“Welcome one and all to the Carousal Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique!” Rarity announced with a joyful grin, her white hoof outstretched to her esteemed guests of honor. The Avengers stared at her, some smiling, some observing the structure behind the mare, and one other finding something stuck in his fingernails.
Tony gave off a fake laugh, snapping his fingers and returning to reality. “Heh. I get it. ‘Carousal’ Boutique.” He strutted forward, offering a curtsy bow to the unicorn. “Lady Marsh, always an honor to be in your mallowy presence.”
Rarity’s eyelids shot open, her hoof still outstretched as Tony pushed past her. She gritted her jaw, teeth grinding together as she spun towards her target, only to realize he had already retreated into her humble abode. The coward.
With a disgruntled grunt, Rarity offered her fakest and most forced smile to the others.
“Time is of the essence, my friends! Quickly, quickly! On you go! It’s time we got you all fitted in to your personal attire. Oh, but I’m afraid there may be few errors here and there…” Rarity rambled, nearly obscuring the towering humans from her field of vision as she pondered away. Thor’s mighty palm tussling her mane brought Rarity back to reality.
Adjusting her mane to her personal preference, she coughed gingerly to herself, saying, “Well, we shall certainly get it sorted, shall we?”
Spinning around, Rarity made her way back inside the boutique, following right behind Thor’s long, red cape. The moment she stepped past that door, a chorus of shrill screams assaulted her eardrums, forcing Rarity to recoil in surprise.
“Oh, my gosh! It’s the rest of the aliens!” Sweetie Belle cried in delight, hopping off the stage with her best friend Scootaloo by her side. Together, the two swarmed the lone standing human—the only one who stood closest to them—and proceeded to hop up and down around his legs.
Tony flinched back in surprise, his hands held outwards to the two well-dressed fillies, as both Rainbow Dash and Applejack chuckled wholeheartedly from afar. The two returned to their game of cards shortly.
Scootaloo’s tiny wings flapped, earning her a few inches above the ground. “Are you Tony Stark?!” she screamed, eyes wild with excitement. “I’ve heard so many cool things about you!”
“Really?” asked Tony, bewildered at the orange filly. Soon enough, his trophy smile adorned his facial features, each arm crossing over one another. “I mean… Yeah, sure, that’s expected. I am…pretty awesome.”
Rainbow Dash laughed out loud, shuffling her cards and hiding them from Applejack’s watchful eye. She just so happened to earn the man’s attention with the outburst, following it up by saying, “Not as awesome as me, Stark! Not as awesome as me!”
“Just wait till I get my suit fixed, Skittles,” Stark replied almost instantly, causing the fillies beneath him to switch their attention between the two’s verbal conversation. He said, “I’ll be able to fly faster than that mouth of yours.”
Rainbow scoffed, looking up from her set. “Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it! As far as I’m concerned, nothing can keep up with me! I’m literally the fastest thing in the world if you haven’t already figured it out.”
“I wouldn’t put my money on that.”
Both Dash and Applejack looked up from their game, smiling together as the soldier approached the duo. As he walked by, Applejack tilted her hat to the man to which he replied with an appreciative smile. Applejack liked that about Rogers. A true gentlecolt. Or…gentlemen…whatever the term was.
“Oh, ‘sup, Cap?” Rainbow greeted, her cocky grin increasing. “You sayin’ you don’t believe me? Because I can prove it anytime…anywhere.”
Steve just shook his head, continuing on as he sent the rainbow mare one last glance. He smiled, chuckling, “I’m not saying I don’t believe it…but I’ve seen a few things here and there for as long as I’ve been living...”
“Oh, no, here comes the grand, old tale of back in ‘his day’,” Stark warned, hands held out and shaking only slightly. “Not to sound like the odd one out, Papa Rogers, but we’d rather not listen to some living history book.”
Steve suddenly turned towards the owner of the voice calling him out. He only smiled, approaching Stark slowly. He said, “For the one who seems to be making history everyday…I’d have to say the same thing about you.”
“You’re just jealous, Cap,” Tony replied.
“Jealous of what?”
