//------------------------------// // Somepony who loves you // Story: Somepony who loves you // by Nonagon //------------------------------// Somepony who loves you Twilight Sparkle couldn’t sleep. She was used to her bed in Ponyville’s library, surrounded by the faint rustling of leaves and Spike’s soft, wheezing snore. Inside Sweet Apple Acres’ barn, she had neither of these to comfort her. While there were real beds in the house proper, she’d insisted that the group was better off staying together while they slept, a decision she was now starting to regret. She spent half an hour rolling back and forth on the pile of straw she’d been given before giving up and rising to stretch her legs. Of the ten beds they’d put together only two were currently occupied, both by members of the Apple family. The only noise came from the soft breathing of her two friends and the dirt under her own hooves. A thick plank of wood lay across the inside of the barn door, held up by two supports nailed hastily but firmly into place; Big Macintosh had done a fine job, under the circumstances. Twilight levitated the improvised lock away and rested it soundlessly against the wall. Even having come this far, it took a few seconds for her to muster the nerve to raise a hoof and push the red door open. Creak. The unicorn winced at the sound, freezing in place and listening closely. There was no noise from outside, but one of the faint snores from nearby had stopped. “Where ya goin’, Twilight?” Applejack mumbled. “Just getting some air,” Twilight whispered back. “I’ll be back soon.” Applejack looked at her suspiciously, momentarily afraid, but put her head down and went straight back to sleep. Twilight sighed and took a step outside. The air was cool and crisp, chilled by pegasi to perfection in preparation for a winter that had never come. Inside the barn it had been quiet, but out here the silence was deafening. Not a bird sang, not a cricket chirped, even the wind was still. It had been a while since Twilight had brushed up on her meteorology, but she guessed that meant the weather ponies in the surrounding regions had stopped flying as well. She tried not to dwell on this and looked up. While nopony would openly admit it, there was no denying the night sky was beautiful. Now that the lights of Ponyville had gone out Twilight could see the stars, more stars than she'd ever seen even with her beloved telescope. Even Canterlot, which was usually visible at all hours, had fallen into darkness. Luna's moon covered all in a soft glow, even brighter since the infamous Mare in the Moon had vanished. It echoed the silence of Equestria below, filling the watching unicorn with a feeling of stillness, of perfect serenity. It was times like this that she was grateful for the silence, the self-imposed ban on noise that had kept them safe this past month. The silence was shattered by a scream. Twilight's eyes snapped back to the road in front of her. "Rarity," she said aloud, breaking her own rule in her panic. A terrified scream wasn’t on the list of emergency codes she’d put together, but there could be little doubt about what it meant. She began to gallop in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres’ main gate, only to be met by another figure coming in the opposite direction. Rarity's silk mask was covered in blood, obscuring her vision as she ran and causing her to stumble. Twilight caught her, gasping as she saw the mare's passenger. Sweetie Belle was lying limply across her back. The unicorns hurried inside. Twilight threw the bar back across the door while Rarity tore off her bloodied mask and started to wail. In seconds, Applejack was up and shouting. “Rarity, what in the hay are you— Sweetie Belle!” The normally unflappable pony froze, words catching in her throat. Carefully, Twilight levitated Sweetie Belle off her sister’s back and lowered her to the ground. The filly swayed slightly as she sat up, somehow looking even paler than usual. She was fully conscious, but sheer terror was keeping her mercifully silent. A large gash tore across her shoulder, preventing her from standing. Despite the severity of the wound, there was no blood anywhere on her. “Am I gonna die?” she whispered. “Going to,” Rarity corrected automatically. Her eyes widened and she began to cry harder. “Naw, sweetie, you ain’t gonna die,” Applejack said, trying to give the filly a hug without actually touching her. “You’re gonna be just fine. Right, Twi?” Twilight inspected Sweetie Belle’s wound. “I’m not sure,” she admitted, missing Applejack’s pleading look. “It looks