The Stick of Truth: The Equestrian Chronicles

by Antojo Pony

09. Discord Explains It All

Location: Ponyville

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and the New Kid left the burrows and stepped into the bright afternoon sun. “Gah,” hissed Scootaloo as she tried to shield her eyes, “Too bright.”

Ignoring Scootaloo’s complaints, the New Kid reached into his pockets and pulled out the bag of magical gnome dust for them to sniff. The world seemed to spin around as everything around them seemed decreased in size.

“Well that was a rather strange experience,” said Apple Bloom once she was her normal size. She was a bit dizzy from the dust and her eyes kept spinning as they tried to adjust themselves. “Now I know how Applejack felt when she stepped in poison joke.”

“We just finished our first dungeon and won our first boss fight!” said Scootaloo with excitement. “Just look at all the cool loot we got!” She dumped the contents of the sack they were storing their loot in onto the ground. While the spoils of their adventure were well earned, it was mostly worthless junk. “Maybe I can buy a gold necklace with this.”

“No offense Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle as she poked her hoof through the pile of loot. “Most of this stuff is plain garbage.”

“Hey, one pony’s trash is another one’s treasure,” said Scootaloo as she examined a tuff of rabbit fur. “I’m sure we can get a pretty bit from this stuff. Isn’t that right Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom did not answer. She along with the New Kid was staring at something in the distance. It was floating mid air and was approaching them. As it got closer it turned out to be a large colorful box with many colorful balloons tied to it. It slowly floated towards them until it stopped in front of Scootaloo. Scootaloo looked at the box and on top of the box was a pink party invitation addressed to the New Kid.

The invitation was bright pink and covered in glitter. When Sweetie Belle opened the card, confetti poured out from it. The New Kid grabbed the invitation while Sweetie Belle tried to get bits of confetti out of her mouth and read the card.

Dear new friend.

Welcome to Ponyville! This is your official invitation to your welcome party this evening at Sugar Cube Corner. Hope you can make it!

Sincerely,

-PP

Scootaloo opened the box and her face was met with a blast of confetti and trumpet fanfare. Inside the present box was yet another box. “Is this some sort of joke?” growled Scootaloo as she spat pieces of confetti.

“Look!” said Apple Bloom. When saw the tag, stamp and address they realized that this was a postage box.

Packages found 4/5
Friend Request:
9. Pinkie Pie

“And now we only have one left,” said Sweetie Belle.

“But we have no idea where it is,” muttered Scootaloo.

“Maybe we ask ponies in the market?” suggested Apple Bloom, “we have to go there anyways since we have a lot junk to get rid of and a quest to turn in.”

“We’re also low on potions,” added Sweetie, “Being on fire hurts a lot.”

Apple Bloom looked at the nearby clock tower, “Wow, it’s already late in the afternoon. Pinkie’s party starts in few hours. We have plenty of time, let’s go!”

Apple Bloom started running towards the road in front of Fluttershy’s cottage but stopped when something hit her on the head. She turned around to find Angel Bunny standing in front of the door of the cottage holding a large orange ball of yarn.

“What do you want now?” asked Scootaloo.

“OUCH!”

Angel Bunny threw another ball of yarn and it hit Sweetie Belle’s jaw. He turned to the New Kid and gave him what the New Kid could guess was a signal to follow him inside the cottage. The inside of Fluttershy’s cottage was surprising dark. With all the windows boarded up, there was not a source of light besides the small black candle that Angel Bunny was holding.

“Where’s Fluttershy?” asked Scootaloo.

Angel Bunny pointed at a direction but it was hard to see where he was pointing too in the dim light.

“Why’s it so dark in here?” asked Apple Bloom.

Angel Bunny wanted to point out that he couldn't reach the light switch to turn on the light but instead settled with throwing a purple yarn ball at Apple Bloom. He face gave a wide smirk when the ball of yarn smacked Apple Bloom’s face.

“Ouch, stop doing that,” said Apple Bloom. “It’s so dark in here, can’t somepony turn on the lights?”

“I got them,” said Sweetie Belle. She stumbled around for a few moments before finding the switch.

The crusaders stared at shock at the sight in front of them. The center of the room was a mess; the coffee table that was normally in the center was smashed into bits. There was a large hole in the ceiling that was cluttered with debris that looked like it could collapse at any moment.

The new kid and the crusaders cautiously approached the smashed table. It was beyond repair and the New Kid saw what appeared to be a tuft of blond hair.

“Ouch!”

Angel had thrown another ball of yarn at Sweetie Belle. He had an impatient look was now pointing at the open door.

“Geeze, no point in being so rude,” muttered Apple Bloom. The crusaders left the cottage while being pelted with yarn balls. Angel Bunny gave the New Kid a slight bow before slamming the door hard in their faces.