Tony knelt down, wrapping his arms around Scootaloo’s and Sweetie Belle’s necks. “Jealous that you don’t already have a fanbase like me.”
While the two fillies seemed to be on the verge of popping with excitement, Rarity stepped in, earning the attention of nearly everyone trapped in the room that wouldn’t contain the growing tension for much longer. She cleared her throat, eyes shifting from Tony and turning on Rogers.
“We can argue like barbarians all day long, but not today! Today is a day for work, and preparation, and—!” Rarity paused, her muzzle scrunching as a strange odor resounded through the air. She puffed out her cheeks, nearly spewing out her breakfast at the mere stench of it.
Gagging to herself—and gaining a few surprised glances from the ones that surrounded her—Rarity placed her foreleg across her muzzle, shielding her nose from the smell.
“Oh… Oh, my! That…that foul stench! I can hardly stand it! Where…where did it…?” Rarity’s focus waved across the room, returning once to Rogers and halting there. With a grimace, she removed her foreleg, taking in a small whiff.
Instantly, Rarity recoiled, hooves nearly trampling over one another. “Oh, my dear! Captain Rogers!” she cried, earning a confused and somewhat hurt stare from the soldier. She continued, waving her foreleg over her nostrils. “Ooooh! I’m sorry to say it, darling. I really am, but…I cannot help prepare your newest attire with that…with that…odor drifting from your person!”
With Rainbow and Applejack chuckling from behind him, Steve looked down at his filthy uniform, minding the blood and dirt stains. Reluctantly, he lifted up his arm, taking a brief sniff of his armpit. He shot back, face scrunching.
“Yeah, you got me there, Rarity,” Rogers mumbled, lowering his arm.
“Personal hygiene is number one, Cap! Didn’t they teach ya that in basic training?” Stark mused, turning to the two fillies under his forearms for support on the joke. Instead, he was greeted by two young ponies nearly turning green, already beginning to push themselves away from him…specifically his armpits.
“Oh, I’d have to say the same for you as well, Mr. Stark,” Rarity said, approaching the man with a foreleg draped across her muzzle, refusing to take in anymore smell. She bit her lip, looking everywhere except where Stark was kneeling.
“How can I put this nicely?” she thought out loud, closing her eyes. “You smell like a rotting piece of the foulest pile of trash and scum that was scraped from the dirtiest cesspools known to all of Equestria.”
Rarity turned to the others eyeing her with shocked expressions. She faintly smiled, chuckling awkwardly to herself. “But that’s just putting it nicely, if I do say so myself.”
One at a time, each member of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes took of a whiff from their armpits or other body parts, cringing and shaking their heads. Tony followed their actions, blinking numerous times at the stench from his own body, almost trying to believe that it was possible for him, him of all people to smell so bad.
Nodding to himself, Tony muttered, “So…the truth finally comes out, huh, Rarity?” The unicorn spun towards him, purple mane swaying with her actions. Her mouth fell to speak, but Stark beat her. “If this is all you think of me…as a…piece of trash…then I think our relationship just hit rock bottom.”
“Excuse me?!” cried Rarity, but Stark pushed his finger to her lips, earning a terrible frown from the mare.
“No, no, no! You don’t have to say anymore. I can take a hint… I’m sure the others can’t, but I can…and I feel like I’m not wanted anymore. Like a piece of trash, a cesspool as you’ve mentioned, I guess I’ll just make my way out…and into the dumpster…if only to appease your squishy, marshmallow lumps.”
Rarity groaned in annoyance, levitating a white towel and flinging it right into Tony’s face.
“The shower’s upstairs, fine gentlecolts…and maiden,” Rarity addressed to the group of bipedal visitors, her frown disappearing at the sight of Natasha flashing a faint smile. She politely coughed, turning away from them and approaching the two fillies.
“First door on the right, don’t use all the hot water, and one at a time…please,” Rarity explained, not even bothering to watch the six trouble-makers any longer. She levitated a long piece of ribbon, watching as Sweetie Belle hopped up on the stage. “Quickly now! The Gala isn’t much farther away, and I need those measurements as soon as possible!”