bad. The whole leg’s gone, and... I just don’t know. I’m sorry, I just don’t know.” She turned to Rarity. “How did this happen?” Rarity sniffed, trying to stem the flow of tears. “We were at the front gate, and we were fine, but... but I guess I just closed my eyes for a second...” Applejack stomped angrily. “Consarn it Rarity, Ah let you two have the gate watch because you said you weren’t tired!” “I wasn’t! I... I mean... I couldn’t just let you...” Rarity’s lip trembled. “You two were exhausted, and I... I just wanted...” “It’s not your fault, sis.” Sweetie Belle strained to raise her head and rested it against Rarity’s leg. “She’s right,” Twilight cut in before Applejack could object or Rarity could resume crying. “We’re all tired. These things happen. Please, just... continue.” Rarity lowered her head and fought to control her breathing, talking in a low, even voice. “I just closed my eyes for a second. And then I felt Sweetie Belle shaking, and when I looked she was being...” Her voice turned into a barely-intelligible squeal. “Savaged.” “Just like that?” Applejack poked the filly gently. “Why didn’t you cry out or nothing, partner?” “I was scared.” “Why? You’ve seen ‘em before.” Rarity finished for her. “Because it was Pinkie Pie.” A hush fell over the group. Twilight’s eyes flicked to her friend’s discarded mask, still coated in red. She gulped. “Did you get her in the head?” “Yes.” Rarity hung her head. “The mask worked perfectly. Nothing got in my eyes. But it was awful.” “Give her to me.” Everypony jumped as a loud, male voice broke into their conversation. While they’d been talking, Applejack’s brother had risen and laid down a tarp in the corner of the room, along with a few tools. Soundlessly, he’d walked over to where the others were talking and stood over them. Even though he’d been sleeping, Big Macintosh was still wearing his usual harness. “Give her to me,” he repeated more softly. “She doesn’t have much time.” Rarity tried to lift her sister with magic but in her frantic state failed, only managing to produce sparks from her horn. Twilight helped and levitated Sweetie Belle across the barn to the red pony’s corner. Applejack only stared, as though in shock. Big Macintosh turned to his sister. “Applejack, get Rarity inside the house.” The orange mare kicked at the ground uncomfortably. “She should be out here with her,” she insisted. Big Macintosh glared. “Applejack, get Rarity inside the house!” Applejack squeaked and started to usher Rarity towards a door at the back of the barn. Now it was Twilight’s turn to stare; she’d never known Big Macintosh to ever raise his voice, or Applejack to give up on something so easily. The big pony turned to her. “Twilight, you too. This ain’t gonna be pretty.” “Are you sure?” Twilight took a step forward. “I can help you. I’ve never actually practiced medicine, but I know all the structures in the body and I can hold your tools and—” “No, Twilight.” Big Macintosh shook his head gravely and gave the unicorn a gentle push towards the door. “Ah know what Ah’m doing. You look after Rarity.” Twilight gulped and went out the back door after the others. The Apple family’s kitchen was uncharacteristically bare. Almost every surface had been torn apart for material and all but the smallest utensils were gone, leaving the once-lively room looking dusty and hollow. As soon as Twilight had shut the door behind her, Rarity grabbed her and held her tightly. “Is she going to be okay?” she asked in a trembling voice. Twilight considered her answer carefully, but couldn’t think of anything comforting. “I don’t know, Rarity,” she said, electing for honesty. “It’s a bad cut, and it’s already stopped bleeding. If she’s going to survive she’ll have to... she’ll have to lose her leg. Maybe more. I don’t know, Rarity, I’m sorry but I just don’t know.” Both ponies put on brave faces and held each other, each trying not to think about what might happen. Applejack stood a little distance away with her back to them. In the ever-present silence, everything could be heard from the other side of the wall. Big Macintosh had started to speak, comforting the injured filly with his slow Southern drawl. “Sweetie Belle.” “Big Macintosh, I’m scared...” “Sweetie Belle, look at me. It’s okay to be scared right now. If there was ever a time to be scared, this is it. Nothing to be ashamed of.” He paused to nuzzle the filly affectionately. “Can you just do one thing for me right now?” “What’s that?” “Tell me the name of somepony who loves you.” In her frightened state it took Sweetie Belle several seconds to understand