and wagged his tail. Laughing, Max went to his room and turned on his computer. While waiting for his outdated computer to boot up he headed to his phone to see if anyone called him. After seeing no missed calls he thought “Wonder if anyone on my friends list is playing Battlefield 4 right now?” Heading to his computer he turned his chair around and just as he was about to sit down he found a big surprise.
 
On his computer chair sat an envelope that had his name on it, resembling that of the letter he tore up downstairs. “Where the hell did that come from?” Max thought as he examined the envelope. Taking a closer look he noticed that it was an exact copy of the one in the garbage. Turning the envelope around he saw the wax seal was still broken as if someone opened it. Taking the letter out of the envelope he read it and confirmed it was the exact same latter from earlier. “What the hell is going on?” Max thought as he stared at the envelope. When taking a closer look he noticed there were words on the bottom left of the envelope that was not there before.
 
You better respond properly this time.
 
Max dropped the envelope in shock thinking someone broke into his home. After checking all the windows and doors were still locked and in one piece Max headed upstairs and looked for the envelope but found that it wasn’t on the floor where he dropped it. “What the hell where did the letter go?” Max thought as he searched the floor. Not being able to find it he just shrugged and said “Must have been my imagination getting the better than me.” After sitting down on his chair took his Xbox controller in hand and turned towards his TV but when he turned to the TV he found the letter taped to his Xbox One.
 
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!” Max yelled as he got up from the chair and took the letter off his console. When he took the letter off he looked at the envelope and saw the words on the bottom corner changed. You need to take better care of your mail. Max stared at the letter in his hand, not able to think on how the words changed from a few minutes ago. “Need to take care of mail better huh? Well whoever is doing this is not going to like this.” Max thought as he turned to Grunt with a sinister smile. “Hey buddy you want to play tug-o-war with me?” Max asked his dog as the pug wagged his tail with his master wanting to play.
 
Max took the letter and presented one half of it to his dog. Grunt sniffed his half of the letter then took it in his mouth then started tugging. Max and Grunt pulled each other’s half of the letter, rips forming in the center of the envelope. With one final tug the whole letter ripped, with Grunt shaking his head furiously with the letter in his mouth. Laughing at the pug’s actions Max took Grunt’s half, covered in the dogs slobber, and threw both halves in the trash. While Max walked back to his chair he didn’t notice his trash can glowing from the letter with the words on the envelope changing once again.
 
Of course you realize this means war
 
After an hour of playing on his Xbox, Max decided to get something to drink. When he arrived to the kitchen he opened the cabinet where all the cups were stored. After taking a cup he headed to the fridge and opened the door. When he opened the fridge to get some tea however, he saw the same letter from before back in piece with new words than before. You think dog slobber is going to get rid of me? Max stared at the letter then took it out of the fridge and thought “Ok what the hell is going on here?” putting the letter on the kitchen island he took the pitcher of raspberry iced tea and poured some into his glass and put the pitcher back into the fridge. When he looked at the envelope he saw the words changed once again. The only way to get rid of me is to respond this letter. Max angered at the somehow taunting letter and said “We’ll see about that.”
 
Two Hours Later…..
 
“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU DAMN LETTER FROM HELL?”  Max yelled as he found the letter mysteriously appeared in his desk in his room. For the past two hours Max had an all out war against the letter trying to destroy the letter anyway he can. We went with conventional ways of getting rid of a letter such as using a shredder in the office to the most unusual ways from burning the letter with a lighter and aerosol can to shredding it up and flushing it down the toilet. Yet every time he thought he got rid of the letter it would always appear in a place he sees, for instance it appeared inside the container where Max kept Grunt’s dog treats. Every time the envelope returned it would always leave a message just to antagonize him even more of his failure.
 
You thought leaving me in a hole with your dog’s droppings will stop me?
 
“I will admit not one of my better ideas.”  Max thought though it pained him to agree with his unbeatable foe. Sighing in frustration young man took the letter in hand and said “Look you stupid letter, you have been tormenting me all day I told you once and I will tell you again I WILL NOT SIGN MY NAME ON HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” “HEY CAN YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE UP THERE!” Max heard a woman yelling from outside his home. He looked out the window and saw a married couple with their two kids walking past his house with the parents covering the kids’ ears. Max sheepishly smiled and said “Sorry I’m just uh… rehearsing for a play I’ll keep it down from now on.” The couple just shook their heads and walked off in a hurry trying to get away from the crazy young man.
 