While the others shared a few glances between one another, Natasha strolled forward, her hips swaying as she said, “I don’t know about you boys, but I could use some freshening up.”
Tony pulled the towel down, clutching the heavenly white cloth in his hand and letting it drape downwards. With determination in his eyes, he shot up and said, “Dibs on first!” He ran forward, making his way up the stairs with Natasha slowly trailing him.
“I am after Stark!” Thor called out to the Widow the moment she pressed her foot down on the first step. He stepped forward, gripping Mjølnir in his right palm while his left was occupied gripping he armor tight on his shoulder blades. “This armor has become a burden. I need something more…fitting.”
“You will simply love what I have in store for you, Mr. Thor!” Rarity called out one final time as Thor, Banner, Clint, and Steve entered the stairway and disappeared in the upper darkness. As their footsteps subsided, Rarity cooed gently to herself, so glad to have returned to her work.
The ribbon coiled and spun in midair by her command, causing Rarity’s smile to return as did the thought of the early morning sunrise.
It was her little sister’s first Grand Galloping Gala. Her first one. She felt all giddy just rethinking it. And rethinking it. And rethinking it. Soon enough, Rarity had nearly forgotten all about the five suits and one dress she was bound to make with what very little time she had, and instead she chose to focus on the matter before her.
“Oh, your first Grand Galloping Gala!” Rarity squealed. “The excitement, the anticipation! I wouldn’t miss this for all the jewels in Equestria!” As she finished tying the ribbon together, Rarity levitated the small bow onto her little sister’s dress.
Sweetie Belle eyed the ribbon as if it was solid gold, hers and Scootaloo’s smiles returning and burning brighter than nearly anything in the room.
Together, the two fillies cheered, “We’re going to the Gala! We’re going to the Gala! We’re going to the Gala!”
Sighing, Applejack lowered her cards just enough for Rainbow to take a quick glance at. Instead, Rainbow followed her movements, eyeing the two fillies as Applejack groaned, “Alright, ya’ll, keep it down.” She set down her cards, her smile returning briefly. “It ain’t like it’s a life-changing experience or no…thiiiii…”
Stepping outside the curtains and acquiring the attention of the two mares invested in their game of cards, little Apple Bloom stepped out, feeling pretty enthusiastic with the dress Rarity made just for her. Her smile grew ten times larger the moment Applejack laid eyes on her, tears welling up in her older sister’s eyes.
As she quickly shot off to join her friends, Applejack watched her leave and stuttered, “Mah little sister’s all grown up!” She sniffled, reaching for Rainbow’s tail and blowing her nose into it.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash cried out, plucking her multicolored tail away from Applejack’s reaches.
Rejoined at last atop the stage, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootaloo, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, dressed in their newly acquired Gala dresses, giggled furiously amongst one another. Their minds were set, each one of them imagining the same thing as the other.
“This is gonna be the best night ever!”
As for the massive mirror behind the three eyeing them, its only response was a solid blink.
“First time showering on another world?”
Steve just shrugged, taking off his bloody gloves one at a time. “I’m still not used to the shower’s back home,” he replied to the man standing half-naked behind him. “Too many dials.”
“Preach it, brother. Not really, though,” Stark mumbled. With his shirt lying in a fumbled mess on the floor of Rarity’s room—to which they presumed, considering all the manikin horses—Stark took his time to observe every bit of his surroundings.
He could see his team dressing down, all except for Romanoff, which was understandable considering she was…the only chick on the Avengers’ roster. He still didn’t really consider that Maximoff woman just yet, not after the stunts she pulled. Thor had managed to pull off his cape, resting the red sheet across a nearby chair. Steve was readying to take apart his suit, already have laid his shield against the wall.
Tony was sure Rarity didn’t mind them just leaving their stuff on her carpet. Then again, Rarity was smarter than that to leave six Avengers alone upstairs where they can easily get in her room. Well, she didn’t know they were in her room, but Stark was certain she couldn’t trust them. How smart of her.