the question, but no time at all to think of an answer. “Rarity.” “That’s right, Sweetie Belle. Rarity loves you. I want you to think of her now, because she’s thinking of you, now and forever. Can you do that for me?” Sweetie Belle could only nod. Big Macintosh gently stroked her mane. “That’s a good girl,” he whispered. Rarity’s tears had returned. She rested her head against Twilight’s shoulder and wept. Crack. Rarity’s head shot up. He wouldn’t. A second, loud Crunch rang out, softer and wetter than the first. Big Macintosh was nothing if not thorough. Rarity bolted back towards the barn. Applejack turned around and tackled her to the ground inches from the door, instantly gaining the upper hand over the hysterical mare. “Ah’m sorry, Rarity, Ah’m so sorry,” she grunted, pinning her friend to the floor, “but y’really don’t want to go in there now. It’ll only make it harder. Trust me, Ah know. Twilight, can you give me a hoof here?” When Twilight didn't respond, Applejack looked up in alarm. “Twilight!” Barely hearing Applejack’s warning, Twilight Sparkle pushed open the door. Like in a dream, her friends’ voices seemed to fade away behind her as she stepped into the barn. She stared expressionlessly at the scene in the corner. Big Macintosh had rolled the tarp into a bundle and tied it closed. Nothing was visible through the thick material. The big pony had turned on a tap once used to fill a water trough for the local pigs and was using it to carefully wash his hooves. Lines of red and white streaked up both his forelegs; he’d brought them down on something hard. Something wet. Something twice. “Why?” somepony asked, and several seconds passed before Twilight realized the word had come from her. “Had to. She got bit.” “I thought... I thought you were going to save her.” “Couldn’t. She’d stopped bleeding. Another minute and she’d have turned. Filly her size, nothing we could do.” Big Macintosh slung a spade across his back and clipped the rope on the tarp to his harness. It made a gentle sloshing noise as he dragged it along the ground. “Nooooooooo!” Rarity finally broke away from Applejack and lunged for the makeshift bag, tumbling across the floor as the orange mare grabbed her hind legs. “Let me see her!” she cried. “Nope.” “Macintosh...” Twilight took a step forward and reached out a hoof, but couldn’t bring herself to touch him. None of this felt real to her. “Let her see her.” “Nope. She’ll make a mess.” Big Macintosh didn’t even look back. Rarity screamed again and leaped at the bag holding her sister, only to be met by a powerful hoof. The blow wasn’t strong by Apple standards, but it was enough to send the unicorn sprawling. The red pony finally looked her in the eyes. “No means no, miss,” he said firmly. “You should get some rest.” Rarity stared. Despite all that had happened Big Macintosh’s eyes were still half-closed, the same slightly vacant expression on his face. He looked calm... no, he looked cold. There was no trace of empathy in those eyes, no sign of remorse. Anger flared in her but next to his colossal form she felt tiny, helpless. Slowly the feeling drained out of her body and she deflated, collapsing to the floor. Big Macintosh wordlessly turned away and walked towards the barn door, dragging her sister behind him. “Sweetie Belle...” Rarity whimpered, then hung her head. Applejack put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder, this time comforting rather than restraining. “Ah’m sorry, sugarcube,” she whispered. If Rarity heard her she didn’t respond. “You can sleep in my bed tonight, if you want. If that would help.” After some thought, the silent unicorn shuffled a little closer. At the far end of the barn, Big Macintosh stuck his head out the door and stomped twice. “Anypony out there?” he whispered. When no undead ponies came hurtling around the corner he went outside and turned sharply, walking around the side of the barn. He counted exactly six pony-lengths to himself before stopping. Behind him there was a soft pop and a flash of light. A familiar form appeared on his left. “How could you... How could you?” She tried not to show it, but Twilight was near tears. “How could you do that to her?” Big Macintosh unclipped the tarp from his harness and gently put it down. “Had to,” he repeated. “She got bit.” He pulled the spade from his back and started to dig. “Yes, I mean, I understand that. You did... you did what you had to do.” The words made Twilight sick, but she pressed on. “But, I mean... to Rarity. She was her sister.” “Eeyup.” “You didn’t even let her say goodbye.” “Eeyup.” Twilight