“God that was embarrassing.” Max thought as he closed his window slightly leaving a crack and sat on his bed. After taking a few minutes to collect himself Max looked at the demonic letter in his hands. As he looked at the envelope the young man thought “This damn thing just doesn’t make any sense.” He closed his eyes for a moment he opened them and the words once again changed while he wasn’t looking. Oh Maxi what fun is there making sense. Max stood up and headed to his garbage can and when he reach the trash can he said “I don’t care anymore. Go ahead and try all you want I will never sign it.” With that Max threw the envelope into the garbage, closed the bin and walked away. While walking downstairs, the envelope glowed an eerie green color and the words changing once again.
 
Be careful what you wish for.
 
Max reached the first floor and decided to get himself some lunch. Not too sure on what to make Max headed to the fridge to get an idea on what to eat. When he opened the door however, an avalanche of envelopes fell from the inside of the fridge. Max was shocked when all the food in the fridge mysteriously vanished and was replaced with letters, with each envelope having the words: Sign the letter. Max moved away from the fridge and headed to the pantry trying to ignore the demonic letters. As he opened the pantry more envelopes rained down on him each saying the same as the fridge. Curiously he opened a nearby cabinet and found even more letters fell. Choosing to ignore the current events he went back upstairs to his room and closed the door, thinking his room would protect him from the outside.
 
Max looked around his room to see if his room has been assaulted as well from the letters but found there was nothing out of the ordinary. Sighing in relief the young man walked to his bed and lay down but found his bed took a rougher texture. He jumped off his bed and on it laid nothing but more envelopes where his sheets use to be. He took a step back and left paper being crunched on his feet, he looked down and the entire floor was littered with letters. He looked up at his bed and noticed the pile has gotten bigger than a moment ago; he quickly looked down and saw the letters on the rose from the bottom of his feet to his ankles. The young man quickly headed to his door to get away, but when he opened the door letters rushed in his room creating a tidal wave of mail.
 
Being surrounded waist deep, Max tried to get away from the sea of letters anyway he could. The young man however, noticed that the more he moved the higher the envelopes went. He tried to stand completely still not wanting to drown in letters, but it was pointless as the envelopes continue to rise regardless of his actions. He looked at the letters, seeing them just below his neck, with each letters having the same words: You know there is only one way out of this. Max, being out of options, sighed and said “Ok you win I’ll sign the damn thing just put everything back to the way it was.” He looked the letters, which have rise all the way to his nose, reading the words on the envelopes: You didn’t say please. Sighing in frustration he closed his eyes and yelled “PLEASE PUT EVERYTHING BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS!”
 
After a minute of silence, Max opened his eyes and saw that he got his wish. The entire sea of envelopes simply vanished and everything was in its proper place. Max started laughing like a madman from his current experience. When he calmed down, the young man walked to his room and stared at his bed. Right in the middle of his bed was a single envelope with his name still on the center of it. Despite the headaches the envelope gave him throughout the day, Max wanted to get this over with.
 
Taking the letter out of the envelope and a pen off his desk, Max sat on his desk chair and signed his name. As he was about to check the decline option, Grunt choose the opportunity to jump on his masters lap. “Grunt get off of me!” Max said not noticing his pen touched the letter. As Grunt jumped off Max’s lap the letter and envelope burst into flames and the dust flew off through his still open window. The young man blinked, not sure of what just happened, and said “Guess I should've done that sooner.”
 
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
 
Max jumped as he heard the front door knocking. After silencing Grunt, the young man walked to the front door and looked through the peephole. When he looked through he saw it was blocked like before. Cautiously he opened the door to find another envelope taped to the front door. Taking the letter off the closed the door, broke the same wax seal as before, and read the letter.
 
Dear Maxwell Hernandez,
We would like to thank you for agreeing to join in our experiment. As stated in the previous letter you and your family will be greatly compensated for your time here in Equestria and your living arrangements will be settled upon entering our world. We would like for you to be at the portal in New York City on March 31st 2014 by 9:30 a.m., air travel will be complementary for your convenience. We hope to see you soon and have a pleasant day.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
 
Max couldn’t believe his eyes after reading the letter. “I didn’t agree to do this I checked …” Max thought as a sudden thought enter his head. He didn’t see what box he checked when Grunt jumped on his lap only felt the pen touching the letter. When realizing he could have checked off the agreement by mistake, Max only had one thing to say “OH FIND ME IN THE ALPS!”