There was a loud rumbling sound and the ground began to shake. A cloud of dust rose from the debris. It seemed the force of the door slamming shut was enough to cause the ceiling to cave in.

“Well that happened,” said Scootaloo, “Oh well, let’s go to the marketplace.”

“We can’t leave Fluttershy’s cottage in ruins,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yes we can,” said Scootaloo, “For once, we’re not responsible for property damage and if we try to help, chances are that we are going to end up in tree sap. No, I want to go on exciting quests, not some boring construction quest.”

Sweetie Belle reluctantly agreed and the group followed the road toward the marketplace. By the time they got there, it was late afternoon but there was still much activity. The section of the market that was raided by the bunnies was now clean and restored. The flower ponies were finishing applying a new coat of paint to their stand.

“We did it,” said Apple Bloom, “We’ve dealt with the bunnies.”

“Really?” asked Rose with skepticism.

“Yup!” said Sweetie Belle cheerfully, “We went to Fluttershy’s cottage and found their base in a nearby hill. They were being controlled by this crazy squirrel. He was obsessed with satin and blood oranges.”

The flower trio stared at the crusaders unsure if to believe them or not. Then they turned their eyes towards the New Kid. “Is that true?” asked Daisy.

The New Kid blinked.

“Well then,” said Lily, “I guess we owe you our thanks. If you ever need any flowers, don’t hesitate to stop by our shop. Oh by the way, we received this package by mistake this morning, can you return to the post office for us? We’ll make it up to you, we’ll give you discount on your next purchase.”

Packages found 5/5

QUEST COMPLETE
“Furry Little Problems”

3 New Friend Requests:
10. Rose
11. Lilly
12. Daisy

Ten Friends Milestone Reached!
Perk Unlocked: “Earth Pony Toughness” – Apple Bloom gets +X armor. X is equal to her current level.

“That’s it?” said Scootaloo after they left the flower stand. “We don’t even get some kind of reward?”

“Scootaloo,” hissed Apple Bloom, “Heroes aren’t always rewarded for their deeds.”

“I know,” said Scootaloo, “But they usually get some compensation you know, like a free stay at the inn or a something.”

“But aren’t we banned from the local hotel?” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah, but it’s the thought that counts,” said Scootaloo.

“I knew that cutie mark crusader bug exterminators were a bad idea.” Apple Bloom muttered.

“I heard that they finally got rid of their termite problem last week,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Well it took them a while because Fluttershy convinced the owner not to exterminate them,” said Apple Bloom. “He’s not very happy with her and I heard that he’s looking for construction workers.”

“Hey!” shouted Sweetie Belle with an idea.

“No,” Scootaloo quickly responded, “We are not doing a dumb construction quest.”

They spent the next hour in the marketplace trying to find a vendor that was willing to buy the junk they were carrying. Eventually they managed to sell it off to mysterious pony wearing a pink cloak that ran a stand with a sign that read “P.I.E. Trading Services.”

With bits in their pockets (and after a long speech by Scootaloo on how they should open a bank account), the crusaders and the New Kid refilled their supplies. Here and there, the New Kid being a thief allowed him to pocket a few goods without being seen. Once sure they had everything they needed, they headed towards the post office to deliver the missing packages. A sign in front said that it was closed but the door was open and the voices could be heard.

Once inside, the voices turned into shouting that was coming from a room behind the counter. A grumpy unicorn dressed in official looking uniform stormed out of the office, “How many times? Just how many times do I have to clean up for you messes?”

Derpy stepped out after him, she looked hysterical and said in a rather poor attempt at a calm tone, “I can explain, this wasn’t my fault!”

“That’s no excuse! We have four missing packages that were scheduled to be delivered today—”

“Oh! Oh! We got them here!” squeaked Sweetie Belle.

The grumpy stallion looked over the packages and inspected each of them individually. He cast a spell over them and the long package addressed to Rarity began to vibrate again.

“Well, no damage done to the deliveries,” he said after he finished scanning them. He passed the packages to Derpy, “Well go deliver them with an apology. I’ll have someone inspect the damage done to the dwelling.”

“If you’re talking about Fluttershy’s cottage, we were there!” interrupted Sweetie Belle. “The roof is totally caved in and there are bits wood everywhere…”

She stopped as Apple Bloom nudged her in the ribs. But the damage was done. The stallion buried his head into his hooves and took a deep breath.

“But this is what,” said the stallion who appeared to be trying his hardest not to burst into rage. “It has to be like the third, fifth, or something time that you’ve done something like this. Doors, windows, even fences are easy to fix. But roofs? Roofs, as you well know, are a completely different level. Do you know how much this is going to cost me?”