forced herself to not raise her voice. “You really hurt her.” Big Macintosh straightened up and put down his spade. “I know,” he sighed. In an instant, most of his accent had vanished. “I know what it’s like to lose somepony you care about. Right now, Rarity’s thinking about Sweetie Belle. About how much she loves her, and how much it hurts now she’s gone. And do you know what else she’s thinking?” He shot Twilight a hard look. “She’s thinking about me. She’s thinking about that dumb, heartless Big Macintosh that took her little sister away from her. How I took her away, Twilight. It wasn’t Pinkie Pie, or eternal night, or her own carelessness that killed her. It was me.” The large pony picked up the spade and resumed digging. Twilight was frozen to the spot, only partly aware of the tears making their way down her cheeks. “Why?” she whispered. “If yer gonna have demons,” Big Macintosh grunted around the handle in his mouth, “best they’re the kind that don’t actually want you dead. She’ll live longer if she doesn’t blame herself.” He planted his spade in the ground a second time and looked at Twilight thoughtfully. “You’re good with that horn of yours, right?” “What?” She followed his gaze. “...Oh.” Trying not to think about what she was doing, Twilight closed her eyes and focused energy into her horn. A perfectly square section of dirt rose out of the ground and deposited itself nearby. Big Macintosh picked up the tarp with his teeth and placed it carefully in the hole. He reached for his spade, but with another wave of magic the hole filled itself. “Don’t thank me,” Twilight blurted as the red pony opened his mouth. “Please. I don’t want anything to do with this.” “Nopony does,” Big Macintosh said gently, placing a hoof on her shoulder. She shivered at his touch. “But somepony has to. Might as well be the strong one.” He straightened up and placed his spade across his back again. “Somepony also has to watch the front gate. Might as well be me too. I don’t think I’ll be welcome inside for a few hours.” "I'll walk you there," Twilight said. Big Macintosh looked at her in surprise, but said nothing. They started walking together down the long dirt road to the gate. "Macintosh," Twilight half-whispered, her voice growing quieter as they neared the perimeter, "just before you... I mean... when you were talking to Sweetie Belle, you asked her a question." The red pony sighed. "I asked her the name of somepony who loves her." "Why?" "That was for me." He hung his head, and for the first time that long night a trace of sadness crept into his voice. "I killed a little filly tonight. I did it because nopony else would, and because everypony would be in danger if I didn’t. You might think with that kind of logic I’d start to think of ponies as just bodies, numbers instead of living things. I know this would be a lot easier if I did think that way.” He took a deep breath. “But I can't ever allow myself to think that killing is okay. It's inequine. So before I do anything else, I ask for a name. The name of somepony who loves them, who’s going to miss them when they’re gone. That keeps them real to me. It’s a reminder that death doesn’t just hurt one pony, it hurts everypony. I won’t ever let myself forget that." Twilight's lip trembled. "So... you've done this before?" "Yup." "How... how many times?" Big Macintosh shook his head. "Don't ask, Twilight. Just don't ask." They walked another minute in silence. “Applejack knew, didn’t she?” “Yup.” “Why didn’t she say anything?” “I told her not to. I reckon she’s afraid of me now. With good reason, too.” He sighed again. "Apple Bloom was the worst. I thought she'd say her sister's name, or one of her friends. But she looked up at me and she said mine. 'Big Macintosh loves me,' she said. And it's true. I miss her so much..." For a second the big pony seemed about to break down, but he breathed out and his face returned to its normal position. Bile rose in Twilight's throat. This time, she was sure she was going to throw up. "You... you killed..." "Don't, Twilight. Just don't." He looked over and saw that she was trembling. "I'm sorry. Maybe I talk about it a little too casually. I've had awhile to come to terms with it." "You..." They had almost reached the lookout point for the gate. The gently rolling hills were broken by a fence made from logs and rough sheet metal, curving away in either direction as far as the eye could see. The pair slowed down, lowering their voices to a dull whisper. Twilight gulped. "You're a good pony, Big Macintosh," she said. "You've just been put in a place