Pushing those thoughts to the side for now, Stark was ready to make his exit, the towel wrapped over his shoulder, and his filthy shirt left in his dust. He left the moment Rogers took off the upper portion of his uniform.
“Well, if any of you need me, I’ll be stealing all the hot water,” Stark called out, pressing his palm against the doorknob. It suddenly flung open, nearly catching Stark right in the forehead. Luckily, he backed off just in time, watching as two…girls walked in.
“Knock! Knock!” Rainbow Dash announced, pushing herself into Rarity’s room. Applejack followed right behind her, already concealing her eyesight underneath the hat, movements grinding to a halt. Rainbow shot her eyes over to Stark standing by the doorway.
“Whoa!” he nearly shouted, hands held out to her. Rainbow raised an eyebrow, eyeing the man up and down and noting his naked chest. She smirked, causing Stark to purse his lips. “Do ya mind? I mean, I know we’re an entirely different species and you’re both pretty curious about our anatomy and what not—”
“Stark!” Barton warned, his shoelaces held between both hands.
Rainbow Dash just laughed it off, Applejack trying her best to make her way out the door. Rainbow’s voice cut off her attempts, prompting the mare to turn her way.
“Calm down! Rarity just wanted us to check up on ya, make sure you found the bathroom and everything!” She eyed the filthy clothes strewn across the floor, her smirk growing. “I guess she forgot to mention that her room’s off-limits. Heh, tough luck. Oh, Rarity’s gonna be so mad when she sees all of this…dirty…laundry…”
Her eyesight seemed to rise up higher and higher, her rose-rimmed irises shrinking at the sight of the Captain’s backside. The muscles flexed as he bent downwards to pick up his filthy attire, only to rise up and move as his sleek and fit body commanded. As the room grew deathly silent, Steve Rogers slowly turned around, hand gripping his uniform while the other rested on his side. It was at that angle did Rainbow and Applejack get the full image.
From his ripping six-pack to his outward pectoral form, the near-perfect body of Captain Rogers stood as a trophy to what men only dreamt of, and what women admired. The effect was instantaneous, leaving both Rainbow Dash and Applejack stuttering and blinking furiously.
Steve smiled at them, taking a step closer. “Girls…some privacy, if you don’t mind?”
Rainbow hadn’t noticed the burning sensation against her cheeks before it was too late. Applejack nearly faced the same fate, but held her ground and spun towards the exit. Rainbow just bit her lip, looking to the side and muttering, “Oh…yeah. Sure…n-no prob.”
Right as the two stepped into the hall, Rainbow Dash looked back into the room and said, “Shower nice! I-I mean have a nice shower! I’ll tell Rarity that you guys are lookin’ good in here. T-that’s not what I meant! I-I mean that you’re fine in here! No trouble! Nooo problem whatsoever. Yeah…that’s what I meant.”
Their retreating hoofsteps—though it seemed more like a gallop—grew fainter as time progressed, leaving behind a group of slightly confused Avengers. Tony stood by the exit, looking for their retreating forms, but seeing nothing down the hall. He leaned back in the room, lower lip puffing out.
“Well, that was awkward,” he commented, receiving a few nods. The man slapped his hands together, opening the door out wide for him to exit. “Alright then…I’ll be out in a few, might shave a bit if there’s a razor, so…”
He pointed at Rogers, then to his sweaty shirt lying on the floor.
“Don’t touch my stuff,” he concluded and shut the door.
Rogers only chuckled. He suddenly turned back towards the others, offering each one a questioning stare. He asked, “So, what’s the lineup again?”
“I am next,” Thor responded, loosening the armor plating on his chest, grunting a bit as he did so. “Blasted thing…” he grunted. He contemplated whether or not to just use his hammer’s magic to break off the armor, just like he always did before. In fact, that wasn’t such a bad idea.
Barton finally took off his first boot, laying the muddy footwear on the clean carpet. “I guess I’m after you,” he added, already reaching for the second boot.
Natasha waited patiently for any rise of the man sitting across from her, next to Barton. At long last, he looked up at her, his soft gaze meeting her own. He hadn’t even attempted to take off one piece of his clothing. Instead, he offered, both hands held out to Natasha.
