//------------------------------// // Chapter 31: The strange stranger // Story: The Hacker Pwny // by Chetzi //------------------------------// My eyes groggily opened, seeing two images spin in circles. My vision stopped spinning, and I could tell I was in some small room. I felt my wrists touching something cold. I turned my neck to the side, I was trapped. My legs and arms were locked into place by bolted down handcuffs. I stood vertically as my feet dangled in the air. "How nice of you to join me." An unknown man said a few feet away from me. How cliché, he must watch a lot of action movies. I lifted my head up, viewing the man in the dark light. I couldn't make out more than an outline. His silhouette looked like a regular man. He was a few inches taller than me. He stood very straight. My eyes adjusted to the light, and I could make out a face. The man looked like he was a war interrogator. Me going up against a military interrogator in a mental struggle. This will be fun. He sat back down, and leaned his chair back. His finger pressed a red button on the table. On the table was also a large amount of other, unlabeled, buttons of various colors. The locks on my ankles and wrists clicked, and I fell out. I stumbled onto the floor, landing on my hands. The man started intensely, trying to figure me out. I got up from the ground, blood returning to my numb legs. My legs moved forward, towards a pulled out chair on the other side of the table. If I can stall long enough, Twilight may just be able to save me. The only door leading out of this room was locked tight, with some kind of eye scanner. A security camera in the corner of the room watched my every move. There were no mirrors, nobody could be watching from a one-way mirror. I sat down, scooting the chair into the table. I looked over the man again, he could hold his own in a fight. I probably wouldn't win in a fair fight. But then again, when do I ever fight fair? The man's face showed no emotion, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I kept my face calm also, I know how this game works. We sat there in silence for a few moments, until I said, "This is getting nowhere, ask your questions, I might answer them, and let me leave." The man only coldly chuckled. He then said, "If you're so insistent, fine. So, tell me, why are you helping these monsters?" My hand tensed just the smallest amount. Monsters. He has to call them monsters. That hypocrite. "Have you even seen what you're firing bullets at? Do you even know your enemy?" "More than you." I slammed my hands on the table. "You humans are all the same. You shoot first and ask questions later. JUST LOOK AT THEM! THEY'RE CARTOON PONIES! WHAT HAVE THEY EVER DONE TO YOU?!" "A lot. This isn't the first time we've seen Equestria. And you're being naive." "No am I not. They've never attacked me." "Not now, but a long time ago they attacked us." "What...?" "The ponies once visited Earth using magic. They thought we were the threat. Now that we have the technology to get rid of them, we will. For revenge." "How long ago was this?" "A few thousand years. A few paintings were drawn in rock that show them killing humans." No... this-this can't be. At that time, humans didn't pose a threat. "That was generations ago. They are different now." "No, there was one figure that stood above them all in paintings. We've identified her as Princess Celestia." Of course. She is immortal. But why? What reason did she have for attacking us so long ago? I'll have to find out later. Or maybe he’s just lying. "I'm not listening to this baseless babble. You could say anything. The point is, there is no reason to attack them now. It's all in the past." "No, they're still alive, and still a threat. Next question, do we kill the princess to win?" "There are two, and they're more magic than pony. I don't think that's possible." "How about instead of fighting, they leave?" "This is their home. You have no right to take it." "You're on the most advanced attack airship in the world. You think we're just going to ask nicely?" "There's where your problem is. The most, 'advanced' airship. There are no others. This is a prototype at best. In fact, this doesn't even look like it was made for war. The stronger side hull tells me it was made for space travel. And I bet that those energy cannons, are really just repurposed laser tethers for grabbing onto asteroids. The large turbines look like they were welded on after the ship was made. The force field has a high reflection energy level, useful for stopping asteroids. This ship is nothing more than a fear tactic. It's a hunk of junk." I figured that out as I talked. I had a nagging feeling that this ship was out of place. The man grew a scowl. His hands rested on table. "So you figured it out. It doesn't matter. Just tell us how to stop these cartoons from killing us all." "Simple," said an irritably familiar female voice, "don't shoot first." *ZAP* A purple bolt of energy stuck the man from behind. His body slumped down, revealing Twilight standing in the door frame. "Don't worry, he'll be okay. Just unconscious for a few hours." "I don't care. It would be better to just kill him." I said as I rose from the metal chair. "But, he might have a family or something to come back to. We can't just kill him!" "Then don't, he's not worth my time." I reached over to the end of table, and put my improvised weapons back into my pockets. "How'd you find me anyway?" "You have some kind of... aura I guess you could say. Sometimes, I can just feel you near. I'm not entirely sure, I could just feel you in this room." "Well stop, it's creepy. Now, let's take over the ship. Where'd my laptop go-" I hears a loud munching sound come from outside the room. It sounded like something biting plastic and metal and glass. I pushed past Twilight, to find Pinkie Pie beside me. But she wasn't my object of interest. What I was looking at, was what she had