“I…uh, well,” muttered Derpy nervously.

“This is going to be another headache,” said the stallion. “I’m pretty that the insurance company aren’t willing to fully cover this; even with their increased rates due to our uh… accident record.” He retreated back to his office. “This is coming from your pay check,” he shouted before slamming the door.

Derpy let out a loud groan. After a few silent moments, Sweetie Belle managed to form a rather weak apology but before the first words would come out, Derpy interrupted.

“No need to apologize, honesty it turned out better than expected. I know I’m rather clumsy at times, but I’m not the one that crashed into Fluttershy’s house… okay it’s more like it’s not entirely my fault. I decided that maybe retracing my deliver route would help me find any of the missing packages. On the way to her cottage, something landed on me and when I realized what had happened, I was in the middle of Fluttershy’s living room. I asked her if she was okay but she ran straight into the Everfree Forest.”

“Fluttershy ran into the Everfree?” asked Apple Bloom.

“No, the thing that landed on me,” said Derpy. “Fluttershy screamed something about dragons and flew into Ponyville. I tried to tell my boss that but he wouldn’t listen to me. If you hadn’t arrived just in time with those packages, I’m pretty sure that he would have fired me. I owe you one. Don’t hesitate to call me for help when you need it. I’m not good with bosses though, I have a hard enough time dealing with my own boss.”

QUEST COMPLETE: “Special Delivery”

Friend Request:
13. Derpy Hooves

Summon Unlocked: Muffin Badge

LEVEL UP
Apple Bloom is now level four!
Apple Bloom is now level five!
Scootaloo is now level four!
Scootaloo is now level five!
Sweetie Belle is now level four!
Sweetie Belle is now level five!

Location: Crystal Empire, Northern Equestria

The train began to slow down as it approached the stop. Stan glanced outside at the Crystal Empire. It was bright and sparkly. In fact it was too bright and sparkly, like something out of some vampire chick flick. He was about to turn his eyes away from the dreadful sight until he spotted someone familiar walking.

Stan stumbled his way out the train and tried to walk straight towards the familiar thing. “Hey Butters!” he shouted. “Hey! Butters, c’mere!”

Butters stopped and saw Stan. “Stan, I’m glad to see you…why do you smell like my dad on my birthday?” He asked once the smell of alcohol reached his nose.

“Shut the fuck up Butters,” said Stan. "And what the fuck are you supposed to be?" he asked once he saw Discord.

"Well how rude," Discord said in haughty voice. He was dressed in fancy vest, top hat and monocle. "Why, my dear sir, I am offended at such disrespect. To answer your blunt question, I am Discord, the lord of chaos and occasionally mischief."

“He brought me here,” said Butters. “Thanks to him, I was able to perform my most evil act of chaos to date! I managed to put a library book in the wrong shelf! Now when someone tries to look up that book they won’t be able to find it!”

Stan glanced at Discord and with his raised eyebrows gave him a questioning looks on why the hell would anyone want to spend time with Butters.

Discord sighed and said in casual tone, “It’s quite rare to find someone that appreciates chaos. I’m not one to let a chance like this slip away. However should there be a better option, I would not hesitate to do so.”

Stan muttered something intelligible and hissed as a bright ray of light was reflected of a crystal building. “Why is everything so bright and shiny?” he asked as he covered his eyes from the brightness of the Crystal Empire.

“It’s the décor that they decided to go for. Though I would consider that the least of you problems,” said Discord who was now wearing a pair of sunglasses. The conductor from the train Stan departed shouted out something. “Maybe this will help,” said Discord as he snapped his claw.

Immediately the throbbing pain in Stan’s head began to vanish and his eyes weren’t’ watery from the brightness of the Crystal Empire. “Okay, so what the fuck is going on?” shouted Stan now that his head was clear. “Where the hell am I?”

“Really now?” asked Discord as he slowly floated around Stan. “No need to so hotheaded. I thought that you would have realized by now or at least has some idea of what’s occurred.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Stan who was quickly his temper. The train he arrived in began to depart from the station.

“Well you seem to be in denial or just stupid,” said Discord as he rested on chair made out of clouds. He was wearing brown sports coat and vest, a pair of thick rimmed glasses, and seemed to be a notebook with two quills dancing in circles. “Now why don’t you tell me what happened and we might find the answers you are looking for. Start with what happened earlier today.”

“Fine, so we were playing a game today and we were going to have an epic battle for control of the Stick. Then Butters came out of the pond with some stone and he tripped—” Stan did not finish the sentence as he rammed into Butters and began strangling him. “Butters! You son of a bitch, It’s your fault that I’m stuck here!”

