Well, that poor attempt at breaking the ice didn't work. Hell, it made things even worse!
"Er, well, uh ... patrolling the Mojave sure makes you wish for a nuclear winter, am I right?" I stated nervously as I forced my smile even more. 'Why the hell am I making these damn references to shit these people have never heard of?' Again, my piss poor attempt at breaking the ice failed miserably, and that was when I realized that I needed to bring out the big guns.
I opened my bag of social interaction once again and reached deep into it, attempting to bring forth the best possible conversation starter since the dawn of humanity.
"Are we just going to fucking stand here for the rest of eternity, or are we going do something?" Best sentence ever: ten out of ten.
I walked down the stairs slowly as to not trip and make a fool out of myself; well, more than I already have, not that that's the point! Anyway, I reached the bottom of the staircase and sat down on the couch, facing them.
"Alright, my peeps, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" I leaned back and somehow managed to summon a bottle of Coca Cola, which I took a big gulp from. I definitely would have freaked out about if I didn't have mother fucking royalty in front of me. 'Damn, I impressed myself with that one.' I thought to myself as I took another sip, this time moving the bottle to the side so I could get a clearer view of the horses in front of me.
Now, they didn't exactly just stand there doing nothing while I took my sweet ass time walking down the stairs and getting comfortable. The white one just stared at me the whole way down; she didn't say anything either. The orange one stared at me too, with an expression I ... can't quite describe. It was like curiosity mixed with confusion, doubt, and a little bit of anger. And the blue one, oh boy, If looks could kill, I would have died the day I was born, if that makes any sense.
Twilight was the one to step forward first, confused, and a little bit worried, strangely enough.
"David, how did you get out of the restraints I put on you?"
"I asked them nicely."
"What?"
"What?"
I smirked as Twilight brought her hoof to her face and let out a grunt of annoyance. 'I can already tell messing with these ponies will be fun.' I thought to myself as my smirk grew wider.
"Now, about abandoning me without telling me who you were getting in the first place ..."
"I went to get my friend, Applejack! She can tell us if you're really who you claim to be." She replied as her eyes slowly narrowed.
"So... she's a walking lie detector?"
"A... lie detector?" She asked as she raised one of her eyebrows.
'Figures, they're probably not very advanced regarding technology.'
"It's... a machine used for determining whether a person is telling the truth by testing for physiological changes considered to be associated with lying, I think."
"Interesting… Well, Applejack will be telling us if you're a liar or not, so go ahead and tell her the story you told me." She said as her friend stepped forward.
She looked like she was about to say something, but being the asshole that I am, I completely interrupted her and started telling my story the same way I told Twilight.
I told her everything I told Twilight and then some. The expressions of the ponies present changed quite a lot through the duration of my story. The blue one, Luna if I remember correctly, didn't look like she wanted to kill me anymore, so that's good. Although she still seemed to have that "I'm watching you." look, which was kind of fucking unsettling.
Twilight didn't show that much difference and mainly kept glancing at the princesses, probably to see how they felt on the matter. Celestia and Applejack looked a lot more interested than the other two by the end, hopefully meaning that Miss lie detector in front of me won't call my story bullshit and have me atomized.
As soon as I finished my story, Applejack took a step back and looked at Twilight.
"Ah can tell ya that she... he… Well, they're telling the truth alright." I released a sigh that I didn't even know I was holding as I leaned back, a lot more relaxed.
"See? I have no reason to lie!" Besides the fate of my future hanging in the balance, I totally had no reason to lie, according to me anyway.
"He is? Oh, this is excellent news! I have so many questions! Like how his world works, or what technology they have, or-" She was interrupted as Celestia put a hoof over her mouth with a smile, though I knew that wouldn't stop the purple menace from dropping a question nuke on me later.
"We all have questions, my faithful student, but how about we ask them one at a time?" She said as she looked back at me, her smile waning slightly.
Twilight nodded as Celestia removed her hoof from her mouth. "O-of course Princess! I just got a little carried away, hehe..." She stuttered sheepishly as she rubbed the back of her neck.
"Well, Twilight, since you seem excited about asking questions, how about you start off?" I said as I got a little more comfortable, knowing that I was going to be there a while.
She nodded as she pulled another notebook and a quill out from seemingly nowhere. Although, given that I did the same thing with a bottle of soda, I'm not surprised anymore.
She cleared her throat and levitated the notebook and quill in front of herself. "Alright, what was your world like regarding technology and scientific understanding?" And there was the question nuke...
'I honestly should have prepared for this ...'
"Well, humanity is currently in the Information Age. Before that we were in the Space Age. Which is far more interesting in my opinion. It was characterized by rapid development of new technology in a close race mostly between the United States and the Soviet Union, which were the two leading powers that initiated it. Rapid advances were made in rocketry, materials science, computer technology, and many other areas of study. Much of the technology originally developed for space applications has spun off and found other uses, such as portable computers, weapons, and even everyday household items." I replied as I carefully picked the right words. I didn't want to be seen as an idiot in front of probably the most valuable horses of Horseland.
I swear, if Twilight wrote any faster she'd set the damn notebook on fire, and what I said caught the attention of the others, especially Luna for some reason.
"Okay, next question... Um, you, Celestia." I said as I turned my attention towards her.
She looked at me, apparently still curious about what I had just told Twilight. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I would like you to continue telling us about this ... 'Space Age.'" She said as she stared at me with a perfect poker face.
'Ah, fuck. Thank God I paid attention during class, or I would be in some deep shit right now…’
"Er... Well, the Space Age reached its peak when the United States of America created the Apollo Program, which was a mission that was supposed to land the first humans on the moon. The landing of Apollo eleven was watched by over five hundred million people around the world when it finally touched down on the moon and is widely recognized as one of the most defining moments of the twentieth century. Since then, public attention has largely moved to other areas, such as other planets within our solar system, mainly Mars."
"And what is this… Mars?"
This went on for the better part of an hour, the one question rule being completely forgotten by the ten-minute mark as I was bombarded by questions. To put in perspective, I was a German city during 1944, and Twilight was a fleet of B-17s. During this time though, neither Luna nor Applejack said anything. I was about to see if I could get one of them to ask something, but it seemed Luna was one step ahead of me because as soon as I opened my mouth, she decided to snipe me with a question.
"Can thou tell us more about this... Apollo Program?"