Starlight was going home.
While on her way north, she had considered just continuing on to the Crystal Empire beyond the mountains. However, she'd soon decided that she could hardly keep herself a secret right under Princess Cadence's nose, not to mention Twilight's older brother. No, going back to her old village was much safer for her. Besides, it just felt right. Even the dirt beneath her hooves felt familiar and strangely comforting, in spite of all the terrible things that had happened here.
"Starlight Glimmer?!" a high-pitched voice rang out.
Starlight stiffened involuntarily. Despite having made her apologies and her peace with the ponies of this nameless town, she felt more than a little awkward coming back here. She had her wings hidden under a light gray vest, and had been hoping to settle back in with minimal fanfare. That had just become very unlikely.
"Starlight Glimmer, is it really you?" the cheerful voice called again. The pony it belonged to was trotting over to her.
"Hello, Sugar Belle!" Starlight forced a smile onto her face. "It's really me."
"What brings you here?" Sugar Belle asked. For all her happy greetings, she kept a bit of distance between herself and Starlight. She nodded toward Starlight's full saddlebags. "Are you planning to stay a while?"
Starlight nodded. "Twilight gave me a vacation," she lied. "I thought if there were anyplace I could put my friendship lessons to the test, it was here." She even managed not to choke too badly when she mentioned Twilight and her lessons. "I've actually got a gift for you."
Starlight reached into her bags with her telekinesis and pulled out a book with a picture of an extremely haughty looking griffon on the cover. She floated it over to Sugar Belle, who took it with glee.
"A recipe book by Gustave le Grand?" Sugar Belle squeaked. "Thank you!" Her previous trepidation forgotten, she threw her forelegs around Starlight's neck and pulled her close. After another round of pleasantries, she trotted off happily to see what new confections she could make. Starlight was left blissfully alone, but that didn't last very long. She exchanged words, hoofshakes, and hugs with almost everypony in town on the short walk to the other end of the village.
As she neared her old building, she realized that there was a problem. Somepony else's things were outside it. Starlight looked around awkwardly.
"Is someone living there?" she asked the pony next to her, a shy unicorn named Velvet Snow.
"Oh, yes," Velvet answered with some trepidation. "Party Favor has been running things since you, um, left."
"Oh," Starlight answered. Somehow she hadn't thought of that. Well, no matter, surely there was a place she could stay. "Are any of the other houses empty?"
"Um, just one," Velvet said. She pointed to a very particular house. The only house with a door that locked from the outside. A house with two tall windows too narrow to escape through. "The one you—I mean, we—used to use for..."
Brainwashing, Starlight finished the sentence in her mind. She suppressed a grimace at the dark memories of locking ponies in there for daring to think differently, for wanting to be something special. For being unequal.
Now she, who could never be equal to the others again, could stay there forever. It had a certain poetic justice to it.
"That'll do just fine," she assured Velvet with a warm smile. "Do you think Party Favor would mind if I stayed there while I'm on my vacation?"
"Not at all," a youngish stallion's voice answered. Starlight and Velvet turned to see the pony in question walking up the road toward them. "Starlight Glimmer," he said happily, "it's good to see you again."
"And you," Starlight replied. She still felt a flutter of nervousness looking at him. She had been particularly harsh on Party Favor near the end. However, if his bright eyes and easy smile were anything to go by, there were no hard feelings.
"But are you sure you want to stay in that house?" Party Favor asked.
Starlight nodded. "It's perfectly fine," she insisted.
"Well, alright," he said. "If you're sure, then you're welcome to it for as long as you like."
Starlight favored him with the best smile she could muster. "Thank you."
"Of course! Drop your things off, then maybe we could catch up over tea? Unless you'd prefer hot cocoa," he added hopefully.
"Tea sounds lovely," Starlight replied.
"Oh." He tried not to sound too crestfallen. "Tea it is, then. See you soon!"
"Thank you," Starlight said again. She walked slowly over to the vacant house and lifted the latch. It would be a little strange having to sleep with the door unlocked, but these were good ponies. Even with all she'd done, she could trust them. Probably.
Starlight used her magic to unlatch and open the door. Musty, stale air wafted out as she did so, causing her muzzle to wrinkle involuntarily. It seemed that nopony had used this place at all in the more than a year she'd been away. The windows didn't open, either, so she had no choice but to leave the door hanging wide open so she could air the place out.
Starlight dropped her bags near the door and looked around at her new home. She'd seen it plenty of times before, of course, but never with the prospect of staying there for any length of time. Bare walls, no furniture except for a single shelf attached to the stone, a feeding trough in one corner. Starlight shook her head. How had she ever thought that this was a way to promote friendship? Making this place fit for a pony to live in was going to be a project, but it was one that would have to wait.