in her mouth. My laptop. She spit it out, a large chunk of the screen corner bitten off. The rest of it was covered in saliva. My arms fell to my side. Pinkie said, "Bleh, that DOES NOT taste like it looks. In expected chocolate, I got these crunchy bits instead. But it does kinda a electric thingy aftertaste to it.” All I could do was mumble, "My... laptop... you bit... my laptop... WHY DID YOU EAT THAT!?" “Because, it looked tasty! But it wasn't. Oh well, better to try and fail than never try. I bet the next thing will be better!" I spun around, meeting Twilight's gaze. "Look at what she did! I needed that! And why is it that she's here? She's not part of the plan!" Twilight's checks grew slightly red as she said, "Well, uh, you see, I couldn't find you, and Pinkie said she knew where you were, and I really didn't have any other options." "So the whole aura thing was just an excuse so you could keep Pinkie away me?" "I know you don't particularly like her, but I still needed her, so, uh, yeah." "But my laptop!" Pinkie said, "Don't worry silly, I can tape it back on!" "It doesn't work like that! You can't just-" "And done!" She snapped the corner she bit off back into the hole, and the screen looked like it had never been eaten by a talking cartoon pony. I pressed the power button, it booted up without problem. There was no evidence of any damage. My mind tried to comprehend what just happened, then I realized something. She's motherfucking Pinkie Pie. She doesn't NEED to make sense. I strapped the laptop onto my back and headed out. The hallways were a bit more lit than the previous ones, but the design and colors were the same. I went down the left end, for no reason. I didn't know where to go. Twilight and Pinkie Pie followed close behind. I heard a soft repeated thud from behind me. After only about ten steps, I hit the brakes and snapped toward Pinkie Pie. I told her, "Stop bouncing! Everyone a mile away can hear you!" "Okey dokey lokey!" A lone figure stood on a nearby cliff. His glowing yellow eyes scanned the massive airship over Manehatten. He was dressed in a brown robe that flowed in the wind. Only his eyes were visible. Nothing could be heard but the soft whisper of the wind. The mysterious pony said one thing to himself, "So, this is the hero of Equestria. How undeserving. I will have to test him." "This is the door we're looking for. The label says central command room." Twilight said. I put a hand on her hoof reaching for the door. I told her, "No, that's not what we need. There's probably thirty or so guards summing their guns at that door, and they're going to let loose a flurry of bullets at the slightest twitch of that door knob. No, we need to sound an alarm in the engines. The guards will come running to protect the only thing keep them from falling thousands of feet. The command center will be near empty. Now, come on, it's not that far." We snuck through corridors, making little noise. Wait, little noise? I sudden stopped, and ask Twilight, "How loud am I walking?" She replied with, "Very, it sounds like you're stomping your feet." I was never light on my feet, despite how fast I run. Then I remembered something. If I'm really that loud, why hasn't someone tried to stop us? The first time I snuck through these halls, I got caught. And this time, I have multiple people. Why aren't guards rushing in here, trying to capture us? Could it be that we're being watched, and they're trying to figure out what we're doing? Most likely have audio capture also, they can hear us talk. I briefly considered the option of abandoning stealth, and just making a run for it. But then I got a better idea. Let's play them on, trick them into thinking we have no idea. The only problem is I can't tell the ponies behind me without the humans hearing. I led my group down a few corridors, looking for the medical wing. The color scheme changed from black and orange to red and white. A few steady beeps could be heard from the rooms. This was definitely it. I rapped my knuckles on the first door with a medical symbol. It swung open, revealing a man in white pants and a white shirt with a red stripe going down it. The man looked to be about twenty or so, and had a clipboards he was staring at in his hands. He quickly said, "What is it? Who's hurt?" He never looked up from his clipboard. I said, "You know the hypocritical oath?" He glanced up from his clipboard, his eyes going wide at the sight of the two ponies behind me. "Of course, but... they're not injured." "How do you know? How much studying have you done?" "None, I have no idea how to help them." "The pink one just needs to lay down for a minute. Can you at least give her a bed?" "But she might-" "What? Attack you? It's a cartoon pony. That's all pink. They don't even have hands. Don't tell me you're afraid of cartoons." "Uh, well, I guess if she really needs it..." I motioned for Pinkie Pie to go into the room. The man asked a few questions about how she felt, and pointed her to a bed. I left the room and went back down the halls. Surely this distraction must have confused the people watching. They'll be afraid. They won't know what to do. I bet just to be safe, they're going to send a couple of guards to watch her. They can't attack her, not when she's being held by a medic. It'll leave them more disorganized. I walked past a storage closet, and I shoved both Twilight and myself into it. I pulled my laptop off my back, and booted it up. Let's just log onto the 'closed-circuit' camera network, launch a PDOS, and edit the video feed a bit to make it look like I'm in many places at once. I set a two minute timer, then started it. I closed my laptop and walked out of the closet. I made my way to the engineer room. The people watching us are probably starting to calm down, thinking that their original idea was right. Oh, how wrong they are. I counted down, they should be seeing me everywhere right about... now.