She gave off a breathless chuckle that didn’t even last a second, looking to the ground.
“We’ll work something out…”
We always do, right?
“Ohhhh! I’m late! I’m late! I’m sooo late!” Twilight complained to herself upon landing feet in front of the Carousal Boutique’s entrance. She adjusted her wings against the strap of the pouch resting against her side, complying herself to look somewhat presentable.
It was Rarity after all.
With a short inhale and long exhale, Twilight pushed open the boutique’s door and entered inside. Upon entry, the Alicorn was greeted to the sight of her friends Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity all preparing their own individual dresses for the Gala. Apple Bloom and her two friends were there as well, prancing around the stage and cheering every second they got.
After the sound of the door swinging open pulsated throughout the boutique, Rarity swiveled her gaze away from her little sister and brought it to the panting Alicorn, a tiny smile quick to form.
“Hello there, dearie,” Rarity greeted, staring at Twilight intently as she approached slowly. She smiled even wider, announcing with great honor, “If you’re wondering about your dress, it is nearly finished! I’ll get right on after I’m done with Sweetie Belle here.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Twilight set her pouch down on a nearby chair. “Thank you, Rarity. That’s just the kind of good news I’ve been waiting to hear. And I’m sorry for being so late. It’s just that I had to orchestrate nearly everything back in Canterlot for the Grand Galloping Gala tonight.”
Rarity waved it off, blowing a quick raspberry. “Oh, think nothing of it, Twilight! Priorities with the Princesses always come first after all,” she cheerily stated, hooves minding the bow upon Sweetie Belle’s dress.
“Yeah…about those priorities,” Twilight mumbled, clearing her throat and turning away from her slack pouch. She eyed her friend quizzically, eyebrows furrowing in thought. She asked, “Have the Avengers already dropped by? I kinda…need to talk with Mr. Stark about something…important.”
“They’re upstairs, Twi!” Rainbow Dash called, lounging on a nearby couch with Applejack.
Twilight turned her way, smiling appreciatively and saying her thanks. As she trotted past the duo and made her way up the stairs and into the dark halls, the two mares lying on the couch shared a quick giggle with one another, pounding their hooves together.
The young Alicorn swiveled her head left and right, seeing nothing but the end of the hall and two doors. The door to her left was closed, the one that led into Rarity’s room. She could assume that Rarity already warned them of her “private zone”, so she immediately spun her head to the right, to the door slightly cracked open with light spilling out into the hall.
“Mr. Stark…are you in there? Hello…?”
Twilight pecked her muzzle into the crack, pushing the door out and stepping into the room. One of Rarity’s guest rooms, a window with sunlight spilling in and an average-sized bed. Other than that it was nearly barren, save for the light building at the bottom of the nearby doorframe.
The door sat snugly to her far left, and from the other side she could hear a voice. An easily recognizable voice. She exhaled through her nostrils, her smile quick to return.
“Mr. Stark, I was talking with the Princesses…you know…about the spell that could get you all home. Well…they might have found something. It’s nothing concrete but…it just might do the job.”
As she stopped inches in front of the door, Twilight grew a tad uneasy at receiving no response. He must’ve not heard her…with whatever activity he was performing beyond the door that stood between him and the valuable news.
She could hear him talking, most likely to himself. Twilight tilted her head to the side, reaching forward and pressing her hoof against the door.
“Mr. Stark, are you in there?”
From beyond the door and into the steamy bathroom, Tony Stark stood butt naked directly in front of the mirror. His full attention was focused around his facial area, specifically where he commanded the razor blade to go. He slowly swiped downwards, clearing the side of his cheek free of stubble.
“I’m not gonna ask why Rarity has a shaver in the first place. I mean, her weird fetishes are her own business,” Stark mumbled quietly, speaking to no one but himself. It was serene, just being alone with his thoughts for once, away from all those idiots. Except Banner. Banner was tight.
He tapped the edge of razor against the sink’s edge, reaching upward for another stroke.
He suddenly froze in his actions as the most terrifying sound in the world creaked from behind him.
