Life in the Fast Lane

by TheAmazingMe


Horse With No Name

Celestia...Div...I hope...good...my parents.

My thoughts swirled around.

My father stood over me, his gaze as stern as I'd ever feared. I felt about the smallest I'd ever been and cringed, waiting the harsh words that were sure to flow out. Instead, the colors of his coat and mane faded to gray, shriveled and fell away to reveal the skeleton beneath. The horrid grin of my father's skull sent shivers down my spine and I heard screams. Then I realized those screams were my own. I threw my hooves over my eyes.

That hellish nightmare melted away around me and I opened my eyes to see Div. My wonderful husband stood in full armor, spear at his side. He turned to see me and smiled. His helmet was off in a second and he charged at me, laughing. My limbs flew over the ground between us and we collided in a tangle of limbs, his armor having disappeared. In the rush of touch, I found myself on the ground, pinned by Div's forehooves as he stood over me. He leaned in for the kiss and I closed my eyes and waited...

I couldn't get my thoughts to settle. My body felt positively broiled as well as beaten to a pulp. The worst pain was in my throat; from the bile in my mouth I'm sure I'd thrown up. At some point, I was aware that I was in a cave of some sort, but the light at the entrance was too bright. Hours might have passed.

The next thing I knew, a soft light blue glow enveloped me.

"Quite a state you're gotten yourself into. This won't be as easy a wish to grant as I thought." The voice was on the higher end of the male spectrum. Through my fevered haze (which coincidentally included smiling singing flowers and a skeleton in armor) I caught sight of a softly glowing pony. He stood taller than most ponies, his light-gray coat and sky blue mane practically...sparkled. "When you wish upon a shooting star...ta-da!" The world started to turn black around the edges and I heard the voice speak again before blacking out. "Honestly, I travel all over the galaxy and decide to do a little favor and do I get thanked for it?"

***

I think I was awake, but my eyes stayed shut. Even the soft blue glow was too much too handle.

"You're breathing's changed, so maybe you can hear me?" It was the voice from before. "I think it only fair to impart some wisdom. Things are not as they seem. Beware the smiling face..." Sleep overtook me before I could hear more.

***


My flesh was chilled, but I woke up to a curious face leaning over me. The blanket spread out over me was warm, if a bit scratchy. I suppose I had this face to thank for the blanket. Trying to move my head resulted in an explosion of pain. I wheezed and for the first time became aware of the scorching ruin that was my throat. I screwed my eyes shut as my throat attempted to unstick itself.

"I wouldn't move around too much if I were you, my little pony." The odd accent was hard to place, but by the voice, I was probably dealing with a male. My attention returned to the pon—no, he wasn't a pony. He had antlers that seemed to fork out instead of branching like the ones in story books. His coat blended into the dusty grayish brown of our surroundings. He wiggled his rather large floppy ears and retrieved a canteen. His posterior was white, his tail ropey and tipped with black. "Here, have some water."

I drank, with some help from the—deer? That seemed most likely, even with the differences.

"I'm sure you have plenty of questions. I have some as well. That'll have to wait until your voice heals. Yes, I know how your throat hurts. While I mix up something to soothe the ache, I'll tell you how I came to find you."

The light of the dawn shimmered off of a rare sight in the San Palamino. As a desert mule deer, Ludic initially dismissed such a sight as a mirage. He broke camp lazily, taking time to ensure that his fire was well out. Walking the path parallel to the wash, Ludic gave the air a sniff. Unless his senses were lying, there was definitely water in the wash. Increasing his pace, the mule deer drew near to a place where the wash wasn't blocked by tall shrubs to confirm the presence of that most precious of resources.

"What..." I intended to ask what this deer was doing, as the images of his story appeared in my head. Instead, I croaked painfully, unable to recognize my own voice at first.

"Didn’t anyone tell you it's rude to interrupt a storyteller?" The deer chided. "Besides, your voice is likely wrecked from all the water and bile you've thrown up. Also, you might have screamed yourself hoarse. Heh, horse. Anyway, it’s been a devil of a time having you keep things down long enough to do you any good. Now, where was I?"

Any faun would know not to drink here where the water is mostly silt and debris. An experienced desert resident like Ludic wouldn't be that hasty unless in dire straits. Instead, the hardened veteran turned upstream and headed for the best source of water he could find. This took him to the caves known for large scorpions, but in the heat of the day it was highly unlikely that these beasts would leave their homes. The trip had taken the better part of two days, but the best water was always preferable.