Before leaving to visit with Party Favor, Starlight crept into one of the corners of the room, out of sight of the door and windows. There, she cautiously removed her vest and stretched out her cramped, aching wings. They extended slowly, the joints cracking, causing her to bite back a groan of discomfort. She gave a few flaps to loosen them up, then put the vest back on. Hopefully she'd find a better way to hide them soon, or else this was going to be a very long rest of her life.
"So you run the town now?" Starlight asked. She warmed her hooves on the cup of tea that Party Favor had given her.
Party Favor's horn glowed, using his magic to keep adding spoonfuls of sugar to his cup as he spoke. "Oh, there's not all that much to run," he said modestly. "Ponies around here take care of themselves, more or less. Oh, where are my manners? May I take your coat?"
"No!' Starlight exclaimed. Her wings fluttered with agitation beneath the vest that he'd mistaken for a light jacket. She cleared her throat. "I mean, um, no. Thank you, I'm fine."
"O...kay?" He finally stopped adding sugar to his tea and stirred it. Starlight was rather surprised that what was in the cup was still liquid. "What brings you back here, anyway? Not that we're not happy to see you," he hastened to add.
"Princess Twilight gave me some time off," Starlight said, repeating her lie from before. "I thought that this would be the perfect place to put what I've learned to the test."
"Well, we're glad to have you. How long are you in town for?"
"I'm not sure," Starlight answered. That, at least, was the truth. "She'll get in touch when she's ready."
Party Favor must have noticed something in her voice. "Did something happen?" He leaned forward. "This doesn't sound like a regular old break."
Starlight sighed. "We... had a falling out." She looked for the right words, for a way to explain what had happened without really explaining what had happened. "I didn't agree with the direction her lessons were taking. I didn't want what she wanted for me. So I left."
"Sorry to hear that." Party Favor fiddled with his untouched cup of tea. "Are you planning to go back?"
Starlight took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I don't know," she said. "I don't think so."
"I see. Maybe in a week or two, after you've both cooled off?"
"Maybe," Starlight agreed, though she didn't believe it for a moment. Twilight had betrayed her trust, tricked her into something that could never be undone. Though, she mused, she was an alicorn now. She'd have the rest of eternity to come to terms with it.
Eternity. The thought of living forever terrified her, and she'd been pushing it away ever since her transformation. It was true that she wasn't quite like Celestia and Luna, so maybe she wouldn't have their longevity. But maybe she would. Maybe—
"Starlight?" Party Favor's voice broke in, freeing her from her thoughts before they could spiral too far. "You look like you're gonna be sick."
"I'm alright," Starlight said. That was the biggest lie she'd told yet. "I'm sorry, I think the trip is catching up with me."
"Of course," Party Favor replied. "While you were putting your things away I asked a couple of ponies to get a mattress into that house for you. It's not much, but—"
"That's wonderful, thank you," Starlight broke in. "I'm sure I'll be fine once I get some rest. Please excuse me." It was still the middle of the day, yet Starlight wanted nothing more than the privacy of her new home and the comfort of a bed, even if it was nothing but a mattress on a stone floor.
She went straight for her new home, brushing by other ponies with half-hearted pleasantries and excuses. After a few minutes that seemed to last far too long she finally shut the door behind her. Starlight wondered briefly if sealing it shut with a spell would be going too far, then decided that if everypony else had locks on their doors, then she should too. With a flash of her horn the spell was cast, ensuring that only she or another skilled unicorn could open the door.
The windows were another problem. She had nothing to cover them with, and anypony walking by would be able to see inside. She eventually settled on a simple privacy spell, which created an effect like frosted glass. It made it so anyone looking through would see only indistinct shapes, and had the added benefit of blocking some of the light streaming in.
With her new home as secure as she could make it at the moment, Starlight collapsed onto the mattress. She'd expected something lumpy and hard, matching the squalor of her new home, and was pleasantly surprised to find it quite comfortable. They'd even given her sheets and a blanket. Starlight squinted carefully at the windows, trying to judge just how much somepony looking in would be able to see. She decided that it was safe enough to remove her vest, which she carefully folded and set on the only shelf in the room.
Starlight then forced herself to look at the awful things she'd been hiding. Her wings were well-formed with a good span, and felt very strong. They might have even been attractive on another pony. To her, they were and would always be utterly repulsive, a symbol that she'd become everything she used to stand against.
Some ponies were different from others. She'd come to understand and even embrace that fact. Ponies had different skills, different strengths, and that was exactly what made life so rich and interesting. However, that did not mean that they weren't fundamentally equal to one another. Her life's journey thus far had led her to the conclusion that sameness and equality were two very different things, and her fixation on the former was where she had gone so wrong. Now, though?
How could she make any pretenses to equality with these awful wings marking her as royalty? When her magical powers, which had peaked long ago as a unicorn, would now continue to grow day by day? When the ponies around her would age, sicken, and die, and she would perhaps just keep on living forever?
Forever. Starlight couldn't fend off that idea any longer. With another burst of magic, she hastily cast a soundproofing spell on the house so the ponies outside wouldn't hear her cry.