The door opened. The bathroom door actually opened.
Stupid thing didn’t have a lock.
Stark’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, scanning the mirror in front of him for the intruder. There was too much steam on the glass. He couldn’t see a thing! He shot his stare over to his far right, noting the white towel resting on the floor and away from his reach. He was defenseless.
The most terrifying sound in the world was followed by the highest-pitched gasp he had ever heard. What was even more horrible about it was that he recognized the voice…
Oh…Goddammit.
Spinning around, razor held tightly as if it was his only weapon, Tony Stark faced his inevitable intruder. All the color drained from his face when he saw Twilight standing there, mouth agape and blood rushing to her cheeks.
Her eyes flicked downwards, pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks.
Instinctively, Tony dropped the razor and slammed his palms over his crotch. Really hard. Just as instinctively, a painful shout built at the bottom of his throat, though he somehow managed to contain it and focus its remaining power in a question. A simple question, really.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
So simple.
Twilight’s wings snapped open, standing on end as she tried helplessly to come up with some sort of explanation, her eyes forced anywhere except where Tony was standing.
She tried to explain herself, but it didn’t come out so well.
“I-I-I-I was trying t-t-to call you and… Oh, sweet Celestia!” she cried, lifting a foreleg to block her vision.
“Get out!”
Twilight wasted no time spinning around and slamming the door behind her. Her chest rose and fell at a quickened pace, heart nearly pulsating out of her chest. She placed a hoof across her heart, groaning in embarrassment.
She found Tony Stark.
She just found all of Tony Stark.
With her back pressed against the door, the blushing Alicorn pressed both of her hooves against her forehead, trying her hardest to wipe out all the images in her mind. Despite her efforts, they only came back stronger, bigger, more pronounced than ever before. She groaned even louder. And she could’ve sworn she heard a bit of laughing coming from downstairs.
The doorknob spun, prompting the Alicorn to lift up her head. It clicked open. Twilight spun around, slowly backing away from the opening door.
There he stood, thankfully, with a towel wrapped around his torso. But the stare. Oh, the stare he sent her way was enough to cause Twilight to drop her gaze, biting her lip and kicking at the carpet in a clear sign of shame and humiliation.
With whatever willpower she had left, Twilight lifted her eyes up to him. Tony Stark just shook his head, lips pursing and eyes as hard as stone.
“Enjoy the show, sicko?” he asked.
Twilight only blushed harder, dropping her gaze away from the man.
Stark stormed out of the room with a huff, pushing the door open and nearly hitting a half-naked Thor on the other side. Odinson flinched back, taking notice of Stark’s face as he tried to push by him. His eyes lit up with surprise.
The Asgardian smiled. “My word, have you ever used a razor before, Stark?” he chuckled.
“Can it, Horatio.”
Thor just chuckled some more, watching as the mortal man retreated back into the confines of Rarity’s personal dwelling. With another round of laughs to go around, Thor entered the guest room with a smile on his face, his hand reaching down to strip the towel from his lower torso.
He laid the white towel aside, rubbing his palms together as he scanned the room. Surprisingly, he found Princess Twilight sitting not too far away, her head low and breathing shallow. From the light the room ahead of her seemed to emit, Thor could already make out her facial features.
She appeared troubled, shaken even, as her eyes glossed over with fear and shame rushing in and out of her. Despite this, Thor stepped closer to the Alicorn, earning her attention to the approaching footsteps coming from her left. The moment she turned her head was almost too much for the pony to handle.
Her jaw fell once again, eyes as wide as dinner plates as every shred of breath was ripped from her lungs. Her cheeks burned brightly, body quivering and eyes shifting up and down, up and down. Despite her strongest efforts, her wings shot out once more.
Thor, quite oblivious, raised an eyebrow at her actions.
He asked, “What is the matter, Twilight? You look as if you have seen a foul creature.”
Her mind blacked out after that, leaving a limp Twilight lying on the carpet.
Thor watched as the Alicorn fainted. His upper lip curled, palms resting against his naked hips. He looked around the room, brow furrowing further and further.
“Where is the cauldron in this room?”