Then Ludic caught sight of something he'd never seen in the desert. As he leaned down to drink from the stream, a rainbow play of colors skittered about the surface of the water. Looking up to the other bank, he saw its source; a depression in the ground filled with a softly glowing glittery sand. And in the middle of all of that, a pony.

"Nursing you to health wasn’t as hard as I thought. I did have to watch out for your horn, which kept discharging at odd moments. I figure that was how you ended up in a bed of glitter. No accounting for taste, but then again you were pretty far out of it." He finished off as the story melted away.

I opened my mouth, but a bottle interrupted me. The deer — Ludic, if his story was anything to go by — held it for me and, with a grimace, I drank the solution inside. In spite of the taste, it did reduce the burning in my throat.

"About six more of those and you can speak. Not well, you're singing days might be behind you, but at least you'll be able to tell me your name." I opened my mouth to try again, but his hoof closed it again. "Trust me, you'll only make yourself worse by using your voice before you're ready. So, for now, I'll be going through this desert with you, my little pony without a name. Hm. Without A Name. WAN. How's that? You mind if I call you Wan?"

I narrowed my eyes, but his hoof was still on my chin. I shook my head.

"You don’t mind? Great, Wan. Let's get going. The sooner we test those black-pointed legs of yours, the better." I sighed, more than a little annoyed by the misinterpretation. Then again, he had asked me if I minded. I'd have to watch out for that in the future.

As it turned out, my legs worked as well as they ever did. Ludic's cave was south of where he'd found me. It was along the path of the river, so Ludic assured me that we'd have rescuers coming our way soon. I, on the other hoof, couldn’t help but worry that nopony would be coming. The odds of my survival were so miniscule that even my family would count me out.

With a pang, I thought about Sogni. Could Div give up on me? He had our son to look after. My parents were better now more than ever but they were getting to old to raise a foal. Then there was his career in the Royal Guard. He'd buried his distaste for pegasus ponies just to make something of himself. Would he give up that purpose on the slim hope of finding me?

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop." Ludic ordered. With a will, I calmed my breathing. "If nopony comes looking for you, I'll take you upstream myself. There's a town so small it's not on any map, but you should be able to get work back to...wherever it is you call home. I just have to gather a few supplies for the both of us. Give it a day, then we make our way up to civilization.

The day passed torturously slowly. Ludic marked my unease with a knowing glance a few times, but said nothing more on the subject. What he did talk about was survival tips for traveling in the desert. From the plethora of information he provided, I gathered he really was every bit the veteran desert-dweller. After starting a fire to his satisfaction, we took a break in survival lessons.

"You'll be happy to know that I've spotted a fire off in the distance. By my estimates, they're not far from where I found you." I smiled. I should've known my family wouldn't count me out. I could hardly wait to see their reactions when we met again. "Now, we really need to head that way. I have everything we'd need. Don't forget to take dose number six, though, there's a good lad." He passed the last bottle of medicine over to me. Not being able to talk, ask questions, or even share my name was really a pain.

"Now, Wan, I know you've been dying to tell me, so let's have it. What's your name?" Ludic asked, ropey tail swishing excitedly.

"After all this..." I started, surprised to still have such a gravelly quality to my voice. "I think I'll owe my husband just a bit. Life. Life diVolare."

"Well, Life, it's been a pleasure. Let's get you back to your husband." With a start, I realized Ludic couldn't have known about my family situation. As he casually threw a hooded cloak and a set of saddlebags over my back, I was even more pleased to know him. He'd saved my life and accepted who I was without even blinking an eye.

"Sounds good." I replied.

***

"Um, Ludic." I began, looking over at the alarmingly large scorpions crawling out of their den.

"Yes, Life?" He answered quietly. The tension was thick enough to swim through.

"You never mentioned giant scorpions when you described this area." I said calmly.

"Well, I did, actually, in that story I shared with you mentally." He reminded me.

"How did I gloss over that?" I wondered aloud as a scorpion turned on the mixed group of family and Royal Guards.

"To be fair, you'd been through quite a lot." Div and Mountain Stone held their own against the giant creature. When it landed on its back in the river, I nearly cheered. Then I saw more scorpions.

"Oh, they're gonna need help." I said as the scorpions turned on the group of ponies before us.

As the ponies retreated, Ludic stood up. "Well, nothing for it, I guess. Let's get a move on!"

We cut off along the riverbank. We forded the river where it bent around and made a beeline through the brush to avoid the longer way around. When we neared the path again, I saw my father and Div. Dad looked in rough shape, favoring a forelimb. Ludic and I jumped over a hedge and onto the path between them and the oncoming scorpions.