where you have to do some very bad things. And..." She realized she was trembling again, but for a different reason. "And I don't think anypony else could be strong enough to do what you've just done. I know I couldn't. You're the toughest pony I've ever met. But... but you shouldn't demonize yourself like this. You make yourself sound like a monster, even to your friends, even to your family. But you're not. You're a wonderful pony and you shouldn't hide that from them." She turned to face him. He was staring at her with that same unreadable expression. "Come back," Twilight pleaded. "Apologize to Rarity, and to Applejack. Tell them how you really feel. There’s still time for them to forgive you. Don't make yourself into a murderer for their sake. We've already lost so much because of the night. We... I don't want to lose you as well." She took a step closer. Their noses were almost touching. “I mean...” Her heart was pounding. “Big Macintosh... can’t somepony love you too?” Before the big pony could respond, she leaned forward the final inch and kissed him. Twilight had read that even if her first kiss was clumsy and awkward, it would be magical. Sparks would fly, hearts would melt, and all would feel right in the world. For a few seconds, this was the case. A soft, warm tingle spread from her lips to the rest of her body, and joy flowed through her like she’d never felt before. Then, just as abruptly as it had come, the feeling stopped. Big Macintosh wasn’t freezing up or pulling away, but he wasn’t returning the kiss either. He stood stock-still, barely reacting to the gesture. Twilight pulled away and looked into his eyes. Where before she’d seen warmth and pain there was now only a look of cold detachment. “You don’t want to be my friend, Twilight Sparkle,” he said in a low, flat voice. “But—” Big Macintosh held up a hoof to cut her off. “Applejack never told you what happened to Spike, did she?” he asked, his Southern accent starting to creep back into his voice. “She said... she said he went to get... help...” Twilight’s eyes widened as the penny dropped. “You... you didn’t.” “Ah did.” Big Macintosh turned away from her to face the gate. “Ah thought dragon scales were tougher than pony teeth. Turns out Ah was wrong. His head cracked just the same, too.” Twilight opened her mouth, but no words would come out. “Don’t pretend this changes nothing. Ah know it must be hard to hear, because his last words were your name. You should be proud, Twilight. He was brave right to the end.” “You... you...” Twilight’s horn started to glow threateningly. “We don’t even know if dragons are susceptible! He could have been completely fine!” “Ah couldn't take that risk. An undead dragon could have killed us all. Keep your voice down, Twi’. Somepony might hear us.” Big Macintosh glanced in her direction. “You should get some sleep, while you still can.” “No!” Conflicting emotions coursed through her. She could almost feel Spike’s familiar weight on her back, something nopony would ever be able to replace. The light from her horn grew more intense. “You killed Spike, you, you—” Something rustled outside the gate, breaking Twilight’s concentration. Her horn flickered and then went out. The rustling grew louder and closer, then abruptly stopped. A tapping took its place, growing into steadily louder knocking as bare hooves beat against the fortifications at Sweet Apple Acres’ edge. “Go,” Big Macintosh said over the noise. “Ah can take care of myself.” He reached around behind his harness and pulled out a mask, stretching it over his face so it covered his eyes and mouth. “Go, Twilight,” he repeated, voice slightly muffled by the thick fabric. Twilight didn’t move. “GO!” he roared, rearing up to give her a shove before settling back into a fighting stance, facing the growing pounding from beyond the fence. And Twilight ran. She barreled down the road towards the safety of the barn, sobbing loudly, no longer caring how much noise she made. She thought about Spike, and a heavy weight filled her heart. Then Sweetie Belle; just earlier, he’d washed her blood off his hooves as easily as if it were tree sap. Twilight gagged, trying to get the taste of Big Macintosh’s lips out of her mouth. And sweet little Apple Bloom too, his own sister, and Scootaloo — sure, Scootaloo too, why not? They would never get their cutie marks now. Twilight slowed down, then stopped. So many lives, so many innocent minds, each with somepony who loved them, ended. Because of him. Twilight turned and, slowly at first but building speed, started to run back towards the gate.