There was a sound of a whistle and Stan and Butters were surrounded in a magic aura and were levitated a few feet from each other. “Now as amusing as it may be, I can’t let you do that,” said Discord now dressed in striped referee outfit.

“Why not?” asked Stan. “It’s his fucking fault that I’m stuck in this fucked up place! So I think that I’m entitled to kick his ass!”

“Didn’t want to do this,” muttered Discord. He cleared his throat and pulled out the Stick of Truth and spoke in rather bad imitation of an old English accent. “With the powers granted from the Stick, I forbid you from beating up Butters no matter how tempting it may be.”

“I’m done playing! I don’t care about this game or the Stick, I just want to get back home and leave this place,” growled Stan.

Discord chuckled, “But my dear boy, you’re an essential part of the game. In fact, all you boys that came through that portal are important parts of the game.”

“Wait, the others are here too?” asked Stan.

“Yep,” said Butters. “I was with the New Kid and saw Jimmy earlier today.”

“Your bard and quiet friend are getting along just fine with folks in Ponyville,” said Discord. “Even your so called princess pal has managed to charm the upper crust of Canterlot society, yet for some reason, she has a habit of dying in violent ways.”

There was a loud whistle coming from an arriving train. Stan stared at Discord as the meaning of his words came to realization. “You’ve been keeping track of us?” Stan asked. “Okay, what about Kyle and fatass, how are they doing?”

“Oh, I’ve been keeping track of you since the moment arrived. I noticed that there was a small rift in this world the moment the portal activated. Ancient magic from a long time ago that I doubt Celestia is aware of. Of course I should have probably notified her about this incident but as long as I keep things from getting out of control, no harm done. As for your two other friends, if they are like the rest then, I’m sure they’re fine and I should be turning up soon.”

“Discord?” said a surprised voice.

Twilight Sparkle was standing outside the train station staring at them. Spike was behind with the luggage, glad that Twilight was a light packer compared to Rarity. “Discord, what are you doing here?” She asked, Twilight then noticed the two boys. “You look similar to…” – she turned to face Discord- “Discord, what is going on?”

“Why would you look at that, time sure flies quick, doesn’t it?” Discord pointed at an alarm clock with wings that was flying around in circles. “I would like to stay and chat, but we have a surprise party to attend so if you would excuse us.”

Within a blink of an eye Discord vanished within a blink of an eye along with the two boys, leaving behind a frustrated Twilight.

“What was that about?” asked Spike once he caught up with Twilight.

“Just Discord,” said Twilight, “Acting like his usual self.” She added in an exasperated voice, “I swear he does things just to get on my nerves.”

Twilight took deep breath and calmed down, “Well I won’t let him ruin my stay here. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“But I thought we came here on vacation.” moaned Spike.

“We are and that’s why I’m taking the opportunity to go more in depth in the collection of book in the crystal library. We only had a small peak when Sombra returned. I heard that they just found a hidden chamber in the library where they hid books banned by Sombra. Oh this is going to be so exciting!”

Spike took a deep breath. Only someone like Twilight would find old books exiting. He stopped walking when he saw it. There where Discord had vanished was a stick. Normally he would have ignored something as trivial as a stick lying on the ground, but there was something peculiar about this stick that was calling to him. He felt a strange power emitting from the stick. Without realizing it, he picked up the stick and was staring at it aimlessly.

“Come on, Spike,” said Twilight, “Shining and Cadence are waiting for us at the palace.”

“Coming, Twilight!” said Spike as he ran to catch up to here. “Uh, hey Twilight- does this stick seem odd to you?” he asked her as he presented her the Stick.

Twilight looked at the stick intensely and picked it up with her magic. But within a few seconds she shrugged and tossed it away. “It’s just a stick, Spike,” she said, “Let’s go.”

“Yeah,” said Spike. He decided to pick up the Stick anyways and put it in his luggage bag before following Twilight.

Location: Ponyville

“Well here we are, Sugar Cube Corner,” announced Apple Bloom.

The New Kid glanced on what had to be one of the strangest buildings he had seen to date. Apple Bloom nudged him to the door. Scootaloo had an impatient look on her face and merely told him to hurry up and open the door and for some reason, Sweetie Belle was wearing a hard hat.

The New Kid opened the door and was met with a loud blast of confetti. Just as he opened the door there was loud popping noise and smoke coming from the center of the room. Discord had appeared along with a dizzy Butters and Stan.

“Surprise!” shouted Discord and the party hat on his head erupted like a volcano and sparks of colorful light began pouring out of it.

Before anyone could say anything, there was a loud retching noise. Stan had thrown up in the punch bowl.

“Oh come on! I was about to spike that!” a fuchsia mare yelled.