"A shield will only delay them and we are strong enough to take them on, even two-on-three." Ludic called out. Thinking of the reinforcements behind us, I had other plans.

"I'll raise the shield, you heal the older one and then we'll make a run for it." I replied.

Thankfully, Ludic went along with my plan. "I'll be quick."

Under my hood, my horn lit up and my magic split up the path and a large portion of the surrounding area. The creatures actually attacked the shield rather than go around. Nopony could say these things were intelligent. After the manticore, I was really starting to get tired of things with stinging tails.

Looking back, I saw Ludic and the other two starting up the path. I'm sure they would have signaled me eventually, but I took the cue anyway. Holding on just a moment longer to give myself a better head-start, I dropped the shield.

We hit the camp with the overgrown scorpions behind us. Thankfully, our reinforcements had a plan. The Royal Guards swung flaming torches at the creatures, one even breathing flame at them. I'd have to ask where he picked up that particular talent.

With the bugs driven away and my father on the ground being attended to by Golden Touch, I turned to face Sgt. Stone. He and Ludic seemed to be getting along already. Ludic had his hood down and was carrying on a rather one-sided conversation.

"And I'll tell you, dragging a pony on a makeshift stretcher for a day or so really takes it out of even the most hardened desert dweller." They turned to me as I approached.

Sgt. Stone held out a hoof, smiling. I returned his hoof-shake, glad to see him again. "Div wouldn't have forgiven us if we'd given up on you."

"Add him to the list of ponies I owe a lot to." I said. If Stone was surprised by my new voice, he didn't show it.

Div walked up. I turned to face him, realizing that in this light, he couldn't see under my hood. Oh, this is too good, I thought.

"Hey, thanks for the cover. We all made it back thanks to you too." Belatedly, I realized he had his hoof out towards me. Throwing back my hood, I took his hoof and shook it casually.

A smiled at him. "No problem, hubby." My smile widened as he took all of me in. As he pulled me into a hug, I saw the tears glimmering in his eyes. I knew I really needed to make things up to him.

***

Our actions with the manticore and the bridge collapse earned us a bit of notoriety, a small fortune in bits as a settlement, and lifetime rail passes. Even so, we'd decided on taking a horse-drawn carriage back to Canterlot. It would be a while before I could trust taking a train again. Or a bridge, for that matter.

On the final stop before Canterlot, we had a great view of the city on the mountain. In the waning sunlight, she looked beautiful. But, in the back of my mind, I knew dark things lurked there waiting for us. I couldn't let my family stand in the crossfire. It was time to take the fight to Genuine. There was just something I needed to know.

I shooed Bruiser towards the carriage and turned to Div. "We've been avoiding this subject for too long, Div. Now we're nearly home and that...mare is there too."


Div shrugged and looked towards Canterlot. "She couldn't possibly have set a manticore against a train, sabotaged the engine, the pull ropes and the bridge. Not to mention getting the weather ponies to send a downpour down the wrong river at the wrong time. Too much could've gone wrong. It would've been easier to send a hitpony."


I kept the growl out of my voice through sheer force of will. Div had to take this seriously! "Against a royal guard and a unicorn? I know I don't toot my own horn, so to speak, but I graduated from the most prestigious magical academy in Equestria. I'm no pushover. And, as the recent expedition has proved, I am incredibly hard to kill."


"Yeah you are." Div smiled, leaning in for a kiss. I let him, but got back to the business at hoof quickly.


"Genuine Article?" I reminded him.


"I took care of her." He had that same look of guilt that he did when we were colts. I wasn't falling for it.


I snorted. "So you think."


"So I know." Div snorted in reply. "We've been through a lot together, Life. And if 'the recent expedition has proved' anything it is that we are strong together."

"We're up against one of the most influential mares I've ever met. She's already made it clear she won't fight fair. I need to know what happened while I was gone, Sogni. Not just to satisfy my own curiosity. This isn't some whim. This is our family. You, me, Bruiser, our parents. Who's going to get hurt next? It won't take her long to realize we're back. Then it'll be back to ruining our lives. We have more to lose, now." I reminded him.

His gaze flicked to me and back again. If anything, his guilt-ridden look only got worse. This was bad.

At last, he spoke. "Do you remember what she told you about getting her cutie mark?"

I turned him around, shocked. "Tell me you didn't..."

He looked down in shame. "I had to get her to leave you alone. I had to make sure you could come back home. That you could have your life back. That I could have my Life back, too."

I turned back towards Canterlot. The spires and flags shining in the distance now stood to remind me of the danger that lay ahead of us. Softly, I whispered. "Oh, Div."